At the Miss America pageant last night, Miss California was asked a question about gay marriage:
“Vermont recently became the 4th state to legalize same-sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit. Why or why not?”
To which she responded:
“Well I think its great that Americans are able to choose one or the other,” she said. “We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And you know what, in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there but that’s how I was raised and that’s how I think it should be between a man and a woman. Thank you very much.”
There is plenty to say about the ordeal, from the Miss America pageant as a whole to her answer to the crowd's reaction. I would like to highlight two things that struck me:
The classic, "No offense, but..." I hear this comment all the time from colleagues, who are about to say something entirely sexist, homophopic, racist, you name it. With this disclaimer, the reaction of the person/people at whom the statement is directed is devalued, because they aren't supposed to feel offended by offensive comments. (Especially if such comments are really people just standing up for what they believe in, like Miss California is apparently doing.)
More notably, I'm finding (in discussions such as that on the CSmonitor ) the theme, "why bring up such a controversial topic in such a wholesome program?" Since when is controversial and wholesome mutually exclusive? God forbid these "wholesome" women be expected to be able to articulate thoughtful arguments about meaningful topics. They shouldn't be thinking human beings with agency, but rather pretty and one-dimensional. And why bring up "controversial" topics like same-sex marriage at all? Why not just silence the entire discussion?
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Ok, a few things:
1) We can't discount her for voicing her opinion. Yes- this is America, and while we think that some opinions are close-minded and too traditional, she has that right to hold those opinions. We must respect people who hold other opinions, because if we start to discount and devalue them, we're behaving as they are.
2) I think what bothered me more was the crowd's reaction. When the judge mentioned Vermont and Iowa, a few cheered. Whens he gave her answer, the crowd went crazy with cheering. THAT is our problem, Miss CA's personal beliefs are part of something much larger.
3) I agree with you on the usage of the term "No offense," because what often follows is rude. However, people need to be able to state what they think in a respectful way. What would suggest as an alternative?
With regard to the impact of her remarks, she went on to say: “It did cost me my crown. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I said what I feel. I stated an opinion that was true to myself and that’s all I can do. It is a very touchy subject and he is a homosexual and I see where he was coming from and I see the audience would’ve wanted me to be more politically correct,” she added. “But I was raised in a way that you can never compromise your beliefs and your opinions for anything.”
She was already using possessive pronouns regarding the crown! Ugh, I'm really sick of this sentiment that there is no personal shortcoming to blame for things falling through and it's all chalked up to political discrimination.
I think the strangest thing about it is that her sister is a gay rights activist.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30312589/
“My sister is a second lieutenant in the Air Force and she is a gay rights activist,” Carrie told Billy.
Her sister, she added, is not gay. “No. She supports gay people, she supports gay marriage. My beliefs have nothing to do with my sister or my mom, or whatever.”
So given that statement, why did she talk about her family and the way she was raised? Why can't she just claim her prejudices as her own instead of blaming them on her family who apparently does not share her beliefs and does not, in her own words, influence hers?
Unfortunate, but not too strange. Think back to Dick Cheney and his daughter....
I sincerely hope Snip isn't a genuine commenter, never seen her/him on here before and I dislike seeing homophobia on the site.
She's entitled to say whatever she wants, sure. That's called freedom of speech- which is the right not to be a criminal because of what you say. It's not the right not to be challenged on it and it's not the right not to hear someone who disagrees with you. And it's wrong to go down the line of treating opinions in the same way as race or sexuality- you might not be able to help it as a child, you might be in an environment where it doesn't change as an adult but that doesn't mean it can't change, and if you're aware of being homophobic, racist etc and you want to you can make a conscious effort to change your beliefs. In my opinion, if you can say 'no offense but' you're aware something's offensive, and that's when you should try and change your views regarding it, or at least be open to other viewpoints.
Sorry, that wasn't supposed to be a response to you. I was going to write about how 'family opinion' in the way it was phrased seemed more suited to parental opinion than children's but figured out it wasn't really relevant, then I posted a more general comment and didn't realise it was still posted as a response to yours.
Thanks for writing about this, I was hoping someone would.
“But I was raised in a way that you can never compromise your beliefs and your opinions for anything.”
What a truly disastrous philosophy. I understand the nice simplicity this statement allows, but the underpinning intent is rather horrifying. It allows for no thoughts, no questions, and no, as she so bluntly said, compromise.
However much Miss America is always a failure, proper props go to executive director of California's Miss USA operations Keith Lewis for saying, "religious beliefs have no place in politics in the Miss CA family."
More notably, I'm finding (in discussions such as that on the CSmonitor ) the theme, "why bring up such a controversial topic in such a wholesome program?" Since when is controversial and wholesome mutually exclusive?
What's wholesome about the Miss USA pageant?
Judging women on their ability to not be confrontational and look nice in a swimsuit is super wholesome!
Why is no-one picking up the complete lack of logic in her reply? How can anyone choose gay marriage if it isn't legal?
Yeah, I was about to say this. No one is mentioning this. Maybe she lost because her "opinion" is poorly articulated. Based on the quote, she seems to say that she personally thinks marriage is between a man and a woman, but she respects that this is America and people have freedom to do whatever they want. Whether this was just her inability to put together a coherent statement or what she really meant to say is another question
The " No offense" line takes the cake. If you got nothing good to say, don't say nothing at all? Miss America needs to learn her manners.
My big question is: What is "opposite" marriage? Does it have to do with magnets? Or, as another blog, I think Shakesville, suggested, Paula Abdul? Like, such as? Maps?
im surprised no one is commenting no the response from perez hilton, the judge that asked the question. his rage was clearly misogynistic (he referred to her as a bitch and a cunt).
she has a right to her pinion. don't ask her the question if you are too closed minded for the response
My goodness, you people would eat your young if given a chance! The Miss America contestant had every damn right to say what she believed. I wouldn't have been as nice as her. There is no such thing as gay rights. It's a sin. There is no need to ask such a question in such an event and there is absolutley no call for the bigotry shown toward this yound girl and her beliefs. Shame on you all.
Wow, that's a mighty privileged and othering statement Snip. Not every one here is Christian, and you have no place telling us to be shamed for -your- belief. Maybe you should stop and think about how that statement might effect people who don't share your privileged religion.
So Christians see it as a sin, fine, whatever, but the righteous way you come across has no place in a topic like this, it is increadably rude of you to try and force your beliefs on us by declaring we should be shamed for our beliefs about gay/human rights.
Because the Bible says a woman should be subordinate to men and dress conservatively should we all shut up and do that too?
My qualm with the whole thing is that she didn't even answer the question! He asked if she thought other states should follow suit and she started rambling about choice (the choice of being gay? the choice of whether or not it's legal? what's she talking about?), gay marriage vs. opposite marriage (???), and her beliefs. She wasn't asked how she was raised and what her beliefs are, she was asked if she thought other states should also legalize gay marriage. A simple "I don't believe in gay marriage and I believe it should be illegal" or "I don't believe in gay marriage, but my personal beliefs shouldn't dictate how our government is run and everyone should have equal rights regardless of their sexual orientation" would have sufficed. She lost the crown because she can't articulate an answer to a simple question.
Oh, and in regards to a comment above: "There is no such thing as gay rights." Correct, they're called human rights, and being gay doesn't suddenly mean you're not entitled to them.
Emmarie,
We all have human rights. You are equating them to gay rights and they don't exsist according to God Word. God created us to marry and mate as male and female. The body parts involved makes it very logical. God has said that a man shall not lay with another man. Therefore, mankind does not have the "right" to do something that is against the Creators' intention. Mankind has the CHOICE to do it because God gave us free will. God loves you no matter if your gay or even a murderer. He's just saddened to see you go against His will because He(all knowing) knows that it will eventually destroy you and He doesn't want that to happen. He didn't intend to control us. He did show us right from wrong and told us the consequences of each. Yep, do whatever the heck you want but, remember that you still have to pay the piper.
Hell and damnation, you are starting to sound like a troll.