About half an hour before my shift at work was over, I overheard a mother say to her two children (a boy and girl), "C'mon, girls..." When her son (who I would place at about five or six years old) didn't respond with protest, she asked, "aren't you going to yell at me for calling you a girl?" He just looked at her and didn't respond. The mother then mentioned to her friend that he didn't protest (to her friend's disbelief) and proceeded to 'prove' it by saying again, "C'mon, girls..." Even after a second time, the little boy did not show any kind of opposition to being called a girl.
After they left the store, I wondered to myself why a grown woman would want her son to find offense to be calling a girl. To expect such anger from her son would suggest that this woman finds something wrong with being born female or she believes that the biggest insult a boy can receive is to be called 'a girl'. Furthermore, her daughter (about four or five) had to hear this entire interrogation. Imagine what kind of message that must send about gender to her young and impressionable children.
Ironically, her son didn't seem to care at all. That gave me some hope. I had to smile at his complete look of confusion at his mother's question. Despite his youth, he must understand on some level that there is nothing wrong with being a girl. I found it inspiring to see a young boy not insulted at the thought of being labeled a girl.
Because after all, there is nothing wrong with being a girl even if the world says different.
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Or the boy might be trans, and not mind being called a girl because of that. Either way, I feel sorry for both the children.
Peggy Orenstein wrote an article in the NYT a few years back (November of 2006, I think) about gender socialization that claimed that up until about 7 or so the concept of gender is not "solidified" in children. I don't know if there's science to back that up, but if it's true then perhaps the boy just didn't understand the implications of what his mother was saying. It's still sad, of course. In all likelihood he will grow up to adopt the regressive views of his mother. What a shame.
I wonder if the boy is used to being baited by his immature mother and has learned to ignore her jibes already.