(NOTE: I have a lot of complicated, possibly un-feminist, conflicting reasons for choosing to lose weight. My personal thoughts about why I lost weight are indeed interesting things to discuss, but this discussion is not about that. This is about the body I now inhabit, a body that about 3 years ago was 60 pounds heavier than it is today.)
In 2007, I was clinically obese. I am now approximately 8 pounds away from obtaining a healthy BMI rating (by the way, the BMI is not an accurate measurement of health ). I lost this weight by following the Weight Watchers eating plan and exercising regularly. I did it the “right,” a.k.a. socially accepted, way. Yet my body is still not “good enough” by popular standards. And this fact adds to the monumental amount of evidence that in this society, with this level of objectification, when we devalue women’s lives and focus instead on their bodies, “good enough” does not exist.
My stomach sags. My upper arms sag. Let’s not even talk about what this weight loss has done to my breasts. In a world where weight loss was actually an issue of health, these would be badges of honor for those who undertake this incredibly hard task. Someone with the “wings” would constantly receive compliments about how hard they must have worked, how accomplished they must feel, etc, etc.
But this is not a country that is concerned about health. This is a country that is concerned with beauty. This is a country that, as it is today, has a vested interest in keeping the hierarchies just as they are.
The answer I usually get when I talk about my post-weight-loss body to acquaintances is, “Well, you could get surgery.” And usually that is followed up with some kind of justification of plastic surgery for those who have lost weight, and a discussion about how they think Biggest Loser contestants have probably had skin removal surgery (which I would be willing to bet they have).
And this is key. We DON’T see an accurate depiction of post-weight-loss bodies. We see the perfectly taunt Biggest Loser contestants. We hear Star Jones revealing to Oprah that she got a boob job after her weight loss. We get the message that even if you put all you have into doing everything naturally possible to fit that size-2 image of perfection, you cannot reach it. Your body is there for aesthetics, you see. You need to be cut up so that the evidence of your effort isn’t there. We’ll gladly take your money in order to slim you down, carve you up, sell you that diet, that make-up, those jeans that get smaller and smaller every year.
Because as long they pretend weight loss is a “health issue” while trying to get rid of the post-weight-loss body, those at the top of the hierarchy make another dollar. So patriarchy, take a good hard look at all this skin. It’s not going anywhere.
[This is nowhere near the end of my thoughts on this issue. Coming soon: “The Post-weight-loss Body: Envy”]
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Kala, you are a badass. It's amazing that you had the dedication to lose that much weight, and admirable that while you say your reasons for losing it weren't "feminist," your stance now that it's gone certainly is. And I think that's beautiful. :)
No we don't see accurate depictions of post weight loss bodies but the good news is at least we know that! We are aware of photoshopping and surgical proponents.
The big question is, are you happy with yourself? I'm similar to you. I have the sag and ripples belly of two big pregnancies and obesity. I am now at a healthy bmi. I like me. I am more than a soggy belly.
No more than I am defined by my kids, my job, my income I am not defined by my body. I think I look great. Sure I'm working on building more muscle but I'm getting there. My body shows where I've been and what I've done over my thirty something years on this earth. I'm not denying it.
I decided long ago that I don't need to see a hollywood star's belly scars to make me feel better.
So raise up that winged arm :) and give yourself a clap on the back Kala, 60lbs isn't easy to get rid of. Congratulate yourself, you rock!
Fantastic post- I look forward to future installments! Especially your argument against the "it's for your health!" justification for fat hatred- I'm filing that away for the next time I teach about beauty standards, it's a great illustration.
I look forward to your next post, Kala!
Even your passing comment about plastic surgery seems really thought-provoking: because people will judge you for having a normal "post-weight-loss" body, and people will judge you for undertaking plastic surgery as well. It's a catch-22, even after you have come so far.
The fact of the matter is that in America, the only people who are ever entirely free from criticism are those who are always-already slender, naturally in line with the many, many standards of normative beauty.
Good work on losing the weight for yourself! You sound like you've made a positive decision for yourself which is always commendable. I'm a recovered anorexic/bulimic, so while our problems may seem like they're on opposite ends of the spectrum, but I have stretch marks, my skin is still not quite right (going from 65kgs, down to 39kgs and then back up to 50kgs over the space of a two or three years is going to leave some kind of mark) but I've finally just learned to accept my body as the awesome life-peddler it is.
Even if you can fit into that size 2 (okay, that's a fib, I'm a US4) you're still liable for nitpicking. You're too thin etc. I get more people telling me I look too thin now than I ever did when I was actually too thin.
I'm not entirely sure what the point of this was, but I guess I'm just saying kudos for you :)
Diets and diet aids do nor hekp anyone. The only way to successfully lose weight and get the body that you want is by using the right information. This information can be found in the book Lose Weight Using Four Easy Steps which can be ordered through the website www.bbotw.com Everyone who has gotten a copy of this book is now healthier.