Trigger Warning
I just learned about the Tiana Angelique Notice Foundation, created to aid women with restraining orders and prevent domestic violence. The foundation is named for Tiana Angelique (and created by her family), a 25 year old graduate student in CT, who was murdered by her ex-boyfriend on Feb. 14. It was the last time he violated her restraining order against him.
From a news article :
"At the time, Tiana had a restraining order that was supposed to keep Carter from contacting her. But he violated the order several times, friends and family said — once by posing as someone else and sending her e-mails.
In the end, he became emboldened, said a friend who asked not to be named. The day before Notice died, he called her three times at her job. He also wrote her a letter, which she took to the Plainville Police Department hours before she was killed, the friend said.
That was one of three police departments she visited in the week before her death to file complaints about Carter or to follow up on previous complaints. She also visited police in Waterbury, where she worked, and in Bloomfield, where Carter lived....Alvin Notice, the victim's father, said he will push for a new law that requires the automatic arrest of anyone suspected of violating a restraining order. Tiana's sister, Natasha Smith-Notice, warned against state budget cuts that would affect domestic violence programs. And the family has already established a foundation in Tiana's name, The Tiana Angelique Notice Foundation, to help women with restraining orders and prevent domestic violence."
The most dangerous time for a survivor of dv is when and after they leave the abuser, and Tiana's story illustrates just how unsafe people can be even if they do everything right legally to try to be safe. Is it any wonder that countless people stay with their abuser rather than increase the risk of being killed because there's little they legally can do to stop the abuser from attacking/murdering them or someone they love? My heart goes out to Tiana's family and all the people like her who were able to leave their abuser but still weren't/aren't safe. Hopefully her family's activism will prompt more awareness and lead to better policies for handling dv.
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I am so happy that this was posted on this site. I work at the Center for Women at Emory University. The sister of Tiana, Natasha (we call her Sasha), is the Assistant Director at the CWE, and so we have all been affected by this tragedy. We actually just put on a production of the Vagina Monologues, which I was in, and decided to donate the remainder of our proceeds, after giving the necessary 10% to the V-Day Foundation, to the Tiana Angelique Foundation. We are also now working to help keep the Georgia Coalitition Against Domestic Violence (website http://www.gcadv.org/) open, because there is a huge possibility that they will be closed or receive a huge budget cut with the current economic situation. We at the Center for Women at Emory hope that our fellow feminists will read about this tragedy and join us to help stop domestic violence.
Thanks so much, powe3rful!
Sure, and thanks for the additional info
What is the punishment now for restraining order violators?
In my mom's case, with the order she had against her second husband, it was a, "Hey buddy, I know you're frustrated and just want to talk, but you've got to stay away from her for a while until she cools down."
The next day he slashed our tires.
Thank you for this post. You hit the nail on the head here:
"Is it any wonder that countless people stay with their abuser rather than increase the risk of being killed because there's little they legally can do to stop the abuser from attacking/murdering them or someone they love?"
May Tiana's soul rest in peace and lets do all we can to help this cause.
...
Stories like this make me reconsider owning a gun.
What?! You mean a piece of paper won't protect you from a sadistic POS who wants to hurt or kill you? That's crazy talk.
I am very sorry to say that restraining order violations are not taken seriously.
You'd think that once a restraining order is in place, the police would actually care to do something when it is violated but in too many cases they don't. Then, if the police care enough to arrest the violator, a judge is extremely reluctant to take it seriously enough to jail him, instead relying on weak promises or bail. This tells the violator that violating a restraining order is no big deal, especially when he is repeatedly released after violations.
No wonder the guy gets up enough nerve to kill - he knows nobody is going to stop him.
When a woman's right to life is viewed as equal to a man's right to liberty, then there is a chance of restraining order violations being treated as seriously as they should be.
"When a woman's right to life is viewed as equal to a man's right to liberty, then there is a chance of restraining order violations being treated as seriously as they should be."
Exactly!
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Welcome to "In the Living Room™"- a boutique organization for Women who are Lifestyle Entrepreneurs. We relax, chat, chew, shop …and travel. Building amazing businesses, creating meaningful business relationships, strategic alliances and joint venture opportunities the woman’s way while living the lifestyle of our dreams. Our Philosophy is based on Netweaving. Netweaving is all about developing strong meaningful relationships and only then can you make referrals and grow strong profitable businesses.
Please visit our site: http://inthelivingroommembership.eventbrite.com/
Every time someone snottily asks, "Why doesn't she just LEAVE," it makes me feel violent. You hear stories like this, and the one of the woman who went across the country to escape her abuser only to have him drive from the West Coast to the East Coast to murder her and several other people in church on Sunday morning, or the guy who dressed as Santa and slaughtered his ex-wife's family because she'd been granted $10K and the family dog in the divorce and he'd gotten the house, and it seems impossible to ignore the fact that fear has a lot to do with why women don't leave. After the "Santa" bastard killed more than eight people at their family Christmas party, I saw comments in various forums where people guessed that the wife must have been a money-grubbing, horrible bitch to "make" him snap like that. And people wonder why women are afraid.
yep. it's never the dude was just a angry, possessive, controlling asshole.
Hey Folks!
This is my first post here but I've been lurking for about 8 months. My school recently just wrapped up International Women Week, and we had a speaker come and talk on exactly this subject, that we don't do enough to protect the women who have left their abusive partners. That time and time again abusers have violated restraining orders, utter death threats ( sometimes in the even in the presence of authorities), etc, and Police do nothing.
When you take into factor the "honeymoon cycle" of abusive relationships and the excessive violence that follows once a woman finally breaks free from the relationship, I think we realize that telling a woman to "just leave" is not the easy and perfect solution we think it is.
I am upset daily by the media crucifying Rhianna for getting back with Chris Brown, saying she is setting a bad example for girls everywhere. I beg to differ, Rhianna's choice is just bringing to light, that even when a woman has all the resources and support she needs to leave, it is still a very difficult process. Their is a psychological and emotional aspect that is often overlooked. Leaving is not impossible, but it is a complex and courageous process.
Just my thoughts
-Montreal Feminist
So I suppose "being a troll" is disagreeing with you? Explain to me how complaining about a joke t-shirt on the internet in any way corrects the perceived inequities that exist. It's very easy to make comments from the safety of your own bedroom, another to seek change and do things to bring that change about.Again, it's a joke and if you don't like it, do something about it like going to bedroom furniture a strip club and convincing young women not to lead such a destructive lifestyle...more trolling?