I'm trying to lose weight. After being informed by several doctors that my weight was impacting my health, I made the decision to lose weight - a significant amount of weight. (I want to be clear that this is about my health; I don't want or mean to imply that overweight people are neccesarily unhealthy or that being thinner means you are automatically healthier. I haven't ever been a very healthy person regardless of my weight, I'm trying to change that, and I want that to be clear to everyone who reads this.)
Weight loss is a touchy subject in the feminist community; posts about weight on Feministing illustrate this regularly. Negative comments include people who are hesitant to accept those who are overweight for fear of - I'm not sure, exactly, unless it's fear that overweight people will somehow become a menace to society, no doubt perpetuated by common myths about being overweight. While these people have good intentions, however misguided and damaging, other people display outright hatred for overweight people, calling them disgusting, a threat to society, and portraying them as people who have no self-control, who could lose weight if they really just tried harder.
In reality, weight loss is tough. Remember that your weight is at least partially genetically determined by your parents' weight, and factor in that when you gain weight, you also gain more fat cells, and that makes it harder to lose weight. Losing weight is usually portrayed by the media as easy and quick, while in reality, there is no quick fix. Yes, there are crash diets, but losing weight rapidly on a crash diet almost guarantees that you'll gain it back just as quickly. The only way to lose weight and keep it off is to make major lifestyle changes and keep them, while slowly losing weight. This is a recipe for frustration and abandonment of goals.
Because we live in a society where the media influences body image, especially in young women, it's necessary to be careful of who we define as overweight. So, I'm going to give you some personal information. About six weeks ago, I weighed in at 190 lbs. I'm about 5"4. I was wearing a size 14-16 in clothing. To some people that probably seems shocking, but to others no doubt it's a familiar story. 50 pounds and one year ago, I was a size 8. I weighed about 140 pounds, although my weight regularly fluctuated 5-10 pounds higher. Then, I was put on a mood stabilizer (Seroquel) by my doctor (I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder a few years ago), and I gained about 20 pounds in 3 months. I went off the medicine, but the weight stayed on. Then, over the next four months, I gained about 30 pounds, partly from stress eating and partly from depression and lack of energy to exercise. Now, I weigh about 175 lbs. My clothing is looser, my knee and back pain are gone, and I have more energy. I'm happier with my body, although I wish I were accepted and considered beautiful no matter what my size.
If it were purely a matter of health, than I wouldn't feel the need to write this. But it's not. People have told me I'm thinner, complimented my recent weight loss; they have also made hurtful comments about my body, as if I am public property and they have rights to my body. They still make comments. Some of the comments are disguised as being helpful, as if I could possibly be unaware of my weight and appearance. These are more hurtful than the malicious, cruel ones, perhaps because they are cleverly disguised as concern. I want this to be about my health , but other people insist on making it about my appearance .
So where do I go from here? My weight loss goal is 50 pounds, or to be back at about 140 pounds, to be back down to a healthy weight and a healthy BMI. My other goals include eating healthier and exercising on a regular basis, and improving my overall health. I want to also be able to tell people that it's none of their damn business what I weigh, that I am beautiful anyway, that my body does not exist for other people's viewing pleasure. I want this to be about my health and happiness, not other people's ideas of what's acceptable for a woman to look like.
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Thank you for this. People's determination to make weight loss only about appearance is horrifying. I know I'm not the only person who, on suffering a serious health problem, constantly heard even from people who knew the circumstances how great I looked since I'd lost so much weight. I was in the middle of a high risk pregnancy and had lost 25 pounds, malnourishing myself while all my reserves went to the fetus. But thanks, while I'm praying to sustain the pregnancy, it's totally worth it as long as I look good. I've heard similar stories from women with cancer, as though dropping a couple dress sizes is a silver lining worth chemo and fear of death.
I'm not sure if you're asking about how to cope with rude people or how to reach your goals, but your post did make me think of one thing.
Since you're focusing on health, I suggest (and, of course, your mileage may vary) focusing on strength. Weight lifting is a great form of exercise that isn't about numbers except when you notice that the number of pounds you can lift goes up - which is a fantastic feeling. I've had people warn me that muscles aren't feminine, that my weight will go up because muscle weighs more than fat, etc etc., and I have to resist the urge to yell at them. I can never figure out why they're concerned for me that I won't look as feminine as they think I should. It has great health benefits and it feels powerful - which makes me happy, I look forward going to the gym instead of dreading it.
And if someone says something backhanded like, "You look so much better now than you did before," it provides the great oppotunity to say something like, "More importantly, I'm so much stronger than before."
I definitely understand where you're coming from. but personally, I find muscular bodies amazingly beautiful. I'm very attracted to ideas of strength and power, probably because as a woman I'm told I'm weaker and less than.
I agree completely. Not to say that small bodies are unattractive, but I'm the kind of person that likes to show off my work, and for me, that means becoming more muscular. I used to argue with people when they spewed the usually bullshit "muscles aren't feminine"...now I just roll my eyes at them...even though they're usually my close friends...but they'll understand in time that it's my body and I'll do whatever I want despite society's bullshit standards, and if they don't, then they're obviously not that great friends lol.
Yes. Focusing on strength is awesome, and definitely makes you feel powerful, instead of deprived like counting calories can.
I wear about a 16 today and weigh 220. Three years ago, when I lived in California, I trained horses professionally. I was a 10 and weighed 160, which is probably as "small" as I can go at 5'11" with a big "manly" frame. Recently I helped my brother move and it left me worn out and out of breath. I used to feel bad about being "fat", but now instead of missing how much thinner I was, I miss how strong I was. I rode all day and helped heft 50lb bales and bags of grain. I was STRONG. Now I work from home on loan documents.
I decided instead of counting calories I'd eat healthier food whenever I was hungry until I felt satisfied. I let my body dictate when/how much to eat, instead of eating more because it's good, or because it's dinner time. I picked up one horse to train, so I ride several times a week, which means I can do what I love and get exercise without obsessing about weight loss. Also, I love my dogs, so instead of just letting them exercise themselves we take a nice walk twice a day. I don't know if I have lost any weight because I avoid the scale, but I feel happier, stronger, and more energetic. And that should be victory regardless of our size. :D
I just read my post and it kinda sounds like I was being superior about the food thing. I understand that I have the luxury of being self-employed, so I have access to healthier food whenever I need it. I also understand that many people have 30 minute lunch breaks and have fewer food options. I have been there! I worked at Home Depot for a while, and I had to run out to Burger King on my break regardless of whether I was hungry because I knew it was the only chance I had to eat for the rest of the shift. Then I was so hungry and tired after my shift that I had no energy to cook and I would eat fast food again, usually overeating because I was so hungry. I feel your pain, shift workers. :(
Thanks for bringing up a totally important point Amanduh (BTW, I didn't think you sounded arrogant). It takes time, money, and lack of stress to eat right, exercise, lose weight and maintain a lower weight.
Like the original poster I'm also larger than average, and I also have recently started to try to lose weight for a specific health condition. But for me, I have also suffered for years from terrible body image and hurtful self-hatred based on my appearance. And I get so very angry when I see discussion about weight with absolutely no acknowledgement of environment factors.
Yes, Americans are much heavier than Europeans, for example. But Europeans have much healthier environments. They regularly work much shorter hours, have much more vacation time, live within walking distance of excellent public transportation, go to restaurants that serve fresher food in smaller portions, take long lunch breaks when they can walk around, have better funded public schools with great gyms and exercise equipment, etc. (i've lived there, this is not just propaganda).
Just wanted to thank everyone here for the great discussion.
Whereas I and most Americans have long work days, no choice but to drive for long work commutes ( 2 1/2 hours for me each day), no lunch breaks or 1/2 hour, no access to fresh food restaurants and such long days that making lunch is just too much, as is cooking a fresh dinner, less time to walk and exercise. And I know this is the weakest excuse, but I find it very hard to go against all that parental upbringing to "not waste food" and "clean my plate". I swear I would pay extra to get served smaller portions at restaurants.
I'm losing some weight to alleviate a health issue. But despite that it's still really important to me what the original poster says about size and beauty and body image. Losing some weight is not going to solve my body image issues. And it's also really important to me to talk about how it's not all a "personal" issue about portion control or self-control, but also a class/environment/labor issue about things that are out of our individual control like commuting and work hours.
I agree that strength training is the way to go. There are so many reasons why it is a good idea (most mentioned here).
My favorite web site for female weight training is http://www.stumptuous.com -- I highly recommend checking it out. The hilarious feminist who writes it really knows her stuff! She underscores the fact that women do not "get huge" from weight lifting (most women do not have enough testosterone to gain significant bulk). I can confirm that as I use pretty heavy weights and am by no measure huge and manly. Instead, I've gotten leaner and stronger with out having to deprive myself of food.
Thanks for that link! It looks like a great site, I will have to explore it more when I get home from work.
I came here specifically to recommend stumptuous.com, but I'm glad to see someone else got there before me! The few women that get into lifting weights seem to fall into the trap of low weights and high reps (and many personal trainers only further this idea). Stumptuous is a no-bullshit, factual resource that cuts through so many of the gendered and general fitness myths.
I have been meaning to incorporate some strength training into my exercise; being muscular doesn't bother me, so I'm definitely going to try it.
Wow, that site looks fan-fucking-tastic. Thanks for the link!
Hi i just wanted to say thankyou for this comment. as someone in recovery from anorexia who still struggles it is really helpful to hear about a form of exersise that can move away from whittling down numbers. how nice to imagine having a strong healthy body!
Great post. Good luck on your journey! People often confuse overweight for unhealthy and thin for healthy, but NEWSFLASH some skinny people never work and have crappy cardiovascular health. I also read a study somewhere that people who lose weight through diet and exercise are healthier than those that use diet alone. The "just-dieters" had more internal fat, which is apparently no good. For reasons that slip my mind... d'oh!
That internal fat is known as visceral fat. It's fat within your abdomen (as opposed to subcutaneous fat, which is what is visible/feelable under your skin). It can crowd your abdominal organs and if I recall correctly, it can have adverse effects on how your body processes glucose in a way subcutaneous fat doesn't.
Not everyone will suffer adverse effects, of course; it's just more of a risk.
I think, unfortunately, that no one will ever stop making your situation about whatever they think matters. You care about health. They point out your appearance. They're not on the same planet and they're not likely to land on this one, the one you're on, anytime soon.
Maybe we should start a snarky comeback contest for lines to convey the thought you express so well, and that we all share here at feministing.com: "my body does not exist for other people's viewing pleasure"
- Excuse me? I missed the sign that says I exist for you to look at
- Is that right? And what exactly do you, yourself, intend to do about your hairline/those teeth of yours/your knobby knees/the cheap wardrobe/______
Let's hear more :)
I like that. People can be such hypocrites.
when you gain weight, you also gain more fat cells
This is only partially true. Fat cells develop during childhood. A child who gains more fat will grow more fat cells, but once that child reaches adulthood, the number of fat cells is set. Adults who gain more fat expand the fat cells they already have, but do not grow new ones.
I realize this is not at all the point of this post, but want to clarify that the number of fat cells can increase in adults. I hate to post so off-topic, but am just a nerdy scientist obsessed with the facts.
I guess I need to start checking my facts more. I read it in an article about healthy weight loss, so I assumed it was true.
AngryFeminist_16 -- You are correct. You do gain more fat cells as you gain weight. Maybe I misunderstood, but I thought others were telling you that you were wrong. Anyway, enough of this very minor point.
I have so much respect for you for writing about this very personal topic. Please don't let anyone discourage you from doing what you know is best for yourself.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18454136
1: Nature. 2008 Jun 5;453(7196):783-7. Epub 2008 May 4.Click here to read
Dynamics of fat cell turnover in humans.
Spalding KL, Arner E, Westermark PO, Bernard S, Buchholz BA, Bergmann O, Blomqvist L, Hoffstedt J, Näslund E, Britton T, Concha H, Hassan M, Rydén M, Frisén J, Arner P.
Department of Cell and Molecular Biology, Karolinska Institute, SE-171 77 Stockholm, Sweden. kirsty.spalding@ki.se
Obesity is increasing in an epidemic manner in most countries and constitutes a public health problem by enhancing the risk for cardiovascular disease and metabolic disorders such as type 2 diabetes. Owing to the increase in obesity, life expectancy may start to decrease in developed countries for the first time in recent history. The factors determining fat mass in adult humans are not fully understood, but increased lipid storage in already developed fat cells (adipocytes) is thought to be most important. Here we show that adipocyte number is a major determinant for the fat mass in adults. However, the number of fat cells stays constant in adulthood in lean and obese individuals, even after marked weight loss, indicating that the number of adipocytes is set during childhood and adolescence. To establish the dynamics within the stable population of adipocytes in adults, we have measured adipocyte turnover by analysing the integration of 14C derived from nuclear bomb tests in genomic DNA. Approximately 10% of fat cells are renewed annually at all adult ages and levels of body mass index. Neither adipocyte death nor generation rate is altered in early onset obesity, suggesting a tight regulation of fat cell number in this condition during adulthood. The high turnover of adipocytes establishes a new thera
http://www.nature.com/news/2008/080505/full/news.2008.800.html
Fat cell numbers stay constant through adult life
Even serious weight loss doesn't reduce your overall number of fat-holding cells.
Michael Hopkin
The number of fat cells in your body remains constant throughout your adult life, a new study has found. The discovery suggests that the process of weight gain may be fundamentally different in adults and in children.
Yay! I'm going through the same thing right now. I haven't lost any weight, yet, but my reasoning is for health. I also just can't afford to keep buying clothes in bigger sizes. Nothing fits me right now and it's frustrating. I want to be a healthy and active person. I realized the other day that instead of just thinking about what I want, I have to work to become what I want. I could have the body I want if I just worked out, so that's what I'm doing.
Thank you for trusting us enough to share such personal information! I'm sure a lot of us can relate to it (I know I do). It's great that you are trying to become healthier and stronger, but if someone is trying to undermine that noble goal by assuming it's superficial, it's well within your rights to point out to them that you loved yourself at 190 and will continue to no matter what you weigh!
Honestly, don't try losing weight. It's an impossible battle, and is far more likely to ruin your health than fix it. Your doctor does *not* necessarily have your health in mind, nor does s/he necessarily know what she's talking about. I don't want to be all, "I know better than doctors" but, there's a long history of doctors telling their patients to lose weight even when they're unhealthy.
If you've got unhealthy habits, please do fix those, but if you frame your desires in losing weight your likely to be disappointed: very few people actually manage to lose any significant amount of weight, and most gain it back and more, along with the nasty side-effects that come with dieting. You might drop all the weight and stay down--it depends on where your body wants to be, but a lot of people stop at 10 pounds (the weight they were carrying as a result of bad habits), get discouraged, and ditch their healthy habits.
I don't mean to be a big downer, but dieting is about the biggest lie our society gets fed. If you're supposed to be skinny, you will be, your body wants to go back to it's programmed state, fat or skinny. If you're not, attempting to be is only going to end in frustration.
Some good resources:
http://www.healthateverysize.info/
http://kateharding.net/ (definitely click on "Don't You Realize Fat is Unhealthy?")
Both websites have links to further resources
You are just wrong. I manged to gain, and then lose, 35 pounds. It was hard. But after I lost the weight, I was in better shape, I can run faster, lift more, and I have more energy. My numbers were better. I put 17 of the pounds back, after I got married and proceeded to match my (large, weight-lifting, running husband) bite for bite, but I will be able to take them off through eating healthfully after the baby is born.
It can be done. It is really, really, hard. And changing his diet/losing weight brought one friend back from being a borderline type II diabetic, and helped my dad deal with his back problems. The OP, if you bothered to read her post, mentioned that her joint pain is already subsiding. That is fantastic. And in her case, the initial weight gain was due to meds. and depression, both of which are different from people who are at there so-called set point. (BTW, I don't believe in a set point.)
Focusing on the weight loss rather than health is always problematic. If you'd really read my post, rather than having the kneejerk "But I did it!" response, you would see that I said it is possible. You clearly are one of the skinny people whose body wanted to be skinny, so you made it. That doesn't work for a lot of people. What worked for your diabetic friend is becoming healthy, not becoming skinny. Weight loss does not mean health, and trying to become skinny is not the same as trying to become healthy.
This whole "It's hard work but you can do it" is so fat-phobic and unhelpful. The people who failed to lose weight were trying really hard, too. It's just that some bodies absolutely do not want to be skinny.
Actually, I think you specifically said "it's an impossible battle."
"Honestly, don't try losing weight. It's an impossible battle, and is far more likely to ruin your health than fix it."
This is what I take exception to.
And my position, that it is REALLY hard work, but possible, is not fat-phobic. I am not saying that everyone should go out and lose weight, even if "society" says you are at an unhealthy weight. I am saying that for those who choose to, it is possible. There is a reason thermodynamics is a law of physics. It is also much, much harder to do than most people realize or acknowledge. But to anyone who wants to lose weight, particularly because they think it will make their lives better, I want to encourage them because this is a journey they have chosen, and I want to let them know that it is possible.
I am also not a skinny person. Even after I lost 35 pounds no one would call me skinny. Even if I were a skinny person, I really don't see that invalidating what I went through. My Aunt is a "skinny person" even though she was once well over 200 pounds.
Allow me to reiterate. It can be done. It is really, really hard. For some people, the discomfort and deprivation of losing weight isn't balanced out by any other improvements in health or well-being, such that it is not worth it. That is totally, totally, fine, and no one should be judged based on their conformity or lack thereof. But with my blood sugar, joint, and other health issues it is worth it to me.
Sure, it can be done. I've done it. I know others who've done it also. But I think nightingale's point is that for most people, significant weight loss is not sustainable. Multiple studies now suggest that it's better to remain fat than to be fat, lose weight, regain the weight, lose more weight, etc... It's not the weight, per se, that contributes to many weight-related health issues, but rather the constant yo-yo dieting and weight cycling that is to blame.
For some people, the discomfort and deprivation of losing weight isn't balanced out by any other improvements in health or well-being, such that it is not worth it.
Are you suggesting that people who try diet after diet and even weight loss surgery and yet are still unsuccessful in losing and/or maintaining a weight loss is because they just don't want it badly enough? That the only reason they fail is because the "hard work" of weight loss is just not "worth it" to them? How offensive.
I read that as saying that losing weight can be so difficult that for some people the costs outweigh the benefits. Which is not at all offensive, and I'm not sure how you reached that conclusion.
It's a good idea to read something closely before you decide it's offensive.
We read the same comment differently. The difference is that I asked the commenter to clarify her statement. No need for snarkiness on your behalf.
First, I entirely agree with you that yo-yo dieting is very harmful. That is a really good point, and underscores how people who want to make changes do not need to diet so much as to change their diet into one that gives them the nutrients they need and the calories they need. I am not saying this is easy.
But, with regard to everyone being able to lose weight, I want to be very clear about this. All people in concentration camps get thin, so do all people put in situations where their caloric intake is controlled by someone else, who keeps it below the amount necessary to maintain their current weight.
Like I said, thermodynamics IS a law of physics.
Do I recommend weight loss for anyone? Nope--this is something that should be an individual choice, and one that I would hope was informed by legitimate health concerns, not the ridiculous body image standards of our culture. And do I think 1200 calorie per day diets are a great idea for everyone? Nope. Do I recognize that weight loss does not improve everyone's health, and can actually be harmful? Yep. Do I recognize the difficulty of people who are poor, sedentary, or have genetic or other health issues to eat a diet that is both (1) healthy and (2) restricts calories? Absolutely. (And when I say difficulty, I realize that for many poor people, it can be virtually IMPOSSIBLE to afford or even obtain the type of food that makes healthy weight loss practicable.)
But see again, thermodynamics. Yes, peoples' metabolisms do vary, but at the end of the day, one cannot put on weight if one is eating fewer calories than needed to sustain the body's operaton. Period, full stop, etc.
PS--I do all KINDS of freaking unhealthy things. We all do. Some "vices" are even more unhealthy for me (i.e., smoking. Because of a blood clotting disorder in my family, my smoking or using hormonal contraceptives is WAY more dangerous than it is for the average person). And some people smoke all of their lives and never have problems. So when discussing all of these things, I want to make it VERY CLEAR that I do not think that any one person is a "better" person because they manage to make changes that they think will improve their health. That absolutely DOES NOT MEAN that another person who does not make those same changes is imperiling their health. And even if they were, that doesn't make them a bad person. We all decide what risks we want to take in this world, the same behavior can be higher risk for some than for others, there is a lot we do not know, blah, blah.
What I meant to do here was support the OP's choice to do something that seems to be improving her health, and to let others who are thinking about the same thing that it can be done but that it is harder than you might think.
The fact that metabolism can slow drastically complicates things though. I used to be anorexic and the first time I started starving myself the weight fell off. However, after putting the weight on by eating healthy amounts and then relapsing back into starving myself and repeating this cycle several times I found that I was barely eating anything on an average day and not losing weight after the initial 10 pounds (we're talking around 250 cals a day here) and when I did "splurge" on a day and eat 500 I was gaining weight! I had all the negative side effects of starvation such as lack of energy, depression, heart murmurs, etc. except for the weight loss. The fact that I could not lose weight by starving myself anymore was actually one of the main reasons I have been better for years now. I realized I had to stop starving myself or it was going to make me fat. At the point I was at during that final starvation episode, to lose any more weight (and I was not skinny) I would essentially have had to stop eating entirely. That is why if you stuck me in a starvation camp now I would drop an initial 10 pounds, and maybe even slowly lose another five or 10 but after that I believe that my weight loss would stall and I would likely die before I got truly skinny unless I was literally being fed nothing at all. I also think that when people talk about the possibility or impossibility of losing weight that they are also taking into consideration whether it is sustainable. If it requires eating so little food that you can't survive then I am sticking it in the "impossible" category.
Wow, that's really intense, I've had friends who've managed to come out on the other side of eating disorders, and I am really glad that you did too.
Some of the weight gain you experienced may have had to do with differential fluid retention--being preggers I can tell you all about that. Also, it is true that your metabolism does slow under extreme circumstances. Part of it is that people who are on starvation diets lose muscle mass so their metabolism is lower, but that probably does not explain it at all. My husband is really into body modification, and the nutritionists he tends to admire advocate what are called "structured refeeds," to prevent the metabolism drop that accompanies hypocaloric intake.
Yes, peoples' metabolisms do vary, but at the end of the day, one cannot put on weight if one is eating fewer calories than needed to sustain the body's operaton.
In theory, yes, but this is not true for all people. When I was in recovery from anorexia, I gained weight at a much faster rate than I would normally would with a similar caloric intake and expenditure of calories. And there are many other health conditions in which unexplained weight gain -- that is, weight gain despite a healthy diet and regular exercise -- is a symptom: Thyroid deficiencies, syndrome X, metabolic syndrome, PCOS, Cushing's Syndrome, insulin resistance, hyperinsulinemia are just to name a few. The fact is that researchers have only just begun to scratch the surface on body weight (at least 250 genes have been identified as being involved in weight) and there exists no effective data on how to make and keep a fat person thin.
I am hearing you, I really am, but even metabolic differences and thyroid issues can only go so far. They can go really far, compared to other people who do not have those medical issues (and people with inefficient metabolisms)-- but in the long run, thermodynamics cannot be beat. That does not mean people should just diet, though.
For someone with serious medical issues that lead to weight that they feel is unhealthy (whether they are overweight or underweight compared to what would be a healthy weight for them) I would NEVER suggest that they should just eat less or eat more. In that context, particularly because of different nutritional needs they might have because of their medical condition, I think the only answer is for them to talk to a doctor regarding the medical condition first, and perhaps regarding the overweight/underweight issue, if they and their doctor feels that it effects their health.
But most overweight people, like me, are overweight when we intake more then we need to sustain our bodies. For those of us, the suggestions that apply are ones made by the OP and others on this thread who've managed to recomp. their bodies in a way that they feel is better for them. That doesn't mean that everyone needs to recomp. their bodies, but if that is a given person's goal, and they don't have any other medical issues, then this is all solid advice.
Yeah, okay.
Anorexia is not normal weight loss. Not all weight loss is anorexia. You're using a very special case to argue against the very general concept of weight loss--hell, you're using anorexia to try and argue against thermodynamics. I won't get into the science, that's been done here--I'm just pointing out that, from a rhetorical strategies point of view... the anorexia argument is silly.
And yes, yes, for the record... anorexia? Been there, done that, personally been done with it for many years; I'm a runner now instead. Hooray. So I'm not harshing on the experience, but, seriously--weight loss generally is not comparable to SOME instances of anorexia.
The example of anorexia was used simply as that, an example. It was used not as an "argument against weight loss" but as just one case in which weight loss is not as simple and cut and dried as people like to make it. I don't think that that is "silly". A less extreme version would be people who go on very low cal diets and see their weight loss come to a halt before they lose all the weight they would like to because of a slowed metabolism. In that case, a less drastic cutting of calories may be the answer. However, perhaps there are also other factors beyond decisions made by the individual which factor in and complicate things or make weight loss not a viable option for some overweight individuals. I repeat, SOME. My point is that weight loss is lot more than calories out vs calories in though that is a part of it. As for me, I didn't share my story because I was looking for sympathy (which something about the tone of your post suggests) or making the arguments that you are leaping to the conclusion that I made.
I completely agree that weight is not a great indicator of health, and that diets don't really work.
My weight has fluctuated over the years due to pregnancy, medications, etc...but always seems to end up around the same weight. I've been exercising for the last 6 months more than I ever have in my life, but my weight has not changed significantly. (I'm at the very top of what is "normal weight" for my height.) So I totally believe that my body has this weight programmed in to it, and I'm happy with it the way it is.
However, in the original post, she stated that she gained the weight because of a medication.
I'd say that's not her body going to it's "programmed state", and it could be unhealthy. Something was introduced from the oustide that made her weight go up, and it seems reasonable to try to undo that. A sudden weight gain from a medication is different than a body that tends to that weight on it's own.
Yes, I did begin to gain weight because of medication. My original weight was healthier, but because of unhealthy habits I gained even more weight. I'm not sure what my body would weigh if I had healthier habits, so I'm trying to find out.
nightingale, being supportive of those with health issues who want to feel better is not fat-phobic. I mean, to use a more serious example, would you tell a person with a genetic predisposition to cancer that they should just give up and let the cancer kill them, since chances are they will die anyway? It's not like she wants to fit into a smaller size of jeans, this is her health! Getting to a healthy weight not about trying hard, it's about trying hard enough, which means different things for different people. Trying hard enough for my fiance means going to the gym a couple times a week and getting all his vitamins. For me, it's arduous excercise once a day and a healthy, carefully portioned diet. And for my father, a type-II diabetic, it's no sugar, no white flour, no potatoes, a carefully regimented diet and intense regular exercise to attempt to get his weight down before he loses all feeling in his feet. For some people (clearly, including you), trying hard enough for their body seems impossible, and it's never worth it to fit into a dress, but when you're like my father and it's try hard enough or go blind, or like my sister and it's try hard enough or never have children, suddenly nothing seems to be too much effort.
But I think part of nightingale's point was that the OP should focus on being healthy (which would entail avoiding foods that mess with your blood sugar levels if you're diabetic, etc) rather than losing the weight. Having a healthy lifestyle and engaging in enough of the right balance of physical activities will make you fit, but it will never make some people thin. SO in this case, separating out "thin" from "healthy" or "fit" is a very useful approach.
(this is directed to the OP)
These are fantastic resources and I mostly agree with nightingale here.
Instead of focusing on a "healthy" weight, just focus on changing your habits and living a healthy lifestyle.
There are more and more studies (like this one: http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=1398519) that come out and say, "okay, maybe it's more about lifestyle (eating and exercise habits) than about actual weight, though weight can be a symptom of lifestyle."
By focusing on your habits and making them healthier, yes, you may lose weight, especially since you were once a thinner person. But weight loss shouldn't be the goal or the measurement of your health. Your strength, your resting heart rate, your blood pressure and cholesterol, etc, should be the indicators of your health, and those will all improve with better eating and exercise habits.
Basically, I agree with Liza's last paragraph. Definitely ignore BMI. It says nothing about health.
Um.
"It's an impossible battle."
Um.
That word.
Impossible.
I do not think it means what you think it means.
And, personally, I kick way more ass at 115 than I did at 155. More muscle, less fat, more speed, more endurance, more energy. Part of that is working out, and part of that is just from lugging less weight around. Jeez. I know we all want to sound/be empowered and stuff, but let's not be totally ridiculous. IMPOSSIBLE?! People do it all the time. Sometimes even safely and long term!
I'm tired and feeling snarky, so I'm tempted to say that what is impossible for YOU may not be impossible for ME... but that sounds kinda hateful. What I mean is that I find the "OMG! don't lose weight! impossible! unhealthy!" reactionary dogma just as tiresome and insulting as I find the "OMG! MUST LOSE MORE WEIGHT!" ruling dogma. Let's be better than that.
Poster wants to be healthier, and losing a reasonable amount of weight is going to be part of that. Have you TRIED running at overweight vs. running at "normal" weight?
I just want to point out that the NUMBER of fat cells never changes (unless you get liposuction), the cells only get bigger and smaller.
It's true that we are all born with a predetermined amount of fat cells, which swell and deflate with weight loss or gain. However, the AD-36 and 35 strains of adenovirus* multiply within the fat cells, increasing their overall number. A greater proportion of overweight and obese people were found to have been infected by this virus at some point in their lives in comparison to control groups.
Interestingly, this phenomenon was discovered when researchers at a bio lab put on weight after becoming accidentally infected with the adenovirus that they were working with.
*Which the media has rather ridiculously dubbed the "fat virus".
This post really got me thinking. Reactions to overweight people is perplexing to me, and that includes my own. One of my best friends is significantly overweight and, while I'm concerned about her health problems and the toll her weight takes on her self-esteem, I have no problems with it and never think negatively about her because of her weight.
But that is not always true for strangers. I am ashamed to admit that I sometimes do think rather mean things about overweight people. And I do this all while getting up in arms about how women are valued basedon their appearance.
When I look closely at myself I come to realize that it is most likely my own negative body image that fuels my disdain. I am not "fat," but I am overweight in this society. (I'm 5' 7", 155 lbs.)
It just goes to show that our societies intense focus on appearance and weight can manifest itself in a number of ways we don't even think about. If I can't accept my own body image, then I suppose it's not all that unusual that I think negatively about others. I notice this in my sister, as well. She is in extremely good shape and is very into staying that way. She is also one of the most critical people I have ever met. I really think it is rooted in her own insecurities. (Which I know exist given her obsession with looking better.)
Getting "in shape" for health is one thing, but the real answer to prejudice, I think, is accepting everyone despite their "flaws." Starting with ourselves.
Just wanted to point out that someone at 5'7" and 155 lbs has a BMI of 24.3 which is in the "normal weight" category, and not considered overweight.
I'm aware of that, but I suppose my point is if I were a celebrity I'd be all over the tabloids with "fat" written everywhere. It just goes to show that even with a "normal" BMI I feel overweight by societal standards. I really think it is intolerence with ourselves and our own perceived imperfections that contributes to our intolerence with others.
It's really unfortunate, but I just wanted the poster to be aware that the problem is (duh) with those who are prejudiced. We're so f-ed up from our unrealistic ideas of weight.
You know, I was just thinking to myself "gah! I'm so sick of hearing about weight loss!" so I came to feministing, where I thought I'd be safe.
The irony.
Agreed.
Sorry about that. I do feel that it's a feminist issue worthy of discussion.
It is so refreshing to hear someone else say exactly how I have been feeling. I had a significant weight gain after going on birth control, and after discontuing use and going into a darker period, i suddenly (and very quickly and unhealthily) lost almost 40 pounds. And while I was worrying how I was going to pay for pants that would not fall off and how to keep myself healthy (nourished) enough, everyone around me was commenting on how much "better" i looked. I had felt a little self conscious about my weight gain, but I felt infinitely more embarrassed about my weight loss.
it is exactly how you put it, becoming "public property." it made me feel helpless and confused and completely ashamed of both how i looked before and currently. like neither were good enough.
I would say, keep your chin up and be proud of yourself. it is basically like anything else--fuck those idiots who are trying to lay claim to your body! just by making a decision to try to be healthier you are reinforcing your own hold on your body. and honestly, i think it makes a lot of sense to tell people how rude they are being when they talk about your weight as if it is their business.
you are so brave and strong just for deciding to make a change that illicits these types of remarks. and, cheesey as it is, i'm really proud of you and hope things work out!
You say that "I want this to be about my health and happiness, not other people's ideas of what's acceptable for a woman to look like."
I completely agree with this attitude. I just think that so many women (consciously or not) believe that their appearance is the defining characteristic of their life. Therefore, to them it is natural that the driving force motivating any weight loss must always be the pressure to emulate the modern ideal of beauty.
Our superficial society promotes the beauty ideal over happiness, strength, and mental and physical health.
Then again, I suppose that society projects these qualities onto the women who fit the beauty ideal.
Precisely. I'm 5'11" 220 lbs, and my brother is 6' and 160. My doctor advises me to exercise, tells me my BMI is morbidly obese (which is laughable). My brother's doctor never advises him to exercise, because he's thin as a bean pole. Never would they guess that he's the one eating at Long John Silver's three times a day while I eat lentils and rice.
They assume he's healthy because he's thin.
Someone should start a project where we collect photos of "morbidly obese" people as defined by BMI. I have some extra cushion on my lower belly, arms, and thighs but morbidly obese?? Pssh. http://www.myspace.com/gazongaa
People seemed to assume I had put on weight due to eating, but I don't eat fast food EVER, or cakes, pies, sweets, cookies or chips. Oh might have the occasional treat, but I eat healthy. My body due to age, and lifestyle wants to be larger than it was, and I decided I am not going to kill myself to make it otherwise. If we are healthy and the weight isn't causing health problems then so be it.
Actually, somebody did start that project: The BMI Project
Personally, I believe in Health at Every Size and don't necessarily think that fat or weight in and of itself is any problem. I'm willing to bet that pretty much anyone feels good when they are somewhat active and eat a variety of foods, and that a big part of feeling better is in those actions and the body becoming stronger with weight loss (sometimes) happening as a result. Just depends on who you are.
But then I don't think that "health," however you define it, is any kind of moral issue and I don't really think other peoples' bodies are my business.
I was just coming here to link there, so glad that someone else did too! :)
Awesome!! Thanks for the link.
And I'm not trying to say that anyone else's health is my issue, just that BMI is ridiculous. The factors that go into being healthy are so varied there's no way one can know another person's healthiness, and that's what BMI tries to do.
Oh, I didn't mean to imply that you had--I just feel that when it comes to discussion of peoples' philosophies on bodies and health I need to put that disclaimer in. So many times what people seem to mean when they talk about what they do and think about health is, "Here's what you should be doing" and that's not a statement I want to make.
Can I just say, I went to your myspace profile and you are absolutely gorgeous! We all are-- and thank you for being so brave; I'm in much of the same situation as you and seeing your courage, acceptance and beauty is inspiring! Just wanted to let you know (though, I do know that I'm pretty stalkerish for actually going! :) )
LOL! It's not stalkerish! I put the link so people could compare my photos to my BMI.
I used to be insecure about my size. It doesn't help that I am so tall either--finding clothes is a challenge. It's taken some time, but I love me for me and anyone who tries to make me feel less than perfect gets a big fuck you. I think it's important to talk about our bodies the way they are without shame. Maybe it'll start a chain reaction and make others feel good too.
Not sure why weight discussion should be an issue on a feminist board unless it is based on reaching some false ideal. However like you said this is about health. I found regular walking, eating breakfast and a couple of healthy snacks between meals (keeps your metabolism up) really helped. THe suggestion for strength training is excellent idea and one I should back into. thanks for sharing the link alixana.
I'm not sure why weight discussion should NOT be on a feminist board. It's an issue many women deal with daily, an issue tied up in cultural expectations/value of female bodies and body image, and ultimately something which is very political for women.
What do you suggest feminists talk about?
I posted this because, as a feminist, I feel that weight shouldn't matter, but it does sometimes, and I wanted to discuss it.
I completely agree with you!
Agreed. Hardly any of the comments are even feminism related, people are just having kneejerk reactions...
I must admit, I've always been conscious of the way I look because I've always evaluated myself based on what other people think of me. I'm finally at a point in my life where I've decided to quit worrying about what other people think and start focusing solely on what I want.
But I completely understand what you're going through. I was so obsessed with what people though of me that I did everything unhealthy to lose weight. I starved myself, used diet pills, laxatives, and for awhile binged and purged almost every single day. The funny thing was, at the most unhealthy point in my life, people were complimenting me like crazy. And now since I've gained weight from that point I often feel that people think "if you could only look like what you used to." But little do they know that I was literally killing myself to be thin. I hate how there is so much emphasis on looking a certain way.
I wish you luck with everything and hope you can reach that point in your life where you are happy and healthy...for yourself!!
You're right, it's no one's business what you weigh but your own...I did want to mention though, that the BMI is not an accurate system for measuring weight in relation to health, as it was NOT designed for womens bodies. The BMI system was based on a (I do not remember the specific details here, anyone?) 5-6 foot tall MAN.
Love yourself, nourish your body. One of the most helpful books I've ever read on food, feminism and body image issues is "Sex and Bacon" by Sarah Katherine Lewis, I can't recommend it enough.
since you're losing weight for health, let me share this interesting tid bit with u. maybe someone else has written this but i didn't read all the comments.
research shows that a healthy diet with exercise (with the goal of reducing weight) improves all kinds of health indicators, regardless of whether you actually lost weight or not. so don't judge yourself just by the scale. it is a good indicator of your success but some people have a much harder time losing weight than others. so even if the scale doesn't show weight loss you're still going to be in better health.
good luck.
To be a bit more accurate, lifestyle changes when directed toward losing weight (aka dieting) improve health indicators over the short term. Over timelines over two years, after most weight loss studies have finished, these benefits disappear in groups focused on losing weight. These subjects also have almost universally gained back the weight they lost while eating the same number of calories as during their weight loss period.
I worry about my own weight as regards my health because I have skin irritation from chafing where the fat rolls over a little, and my bad knees struggle to support my weight. I know I am unhealthy at my current weight. I'm trying to lose weight by healthy eating and excercise (never fall for the diet fads, just eat healthy!).
The thing is, I am actually within the doctor's "normal" range and everyone tells me I'm not unhealthy, just a little pudgy, so while I should maybe do more cardio I don't need to work on losing fat. Well, it's MY body, and I know I need to lose fat in order to correct the specific issues I have. Your doctor can advise you if you have a specific health concern that is impacted by weight but in the end, you know your body and you know what you need to feel better. So if people feel the need to say, you aren't unhealthy, weight is not a factor in health, you don't need to lose weight-- ignore them, just like you ignore those who try to make it about appearance.
I also agree with feministinmississippi-- it's not the numbers! In fact, I recommend avoiding scales all together. You'll see the effects in how you feel, and if you exercise the muscle could be replacing the fat in a proportionate amount so that the scale seems to indicate you're not improving.
Dealing with the (bipolar or otherwise) depression medication "game" is so frustrating. I wish you luck in recovering from your meds.
I don't think I fully realized just how screwed up society was on the weight loss/attractiveness point until I was a sophomore in high school. I had a really bad case of pneumonia in both lungs, landing me in the hospital for a week. I was sick for about a month, gradually eating less and less from the beginning of my illness, until I stopped eating altogether for about a week because I just couldn't keep food down (I was hooked up to an iv though).
When I FINALLY was well enough to go back to school, I was shocked that so many of my (female) classmates complimented me on how much weight I'd lost and how good my figure looked. Now, I'm fairly petite all over, and genetically have a fairly speedy metabolism, so not only did the comments come as a shock to me (My weight was socially acceptable beforehand; not to mention how insensitive do you have to be to make that comment to someone who's just been in the hospital?), but they didn't understand why I did not feel complimented.
Is our society really screwed up that someone's weight after they've been hospitalized is considered desirable?
I wish I had more suggestions instead of just an anecdote that proves your point, but I'm afraid I don't have anything more enlightening to say than what's already been said. I agree with Feministinmississippi though; eating healthily and exercising, regardless of visible weight results, can also make you feel better overall in terms of energy and mood (as I'm sure you've probably noticed already). So even if the weight doesn't come off right away, it's not for naught.
That is so, so true. I got positive comments on how I looked once after I HAD THE FLU AND COULD NOT EAT, and this one blogger I read, Kameron Hurley at Brutal Women, got all kinds of compliments on her weight loss that ended up being caused by her developing Type I diabetes. People can be such assholes.
I had a friend in high school that had some kind of jaw surgery that required her to wear headgear that kept her jaw set. She could only eat liquids, so it was things like smoothies and juice and broth. She lost a lot of weight over a few weeks, and everyone was talking about how good she looked. I was mortified, because I knew how hard it had been for her, and how badly she just wanted to eat normally again.
A few people have commented that this is not a feminist issue and wondered why it's here. My response:
Because weight is definitely a feminist issue! Our society pretty much expects all women to be dieting all the time in order to be thin and "beautiful." Being a feminist who wants to lose weight is difficult because it's hard to do that without feeling like you're subscribing to that horrible expectation (trying to make yourself all purty-like). Even if you are doing it for the right reasons, it sometimes feels (or others might feel) like you're giving in to what the patriarchy expects/wants from you. We should be willing to discuss it and support each other.
Thank you.
Exactly. I'm carrying a lot of extra weight on my stomach, which is unhealthy in terms of heart disease. I honestly don't care about looking overweight -- I've gotten to the point where my appearance is pretty divorced from my identity. But often when I explain to someone that I don't want to eat fast food/cake/whatever, I feel like I have to add a disclaimer, "I don't think I'm fat or anything -- it's for health reasons!"
YES.
I've been trying to lose weight for a year now, ever since I quit the Depo that made me gain weight rapidly. It often feels like, as a feminist, I should never acknowledge that I'm trying -- that's it's in no way justifiable. Even when it's for a right reason. Even when you do it through healthy diet and exercise.
I have reset my goal, however, to be that of an ongoing, organic and passionate relationship/love affair with my body. I feel good about my body and understand my body. I appreciate the strength it develops from exercise and don't fetishize its changes during weight loss. I don't have a "goal" weight or size; I just want to find my "true" body in it's healthiest, most loved state. I will never compare it to others' bodies or ask it to do anything that feels bad. I give it nine hours of sleep a night.
I just want to say you can do it and i support you! it's hard and it hurts, and you'll mess up sometimes, but people can be really amazing. taking good care of yourself is a way of loving yourself and as a woman and a feminist we should love all women! Especially ourselves!
My story:
I've struggled with my weight since I was 4 or 5 years old. When I started kindergarten, I was diagnosed with asthma, and was put on medication that contained steroids to combat it. My mom, although wonderful in most ways, didn't know how harmful it would be to give her young child McDonalds every week or plates of fries and microwaved treats everyday.
Anyway, from age 5 on I have been seriously obese. I had an addiction to food ever since early childhood. I inherited generally good health otherwise, but my childhood was lonely, isolated and painful. I missed out on so, so much because of my weight and how people treated me. It *shouldn't* have happened this way, but it did.
As a teen, I continued to battle my weight. I tried dietitians, starvation diets, "eating healthy", etc. Nothing worked. In my late teenage years I started to give up. I've also battled major depression and OCD for most of my life, being on various medications since age 10.
Now, at 20, I'm finally starting to make positive change in my life and with my weight. For the past year I've been vegan, keeping an eye on my daily caloric intake and exercise. The result has been remarkable! I've been steadily losing weight, getting healthier and happier.
This is my message of hope to others. You will read a million different things from a million different people about why you can or can't lose weight. The truth of it is if you can conquer your food demons and commit yourself to being HEALTHY, you can lose the weight.
What started it all for me: really and truly my health. I stopped caring about my appearance long ago. I realized that at age 19 and 20, I was worried about not living to see 30, about my heart, diabetes, and whether I would be able to have children someday. I wanted to be able to live the best years of my life, my 20s, without worrying about all these health issues. This is the only life I'll ever get and I want to live it until I'm 104. This means managing my mental health, my energy levels and making sure what I put into my body is nothing but goodness. I feel like I deserve nothing less =)
That is really inspiring, and very brave of you to share all that you went through.
More than anything, I am so glad to hear that you were able to work your way past some really significant obstacles and get to a point where your feel healthy and well.
I struggle with this. I spend a lot of time discussing positive body image w. my friends. I truly think that one of the most revolutionary fuck yous a woman can give to society is loving her body the way it is. That being said, I have recently gained weight. I feel uncomfortable and I don't like the way my clothes fit me. I don't feel foxy, even though I preach foxy at all sizes. It was a huge existential crisis for me. I recently started running and being more mindful of what I eat not bc suddenly I am a larger size. The catalyst for me was seeing my favorite band a few weeks ago and not being able to dance my ass off. I didn't feel healthy or fit.
The only way to lose weight and keep it off is to make major lifestyle changes and keep them, while slowly losing weight.
This is incredibly short-sighted. I lost a significant amount of weight years ago and have maintained a weight loss of more than 100 pounds for more than five years. Yes, my diet did change drastically, which has helped me to maintain much of that weight loss, but I've still experienced an unexplained weight gain of 25 pounds in three years despite a healthy, plant-based diet and active lifestyle. There are a multitude of factors that influence body weight and not all are subject to change with changes in diet and exercise. For me, it's a thyroid deficiency and potentially PCOS. For yet others, it could be influenced by metabolic syndrome or other endocrine disorders, side effects from medication, disability or the simple fact of aging. The sheer act of sustaining a weight loss is made even more difficult when you consider that there are strong physiological adaptations that promote weight regain.
My question is this: If, as you say, you're focusing on your health and not appearance, then why does weight seem to be your one and only yardstick by which you measure improvements to your health? This is especially ironic considering that you say that you weren't a healthy person even when your BMI classified you as average-weight. I'm also curious as to why you felt compelled to list your personal statistics (5'4", 190-lbs) when you'd rather people not focus on your appearance at all.
I do empathize with you about the uninvited comments. I experienced that throughout my weight loss as well. In my case, I struggled with a very serious eating disorder and the comments only served to both strengthen my weight loss resolve and make me even more deathly afraid of weight regain. Here are a few good retorts I wish I had known about way back when.
"Have you lost weight? You look great?"
- Yes, but I think I've always looked great.
- Wow, did I really look so hideous before?
- More importantly, I feel great.
- Am I? I hadn't noticed...
All followed by a changing of the subject.
The important thing is to not engage the person. When you respond with "Yes, I've lost xx pounds," or even a "thank you," it can be perceived as an invitation for them to comment even further. You need to shut down the conversation and make it clear that this is not an issue you want to discuss further. If all else fails, a simple "How are you doing/feeling?" is always a great way to divert attention away from you and onto them.
As I explained, I wanted people to know that I truly needed to lose weight. I don't want people to think or infer that I'm at a healthy weight and just being influenced to think I'm overweight.
I obviously want to be healthier, and the main way I'm measuring that is through weight loss. Obviously I need to develop healthier habits and feel good about myself, but weight is the most common 'yardstick' and that's what I'm using. I guess I should be focusing on how I feel, thank you for reminding me.
Thanks for the tips.
I also should say that I didn't mean to imply that there is only one thing influencing weight. Obviously there are many factors.
I think you make a lot of really strong points--PCOS and other medical issues can really be hell. And you're right that body composition is way more important than "weight" (I've been a flabby 135 and a buff 145--guess which one was healthier.) It is just so hard to measure. That impedence stuff is BS, and I really hate calipers.
I think for many people with weight issues, overall, permanent changes to diet, as opposed to "dieting" is important, but you're absolutely right that not everyone fits that mold. (Just like some people do fabulously on lower fat diets, and others prefer lower sugar/carb. diets.)
i would rather be dead than overweight - and i think that that particular mentality will be, in my case, prophetic.
Maybe for me, too.
It's really weird and confusing to try to reconcile this with feminism. Anorexia and other eating disorders are so constricting, and the focus on the body (and for some sufferers, on appearance) feels decidedly unfeminist. It worries me when I feel this kind of harsh judgment leaking into my perceptions of other women, too. The whole deal makes me feel like a hypocrite -- and how can you restructure society when you have no energy and your spare time goes into planning ways to eat only undressed lettuce without someone looking at you funny?
Sometimes I wonder if this food obsession is, among many things, a sort of mental/emotional footbinding enacted on women to keep them (ornamentally) in their place.
The "footbinding" thing: YES and I've also heard the term "invisible corset". (I used it in my "mom jeans" post.)
To everyone that posted supportive comments, I wish I could reply to all of you, but I'm just going to say, thank you. I was shocked at the sheer response I got; thanks to everyone who posted. You've all been so helpful.
Also, thank you to everyone who shared their own stories, as well.
I'm a lot like you - I'm bipolar, on Seroquel, and weigh 175 lbs., although I'm an inch shorter.
I was thin as a rail before psych meds. I know that I wouldn't be that thin now if I'd never taken them, given that my metabolism would likely have slowed down a bit as I reached my 30s. However, I'm pretty damn sure I'd never have reached 208 pounds (my highest weight ever) had it not been for a combo of lithium/Depakote/Zyprexa. All three of those are known weight-gainers, Zyprexa especially.
A few years ago, I lost a LOT of weight via diet and exercise and getting my meds switched to more weight-neutral types. Down to 141 from 208. Fast forward a few years, when I started taking Seroquel, and I was back up to 187. Now I'm back to watching my food intake really, really carefully, which I didn't have to as much last go-round because I was off antipsychotic meds then. Unfortunately, I NEED my Seroquel at this point, so my weight's probably never going to go back down to its natural set point without me dieting to get there.
I often feel like a 'bad' feminist for dieting, though. Even though my overall cholesterol and triglycerides skyrocket when I'm heavier and I'm obviously above what my natural set point probably is, I read some feminist fat acceptance blogs and feel like a traitor for intentionally dieting.
And that's because I kind of dig it when I'm thinner. I can find more clothes that fit me, I get more attention from men and more compliments from women, and I've internalized the bullshit idea most of us are raised with that thin always equals beautiful and fat does not. I often wonder if I would even bother trying to lose weight if it were ONLY about my health. I PROBABLY would, but I don't know if I DEFINITELY would.
An interesting topic for me (more about the loosing weight/healthy lifestyle than the body imagine discussion) as I am currently trying to loose weight and have a longer history of loosing and gaining weight.
First of all, if the 16 in your nick is your age, you might have to be careful when it comes to weight training and loosing weight as it could impact your development (not sure about it though)
Here is what works for me (lost 17 pounds this year)
Eating:
- diets do not work, change your eating habits for good
- try to loose weight slowly
- analyse and write down your eating habits
- loosing weight is math. Eat less than your body consumes (in kalories) and you loose weight
- if you buy unhealthy food you will end up eating it
- if you don´t eat something for breakfast your body will be in an energy saving mode and you will stay tired for a longer period of time
- low fat meals usually mean more calories, beware...
Sports:
- it makes sense to go to a gym as trainers can adjust a training programm to your personal needs
- if you are sitting all day because of your job, it makes sense to go to a gym anyway to avoid a future back problems
- Loosing weight also leads to loosing muscle mass which is also a reason to go to a gym and do some weight training to minimize that effect (3 times a week)
- Additional to weight training it makes sense to train endurance as well on a stationary cycle for example
- combine watching tv with riding your bike or find a time when to do cardiac training like riding for half an hour before going to bed or after standing up
IMPORTANT: Loosing weight is not necesseraly healthy. Set reasonable goals and don´t starve yourself. It is important that you are happy with your body, it doesn´t matter what other people think about it. Good luck!
OK, I warn you, I will probably go on for a long time.
You need to do what you have to to stay healthy. For a lot of people that has nothing to do with weight, but if it does for you, then fine.
I'm a staunch advocate of size acceptance. I have also lost a lot of weight (somewhere between 60-70 pounds over about a year and a half). Those two things can be very difficult to balance together, because you frequently feel like an outsider in both areas.
Here's my tale: I was a binge eater. I never officially got diagnosed with BED, but I had all the symptoms. As a result, normal healthy eating never worked for me. So I had to go on a very extreme (doctor-monitored) liquid diet at first -- it was like an alcoholic going through detox, except you can't NOT eat at all, so you have to do it this way. It doesn't sound like a healthy weight loss strategy on paper, but it was the only thing I could do.
I guess this is where I put in the point about how if anyone has an issue with my method they should go to hell or actually live in my body and head for awhile before they make judgments.
I was on that hardcore for awhile before I started re-introducing regular food. I'm still struggling with this part. I know that my scary diet was necessary for the reasons I already stated, but it didn't teach me much about healthy eating habits. I know the basics, but I am having a hard time applying what is healthy with what I was told is "healthy" simply because it is low-calorie.
I also took up running and finished my first 5K in the fall. Though I hurt my foot so I haven't been doing it as much since then.
My advice, however, would be that if you are truly focusing on health you should ignore the number on the scale and definitely ignore BMI -- that system is so flawed that it basically says nothing about your health. I would just work on healthy eating and exercise. Your body will do what it needs to, which may include weight loss and may not.
I started going to the gym regularly about three months ago. I love how much fitter and stronger I feel because of it. Whenever anybody makes comments about my body I tend to make a smart-ass comment about how I could beat them up with my new muscles or could beat them in a race (I tend to get said comments from guys, so I find shutting them down like that works - I haven't tried it on girls!)
Thank you for sharing this! This is definitely a conversation we should be having.
I confess: I am someone, who, after seeing a friend who has lost a significant amount of weight (when I know they have been struggling, for whatever motivation), has commented, "Omgosh! You look great."
Your post made me realize what a silly (and clearly, insensitive) comment this is to make.
I am not judgmental about appearances. Echoing the posts above, losing weight can be so difficult. When I see a friend or acquaintance who seems to have finally made progress in their weight loss, I would like to congratulate/ encourage them, because I know it takes effort.
So: is there a sensitive way to honor and congratulate the work that someone has put into their body? You're so right, comments about appearance only undermine the effort. Are there comments/compliments that you've gotten from friends or acquaintances that you've liked?
Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't think I've ever gotten a "compliment" about my weight loss that didn't seem somehow patronizing/weird/kind of insulting.
Thoughts?
So: is there a sensitive way to honor and congratulate the work that someone has put into their body?
How about, "How are you feeling?"
I would actually encourage people NOT to make comments about the weight loss of others unless invited to do so. I received lots of compliments when I lost weight when in reality I have never been so unhealthy in my life (anorexia). Not everyone with an eating disorder is emaciated. In fact, people with bulimia tend to be average-weight and even overweight and women of all shapes and sizes can have disordered eating. You can never be certain as to who has an eating disorder and who doesn't, so it's best to steer clear of comments that can trigger disordered behaviors and/or hurt feelings altogether.
Hmmm, yes, I think this is probably the best policy --to not make comments about weight loss unless invited to do so. There are so many other things to talk about.
Again, this really was eye-opening for me. I can't tell you how many times I've felt worse after someone commented on my weight loss. It's such a common, accepted part of conversation, I never even considered this.
Epiphany of the day, definitely...
Funny that you mention this topic.
The past 6 months I have been exhausted, apathetic and have zero libido (and a weird pain in my side). Coincidentally (or not so coincidentally) I have also gained around 10 kilos.
I was convinced it was a thyroid problem. So, I pushed my doctor to test my levels. While I was meeting with him he suggested it was depression (blues, maybe, but chemical imbalance? no).
The results came back 2 weeks ago and they were normal. I made the decision to start running/eating slightly better. I've been doing it for 2 weeks now and already I have more energy and excitement (and no weird pain). I have tried to "lose weight" before and I always get bored as I don't see results in 2 weeks. But, now that it is about my general enjoyment of life, and I am seeing results centered around that, I am alllll about living healthier.
A couple of years ago I came across an Alanis Morrisette quote that I love:
“I see my body as an instrument, rather than an ornament.”
Thanks for sharing! :)
Thank you for writing this! I was just thinking about weight-loss and feminism as I too am trying to lose weight. I have always been big and after obsessing over my weight in jr. high (although it never changed) I just learned to accept it. I was a size 14/16 and felt good. Fat? Who cares? However, this past fall depression and SAD knocked me off my feet, and after being the same weight for two years, I gained 30+ lbs. in no more than three months. My weight stabilized after that but I began binge eating more and more. I'm trying to look at my weight-loss in the most rational ways.
- At 30 lbs. lighter, although still overweight, I felt better physically and it felt right. After maintaing the same weight for a couple of years after puberty, I felt as though it was the size I was meant to be. My eating was pretty normal with some junk-food but no real binges, and although I wasn't quite active, doing physical activity wasn't difficult.
- After my depression set in, I would barely move (quite literally lying down for 80% of the day) and would consume thousands of calories in one sitting, in the privacy of my room. Any way you look at it, this wasn't mentally or physically healthy.
- My body, and my wallet, need me to cook at home, eat better (and less) and not binge/splurge on mounds of fast-food.
I'm never going to be thin or look like a model. Infact, I may never be what is considered a "healthy weight" for my height (although I don't 100% believe BMIs). But I most definately want to quit compulsive/emotional overeating, have normal eating patterns*, and be more active.
Also, my weight is not directly negatively effecting my health, but it is likely that weight loss will improve it.
*This realy is my biggest goal. I want to eat healthy home-cooked meals most of the time. I want to eat a bit extra at restauraunts. I want to eat a chocolate bar when I'm craving it. I want cake at a birthday party. I don't want to feel controlled by my addiction to food, and I also don't want to grow to dislike it. Food is what nourishes us, and it can be enjoyable and delicious and an activity for sharing. I don't want it to be something that negatively impacts my mental well-being.
I was a personal trainer for a few years, and it depressed me how so many of my clients viewed their #1 problem as weight (not health) and were willing to do anything to lose it. The thing is, if weight loss alone is your goal, you're much less likely to succeed, and you have a good chance of making harmful choices. So I definitely recommend keeping the focus on health.
I used to tell my clients that if they exercised, ate a reasonable, moderate, well-balanced diet, and got plenty of sleep, they would generally lose weight without even really realizing it at first. For most people, your body will naturally return to the weight it "wants" to be if your habits are healthy. But your energy levels and the quality of your sleep will improve, and your skin and hair and even fingernails will glow with health. And the glow of health is sexy, no matter what the size and shape of the body it's in.
Oh, and also, BMI is a crock of shit. I was still certified when they made the switch from percentage of body fat to BMI, and nobody could explain the advantage or explain why it wasn't problematic that it includes muscle mass in the measurement of "obesity." I suspect the weight-loss industry and sectors of the medical industry that profit off the "obesity epidemic" played a political role, but I'll refrain from launching into one of my borderline-conspiracy-theory rants here.
If you want to gauge your health and fitness progress, focus on how you feel, how you breath when walking up stairs or uphill, how your joints feel at the end of the day, how quickly your heartrate returns to resting after aerobic activity, how much lower your resting heartrate is than before, etc. These are much better indicators of health and fitness than either the number on the scale or BMI.
I wish you could have been my trainer. When I first joined a gym, I scheduled with a PT because working out was completely foreign to me. I needed someone to teach me the ropes. When I sat down with her to discuss my goals, the first thing I said was, "I don't want to be like my grandma who can't get out of her chair without 5 minutes of effort because she never used her muscles." I then emphasized that I wanted to be able to lift things (I'd just been on an airplane and couldn't get my luggage in the overhead compartment without help - it was humiliating!). And last I mentioned that my pants didn't fit well anymore and that I hoped to get back into them as I accomplished my other goals.
Guess what she fixated on? She decided I needed to lose 20 pounds (I was 130 at the time) and then continued to berate me for the fact that the scale wasn't going down, even though my strength goals were steadily improving. I finally dumped her because I was so frustrated with her focus on what I considered my lowest priority goal.
Yeah, that really sucks. But it's so consistent with gym culture that it's not surprising. And even trainers that start out wanting to focus on health and well-being rather than weight kind of get it beaten out of them by the steady stream of clients who couldn't give a fuck about their health but just want to be thin.
It also really bothered me that so many female clients were afraid to weight train because they thought they would bulk up and not be "feminine." And these were often the same ones who openly admired my fairly muscular build. I would have been all happy if you had come in.
And here's how the cultural mythology about women not weight training, or sticking to small weights with more reps to "tone but not bulk up" is a HUGE betrayal of women. The single best way to avoid osteoporosis in old age is to acheive the highest level of bone density in your 20s and 30s as possible, because at some point, no matter how much calcium in your diet or what drugs you take, your bone density will steadily decline. You can slow the decline, but after your mid-late 30s it's all downhill where bone density is concerned. But if you've built up enough bone density in your youth, you have plenty to spare, so you'll probably be fine. And the way to build bone-density? Weight-bearing exercise. So why the fuck aren't people telling women this???
The good news is, all the time you spend walking around campus with a backpack full of books, or hiking with a backpack on, or carrying a baby or groceries or whatever, also counts as weight-bearing exercise.
Thank You! Yes, BMI is so ridiculous- it tells you nothing about a person's cardivascular fitness. Lots of people on my soccer team would have BMI's in the high 20s/low 30s, and can still beat me around the park.
Re: BMI.
I know for a fact that the BMI you get from plugging height and weight into a formula is completely inaccurate, but I'm not so certain about the other methods. DEXA and hydrostatic weighing are much more accurate, and there are other, easier methods that are also more accurate. Do the numbers you get from those methods actually mean something?
I do think that it's more important to keep an eye on your BMI than on your weight but unfortunately the inexpensive ways to find your BMI aren't always that accurate, and the formula is completely flawed.
My sophomore year of high school, my easy height-weight-formula BMI was normal and the BMI my gym teacher got with calipers was so low as to be unhealthy. When I went to the doctor she told me I was too thin to have my period, and ordered me to gain weight. So maybe there's something to this whole BMI thing.
It is just not very accurate. And you have a problem if you are muscular as muscles are heavier then fat.
The height-weight-formula BMI isn't accurate for precisely that reason. However, BMI is actually supposed to reflect fat versus lean, which means that an accurate BMI says a lot more about your health than your weight does.
And most clinics and GP offices just use the height-weight thing. If you're using calipers, you're looking at percentage of body fat (and possibly factoring in bone thickness), which was the standard before BMI, and which is far more telling.
My partner is very muscular but also lean. He weighs something like 230 and is 6'1" which technically makes him obese or something according to the current standards. Our doctor's office told him that. He laughed, and had one of our friends who works at the rec center measure his body fat percentage with the calipers, which came in at 4%. I'm sorry, but nobody with 4% body fat is obese. But beyond that, they should have been looking at things like resting heart rate to determine fitness. Given the fact that he climbs 300-foot windmills several times a day I'm going to assume that his cardio-vascular health is fine.
Thanks for talking about this and putting yourself "out there". I think feminism is all about choice and making your own decisions EXCEPT when it comes to weight loss (in reality, not in theory...read on...). It seems that even the most awesome feminists will judge you if you decide to lose weight, no matter what your reasons. And the funny thing is, it shouldn't matter what your reasons are. Isn't the feminism movement about putting the power and control back into the hands of women and doesn't that mean trusting their decisions about how to eat and exercise and control their bodies without being commented about (good and bad) and critisized? Call me Suzy Sunshine, but I thought that's what feminism was when I signed up for it!
Losing weight in itself can endanger your health--I'm a great example of this. I lost about 125lbs years ago after changing my lifestyle radically. However, losing all that weight made me develop gallstones. Doctors doing bariatric surgery often prophylactically remove the gallbladder. I eventually (long story) had my gallbladder removed, but it was already too late, the size and number of stones being passed caused me to develop chronic pancreatitis, an awful disease that has me in constant severe pain and will eventually make me a diabetic. All this from losing weight. HOWEVER, I'm not sorry I lost the weight. (Although I gained a good portion back during my pregnancy last year and I'm trying to lose it slowly.) So many other things changed for the good after I lost the weight: my knees stopped aching, my carpal tunnel disappeared, I was able to start running, which was one of the loves of my earlier life.
Anyway, the point I'm making is that losing weight is a double-edged sword. It's not always the most healthful choice, no matter what your doctor, or the one on TV,tells you. Use your common sense.
Just make sure you work out. If you notice, health and fitness is always about being proactive for men: Men get healthy by going to the gym more often and working out harder.
In the context of women, it's always about food and what NOT to do: Women get healthy by NOT eating that ice cream, by NOT having that second helping.
I would suggest focusing more on exercise than food. It's so much easier to control what you CAN do rather than what you CAN'T do. Plus, when you exercise, it's about getting fit, not about losing weight, and that just gives you something positive to focus on and ACCOMPLISH. If you lose weight by just not eating certain things, then yeah, you've lost weight, but only at the expense of deprivation. If you work out you will most likely eventually eat better as a by product, AND it can be fun and is a positive and PROACTIVE way to be healthier.
And just an aside, many people who are overweight think they can't exercise. But ANYONE can, and it takes a lot less time than people think. It's more about being comfortable doing it than it is about having the lung capacity, muscles, etc. If you've never run before, it can be very uncomfortable, but the more you practice it, the more it becomes like second nature.
Good luck!!!
Oh I forgot to mention one more thing to the original poster. You mentioned that your doctors have suggested that you lose weight. I'm not going to say they are wrong, and I don't know exactly what your situation is, but keep in mind that doctors see a high BMI (which is the stupidest measure of anything) and think "unhealthy" and see a low BMI and think "healthy." It's like when police use racial profiling- it's a shortcut for them. When I was in grad school- even though I was in the best shape of my life and ate healthy foods- I gained about 40 lbs. I don't know exactly why- it was just a lifestyle change. Now, I am very big and muscular to begin with so, the doctor seeing my BMI thought I was going to die right there on the table and insisted that I lose weight immediately, even if it meant working out less- I had to focus on WEIGHT. Meanwhile, I've got a close friend who is TEENY. She weighs like 80 lbs. She doesn't have an eating disorder or anything, it's just the way she is. But she NEVER exercises, even just in daily life, and is always sick, always tired, and just seems overall unhealthy. But a doctor can't just look at her and assume she's unhealthy- you know what I mean? They have to think about it more and spend more time getting to know her situation. And is that in her best interest either? No, of course not. Doctors spend all this energy on people who they can just look at and mark "unhealthy" and may be completely overlooking others who need the attention more. Anyway, it's just my take but I thought I'd put it out there.
Thought-provoking post. Ever since I have started reading feminist blogs, I have become wary of commenting on weight issues - quite rightly there's a lot of resentment toward people pushing a uniform approach on every distinct individual.
However, I was wondering about this quote from the blog post: "Some of the comments are disguised as being helpful, as if I could possibly be unaware of my weight and appearance. These are more hurtful than the malicious, cruel ones, perhaps because they are cleverly disguised as concern."
What if I really *am* concerned? How do I make clear to someone -anyone- around me I am concerned for their health, not their appearance? I do have women near me who I respect and love, and who I'd like to awaken to the fact that they are destroying their health by their life style choices. Is there any way at all to raise such an issue without being guilty of the above?
I hope this comment won't be regarded as concern trolling, which happened to me before. I honestly am curious about this.
Essentially, the article boils down to this: anything I cannot do is inherently bad, regardless of my own lack of willpower.
Aw, one of my friends is on seroquel, or was for a time, and it caused him to gain a lot of weight too. He's had a hard time losing it even though he runs several miles a day.
This isn't for everybody but... you might think about modeling for an artist or art group. Painters and sculptors don't have the attitude that only one body type is beautiful. I was an art model for awhile at school and the most popular model was a fifty-ish, graying, beer bellied fellow.
Seeing artists create beautiful art that is based on YOUR body, how you are, naturally, yourself --- can be a really amazing feeling. And usually these type of painters are friendly and relaxed themselves - perhaps being an artist, they understand a feeling of not fitting in. I can't put my finger on it but for some people it really is a breakthrough of new perspective in a very, very positive way.
Diets and diet aids do not help anyone. The only way to successfully lose weight and get the body that you want is by using the right information. This information can be found in the book Lose Weight Using Four Easy Steps which can be ordered through the website www.bbotw.com Everyone who has gotten a copy of this book is now healthier.