My mother has been going through some really difficult times lately, so she's been turning to her faith (Catholic) to help her through it. I have no problem with religion, and I think it can really help people--when it's not used to hurt others that is. Anyways, she told me that she wanted to go to this "weeping Jesus" thing with her, so I went to support her. The story behind this weeping Jesus is that there was this 13 year old kid who was dying of cancer, and the doctors told his parents that he had a few weeks to live. So the family prayed night after night until one night while they were praying, the kid noticed the picture of Jesus they had hanging on the wall and said, "Look mom! Jesus is crying!" His parent's looked and saw that Jesus was, in fact crying. The kid ended up living, and is still alive 17 years later (he's 30 now). My mom figure if she saw this picture, it would help her out...
We went, and it turned out to be this big group rosary prayer. They prayed through the rosary once, then the lady who was leading the prayer group started asking us to pray for the end of abortion. All I could think was FUUUUUUUCK! She only said that one thing, so I calmed down. A few minutes later, she asked again for us to pray for the end of abortion, and then this guy said that a plane with a guy who owned the biggest abortion provider (or something like that) crashed into a graveyard for aborted children. Since when have "aborted children" been buried?! They said it was a sign from God. Apparently, their merciful God kills people to prove a point their fucked up ideas about sin. I wanted to scream at them at that point, but I held back because I knew it wouldn't do any good.
Then everyone started going around testifying, and my mom raised her hand. I thought she was going to talk about the issues she's been going through. Instead, she told them through sobs that she would stop handing out information to women who seek abortion at her clinic (she is a nurse practitioner who provides care for low-income people). I seriously almost broke down to tears at that point. How dare they take advantage of people trying to get through hard times by pushing their propaganda?!
So yea, no more of that for me. Next time my mom asks me to go to anything religious other than mass, I will absolutely refuse.
My mom ended up asking me what I honestly thought about it later (I guess she could tell I was unhappy afterwards). I told her about how it was wrong for them to bring up abortion in that setting. Then I explained to her that a lot of women who seek abortions don't have any other options and that there are still women who get back ally abortions, and she told me she knew all of this (she should because she sees it all the time at her clinic). I even showed her the "Women Deserve Better" video. She agreed with me on all my points, except that women should choose have the right to choose. Unfortunately, I don't think she's going to change her mind about giving out abortion information. She will, however, continue to go to schools to talk about comprehensive education. I'm really upset about this, and I have no idea what to do. She's planning on opening another clinic specifically for women, and I'm worried that she might hand out backwards right-wing rhetoric. I guess I'm kind of asking for advice and ranting at the same time. What do you all think?
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Sorry, but this is why religion is bad. Not necessarily a belief in a higher power, but when you have an institution that thinks it is the most holy thing in this universe because of it's own set of morality, then you have problems. You can always find some churches that are more accepting and liberal when it comes to certain issues, but religion as a whole does more damage than good, in my opinion.
Hey, hey. Don't blame religion, blame the branch. Buddhism specifically does not condemn women who abort early, particularly if they are doing so because the child will be disabled or because they cannot care for a child. Several other religions take a variety of stances on abortion as well-- and on all other topics.
I like Buddhism in part because it's not about sin. If an action hurts another, it needs to be stopped bfor the sake of the victim; if it hurts you, it's not the job of the religion or community to punish you, since you will suffer yourself. Things that can cause bad karma are scaled appropriately, too. For example, sex that is not for the purposes of having a loving family and raising kids (biological or adopted) is considered bad, but it's on the same level as telling a lie, whereas murder and rape are much more severe because they hurt others.
It's not religion, really. Religion can be a tool for good. It's how religion is used.
I'd argue that in general, lying does hurt others, but sex that's not for procreation does not. I mean, that's a step up from Catholocism but still not entirely logical.
It's like telling a small lie, not like, is say, perjury. Something that could hurt someone else but where it's more likely that nothing will come of it.
And it's not sex for procreation, it's sex for having a family. So sex that holds the couple together is good, and sex that makes them happy is good, if they are intending to have a family together-- even if they are not intending to have a biological family. An infertile (or gay) couple who has sex in a stable relationship for the purposes of making a solid, cohesive family, and then adopts children, is held at the same level as a couple engaging in procreative sex. The concern is having sex outside of such relationship has the potential to harm children who are accidentally born of it, and cause emotional harm to the partners were it to end, but that since this is an unlikely event, it's held on the same level as a small lie-- which is also very unlikely to hurt anyone.
Remember though that Buddhism is debated as being a religion to some and instead is seen more as a lifestyle.
"Apparently, their merciful God kills people to prove a point their fucked up ideas about sin."
Sounds about right...
Funny, I would have titled this post "What Happens When Faith Pollutes Politics."
I gave it this title because I think that the people who brought up abortion were ruining a gathering for people of faith. Not every Christian believes that abortion (or homosexuality, or birth control, or whatever) is wrong, but when a priest or religious leader comes up and says it is and that everyone who has one is condemned to hell, that's when politics pollutes religion. I feel like most of the time, what is deemed wrong or evil by Christian groups (and other religions as well) have nothing to do with the Bible itself--that's why people only follow some parts of the Bible. The person who yells the loudest gets the Bible interpreted in his (it's almost always a man) own way.
Religion IS politics, they just call it a different name.
You should find out what your mother's clinic's policies are on refusing to hand out health information. If it turns out she's purposefully leaving out information, she could get fired.
Every time she brings up her plan, you might want to remind her that by not providing information, she could be doing a lot more harm to women, fetuses, and families than if she was completely forthright. The women who get back alley abortions won't be safe. The women who give up for adoption have high rates of suicide and depression. The women who keep the babies even when they can't afford them risk providing a sub-par life without healthcare for the babies or the mother. Remind her that she's not dealing with middle-class married couples in their thirties, but people who are low-income and without the resources to get proper pro-natal care, health care, etc etc.
I'm sure you've mostly explained that to her, but if you're silent, she might be able to forget.
My mom owns the clinic, so she gets to decide what they give out. She also lives in Texas, and I'm not quite sure what the state laws are, but I'm sure they'd be on her side.
Please avoid lumping all religion into the bad category. There are lots of liberal Catholics out there -- I have a whole family full of them. They are wonderful people who rarely use their faith as a weapon against others.
This is a great article on a group of Catholics who attempted to make public the fact that opinions on abortion in the Church are not monolithic and how the Vatican responded.
The "New York Times" Ad: A Case Study in Religious Feminism by Mary E. Hunt and Frances Kissling
Journal of Feminist Studies in Religion, Vol. 3, No. 1 (Spring, 1987), pp. 115-127
Published by: Indiana University Press
I would urge you to keep talking to your mom, maybe even show her that article -- it's available on JSTOR and possibly through your local college or university library. Good luck.