I think by now everyone has probably seen or read about some of the horribly violent, misogynistic, degrading commercials that were aired during the Superbowl. Personally, I sent emails to the worst offenders explaining why I didn't like the commercials and that I would no longer buy their products. Today I received this response from Frito-Lay:
Hi Jenny,Thank you for contacting Frito-Lay. Your comments are important to us, so we appreciate your sharing them with us.
Please know that we are sorry that you found the ad for DORITOS® Nacho Cheese Flavored Tortilla Chips offensive. It was intended to be a tongue-in-cheek, light-hearted way for us to talk about our Doritos. Over the years, Frito-Lay has tried to present humorous ads that are enjoyed by all. The objective is to present our products in fun and entertaining ways and along the way, interest people in our snacks. The great challenge in this is to be entertaining without offending.
Your feedback indicates that we fell short of your expectations and for that, we apologize. We hope our future actions will restore your confidence in our name and will earn back your trust and support.
Best regards,
Linda
Frito-Lay Consumer Affairs
To me this basically reads like a "I'm sorry you feel that way" non-apology. It's not the worst response they could have had, but far from the best.
Has anyone else written letters complaining about commercials? Have you received responses? What would be a satisfying response to you?
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I don't know; to me, that sounds very sincere. They acknowledge the problem, state their original intent, and then apologize that they fell short of your expectations, and pledge to do better in the future. If they follow through, I'd say they're listening! If not, then yes, it's a non-apology. But it's possible they got a lot of feedback and are actually going to listen. I feel like they could have just said "sorry we offended you, but we like our ad," but they seem to have taken you seriously and might actually take a second look at themselves.... here's hoping, anyway!!
I thought it was a fair apology too. I think it had everything a good apology should have, which is an explanation of why they did what they did and an expression of regret. It creates a better understanding of what went wrong and an acknowledgement of the offended person's feelings.
Jenny, what do you look for in an apology?
I don't know how Jenny defines a good apology, but I think a good apology needs recognition of WHY the behavior was wrong. It needs a sign of active listening. A good response would have taken something specific from her letter and reflected her concern back to her.
This looks like it could easily be a form letter sent to anybody who was offended for any reason.
If you don't recognize your error and say that you understand why it was wrong, you're not really apologizing, in my opinion. You're not really sorry for your actions if you don't think they were wrong, you just want to placate somebody and make them go away.
Well, we don't know what was in the letter since she didn't post it. I also don't think an apology needs an explanation of why the behavior was wrong, since that's usually already said by the person who was hurt.
There are a couple of definitions of "apology." One is a defense of one's position. Another is a plea for forgiveness and expression of regret. I think a good apology has elements of both. Having only one or the other ends up dismissing somebody's feelings, which doesn't help in achieving any sort of understanding.
It was pretty violent when that guy got hit by the bus, but I thought it was pretty funny.
My reaction to this is mixed.
1. This language used, "Please know that we are sorry that you found the ad..." places the responsibility for experiencing offense upon the offended. It has nothing to do with their behavior, but rather the way you experienced the behavior. It's a nice way of saying your experience is your problem and, oh, we're sorry you have a problem. It's like the difference between "sorry you think I'm an ass" and "sorry I was such an ass." Huge.
2. "Your feedback indicates that we fell short of your expectations and for that, we apologize." This is redeeming, but I suspect they will only change if enough Dorito-eaters write in expressing the same sentiments, so you definitely did your part, regardless of whatever slick letter they come up with to offset the damage. Maybe that's what is bothering me. It feels slick.
To me a satisfying response is "We realize now that jokes about women's clothing being removed without her consent are not funny in any way and perpetuate rape-culture. We would hate to be a part of this just to make men laugh. We also realize now that women watch football and eat Doritos too. They work and have money to spend on our product and therefore we deeply regret pissing you off. Truly. We're sorry. We will figure out a way to use humor without alienating you. Maybe we should hire some strong, feminist women producers and give them the freedom to work without suppressing their feedback. Thanks for helping us become enlightened!"
Let me know if you ever get such a response :-)
"jokes about women's clothing being removed without her consent"
... really?
UGH. This is why I've been avoiding watching the super bowl commercials, even though they're linked on all the blogs I read.
"Please know that we are sorry that you found the ad..." places the responsibility for experiencing offense upon the offended. It has nothing to do with their behavior, but rather the way you experienced the behavior. It's a nice way of saying your experience is your problem and, oh, we're sorry you have a problem.
Except this is exactly how being offended works. Not everyone is offended by the same things. There are few, if any, things that are objectively offensive. It's like taste. I can't tell you that cheese tastes bad. I can only tell you that cheese tastes bad to me and to the others who taste the same way.
And our experiences are our problem. Taking care of our problems and making sure they don't take over our lives is our responsibility.
"And our experiences are our problem. Taking care of our problems and making sure they don't take over our lives is our responsibility."
Yes. Part of this for me is identifying when I think an apology is insincere and refraining from supporting that company until I see change. Given the content of the ad, I think it is reasonable to view any letters with a skeptical eye.
I don't see it as abdicating responsibility for my experience to view an ad that publicly blows the clothing off a woman as offensive. To say that the problem is how I view it and they're sorry for how I viewed it, as the letter seems to do with their choice of language, is a refusal to take ownership for active participation in rape-culture.
You're right when you say that offense is subjective. That may explain the wording of the letter. However, if they will not acknowledge in a direct way that their ad was disrespectful to women, I can expect future such ads and can act accordingly with my snack choices. This is taking responsibility for my experiences. I refuse to experience supporting their business.
Unless you plan on suing them for distress, they're not going to really admit very much guilt... even then, you'd be hard pressed to get it.
As someone who does occasionally have to write similarly styled letters for work, I can tell you this person has to both make sure you feel heard, but also back up the company which she represents. Her ass is on the line if she doesn't. It's a hard balancing act to achieve and I think she did a really good job with this. The last thing any company wants to do is alienate its core customers for the sake of new business.
This is about as good as you can get with a corporate apology. It's possible PR briefed the other departments on the possibility of this happening because of the ad in question. I'm just assuming the last part, though.
I thought it was a good letter.
about that Frito lay letter? I think it was kind of nice as she seemed, in her corporate " professional" way like they all do, actually show some form of apology. yes, that ad was fucking disgusting, I mean even as a woman attracted to women view; the part which was sickening is that it was strictly intended for the guys; much unlike the Go Daddy ads showing the race car driver, Dania? is it [ I forgot-don't watch NASCAR ] ; which could be be perceived as proving strong/independent women doing traditionally dangerous " male" sports can be both tough and sexy.
as for others in superbowl 43? 1. Bud light, as always , with their " chicks do this all the time" shit [ evaluate/are impressed by asshole macho men whom act like jerks!]. BUT the worst of all? 2.did anyone guess those ads for that stupid show[ one of way too many!]on NBC called 'CHUCK' THE WORST BY FAR!
3. the telaflora ads where the flowers talk "dirty" to the woman in office- how degrading to the max! as if women don't feel like shit enough about their bodies and self-images.
4.the Cheetos tiger ads where the " valley girl" style woman was talking loud at the cafe on the cell phone using words like " it's like, ummm-like you know" ; with the other woman getting all hissy fitted about this. in come Mr. Cheetos Tiger to release the pigeons and dump shit on the one talking to " gross her out" . I think what pissed me off the most in this ad was that, minus the preppy fashions- that chatty girl was definitely like ME and how I often talk in public on my cell phone.
5. the " same old shit" type ad, Bud Light, I think , as usual. there's good old "Mr. Slick Dick" trying to pick up the size 0-4 model all looking and acting " pretty" and flirty; when her dad calls and Mr. Slick Dick acts like he just pissed his boxers!
6 the ad for that show 'THE APPRENTICE'[ donald trump] with who the fuck else? ANDREW DICE CLAY- Comedian sexist, homophobic/trans-phobic bastard Asshole of the 20th century. as a transsexual woman thinking back to my " former life as It" , I can't believe that I once liked that fucking jerk named Dice many years ago [ real name, Andrew Kaplan I learned in a Greenwich village NYC comedy bar on my first public adventure in 'coming out'and being made " star of the show" by an amateur like him- He's actually 100% Jewish- not half Italian as I thought.] Coming across one of his old clips recently when my guy friend e-mailed his You Tube clip to me; I swear I felt like smacking him across the face for what he joked about how gays " deserve to be beaten and die of AIDS"; along with his old one about " denying life support to that trans-testicle" which a NY city macho fire-man/EMT actually took quite seriously, AND DID. [www.rememberingourdead.org ]makes me wonder who that firefighter learned that from? FEMINIST ANSWER FOR " DICE"? UNCENSORED COMEDY BATTLE WITH MARGARET CHO- as she'll verbally rip his fucking testicles right off and send him home crying , and maybe carrying them in his hand; in shame!
NOW-THE BEST ADS! 1. the USA network ads about some show where the girls kill the dudes was bitchen' , real kewl! [ in my mind, I thought right quick of that Dixie Chicks's song line, "but this time, the tables are turned"! ]
2. The Budweiser ad where the really cute Clydesdale horses hook up, when the " stud" horse wanders off from his master heading to the circus to meet the " mare of his life" LOL! the part I loved there was if you looked at the woman working for the circus as trainer, she was plus-sized, maybe even a plus-sized transgender woman? and it was all about the pretty horses for a change!
3. the E-Trade ad- with the white baby talking the usual for that ad " hip hop slang" , but this time with the black baby! kewl-way cute! yet sort of stupid, my first thoughts were, " now all we need is the lesbian mom to complete this attempt at diversity. or maybe two fathers of the kids?"
all in all, thought, I have to say this years superbowl commercials were slightly more tasteful, sort of. at least some of them!
Just an FYI. Dania Patrick is a well-respected woman in Indy racing. It pisses me off that she chooses to advertise for someone as horrid as GoDaddy. It all goes back to the male lens.
Cherylsass123,
I actually find people (of any gender) who talk loudly on their cell phones to be incredibly annoying - I really don't want or need to hear your personal conversation, so please keep it down.
It might have been better if it had been an annoying male cell phone user being shit on by pigeons - a character similar to "Inconsiderate Cell Phone Man" from the movie trailers, for example.
It would have been just as funny, a whole lot less sexist, and very validating for those of us who remember the old days before cell phones when you didn't have to be forced to listen in to the inane phone calls of strangers in public places!
and as for letters I've written? well one after I read how the human rights council LGBT organization, critiqued differnet companies' policies on lesbians and gays/LGBT's.
1. AFLAC insurance- asking " as a lesbian thinking of buying AFLAC health insurance" just what their policy was as to insuring same sex spouses. [ this after seeing their ads on nearly every college football game] Answer? " a salesman/person will contact you shortly on your request." [ HRC's right!]
2. Real Simple magazine- a woman's magazine dedicated[ supposedly?] to " simplifying busy women's lives" - by convincing them they " must have" this $579 dress, that Clinique makeup/facial package, go on that diet to stay thin; and yes, Botox "so that you can look years younger than 49". I contacted them saying that all they do is feature beauty ads which make older women feel ashamed about their looks. www.realsimple.com REPLY? nothing!
I sent a Dell computer ad from Dec. 2007 Real Simple- featuring the fashion model in sports bra and lingerie using computer as rowing machine- into Ms. "No Comment" offensive ads - lets see if it gets listed by Ms. in any future issue.
I sent one to Bridgestone. I have yet to receive a reply.