I think there are lots of things the parents can do to avoid this kind of problem. When I was a kid my parents were big on the idea that girls can do anything boys can do. My favorite toy one christmas was one of those racecar tracks that goes up against the wall and you see sparks when the cars crash. It was pretty awesome. I also had dolls and stuff but I was always more interested in toys that did something.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately, watching my nephew--who is only two--and my cousin--who is 11--grow up.

I was obsessed with pink as a child. I had tons of barbies. I played with dolls. I loved teenage mutant ninja turtles. I played with the neighborhood boys the most. I loved playing dress up. My mother worked full time. My father worked part time, stayed home when we were sick. My mother cooked dinner every night after getting home at 6:00. My father always drove. My parents told me I could do whatever I wanted. My father is kinda sexist. I played sports. I played princess. I played "college." My father taught me to handle daddy long legs and snakes. He built me a doll house. I climbed trees. I wanted to be a writer, a fashion designer, an actor, a horseback riding instructor, an explorer, a mom.

How did I become a feminist? I have no idea. I really don't know how to raise feminists. My parents didn't try, and I think at least one, if not both, of my sisters and I call ourselves feminist.

My sister talks about her nieces and notices that they seem drawn to "girl toys." This I think, at least, is from advertising. Before I was an aunt I never realized just how many commercials were on kids channels. They advertise girls playing with "girl toys" and boys playing with "boy toys" and the two rarely mesh. I can totally see a girl watching these commercials, seeing the girls on tv, identifying with them, and wanting to play with the toys they're playing.

I don't really no how to combat it, aside from taking away tv. But you know what? I didn't have a necessarily feminist upbringing and although I had some tomboy moments, I've always been pretty girly. I don't think I'd take away anything I had from my hypothetical daughters--let them have pink toys and play with an easy bake oven because there is certainly noting wrong with "feminine" actions. I just want to make sure that they know blue is a great color too and wood burning is a really fun hobby!

I have decided that if I ever have kids, I'm going to buy them a onesie that is half pink and half blue. That's as far as I've gotten.

As a kid I think I was pretty strongly against toys that were specifically for girls AND toys that were specifically for boys. I hate Barbie and GI Joe. I remember telling my dad at the toystore that I didn't want to go down the pink aisle or the green aisle.

why don't we start our own toy company?

A little note about female and male characters in children's movies--If you'd call Walle a male character and Eva a female character, I think that's a pretty good example of the female character being significantly more kick-ass and less emotional and adorable, pile of bolts, Walle.

Not to say that there are a lot, but there are some good exceptions.

Although I don't have kids, this is something that worries me as well. What seems even more challenging than raising a daughter is raising a feminist son. How do you convince a boy from early on that he should be concerned about the rights of girls when society and the media tells him to distance himself from them?

I guess the best tactic is to lead by example, don't do anything to encourage strict gender roles, and to raise your kids to question what they're told by society. Of course, eventually they'll question you, but hey, that's natural.

Although I don't have kids, this is something that worries me as well. What seems even more challenging than raising a daughter is raising a feminist son. How do you convince a boy from early on that he should be concerned about the rights of girls when society and the media tells him to distance himself from them?

I guess the best tactic is to lead by example, don't do anything to encourage strict gender roles, and to raise your kids to question what they're told by society. Of course, eventually they'll question you, but hey, that's natural.

When I was little, I liked Barbies and Legos and Hot Wheels and stuffed animals too. My parents didn't try to push me in either "gendered" direction. I think it's more important to let your kid develop as they will; provide them with a variety of things to play with and they'll be happy.

I don't feel as though my parents tried to actively raise a feminist, but I kind of absorbed their attitudes (especially my mom's and sisters') as I grew up. It's most important to set that example for your children. You don't need to necessarily sit down and explain why Barbie is unrealistic; that's readily apparent. But you should show your kids what healthy attitudes are through example.

I'm not sure what to do, because kids also have their likes and dislikes. They might get these from peers no matter what their parents say. The pressure to conform is staggering. When I was a little girl I got Tinker Toy and I was very happy. But when I tried to play "house" with other girls, I got ostracized because I wanted my Barbie to go to Mars, like Tintin. It didn't make me play with dolls the usual way but I could see how it might affect other children.

I actually find injecting feminism into my son's life to be one of the more fun aspects of parenting. As opposed to, say, potty training. Showing him how to give a doll a hug and that pink toys aren't kryptonite seems easy by comparison. I know it'll change when he goes to school, but for now it seems kind of natural. You teach by example, praise nurturing behavior as well as adventurous behavior, pay attention to what interests them and go with it.

It is more difficult with other people's kids--walking the fine line between putting your own ideas out there and not offending the parents. But I actually think your outdoor exploration kit was a perfect solution: you followed her interests. Even though it didn't get the reaction you were hoping for, you may have made the most lasting impression on her. I tend to feel pleased with myself when I make a kid think a little harder, in a positive way.

As a kid, I played with both "boys'" and "girls'" toys, and the kids I played with were a mixed group of boys and girls. That was back in the 70's...I'm justing hoping that kids these days realize they can play with whatever and whoever they want to! I loved my GI Joe with his Kung Fu Grip, and I loved my Bionic Woman action figure too.

We're all just people, after all. It doesn't matter what gender we happen to be born into.

I'm surprised no one has mentioned talking to your kids about feminism. They probably won't like lectures; bring up news stories about feminist issues and engage them in conversation. It's especially important that you discuss male privilege with boys. Try to make your kids feel comfortable, and do not punish them for having an ignorant or prejudiced opinion. Before they can understand feminism at a logical level, they will have already been surrounded by society. Teach them, correct them, but don't hate them when they're wrong.

This doesn't have anything directly to do with Feminism, but, I think it applies here.

Firstly, the easy bit...your attitudes and outlook will, to a certain extent rub off on your children. Parents are one of a myriad of influences. Admittedly, going against the prevailing wind isn't easy, but, it's not impossible.

Secondly, let them know that there is a CHOICE other than what gets pushed by the ultra mainstream.

One example of this was taking a friends kids out for the afternoon (I do not want kids myself). they are in their early teens, and go to McDonalds with their friends regularly. (A company I despise for many reasons, but, don't want to go into a rant here). So, I took them to one of the Mediterranian burger places. I was getting food for myself, and asked them 'do you want a burger?'. Of course the answer was yes! These places sell genuine quarter pound burgers (and a decent vegetarian option for those that don't eat meat). You should have seen their faces when they realized that their burgers were almost twice the size that they'd been getting elsewhere.

The next thing was 'What do YOU want on your burger?' L hates lettice, so you should have seen the look on his face when he realised he could say 'no lettuce'. He was grinning from ear to ear.

I also know that, having been made aware of the choice, they have been back there...not every time, but, sometimes.

Also there are more subtle things. Make a piont of reaching for the remote and putting the teletext on when the adverts come on when you are watching telly. There are plenty of kids pages there.

Installing Adblock Plus on your PC is another good option (sadly only available to Firefox users).

The gist of where I'm going is this...you WON'T BE ABLE to drown out what mainstream society/peers/advertising chucks at kids, but, you can both lessen it, and show that those choices are not the only ones.

I highly recommend The Paper Bag Princess for girls and boys alike.

SPOILERS: In a nutshell Princess Elizabeth is to marry Prince Ronald but Ronald gets whisked away by a dragon. Elizabeth goes after him but gets her dress burnt by the dragon so she covers up with a paper bag before going on to rescue Ronald. Ronald gets his nose out of joint over her appearance so she throws him to the curb and lives happily ever after.

http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/The-Paper-Bag-Princess-Robert-N-Munsch/9780920236253-item.html?ref=Search+Books%3a+%2527paper+bag+princess%2527

I work for the McDonald's Canada corporation. There are lots of positive things about my job such as flexible hours, they don't discriminate by age race religion or sex and i get paid more than other food service industry employees in my community do.BUT One thing, however, that I strongly disagree with is the "boy toy" and "girl toy" policies. I feel very uncomfortable asking this to customers and I feel very relived when the child cuts me off and says what they would like regardless of gender specific marketing. I have mentioned to my shift managers many times that this is gender discrimination and that we should have unisex toys.. but they are almost as low in the ranks as I , a cashier and drive through worker, so there is little they can do. Reading this post has inspired me to contact the head McDonalds offices in Canada and the United States of America, thank you so much for witting such a great and thought provoking article :)

I was talking to a 10-year-old boy about flying airplanes. His father is pretty sexist and is forcing him to take flying lessons. The kid has absolutely ZERO interest. So I asked him why his sister doesn't come out and take a lesson. Before he could answer, the father chimed in, "She doesn't like to do boy stuff," to which the boy replied, "What makes flying boy stuff?" And he was totally serious. Made my day. There is hope.

I always wonder about the nature versus nurture argument. I think it must be a combination of things, but too much societal prompting can definitely turn a potential scientist into a gaudy princess. By the time a young woman throws off her tiara and discovers something like science, it might very well be too late for her to catch up or compete in the field. I know many females who were boxed in like that.

I just wanted to say that I was pleased with Monsters vs. Aliens because (SPOILER) in the end Susan (the giant woman) learns that she doesn't need a man to be strong or powerful and learns to love herselfthe way she is. It was actually surprising and happy to me that she blew off the guy who turned out to be a jerk anyway, so it was all good. I know the commercials made it seem a certain way, but the movie itself turned out some surprising differences.

I work at Claire's in the mall (if you don't know what it is, we do ear piercings and our biggest sellers are our earrings), and I find it so hard to not try and interject when I hear parents push their children into the rigid stereotypes. One example: two parents (male and female) came in with three young boys, one of which was looking to buy earrings. As they are looking at our earring trees, the boy sees a pair that he likes. His mom says "No, those are girly earrings. You don't want those. Pick boy earrings, like these skulls." I wanted so bad to say something, but it's not really part of my job description to point out parenting problems.

I think the gift situation in this story is very interesting. You gave your niece a gift based on her interests (collecting bugs) and not a generic gift based on gender, that may or may not have had the effect of CREATING gender-stereotypical interests in your niece. What's interesting is that I STILL get generic gifts based on gender as an adult. Surprisingly, my dad, who is kinda sexist, always gives me gifts based on my interests in music, photography, what I like to read, etc., while my mother usually gives me clothing that is much more feminine that I would normally wear, or household items and decor that seem to have nothing to do with me.

THANK YOU for bringing this up!!! I got my oldest son and my middle son dolls to play with when I gave birth to my middle son (gave my oldest a doll) and my third son (gave my middle son the doll) because they saw me and wanted to hold a baby too.
I thought it was a great way to teach them how to be nurturing adults and learn how to care for smaller and more delicate things.
They learned a great deal from watching me and emulating me. My oldest son now helps me with my youngest. My middle son is very protective of his little brother.

It doesn't always have to be death and destruction. In fact, it really bugs me that kitchen/cooking sets are all in pink girly colors. Even though my middle son loves to emulate my husband who often does the cooking. He also loves to help me sweep and do laundry. Yet, all these types of toys are in the girls' aisles and done all in pink.

THe baking toys- all in pink.
Dolls- all in pink and frufru crap
Pretend kitchens- all in pink

What if my sons want to play with dolls and pretend to cook? What is so damn wrong with that? My husband, bless his heart - is pretty anti-sexism. But he still operates under the society norms that little boys shouldn't have dolls, dress as a prince, dress as an angel for halloween, or a bunny rabbit. These are "girl themes" "Dolls are for girls" WHO says so?

My middle son for the LONGEST time wanted a pretend kitchen. He also loved playing with his baby doll. He would carry it around and feed a bottle to the baby doll. Tuck the baby in at night.

This is helping him learn how to be a nurturing figure...I'm sorry,I'm ranting. But I'm raising three boys here.

I want them to be like my husband. Sensitive, nurturing, compassionate, helps in the kitchen, cooks, cleans, and is an amazing father.

What do you all think?