Yes, he's definitely being too old fashioned. That was a disappointing end-- I thought the rant was going to be about creepy old guys that stare at teenage girls while they pump gas. Once when I was about 16, some old guy who must have been at least 50 came up to me and said something like "too bad I have to wait for gas, but at least I get to watch pretty girls like you."

Old-school sexism! It's kinda cute, actually.

Yay sexism. I have a driver's license, my fiance does not (due to severe anxiety issues, coupled with the fact that until recently we lived in New Jersey, the worst place in the world to drive). So I was the sole driver, I owned the car, I was responsible for maintenance, pumping gas whenever we left Jersey, whatever. It never bothered me, and it's irksome that people still think that a boy should have a car to drive his girlfriend around in or that he should pump her gas for her. If you have a problem with a girl driving her boyfriend around, why would it be okay if it was vice-versa?

Wow, the latest comment by "Kit" really let the guy have it. I have to say I must agree. The good Dr was making way too many assumptions.

I live in New Jersey, so I don't have to pump gas. But I did pump gas when I was at school in New York. It's very easy. There are directions on the pump, and the gas stops pumping when the tank is full. It's not rocket science.

The only thing that sucks about having to pump gas is if you have some sort of physical disability that keeps you from being able to do so, like arthritis. Most gas stations that I have seen out-of-state charge more to have someone pump it for you. I think that's ableism, and people shouldn't have to pay extra for the same gas just because they have a disability.

i love Kitt's response :)

I commented there, too, with what I hope is viewed as a polite disagreement. It's not up yet, and who knows if the blogger even stops to think about it, but I hope he does.

The thing that I hate about chivalry more than the must-help-poor-dainty-woman aspect is that the good manners only flow one way. WHY should men be the only ones who are expected to do "chivalrous" things? The way this blogger and his supporters are talking, if a woman decided to do a polite thing for a man, the man would be branded a loser who's going to get his girlfriend knocked up. What in the world is up with THAT?

I was all in the mode of "this makes sense, so long as it goes both ways" until he made that secondary comment. He made a totally baseless assumption about those two people. I'm sure he'd be outraged all the same if he saw one of my best friends pay for the gas I pumped because, well, I did all the driving and she's pitching in for the labor. It's an agreement we usually have and it works for us.

Totally judgmental on his part.

I don't think the dr said anything 'creepy' or implied that he was 'staring' in a sexual way at the teen girl. He was simply making an observation so I see no need to chastise him for this.

And, while of course I know that women don't need 'help' pumping their gas, I see the point he was making-- are you going to tell me that there are no lazy guys out there who never offer to cook dinner, or mow the lawn, or change the diapers, or pump the gas?

I think this is what he was assuming when he saw the young guy sitting there while the woman pumped the gas.

I'm not saying the guys assumptions were justified-- but it seems as though he was stereotyping young teenage boys more than he was young teenage girls.

Oh please,
Feminism doesn't require that males be lazy, parasitic, inconsiderate assholes.

If you are doing your boyfriends laundry, driving him around, pumping the gas, taking out the trash and holding the door open for him- that is not what makes you a feminist.

don't be stupid.
gads.

Comment I posted on the good doctor's blog: What?! Wait a second. You mean that a teenage girl was driving a car while her supposed boyfriend was the passenger? By the Goddess, what is this world coming to? I suppose the good doctor is also shocked that there are women doctors as well as women drivers.

(I have known women who have had boyfriends who had to insist on driving HER car while SHE is the passenger. I do not know who is more pathetic: the guy who needs to be in control of every scenario, or the woman who lets him do it).

My bf and I both like to drive, and neither of us is accident-prone, so we tend to switch off to spread out the wear on cars and expense. Whoever is driving fills up (I know where all the levers and buttons are in my car better than he does, and similarly he knows his own car better than I do!), and, since it amazingly only takes one person to pump gas into a car--even if it's a ladyperson--the other usually ends up sitting inside or washing the windows or something. God forbid the passenger simply sit in the car for the whole 5 minutes it takes to pump gas.

Not to mention that in this case, we know nothing at all about the particulars of the situation. Maybe the guy was disabled, or exhausted, or hates the smell of gas, or his favorite song was on the radio, or it was (like it is here) frickin cold outside and there's no reason for both of them to freeze. Sitting inside a car does not necessarily indicate laziness.

He never took into consideration that the girl is a teenager and the car or insurance is probably in her parent's name, or that the insurance only covers the girl driving which means letting the boyfriend drive would be irresponsible. It also may be that the boy hasn't turned 16 yet. Maybe he wasn't a boyfriend, but rather a cousin or friend or even a brother!

Also, there's a good chance mom and dad's credit card was paying for the gas if this girl is 16. And if she is paying, and driving him around, who knows maybe he buys her lunch for gas money or gives her $5 (and she would do the same for him or a friend). When my friends and I were in high school and one person had to drive we took turns paying each other back for gas by buying a movie ticket or something....it had nothing to do with boy/girl.

But, to answer your question, it is too old fashioned and mind your business. My pretty nimble fingers can handle the gas pump without the help of my big dreamy manly boyfriend, thank you very much.

My boyfriend drives me everywhere. He is always the one who pumps gas. However, he's also the one who does my laundry and cooks for me. Would the doctor be so outraged if he saw the girl cooking for her boyfriend while the boyfriend lazed around? Probably not.

However, I find that notions of chivalry are really hard to overcome. My father raised both me and my brother with fairly similar chivalric coding. For example, in family situations, I still stand up when an older adult enters the room. I still hold open doors for people, regardless of gender. I still want to hold chairs open for people when we're sitting down for dinner. I want to help people with their coats. However, as I grew up, I realized that this led to a bunch of weird looks from family and friends... plus, it's made my boyfriends rather uncomfortable, and makes them be more gallant to compensate (which makes me feel weird). Anyway, I'm trying to break the habits, but it's rather hard when it's been ingrained into you...

It's... pumping gas. It shouldn't even be A Thing.

I can't drive, but my wife can (I'd learn, but money's hell of tight and I can't afford the lessons). So she drives, and pumps the gas, and knows what the hell a carburettor does (as far as I can tell, it is a tiny altar upon which oil is sacrificed to the Engine Fairy) and sometimes she pays for the gas and sometimes I do because we don't really have seperate money.

And it has no impact on our relationship whatsoever. I mean, sure, if she's been driving a lot then I pick up the slack in terms of other chores that need doing, but I mean it's not A Thing. It's just gas. It doesn't need blustering over.