Anyone who knows me knows that I love to wear dresses and skirts. Poufy ones, skinny ones, every color of the rainbow – and, in general, the shorter the better. Now, before anyone makes any sort of “oh, you must wear short skirts because you WANT attention” remarks, I would like to make it EXTERMELY clear that this is not the case. I wear skirts because I love my body, and in particular I love my legs. I love the feel of having sunshine on my bare skin, and I love how skirts look on me. I feel good when I wear a skirt – much better and much more confident than when I'm wearing a pair of pants. They are so much more flattering on my body and so much easier to move in than a pair of jeans. At least, that's my opinion. I really could care less about what other people think of my appearance.
That being said, I cannot express how utterly sick and tired I am of getting catcalled and harassed by men on the street who seem to think that it's their right to make obscene comments on my appearance, the way I walk, and what they would like to do to me. What, do they expect me to lie down and spread my legs in the air for them because I chose to wear something that makes me feel good? No thanks – I actually have self-respect. While I understand and have no problem with the fact that many women wear short skirts in order to attract attention, a short skirt is not and should not be considered an indicator of a woman's sexual proclivities. Note that most men who catcall say only what they would like to do TO a woman – not what they would like to do WITH her. As if women are objects to be used at will. Just because I am wearing a particular article of clothing does not mean that I am an object to be fucked, no matter how much “easy access” a skirt provides or what the behavior of other women has been in the past. Nor does it mean that I am a brainless ditz – in fact, I am a pre-law student who is double majoring while working between 6 and 20 hours per week on top of that. Even if I was unintelligent, that still wouldn't give anyone the right to make assumptions about me based on my appearance. Yes, in many cases the only judgment we are able to make about other people is based on their appearance, but that doesn't make it right. Just because societal stereotypes dictate that a woman in a skirt is fair game for any man doesn’t mean it’s true.
To those people who would argue that since I know what kind of attention I will receive while wearing a skirt, I should either stop wearing skirts or stop complaining, I say screw you. Screw you for denying me my agency in choosing what to wear. Screw you for telling me that I deserve what I get for wearing something that makes me feel good. Screw you for participating in exactly the same type of victim-blaming mentality that leads to rape victims being blamed for their rapes. Because that's what this really is – saying that a woman shouldn't complain about men harassing her on the street if they find her to be attractive is only one step away from saying that a woman shouldn't complain about being raped if her rapist found whatever she was wearing to be “provocative.” The most pathetic thing about people who make this type of statement is that they tend to be women, at least in my experience. How ironic that women are perpetuating the very stereotypes bandied about by the patriarchy, stereotypes created specifically to keep women “in their place” and remove all the blame from men.
Speaking of responsibility, whatever happened to men acknowledging their part in creating problems like this? Unless we accept the (obviously incorrect) premise that men have absolutely no control over their own behavior, we must admit that there is no good reason why men would feel the need to sexually harass women on the street. However, I have yet to hear a man tell another man that he is wrong for making inappropriate, sexually explicit remarks to a complete stranger. Why is this, I wonder? I know that there are many men who would never think to harass a woman on the street, but why is it that these men never speak up when they see other men doing so? True, it’s not their job to police other men’s behavior, but it seems a bit hypocritical to me when men tell women that they think catcalls are inappropriate and vulgar, but don’t do anything about it. I’m not saying that I can’t defend myself against these types of remarks, but that I feel like I shouldn’t have to since they shouldn’t occur in the first place. Just because a man finds a woman attractive does not give him the right to make her feel uncomfortable in a public setting that she has every right to be in, and if other men supposedly think that this is inappropriate too then they should actually do something about it.
I will continue wearing skirts of every shape and size whenever I please, even though I know that I will have to deal with men whistling, catcalling, making lewd remarks, and even following me down the street in their cars. I am not afraid of these men and I will be damned before I allow a bunch of adolescent minded idiots to prevent me from dressing any way I please. I just wish that we lived in a society that valued women for their intellect and accomplishments rather than one which bases a woman’s worth solely on her appearance.
Crossposted at Welcome to the Third Wave.
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This reminds me of a similar monologue in The Vagina Monologues. I also wear & love super short skirts :D
I'm glad that the reference was obvious! I purposely used the same title as one of the monologues from The Vagina Monologues because I think that that particular piece is not harsh enough on the men who participate in this behavior and I wanted to contrast it with mine.
Great post. I also wear short skirts in the summer. Partly because I also love my legs but mostly to keep cool as I get hot easily. I've never had anyone catcall me though but I imagine I'd feel the same way about it.
Amen.
Good post!
When I wore skirts a lot, some people close to me would give me a hard time for dressing too "sexy" or too "provocative". I couldn't get some of them to understand that I wasn't wearing them to be sexy, but because I think they're so comfortable.
Cute story, I went to a drag party recently with a few of my male friends who borrowed some of my skirts, and they couldn't stop talking about how comfortable it felt :)
I've been faced with the exact same problem. Why, just yesterday I went out with a friend and wore a short dress, and there was a lot of catcalling. May be those people think I find it flattering, and actually do enjoy it when just a single look at my face (though that would require them to look at my face) makes it obvious that I don't. I think many people who catcall don't even care whether their comments have a positive effect or not. And its not like the catcalling and the nasty comments can be interpreted as a misguided attempt at meeting a woman - just think of the men who whistle out of cars at passerbys.
What I suggest is, if you feel safe in the specific situation, talk back. If a guy comments: "Short skirt, that one must get around" turn to him and say "I see you are a man holding a beer. You must be an alcoholic. See, I can stereotype too." Don't curse of yell (though I confess to having done that before). When you actually reply it really stomps people, and it will make you feel like you didnt "just take it."
That being said, I would only talk back to these people if I felt VERY safe in my environment. I am not trying to draw the catcaller - assailant parallel, but safety comes first.
To fingercrust - I often feel like not being able to wear a skirt or a dress is one of those areas where sexism really hurts men - as comfy as athletic shorts may be, nothing beats a skirt!
I think they ought to make it illegal to catcall. Anyone who does that, gets fired.
I think even if there was such a law passed, it'd be one of those laws that are never enforced. I wouldnt even be surprised if some jurisdictions do have this kind of law on the books. But how do you envision the enforcement of it? When even rape is often hard to prove, how much harder would it be with cat calling? Besides, even if it was illegal and everyone knew it, I doubt many women would dial 911 the second someone yells something at them in the street. So, unfortunately, I doubt this would really work in practical terms.
I'd say that can catch it by video taping the incident, or via mass witness as many women can be catcalled all at the same time, or a man can go from one woman to the next when the women are within touching distance of one another. I'm sure a few cases would go through in which the women could sue and make it enough of a problem for the company to start strongly monitoring the behavior of the workers.
Why can't women sue the construction company for obvious sexual harassment? Make 'em pay? I'm sure the loss of income would promt them to make laws preventing it.
Well, it actually depends on the laws of the state that the harassment occurs in. Harassment is usually defined as multiple incidents from the same person. If a woman cannot identify the person who is harassing her and also prove that he is doing so persistently, then she doesn't have a case. The problem with suing the construction company is an issue of liability. Usually you can only sue a company for sexual harassment if you actually work for the company, and even then it depends on which statute you're basing your case on. There is also the possibility of suing under general anti-harassment laws, but again such cases are usually not taken seriously for the police. Note the post recently added to the community pages about VA Beach and the harassment of women by Christian fundamentalists - the police even said that women deserve to be called whores.
It's pathetic that the law offers little to no recourse for women in cases like this, but it is sadly reality. All the more reason to try to change the social stereotypes that are the root of this type of behavior.
I completely agree and I love the feeling of wearing a skirt.
Out of curiosity, though: are there any outifts that you would consider inappropriate? Is there a threshold? Is it completely subjective? Is there an age at which it's appropriate and an age at which it's not? Are there outfits you wouldn't want your daughter to wear?
(These are just questions that zoom through my mind on a daily basis and I'd love to get others' input).
I would consider, not so much 'inappropriate' but wrong for a kid to wear is what I saw a girl wearing a while back. She had make-up on (looked to be about 5) and looked really 'dolled up.' It wasn't just 5 year old trying on make-up for a laugh either. She had a halter top on and I felt it a little disabling (disempowering) to the girl. Its liek saying my daughters only valued for her looks, not for her awesome throwing arm or savvy mind. I think some of the outfits sellers are making that explicitly sexually objectify girls, like sayings on shirts that say 'jail bait' or what have you are wrong.
I think that appropriateness of a given outfit depends on the age and surroundings of the woman wearing it. Obviously it is a tad inappropriate to wear a mini-dress to a business situation, but it would be perfectly acceptable to do so on a casual summer day or when going out at night. I do think that there are many young girls who dress in a style much to old for their age. Although there is nothing wrong with wearing a short skirt, to do so at a young age is to perpetuate the sexualization and objectification of girls, which is most definitely inappropriate.
That, my dear, was very awesome to read!!
I get the feeling you would be catcalled even if you were wearing trousers. I hate skirts but love jeans (because I like my bum better than my legs) and still get comments from creeps. My theory is that some men can't handle it when a woman is obviously confident (and might actually turn them down if they hit on them) so they try and take their control back by leering.
That's not it at all.
They are reacting to a woman with her body on display - it has nothing to do with her confidence or attitude or anything like that.
It really has nothing to do with the woman as a person at all.
When men catcall in groups, they are engaging in a ritualized display of their sexuality - men are expected to be sexually aggressive at all times, and it's often necessary for men to make a public display of that sexual aggression to their male peers.
Another part of it is that men are socialized to be a whole lot more sexualized than women are - so most men are chronically sex starved. When they see an attractive women walking by - especially if sexualized parts of her body are put on display by her clothes - they have a sexual reaction.
That's just as true of men who never catcall as it is of those who do.
What. The Fuck. Hello victim blaming!
It is not a woman's repsonsibility to stop dressing in a certain way to stop getting a reaction out of men. Their reaction has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with power.
Women get catcalled whether they are wearing a short skirt or baggy trackpants and a hoodie. It has to do with showing ownership in the public sphere and intimadating the women, not any sexual reponse.
I haven't worn a short skirt in years.
In high school I was riding on the bus at night with a bunch of friends and some asshole pulled my skirt up. I totally agree with you that its not enough for the "nice" mean to just say "oh, I wouldn't do that" and not actually step up when they see it. When that happened to me the guys I was with just laughed and thought it was great.. gee thanks.
Mayb
Wow. Thats fucked. What a bunch of assholes.
Yeah it was kind of traumatizing.. :(
I suppose that in many cases if you were to reduce a compliment and a cat call down to raw text, they might look identical. However that would be ignoring the concept of 'connotation'. Sure if you look at just the dictionary definition it's a compliment, but I'm sure it obvious that it isn't really meant that way because of the way it is said. Men who try to defend themselves by pretending it was meant as a concept when anybody who's not secretly a computer could sense the intent, are really just being bigger assholes than by the harassment alone.
Oh my god thank you for posting this. I wear shorts for the same reason, and plus in Texas it is WAY too hot to wear anything else. This is my biggest hate next to litters and I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.
So it's OK for you to expose your legs to public view - but it's wrong for men to have any sort of reaction to them?
As you already know, based on the gender programming straight American men grow up with, they are going to react to seeing a woman walking around with the sexualized parts of her body exposed, and that reaction is going to be a purely sexual reaction.
But, it appears to be your view that that's horrible and wrong - they're not supposed to have sexual thoughts about you and your legs, even though your legs are clearly visible to them.
Now, maybe in your mind, there is a disconnect between exposing your legs to public view and straight men having a sexual reaction to that - but most straight men in this country do not share that view.
Of course, you've already found that out the hard way.
Remember, this society trains men that it's OK for us to be sexual, and it's OK for us to think about sex all of the time, with anybody, anywhere, any time.
This society also trains women to be nonsexual most of the time, and to not think about sex (except in the context of a respectable long term relationship with an appropriate partner).
This creates a lot of problems between genders - especially when it comes to sex.
Men generally want it more than women do (there are exceptions, but that's the general rule) and men are always trying to get as much sex as they can while women are constantly avoiding male sexuality.
So, you may think of your fashion choice as nonsexual - but be aware that to men, your decision to expose a very sexual part of your body to public view is a purely sexual thing.
And, since most straight men wish women were as openly sexual as we are, men will react to your bare legs.
Of course, your gender training to be non sexual and anti sexual will lead to you resenting and hating those men for imposing their bestial sexual thoughts on your pure non sexual body, because they're not supposed to think about you sexually since you're not in a relationship with them.
I'm not saying you should cover your legs.
But it might be useful to understand WHY it so repulses you that men react sexually to you exposing your legs to public view, an act that - to most men - is an unambiguously sexually provocative act.
Now, let me step off the soapbox [yeah, I know folks are going to say I was "mansplaning" here] and ask you some questions.
How do you expect men to react to your bare legs?
Is it OK for men to look?
If not, why not?
Is it OK for them to comment?
If not, why not?
Is it OK for men to think sexual thoughts about you based on seeing your bare exposed legs?
If not, why not?
There is a monumental difference between privately finding someone attractive and attempting to assert dominance by yelling out for the world to hear that you view them as a sexual object.
Its totally fine for a guy/girl to see another guy/girl and think "wow, they're sexy!" and think naughty thoughts inside their heads. That's just what people do.
Its not fine for somebody to yell "hey sexy, wanna fuck" or "wooohoo lift your skirt" out a car window as they drive by.
Truthfully, I don't mind guys looking. Hell, I look at hot guys. People look at other people-that's just human nature. No, I mind it when people leer at me like I'm a piece of meat, honk at me and scare the shit out of me, follow me in their car and try to get me in with them, yell at me, and generally scare me and make me feel like I'm a piece of fuckable meat.
There's looking, and then there's being a jerk.
Just because society trains people to think that way does not make it okay. Society also accepts rape within marriage. Want to defend that as well?
The point is made in the original post. They are not accepting that she is a human being who one can relate to but a thing to be used and abused. It also has nothing to do with "open sexuality", unless of course your view of sexuality includes nonconsensual and objectification.
And since when have legs been sexual? Last time I checked I used them to, you know, walk and stuff.
Men catcalling is repulsive because women are actually HUMAN who don't actually like ebing treated like walking sex dolls. I know, yet another radical concept.
It's BS like you are spouting that leads to victim blaming and support of rapists. You're disgusting.
Well said!
Actually, I think it's perfectly acceptable for men to check me out as I walk down the street. I know I often ogle men that I find attractive. It is the type of reaction many men have in response to attraction that I object to. There are many non-offensive ways to convey attraction to another human being that do not include catcalling. If a man on the street tells me that I "look beautiful" or says that he likes what I am wearing (which also often occurs), that is completely different from a man telling me that he wants to "tap that shit" or following me several blocks in his car while leering out the window as I walk down the street. Tone, word choice, and intent are everything. There is a huge difference to being admired as attractive and being reduced to little more than an object.
I would also like to correct you on your assumption that because I have female genitalia, I am not a sexual being. In fact, it is quite the opposite. Sexual impulses and drives are perfectly natural biological responses, and I celebrate mine. They are an indication that I am a normal, functioning human being. Not to mention the fact that sex is an extremely enjoyable activity and I think it is a shame that our society teaches us to be ashamed of it. Of course, you will now tell me that since I enjoy sex, I deserve to be harassed and treated as a sexual object. After all, if I'm not (as you supposed) the Madonna, I must therefore fulfill the only other role our society deems acceptable for women - that of the Whore. In which case I refer you to the "screw you" section of my post.
What I find most interesting about your comment is not that you point out the underlying societal cause of men's reaction to women in the street - a particularly obvious fact - but that you do not object to the propagation of societal stereotypes. You expect me, in that oh-so-condescending tone of yours, to exclaim "Oh, of course! Society trains men to react vulgarly to my legs, so therefore I musn't object to it!" When in fact I am objecting to (and will continue to object to) both the behavior itself and the underlying cause. Just because the heteronormative patriarchal values that dictate men's reactions exist does not make them right. Nor does it mean that men are incapable of overcoming societal scripts when interacting with the opposite gender - the underlying causes are societal, not biological, which means that they can be changed. Instead of giving excuses for your gender, perhaps you should work on improving gender relations in such a way that men's exhibition of attraction is not so objectionable.
p.s. I would also suggest that before you respond to this comment, you read the entire original post instead of making assumptions. If you do so, it will be revealed to you that I either already addressed or did not actually say the majority of what you base your argument on.
I find that more often than not, when men make comments on my appearance in the street, they're doing it to get my attention...so if someone says "hey, you have great legs!" or "smile, beautiful!" when I walk by in a short skirt or in ANYTHING I look hot in, I graciously say thanks or smile. More often than not, a simple gesture neutralizes the situation . In rare instances, I've had some creepy guy follow me down the street, but this is NYC...you're gonna find creepy guys wherever you go, no matter what you're wearing, and if they're feeling attention starved or just wanna make a show of how "manly" they are, they're gonna holla at you anyway.
I've had some nasty things said to me, too--and I've threatened to bust a few heads, given some one finger salutes, thrown a few cups of coffee, whatever. But more often than not, it's harmless. I don't feel objectified by catcalls or whistles or (non offensive) comments because I don't define myself by others' view of me. I'm my own, self contained and self defined person, so if you think I'm cute--Hey, thanks for the shout out! I think I'm cute, too. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to class!
Doesn't change my mood, my routine, or my wardrobe.
I don't think being whistled at is the worst thing that could ever happen to you. I've found 9 times out of 10, it's just boys showing off for other boys; same stuff they did on the school yard taking place on the construction site. I just wave or laugh, or tell them to get back to work...and most often, they laugh too, tell me to have a nice day.
But it's not funny. Why should women be objectified on the street? Men aren't. It's because, despite supposed equality, women are still considered public property once they are in the public sphere. It has nothing to do with how you look.
EVERYBODY looks at everybody unless you're afraid of stepping in dog poop and walk looking down all the time... but men are more vociferous in an attempt to display this idea of "manliness". It's stupid, but what I'm saying that in some instances, it is harmless and causes you more grief getting mad over it instead of brushing it off.
Not to say that the disgusting demeaning quips like "let me tap that" or my personal favorite "you know what i could do with an ass like that?" AREN'T objectifying and inappropriate, but do you think those are the kinds of people that have an overwhelming sense of respect for anyone else? Probably not class valedictorian and an Eagle Scout. just saying.
When it comes to men saying gross, disrespectful things to women on the street, there is no question that they're pigs. But I can guarantee that characters like that are not fine, upstanding, respectful citizens to people of any gender or persuasion to begin with.
I've been to plenty of baseball games, and the same type of guy to holler something rude on the street is the same kind to hurl an obscenity at a ball game regardless if there's a family or a nun with a beer and a cell phone (true story) sitting in the row in front of them. They're just loud jerks, period...their piggishness is not limited to their approach to women.
These are the kind of morons who will elbow each other and chortle when they see my dog lift his leg on the street, for crying out loud. They're Neanderthals. They react to everything in a vulgar fashion, because they are coarse and vulgar....and whomever brought them up at home allowed them to be.
Unfortunately, there is no way to weed out all of the cretins in society, so the best thing to do is just ignore them or in the case of less offensive commentary, diffuse the situation before it becomes one.
The reason I choose this is because no amount of idealogy is going to give me the power to control other people or every situation I encounter. Sometimes a man is just trying to get my attention but he's not being nasty about it, but it's obvious he's looking at me and addressing me to get some attention. Should I flip this guy off when he hasn't done anything offensive? That makes ME a jerk. It's easier to laugh it off.
However, if someone says something nasty or demeaning if you can't ignore it, hell, throw a brick at him. Maybe something will teach his behind some manners!
I'm just saying if I had to go thru life walking around every day with the feeling that half of the population was waiting to prey upon my person or trying to demean my sense of self ownership by looking at me on the street or talking to me, I'd start sporting a burka and refusing to leave the house without my fiancé in tow to protect me.
In an instance when it's NOT a nasty, offensive, demeaning or dehumanizing comment, I still think the best thing to do is give them some heckling right back or take it graciously, keep it neutral, and keep it moving.
"How do you expect men to react to your bare legs?"
I don't think of legs as being sexual. Today, kids are allowed to wear shorts that expose their legs, so our society has moved from sexualizing legs in a taboo kind of way. So I would not expect a sexual reaction to seeing a woman's legs. Maybe nearly a century ago when women's skirts started rising – especially at burlesque shows – legs were considered a very sexual part of the body. Before that, in Victorian times it was considered appropriate even for society ladies to show ample cleavage, but the ankle was unthinkable because it was too sexual. But now there are so many body parts showing in our pop culture, it is more of a matter of personal opinion what is a sexy part of the body and what is not.
There are still two areas that are taboo in American society. Kids are supposed to cover their butts, and girls their breasts, so obviously our society still sees those as sexually taboo areas. Therefore I would agree that it's okay to show surprised sexual thoughts about a grown woman exposing her vagina or nipples. However, it does NOT mean that she deserves to be touched or groped in any way.
Also, people of all genders wear shorts in the summer because it is hot, not because they want to show off their "bare legs." Shorts aren't allowed in many workplaces, so some women may choose to wear a short skirt instead of shorts so she's not sweating on her walk to work.
"Is it OK for men to look?"
It is okay to quickly notice. I mean no one has to avert their eyes and stare at the ground, however it is most polite to rest the gaze on the face of the person you are speaking to. Blatently looking someone up and down, or staring at specific body parts is generally not respectful.
"If not, why not?"
When I am sexual, I want to have a say in who it is with. Sex should occur between people who are mutually attracted to one another. Trying to make someone be attracted to you who isn't is just wrong. If the person is clearly not attracted to you, you should stop bothering them. I don't think it's harassment if you don't know they don't like you. But as soon as you see someone is uncomfortable, as a fellow human being, I would think you would want them to not be uncomfortable, or feel bad that what you did/said made them feel that way.
If you catcall to your girlfriend, or some girl that you know likes you then that is a completely different story. You know she likes you and therefore there is mutual attraction. It's not bad to be sexual or think sexual thoughts. It's the consent that is important. I don't want people thinking of me sexually if I'm not interested in them. I know I have no control over what they think in their own minds, but I just don't want it expressed to me because it's intrusive. Why? Because I want to have a say in WHEN I'm sexual. Sex is rarely ever on my mind, and I hate to have to be constantly reminded that my body is sexual, when that is just simply one part of me. Why should I have to think about sex every time I'm in public because some guy forces me to think about it? What if I'm on my way to a somber event like a funeral? What if I'm on my way back from a support group for survivors of sexual assault? It's not that sex will make me feel dirty – I don't think sex is morally wrong – it's the non-consentual part of feeling like there's some nasty guy who doesn't respect me as a person.
I think they ought to try to find out if I like them by a more subtle approach instead of embarrassing me and making me feel scared that someone might try to attack me. Yes, the main reason this is off putting is because IT'S SCARY! Unwanted attention by men many times ends up putting women in very uncomfortable and frightening situations, sometimes they end up getting an unwanted touch. When it's said in such a loud aggressive manner, it can make a woman fear that she could be easily taken advantage of. Especially if she is by herself and there is a whole group of guys yelling obscenities at her. How do you know that she hasn't been mugged last week or gang raped? Can you see that she may feel threatened?
So that said, leave the women who are strangers alone. If you want to look at women there's plenty of more appropriate places to look. If you really want to stare, then watch some porn, go to a strip club, read an adult magazine. But don't bother the women who choose to not be in that type of atmosphere.
Someone made a good point with the public sphere. Women should feel free to go about their business in public without having to worry about this stuff. Getting hit on is more expected at pick-up joints like bars where people generally go to meet people – but even at bars they should still be respectful. Flirting is different from catcalling and leering.
Catcalling to women before getting to know them as rational human beings is a little bit like having BDSM sex before kissing or any foreplay. First, it's putting the cart before the horse, and second they are both more extreme/rough/aggressive and usually include a dominant/submissive dichotomy. Some people enjoy the catcalling or BDSM while many do not.
If you want to be around saucy women who have a higher tolerance for that stuff – try a renaissance faire. But not all women there are going to be okay with it either.
In general, men need to account for the fact that a lot of women are asexual or lesbians. So first make sure she is interested in men, then make sure she is interested in you.
I should also add that I'm a lesbian, who gets very attracted to certain women, but I have the maturity to be respectful, not stare, look women in the eye, listen to what they have to say and try to figure out if they have any interest before I start flirting at all. And by flirting I mean light friendly banter. And if I ever get the slightest notion that she is uncomfortable, I back off immediately. I never comment on a woman's body part unless she starts talking about her body first. If I can do it, men can do it. Men can control themselves, they just have to want to do so.
Fortunately I happen to have some straight male friends who admit to having a lot of sexual thoughts and feelings AND are entirely respectful in their behavior towards women. I have a lot of respect for these men.
>>"I don't think of legs as being sexual. Today, kids are allowed to wear shorts that expose their legs, so our society has moved from sexualizing legs in a taboo kind of way."
Era,
You personally may not think of legs as being sexual, but you are in the minority on this because most people(ESPECIALLY Men)do! Men have always admired womens legs sexually, for what reason I dont know. Furthermore I think that you drew a very bad analogy by mentioning children because Normal adults do not view children's bodies sexually.Women arent as visually oriented as men are when it comes to what they find sexually attractive which is why you may find it hard too understand why men admire certain parts of womens bodies in particular.
>>"When I am sexual, I want to have a say in who it is with. Sex should occur between people who are mutually attracted to one another."
Thats understandable Era, but we are NOT talking about actual intercourse here. We are discussing what women wear in public where ANYONE can look at them. I think that most women do understand that wearing a short skirt(or less)makes them look sexy which is major reason why they do it in the first place. I mean surely you've heard the female stock phrase "if you've got it, flaunt it!"
before. The trouble is that if you choose to dress sexy and show off, you CANNOT have complete control over who pays attention to you so if you are going to dress like that you need to know how to cope with unwanted attention.
And yes there are women who are asexual and I happen to know some of them. The ones I know do not go around showing off their bodies and/or dressing sexy(including mini skirts) because they dont like that kind of attention from male strangers.