As I was surfing the internet today I ran across this video on the front page of Yahoo.
Listen to what the three V's for being a "man" are according to Janis Spindel (a highly sought after matchmaker).
It's a good thing I stumbled into this video so I can be told that I should be focused on how women look and how superficially shallow I am. How silly of me to consider woman as anything but objects.
We need a movement for a new form of masculinity. This video is not only degrading to women, but it reinforces the abysmal, society driven, degrating form of the "masculinity" of today. As a feminist male, this clip sickens me.
0 TrackBacks
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry: The Three V's of Masculinity.
TrackBack URL for this entry: http://www.feministing.com/cgi-bin/movabletype/mt-tb.fcgi/13260
Summary for people who can't see/hear the video:
There's a millionaire guy who asked a matchmaker what the requirements for a perfect wife were.
She says men are very visual, very superficial and very shallow and want beauty, brains, body, and balance.
Tall men usually want to be with tall women, according to Ms. Matchmaker.
Her fees start at $50,000 up front and depending on how much work she has to do it goes up from there!
Writing as someone who has spent a fair amount of time on internet dating sites, I can tell you that it is VERY common to see women who say they are looking for tall, dark, handsome, and rich.
....But not too tall, he doesnt 'want to be looking down at you,' (physically that is). So 'tall' women dont forget to get that plastic surgery that conforms you to fit within the parameters of a sexist, misogyniostic ass hole. Dont forget to send in your applications and mention your new height!
I agree with the OP this video is disgusting. It only adds further credibility to the argument that the current definition of masculinity hurts women as well as men. Its annoying how whenever you try to say anything critical about masculinity other men get all defensive and think your attacking them. I definitely don't feel that way. I mean its so insulting to hear that all men are after is a woman with beauty, brains, body and balance, as she so eloquently put it. Gah, so much is messed up >.
"I definitely don't feel that way. I mean its so insulting to hear that all men are after is a woman with beauty, brains, body and balance, as she so eloquently put it"
My comment got parsed at the end. I just wanted to add that I think its crap how they keep adding to this image that if your a rich male then you can get the perfect woman who has "beauty, brains, body and balance." They also keep fueling this image that love is so elusive and you need to use all these services in order to find it like her matchmaking service.
What I think is stupid is that we once again have divided what people want in a mate based on gender. I mean, do they think no women want beauty, brains, a body, and balance? We women folk don't always require everything when choosing a mate, but neither do men.
It's also annoying how being superficial and shallow is just a guy thing when it's men, but if it's a woman... "She's so catty, stay away from that bitch." Not to mention the double standard that all women seek money and no men do...
Re: "It's also annoying how being superficial and shallow is just a guy thing when it's men, but if it's a woman... "She's so catty, stay away from that bitch." Not to mention the double standard that all women seek money and no men do..."
W-o-r-d.
I would love to hear more discussion about re-defining masculinity. Unfortunately a lot of people are more interested in reclaiming the old ways because they (men and women alike) feel like men these days are emasculated, aka pussified.
Especially in the dating world. For fun I like to listen to pick-up/seduction podcasts for men and dating podcasts geared for women. By and large both programs focus on re-establishing sort of a traditional gender role as being the more successful dating model.
I'll give some of the pick-up people a few points for talking about personal development, confidence and understanding social cues (which is really useful stuff for anyone).
But the programs for women seem by and large hit and miss and really fall back on the idea that the most important thing a woman can do is to make men feel needed and in control; the advice basically urges woman to connive and let the men take the lead by appearing to be less confident (unless we are talking about the bedroom, then you had better not be insecure) and by downplaying personal success and talents. Yuck!
But the best advice (women's dating podcast) was actually an interview with Dr. Herb Goldberg who discussed why this objectification (status and beauty) of the sexes often leads to disaster for long-term relationships.
I think this is another example of how sexism hurts not only women, but men as well. Yea, it sucks to be a woman who is constantly told that it is her "shallow visuals" only that matter, but I doubt any man wants to be told that he is naturally "shallow and superficial."