Doing violence prevention work in middle and high school for over a year now, I have seen many scary, inaccurate stereotypes about sexual violence going around, but never like today I realized to what extent the schools are perpetuating false information about rape as part of the educational curriculum. During a break between two classes today I was looking at one of the Health class book for the 7th grade and stumbled upon the chapter on sexual violence. I took pictures, but I am transcribing it for clarity.
Protecting Yourself from Rape
Rape is any kind of sexual intercourse against a person’s will. Over half of rape victims know their attackers. Whenever a person is forced to have sex, whether with someone he or she knows or with a stranger, a rape has occurred. Rape is always an act of violence, and it is illegal. To protect yourself from rape, you need to recognize and avoid situations that might increase the risk of an attack, here are some suggestions.
- if you go out alone with someone, make it clear that you are not interested in any sexual activity.
- Avoid secluded places
- Don’t drink alcohol or use other drugs or date people who do.
- Always carry money so you can call home or tae a cab or bus if you feel unsafe.
People across the nation are making an effort to reduce and prevent violence. here are some of the actions they have taken
- Holding stop violence rallies
- Supporting stronger gun laws
- Installing lighting in parks and playgrounds
- Breaking up gang control of public parks
- Starting neighborhood watch programs
- Supporting teen curfew
- Teaching non violent resolution
- Assigning more police to street patrols
- Lock doors and windows when you are alone
- open the door only to people you know well
- do not give personal information over the telephone or computer
- never agree to meet alone with a person you met online
- if someone comes to the door or window and you are frightened, call 911 or the police
- never shoot firearms or pick them up, even if they are unloaded
- when you come home, have your key ready before you reach the door. Do not enter if the door is ajar or appears to have been tampered with
- never tell a stranger that you are home alone. Instead, say that your parents are busy and can’t come to the door or the phone.
- do not walk alone at night
- avoid poorly lit streets
- if you think someone is following you, get into a store or other public place
- never hitchhike or accept rides from strangers
- do not look like an easy target. Stand tall and walk with confidence
- if someone wants your money or possessions, give them up
- if you are attacked, scream and get away any way you can
- do not carry a firearm or other weapon.
I underlined some the parts I found most appalling, even though much of the premise of the idea of prevention in the book is at best inaccurate, and at worst just plain fucked up. Prevention is only seen as a potential’s victim responsibility, where each person must recognize and avoid danger. No talk of accountability or responsibility on the perpetrator’s part is even mentioned.
But besides the theoretical framing of the issue, the chapter is just spreading false information. I have worked as a gender violence advocate since 2005, and I have listened to countless stories of sexual violence, besides being a survivor myself. Most people are assaulted by someone they know, not half like the book says, but more like 70% to 80%. Most times it is a date, or an intimate person that you trust, not a stranger in a dark alley.
None of the information provided will be helpful to avoid sexual assault, it will just make the kids (and mostly girls, who feel rape is their problem) scared, and limit their freedom and mobility. How can anyone not look like an easy target? We know that people that are young, or disables, or homeless, are at a higher risk of being assaulted. Are they telling 12 year olds that they should stop looking like themselves? Or that as a disabled person, I should magically rid of my disability?
The whole chapter sets up people to feel guilty and responsible for the assault, because they should have seen it coming, or they should have been able to protect themselves. And then there is a subtle (or maybe not so subtle) racist message in the whole bit about gangs and public parks! What are they even talking about? Yes, gang rape does happen, but it is a much rarer occurrence than people being pressured into sex by who they are dating, or being assaulted by an acquaintance or even a family member.
There is no prevention, besides the decision taken by someone to not assault, to choose consensual sex, and to strive for healthy relationships. And better street lights or more cops will not cut it.
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There are also some really glaring class assumptions in this. Yuck! "Avoid poorly lit streets"? What if I LIVE on a poorly lit street?! It's yet another example of intersectional oppression. Sad sad. And like you said, it places it all on the woman, which is typical. But what about men who encounter sexual assault? Furthermore, all of these safety tips could be directed at men as to avoid a mugging or something.
Yes! I live on a poorly lit street and if I refused to walk alone at night I would have to quit work and drop out of school.
And people wonder why victims of rape blame themselves for what occurred, and need frequent reassurance that it was not their fault: we grew up reading these books!
I just remembered that my own middle school health textbook had a page like this with a list of things girls should not do with boys in order to avoid giving into URGES (a "how to remain abstinent" list, if you will). It included suggestions like "don't listen to music with boys". Seriously - who writes these textbooks!?!?
I feel conflicted about, "Do not look like an easy target. Stand tall and walk with confidence." It's an inherently good idea to stand tall and walk with confidence, but I have this knee-jerk reaction that if you do "stand tall and walk with confidence" there's going to be a counter-advice somewhere saying "don't flaunt yourself," which is a stand-by of victim-blaming.
It shouldn't be put on the victim not to look like an easy target, because we're not targets -- easy or hard. Rape isn't something that's hit or miss.
I vaguely remember that our health textbooks in jr high or high school had something in there directed at boys saying how they're not entitled to sex from a girl for any reason, such if they had spent money on her, etc. I graduated from high school in 1985. It doesn't surprise me, but it makes me very sad, that things have actually gone backwards in the last 25 years. We need to put that stuff back into the curriculum, and we need to go much farther. Most rapists aren't the kind who break into stranger's houses, they're the guys we all know and even like or care for. These boys and men need to learn that all coerced sex is rape, and that if they force a woman or girl, they're rapists. It wouldn't stop all of them, but I think it would stop some, as I don't believe most of these guys think that they're rapists. They think they're just normal guys.
I don't understand the outrage about this. Are these tips going to 100% protect girls from crimes? Of course not. But I don't think they're bad tips. Don't go in your house if the door is a bit ajar, don't tell random people you're home alone, don't hitchhike, these are all good tips.
There's lots of sketchy people out there and its not enough to just say "oh its the criminal's responsibility to stop committing crimes". Yes, they should stop committing crimes, but they won't so we have the responsibility to try to protect ourselves too.
but my goodness wouldn't it be nice to see something in out textbooks, from an early age, trying to teach boys that a relationship or friendship or acquaintance with a girl is not license to sexual contract with her body?
When we just talk about what girls and women need to do with protect themselves, we wind up making public space a safe space for men only.
This is problematic for four major reasons:
1) It's not just girls that need to do things like lock the doors when they're home alone. Boys need to do that stuff, too
2)There's no equivalent list explaining to boys what it's not okay to do to girls.
3)There's no disclaimer that one can only do so much to avoid rape, and that it might happen anyway and it's not that person's fault.
4)There are certain things that no one should EVER have to do to avoid rape. Like stay indoors at night. I have the goddamn right to take a walk down the street if I want to. Of course, one should exercise good judgement, but to unequivocally tell me not to go outside alone after sunset: not okay.
Oh and say you aren't interested in ANY sexual activity? If I want to kiss you, I can damn well do that without it meaning you can have sex with me.
And I can drink alcohol too without it meaning 'have sex with me'!!!
GAAHHH
Okay, I'm done
What the above comment said, and more:
- it's not "half of women know their rapist". It's much, much more. The most recent stat I saw was ninety-six percent. This kind of rape prevention advice is aimed at a very rare kind of rape - stranger rape - it's making other forms of rape including the most common completely invisible. It's reinforcing the image of rape as a creepy stranger jumping out at you from the shadows and holding you down while you struggle, and although this *happens* it's rare and presenting it as the only form of rape is very, very bad and means that if a woman is raped and it doesn't fit this restrictive pattern she may have a lot of difficulty recognising it as such.
- it forces the woman to live in a constant state of fear, of watching for the rapist around the corner. I mean, they demand you worry about rape every single time you open your front door and consider anybody who turns up on your doorstep a potential rapist - make it your *responsibility* to do so. Nobody can live like that on a constant basis without it seriously messing with their heads.
- it is a very easy step from here to victim-blaming. This list puts the onus completely on the woman to prevent rape, sometimes by ridiculous restrictions (I'm imagining myself telling any friend I go someplace with "and by the way, I don't want to have sex with you. Just so we're clear on that") - and, moreover, doesn't seem to acknowledge anywhere that this list is not "How to protect yourself from rape" because even if you follow each and every bit of this advice, guess what, if a guy wants to rape you you can still be raped. This kind of list means that when people hear about a woman being raped they go "oh, clearly she didn't protect herself well enough." instead of "wow, that was one sick guy to have done that to her." It makes "well, she didn't fulfill X part of the checklist, she should've known!" seem like a reasonable response. Making it all about the victim rather than the perpetrator is *messed up*.
I wonder if anyone has ever tried to write a list like this for a crime other than rape: mugging, murder, that kind of thing. Maybe that would make it more clear how ridiculous this is.
It also occurs to me that these types of lists may also serve to teach boys that if she is not following all of the above, it is fine to have sex with her without asking whether she wants to - because if she didn't want sex, she wouldn't be [drinking/kissing/out alone/etc.], would she?
"This kind of list means that when people hear about a woman being raped they go "oh, clearly she didn't protect herself well enough." instead of "wow, that was one sick guy to have done that to her." It makes "well, she didn't fulfill X part of the checklist, she should've known!" seem like a reasonable response."
This. I can't tell you how much that attitude has plagued me while I was growing up.
Amen to all this. I think I'm going to write a list for how not to get murdered:
1) Avoid all people. Always. Live on a deserted island.
Watch out for falling coconuts!
I can't do more than skim this post, lest my face explode with frustration and anger.
I can't even do more than skim this post, lest my head explode with anger and frustration. Just know I share your concerns.
That is HORRENDOUS! That is what they are teaching young women and girls in the classrooms? By all means, they are NEVER the ones to blame for such acts of violence! My goodness! This is definitely a shocker for me! Some Education! Those kids might as well fly to a deserted part of the world and live alone where the street lights are properly lit to avoid sexual violence.*Claps* ABSOLUTE FAIL!
I entirely agree that this chapter sets one up for victim blaming.
All throughout school i never got any "sex-violence prevention" talks or education. All i heard was dont do drugs and dont drink and dont hate gay people. I think what needs to be done is some intense rape-prevention programs all through out schools. Every needs to know how theyre perpetuating sex-violence. I really wished that at college that in addition to getting a gender/gay tolerance lecture that we got a lecture from a woman/ man who was a victim of sexual assault. My boyfriend was so "surprised" when he heard that 1 in 6 women are raped. I just feel like theres no awareness of rape because people dont want to talk about it. Its disgusting and i just wish i could tell every girl out there that it shouldnt be all on her shoulders to preventing rape. The guy (i know this can be switched to a girl raping a guy) needs to do his part in quelling sexism and the whole college male culture of preying on women in order to "score".
I spent a few minutes trying to accurately sum up my feelings about this, instead I will just say:
much.too.angry.honey.