That 'nice guys finish last' thing is simply a product of the patriarchy, and isn't even all that true. In a masculine culture, it's about competition and doing what you can to win. Not to mention, a true 'nice guy' is just nice because he wants to be, not because he thinks he deserves a reward that is a hot girlfriend. I am friends with plenty of 'nice guys' who are actually quite sexist. They think rape jokes are funny, think pointing out sexism is useless and stupid, and love telling jokes about women as items to bang. They even seriously talk about 'girl watching.' In front of girls or not, i this a 'nice guy' to you?

My boyfriend was never into talking about women in a sexist manner. Even long before we started dating, I figured he had no interest in women because he never talked about them when other make friends did. He had some fine tuning to do, but I didn't need to convince him of anything. I'd explain my point once, and he'd logically figure out whether it made sense. He is now a feminist, and actually just bought the book you spoke of on his own accord. Boys and men out there like this do exist, and all you really need to do is point out how sexism is everywhere, and how it hurts men as well as women. They just need to feel included, and know that feminism isn't against men, because without men, feminism can't progress very easily.

I'm female and I felt alienated by a decent chunk of the things I read in women's studies.
In most cases, the authors of the text were coming from very different perspectives than I was, and writing for audiences that don't necessarily include me. There was one article I remember that was half in Spanish, and I don't speak Spanish. Only being able to do half the reading sucked for me, but also made an important point about language and access.

Being alienated is probably part of the journey for men learning about women's studies. Most learning is framed, to some degree, on men's terms. It makes sense that they would be uncomfortable when those tables turn. It'll get better, but they will have to think about what things are like for women, instead of just trying to tie everything back to themselves. It's women's studies. They do have something to contribute, but the conversation isn't about them.

Your student was offended at the thought that a woman might consider him in a non-sexual manner? Sounds like he needs more women's studies classes. Guess what kiddo, we are not here to grant you pussy.

I'm not sure if your students are up for this, but you could try and have your male students deconstruct some of the ideas/expectations of masculinity.

And I second FrumiousB. If that was the point your student was making.

Good luck en enjoy teaching...!

Jessica discusses dating and boys through a feminist lense in the book- so clearly she was not implying that males are in the friends only zone. The book is sex positive and pretty hetereo-centric so I don't see how one sentence can make your student(s) think that a)feminists arn't looking for lovers or b) feminists arn't looking for male lovers.

I would also say that the book is written specifically for female feminists so it doesn't take a hard glance at how gender role issues and the patriachy affect men. Try Jessica's other book (He's a Stud She's a Slut) for that (and other books that look at double standards/ gender roles). If they arn't satisfied, THEN you can give them the "yeah see whats it's like to feel alienated and like the "second" sex?!" bit.

AWESOME!! Thanks for the conversation.

Today we brought up how patriarchy affects
men as well, and I'm sure I saw a few light bulbs go off. I will surely bring up the
"feel alienated? Good!" idea next time.

I'll certainly be incorporating "he's a stud
she's a slut" in a future class. So much to read, so little time...