Horrible. A TV station owner in NY confessed to beheading his wife. The worst thing about this is that heartbreaking sentence: "His wife filed for divorce January 6, and police had responded to several domestic violence calls at the couple's home"
It always seems to be too late. No one really believes that abuse is serious enough, that it will go so far, until it's too late. I work at a DV hotline, and every week I hear the most heart wrenching stories, and the common theme that runs through them is "No one believes me-no one will help me."
I have no solution for this problem; I don't know the best way to address it. One of the most intractable and heartbreaking issues that we face as a world-wide society.
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This crime is truly horrible - especially in light of the fact that the guy started a TV channel to counter anti Muslim racist stereotypes - and then he goes and cuts his wife's head off! In other words, he BECAME a walking racist anti Muslim stereotype!
He also became a walking anti-White American male stereotype. Plenty of white Christian dudes kill their wives, but nobody examines the role of Christianity in the killings.
I liked this post because it didn't mention that he was Muslim. I think the domestic violence is the salient issue, not his religion. There are professed Christians who murder their wives, and the fact that they are Christian is rarely included. It seems that the modifier "Muslim" is only attributed to ugly stories. I agree with Gregory. It is too bad this kind of story will reinforce the kind of cruel and ignorant dialogue suffered by my Muslim friends.
I share your heartbreak zp27, there has to be some better way to protect women. And believing them is definitely a step in the process.
I agree with both of you-there is no information in the story that points to his religion having anything to do with the crime. It's possible, of course, but Islam hardly corners the market on patriarchy, abuse and shame. The beheading part-yes, that does make it seem like it could be an honor killing to me, but I know so little about Islam, Sharia, or even moderate Muslim practices that I feel unwilling to really speculate on that.
What I don't like about all of the articles I have seen about this horrific incident iss the way they are over-emphasizing the fact that his t.v. station was meant to counteract Muslim stereotypes. It's true, what he did was despicable and did play into the stereotype of Muslim men being violent toward women. However, the way it has been stated it almost feels like the news media is saying, "See? All Muslim men ARE violent! Even the guy trying to prove us wrong decapitated his wife!" I think this is problematic because this is one case of violence. It does not speak for the entire community of Muslim Americans. I get the feeling that the subtext of these articles is making a blanket comment about this entire group of people, and that is not right.
It seems rather, that the fact that he is a Muslim is a central part of this evil bit of news. Without getting into specific verses, but focusing on general attitudes, there is a huge difference in how women are viewed in Islam and Christianity. I think there is a view that woman are like property, even animals in Islam, therefore violence against them is justified. This is not the case in Christianity. There is an attitude of repect, dignity and love for women, so one doing violence to women is clearly violating a Christian ethic.
I am also puzzled how Liberals fail to see that they are helping to subvert Democracy by propagating this false view of Islam as non violent towards women. Any assessment of the UK and Europe shows that Liberals there are tolerating the advancement of Sharia Law and that is not good for women in any way. I think feminists might want to reconsider how to view Islam, particularly now that such a heinous crime has been committed like this in America. An ironic thing might be that feminists will need the help of Christians in the future because both will be targets of these Jihadists, moderate or not.
"This is not the case in Christianity. There is an attitude of repect, dignity and love for women, so one doing violence to women is clearly violating a Christian ethic."
I'm not so sure about that. I would argue that the mainstream Christian view of women in American is not always one of dignity and respect. Many Christian women are taught to obey and submit to the will of their husbands and to ignore many of their own desires, thoughts and feelings. Having been raised around many Christian people, I was often told to aspire to find a husband and have children. I was told this was the greatest thing I could ever hope to achieve. I don't feel that this view respects women and girls. I found it hurtful, degrading and damaging.
Besides, Christian men have killed their wives, too.
Besides, Christian men have killed their wives, too.
True. But you do not see others praising this action like in Islam or the claim that honor justifies such an evil act. It seems a lot can be justified in Islam in terms of violence against others: nonbelievers and women, which is distinctly absent from Christianity and following the teachings of Jesus. If one follows the teachings and actions of Muhammed then violence can be justified. Muhammed killed, but Jesus did not.
Oops. I clicked like by accident when I meant to hit reply.
Please read this letter by a prominent Muslim leader regarding the murder: http://www.isna.net/articles/News/RESPONDING-TO-THE-KILLING-OF-AASIYA-HASSAN-AN-OPEN-LETTER-TO-THE-LEADERS-OF-AMERICAN-MUSLI.aspx
You will see that this kind of violence is not sanctioned in Islam.
That is an excellent letter, and the type that more people in responsible positions need to read and believe in. I especially like the way the onus is put on community leaders to believe and support women, and the point that no one in a happy marriage is going to 'pretend their life is in danger'. This idea that domestic violence is just women 'wanting attention' or 'over-reacting' is truly sickening, but I see it more and more.
can you provide verses to back up your point. you may be right, but i'd like to see some specific versus.
I don't think that Christianity is all that much more charitable towards women. Christianity teaches that women should be subservient to their husbands. There's old testament passages where women are offered up to Sodomites for a gang rape.
Modern Christian cultural ideas about abstinence and abortion are disproportionately damaging to women. Christian ideas about sex are problematic. By seeing sex outside of marriage as the ultimate moral wrong Christians miss the point. Rape inside of marriage is not an obvious moral wrong in Christian culture. But consensual sex outside of marriage is! How backwards! Christian ideas about a woman's duty in the marriage bed have stalled conversations about marital rape. Right now, it's not uncommon for people to believe marital rape doesn't exist!
Yes, let's continue to talk about the evils of Christianity! That'll make it easier to deny Islam's treatment of women.
a tragedy. but without knowing what happened when the police responded to the distress calls, we cant assume she was not believed. she may told the officers nothing was wrong when they got there. and short of imprisoning him forever for the domestic abuse, i'm not sure there is much else the police could do. the fault here falls solely on the shoulders of the killer
I see your point, and it's true we don't know what happene with the police when she called them, but respectfully, I have to disagree with your statement that the fault falls solely on the shoulders of the killer. He did this, yes, and he has no excuse and no justification. But when I see that a woman has called police several times for domestic violence and she ends up murdered, there's a story or three that pops up in my mind. There is a systemic problem with domestic violence response by the police almost everywhere in this country. To be sure, some of it is lack of training, but a lot of it is lack of patience and sensitivity.
There is also a huge societal pressure to fix things that go wrong in your relationship; to try and placate your violent husband rather than to call the police on him; ironically enough, there is also contempt and scorn for the women who can't leave, which isolates them even further; there are no beds in the shelters, no means to achieve financial and emotional independence for the first time in your life when your in your mid-forties with little education; there are few counselors, few hotlines, few people to turn to. Not that some don't try, but there's just not enough.
Maybe no one that applies here, maybe some does, maybe all of it does: but there is a larger context to this case. It's part of something huge and horrible that seems like it stretches back forever. It might be religion; he might just be a psycho, I don't know.
I do know that I am 99% certain that the police, in the past, in this case, could have done more. When more details come out, if I'm wrong, I'll eat my words.
While I certainly agree that systemic issues exist regarding the police, they are not necessarily/always from lack of sensitivity. If you read "Layers of Meaning," a study published by the Morrison Report at Arizona State, you'll see that a lot of their frustrations also come from the system itself. They feel they're trapped being law enforcement, prosecution, and judge in these cases because the ball gets dropped at too many places throughout the process. And yes, they become a bit desensitized and there are certainly bad cops, but a lot of them really do care and want to help. They're working the same system we are and they run into similar obstacles. There have been extensive efforts made to train law enforcement, and a lot of those trainings (and the Layers of Meaning study itself) are spearheaded and co-facilitated by cops.
I'm not giving the police a free pass; they're part of the system we are trying to change and I've seen firsthand the results of their... well... incompetence. I'm just saying that we can't write them all off as uncaring when many of them are working beside us to effect change. You're right; without more information, we cannot know where and how the system failed to protect her. I'm sure that it did, but if it was a situation where hands were tied regarding LE involvement, then it's a legislative or judicial issue.
I think there are significant differences between domestic violence and an honor killing. Here is an article that offers persuasive reasons how they are different and how there is something in Islam that justifies honor killings.
The way to address it is for every order of protection to come with an intensive gun use/safety training course tought by the police, a gun with a laser site and a concealed carry permit. Women must be able to protect themselves and not be lulled into thinking society can protect them. This is the great contradiction in the feminist mindset of rejecting self-defense, it feeds into the patriarchy that women need soem authority, usually men, judges, police officers, to protect them. Men who batter are already breaking the law, why do women think that they will obey an OFP? Or that the cops can get there in time if the abuser violates it? I don't usually agree with Andrea Dworkin, but my favorite quote of hers is "maybe if more women killed men, fewer men would kill women." If abusers knew their victims were carrying weapons, and had been given the court's blessing to pretty much shoot on sight if the guy violates the OFP, maybe they'd think twice. At least a woman (and her kids, how ofetn do these guys wipe out the whole family?!) would stand a chance if she has an estranged boyfriend/spouse who is hell bent on killing her.
Studies show that efforts aimed specifically at arming women in the U.S. have not made them safer. Dr. James Scott of George Washington University Hospital reported that more of the guns bought by women for their protection are being turned against them. For every woman who buys a gun to fend off attacks in self-defence, 239 more women are murdered with such weapons, many with their own. (Jeremy Campbell. “Risks to women who buy guns for defense.” Evening Standard/London. August 16, 1994.)
- taken from www.GunControl.ca
Even if the above wasn't true, that "blessing" you're looking for from the courts is never going to happen; the result would be more women in prison for using what would be deemed unnecessary deadly force. Furthermore, the perception of an abuser is that he controls her, so owning a gun isn't going to deter him. More than likely, he'll figure out where she keeps it and make sure he gets to it first. Men who kill their partners are used to using extreme force and violence, the women they abuse aren't necessarily so accustomed.
David Adams of EMERGE in Boston interviewed a group of men convicted of killing their intimate partners. The majority of those who used guns said that they wouldn't have committed the murder if the gun hadn't been available; arming women would probably increase the abuser's access. His book is called "Why Do They Kill?"
Don't get me wrong, I'm all about self-defense. Defend your life; it's worth defending. But making public policy out of putting MORE guns into our society isn't going to solve anything. It never has.
I don't usually agree with Andrea Dworkin, but my favorite quote of hers is "maybe if more women killed men, fewer men would kill women." If abusers knew their victims were carrying weapons, and had been given the court's blessing to pretty much shoot on sight if the guy violates the OFP, maybe they'd think twice. At least a woman (and her kids, how ofetn do these guys wipe out the whole family?!) would stand a chance if she has an estranged boyfriend/spouse who is hell bent on killing her.
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