Call a women's shelter or hotline and ask for advice. It doesn't have to be local. You'll probably first have to convince them that it really is your neighbor and not you in the DV situation.

I think that you did the right thing. If you hear any escalation in fighting or anything that would indicate to you that he's hurting her, call them again.

I think the fact that the police are called every time a neighbor hears domestic violence could damper the violence. Escalation usually occurs when the offender finally gets home and is away from "prying eyes." However, you live there, too, so it's unlikely that they'll feel as though they've escaped your "prying ears." (You're not prying, but you know what I mean.)

Basically, what I'm saying is that it's not your responsibility to bear witness to domestic violence and do nothing about it. Maybe, as your neighbors hear people getting involved, it will seem less "normal" and behaviors might start to change.

Wow that's awful Sarah. I understand your concern, I would be really upset too. I agree with FrumiousB: call a domestic violence hotline and ask for advice about the situation. They are dedicated professionals who deal with these kinds of situations all day, every day. I recommend the National Domestic Violence Hotline. It's 24/7 immediate assistance.

I was going to suggest giving her the number of a crisis line and then saw that you've already thought of that. Does your apartment have a billboard anywhere where you can post a noticeable poster with the number?
I agree with the others. Crisis lines aren't just for people experiencing violence. People who know someone who's experiencing violence can call too.

You can also check online and see if there is a Family Justice Center in your area - they could be another good resource.

Family Justice Centers combine law enforcement, medical care, family court, relocation assistance, etc. all under one roof so women can get the help they need as quickly as possible. I don't know if you live in TX or if that is just part of your profile name, but there is a center in San Antonio:

http://www.bcfjc.org/

Good luck in your efforts!

Thanks to everyone for their suggestions. I had a disappointing experience calling a crisis hotline in the past (unfortunately this is not the first time I've lived by a DV situation), but I will try calling another one.
lyndorr, I like your suggestion about posting a post with the number. My complex has a bulletin board in the mail room, so I will post something there. I just want the woman to know she's not alone.

hi,
I was in a very similar situation a couple of years ago, but the police were much more effective. The husband refused to open the door, so they threatened to break the door down!

Definitely call a hotline for advice. And I'd call the cops again if you hear something that makes you think the woman is in danger. Also, I'd suggest finding out what the police are supposed to do in such a situation. I'm really shocked that they said they couldn't do anything because the couple wouldn't open their door. Though i'm sure it differs by state, many states have very robust policies for dealing with suspected domestic violence, and the police might have neglected their responsibilities.

I'm sorry - i understand how horrible it feels to witness domestic violence and not feel effective in stopping it. I hope that everything turns out ok. And make sure you stay safe!

If your complex has a laundry room in the basement or whatever, I recommend posting something there. It's often just women who do laundry (yay patriarchy), so there's a greater chance of your neighbour being alone and able to take a good look at the information.

You did the right thing by calling. Keep doing it.

Even if the police handle it badly, even if they don't answer the door, it's important that this woman knows she's not in a vacuum and not alone. Abuse is very isolating and crazy-making. When I left an abusive situation, I really and truly needed the validation from other people that the situation was as messed up as it was before I could take any action.

I agree that posting something in the laundry room is a good idea.

I've dealt with this situation before with my upstairs neighbor, who will be hereby referred to as The Douchebag Upstairs(So coined by my boyfriend) After I came home from work one night, Boyfriend, a friend of ours over to do laundry, and myself heard him screaming and running across the apartment and a woman screaming. Boyfriend and friend went upstairs to confront the dude and TDU just kept apologizing for the noise (WTF? How about apologizing for at the very least threatening your girlfriend?) but would not allow Boyfriend to lay eyes on his girlfriend. He would not allow her to come to the door (Boyfriend wants to see if she was alright). When that happened, Boyfriend called down to me to call the cops, and I did.

The police showed up and talk to TDU and looked at his girlfriend, who showed now signs of injury (which means he had to have made her clean herself up, no doubt employing some kind of threat) and since she had no visible injuries, there was no evidence to take TDU into custody. The police left, not taking so much as a statement from Boyfriend, friend, or myself.

I didn't hear him again for a while after that, but I was afraid of retaliation. Boyfriend had to escort me into our own apartment when I came home at night. I'd had enough, and went to the landlady about it, because I was tired of feeling scared being in my own home and being afraid of my neighbor, and certainly not when I pay an obnoxious amount per month in rent. She told me to keep her updated, and at the very least she was no going to renew his lease, which was up at the end of July. If he did it again, she would evict him.

I haven't seen TDU's (former?) girlfriend around, nor have I heard her. He's still a douchebag, though.

I was in a similar situation, except i was the one being abused. I once let out a scream that i didn't know i could make, as a knife was being held to my neck.

no one ever called the police. not once.

keep calling the police...she will wake up one day and realize there are people that can help her.

keep calling...i wish someone hasd called for me.

So they are always together when they are out, but is there ever a time when you know that he's definitely not there, but she may be? i.e. I would make sure that you actually see him drive away before ever knocking on that door for your own protection. Then you could hand her the card with the number.
If you are able to hand it to her personally (and thus explain what it is), there are ways you can label it to make it look innocuous. Like "floral shop" or something that he wouldn't be interested in but not suspicious of.

I really like the laundry room suggestion. I would put up one that says "Does your boyfriend get angry?" or "Have you ever been hit when he gets mad?" Sometimes people in these situations have a hard time thinking of their situation as being Domestic Violence because many of them get mixed messages of anger/affection. "Sometimes he's nice to me, other times he's mean."

Call the DV center to verify that their phone number will not show up on caller ID, and if this is the case, then emphasis that on your flyer, so she'll know she won't get caught for calling.

I would not tell the landlord. This could lead to the couple being evicted or asked to leave, and I don't see how that would help the situation.

In case everyone is curious, I called the National Domestic Violence hotline yesterday. The woman I spoke to said that I should call the police every time I heard any shouting - even if I am not sure whether the man is being violent. Fortunately, I haven't heard anything since Sunday. Hopefully my first call to the police was enough to scare the guy for a while.
I also posted a flyer with the number for the National DV hotline in the laundry room. Hopefully the woman will see it. And who knows, it may end up helping someone else as well.
I decided against telling my landlord about the situation, because I doubt they would be helpful over and above what the police could do.
Thanks again to everyone for your suggestions.

I was once in this situation. I was living on the 8th floor of an apartment building with paper-thin walls. I'd heard a lot of commotion next door all week, but nothing to alarm me unduly. As I was studying one night, I again heard the commotion with a "Don't cut me! Don't cut me!" screamed loudly by a woman.

So I called the cops. Twenty-five minutes later they came, knocked on the neighbor's door, went inside (I could see out the wide-angle keyhole lens in my door) and I could hear them all talking.

Ten minutes later, one cop then came back out, knocked on my door, and told me that the people next door had denied everything -- man and woman. Of course. I could tell that he wanted to believe me, but that his arms were tied. So the cops left and I never did hear anything else from next door.

Does that mean that the fellow stopped his abuse? Or that the woman was made to keep quiet? Or that they just moved and made it someone else's problem?

I lived in fear for weeks afterwards. I had to pass their door on my way to the elevator. I was afraid the man would come out and menace me for interfering. So I studied the hallway before exiting my apartment and scurried in the other direction, walking down all eight flights of stairs. When I wanted to come home, I took the elevator to the seventh floor and walked up a flight so that I wouldn't have to pass their door, all the while with senses on high alert.

This was in the days before hotlines were widely known, and while I was still a somewhat naive person.

I'd interfere again in a heartbeat. But I'd also have very strong words with any police officer who identified me to the suspect as being the one who made the phone call.

We need to look out for each other, even if the 'victim' doesn't want it at the time.

Follow this up with the police next time you hear anything untoward next door. Good luck.

It chills me to the bone to think that if I were being beaten to death in my home, the cops wouldn't come rescue me because I couldn't get to the door.

I'm also surprised that you can't report incidences anonymously.

We all really need to start advocating for proper police responses to domestic violence.

I'm sorry that I don't have good advice for you, and I'm really sorry that you're in this situation. Getting an envelope to her, with everything she needs to escape to a shelter is good, but of course it's really risky.

I wish that using an audio recorder when the shouting was heard, was something that would be admissible in court. That way there would be proof and the cops couldn't leave. If you call the cops while he's screaming, can you hold the phone up to the wall so he can hear it?