At my old school in Montville, NJ, a senior was suspended for partaking in a May Madness contest, and he thinks that the punishment was too harsh. In this contest, boys rate girls on their appearance in a March Madness-style bracket.
Normally, I wouldn't write about a story like this, although it is highly sexist. However, there's a catch to it that really gets me: my own brother's started the contest about five years ago. This story has been on websites for USAToday, ABC's Eyewitness News, and others. It is quite humiliating that not only are people actually sympathetic to the kid who got in trouble, but my own brothers are proud of their newfound "fame" and the attention this story is getting.
As a feminist, this is very hard for me to deal with. Both of my brothers are older than me, and despite my many attempts to tell them why some of their beliefs and actions are misogynistic, I feel like nothing I say will change them and they'll only further isolate me more for speaking out.
I write this as not only a feminist, but someone in need of advice on dealing with this negative attention. Here's an article about the story.
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In the article, it mentioned that some of the girls at that high school responded by making a "hot boy contest."
It seems to me that this is just some sexy, juvenile fun, and that both genders saw it as just a stupid joke. Can you explain how it was misogynistic?
Also, a hypothetical situation; if it was the girls who made the "hottest boy contest" first, and the boys who made their own version in response, would your opinions be different? If so, why?
It was offensive because it is objectifying women by judging them on their appearance and rating them like they are some kind of goddamn sport. The women don't sign up for this (even then it would not be ok), they simply attend this school. It is really disgusting. The person who tries to justify this behavior by making the comment about the "hot boy contest" is the male participant in this madness contest, so we don't know how much validity there is to this. It also does make a difference that it was "in response" because it sounds like if it was true that some girls decided to try to even things up in a misguided attempt by objectifying the boys back. As a female being given a score and pitted against other women (actually, girls) by boys with over developed attitudes of entitlement doesn't sound sexy and it doesn't sound fun. It does sound like just another example of men believing that women are sexual objects that exist for their amusement. I am sorry that that person who posted this has brothers like this but want to commend her on not adopting the same sexist views her brothers have.
If there was a competing hot boy contest, the principal should punish the girls who set it up. People worry about their looks in high school enough, they don't need a bracket to make them focus on them even more.
Don't get me wrong, I've played the "____ or ____" game with my friends too, but when it becomes systematic and semi-public, it can hurt somebody.
Wow, braves I'm really sorry. This must be tough to deal with. First, I want to respond to burning and then I'll get back to you.
I'm glad you asked how it's misogynistic. I think we tend to through these words around a lot so that we know when they apply but we forget why they apply. Or at least, that's what happens to me. So it's good to go over this. I think it's misogynistic because, like cicada says, it objectifies women, reduces them to sexual objects, bases their worth on how much these men find them attractive, etc etc. And I think it's important to remember that it is NOT okay that the women did this either, it just hits some very strong historical chords when women are on the brackets that doesn't happen as much when men are. That doesn't mean that its okay to objectify men. It's not.
In terms of this being a high-school gender fun thing, I think we all did a lot of dumb things in high-school that we didn't realize were dumb until later. Because, at those ages, the forces of sexism, racism, heterosexism, whatever-- affect us just as much as in the real world, except we haven't been as exposed to critical thought about these forces so we end up playing into it more.
Maybe the kid shouldn't have been punished (though I pretty much think he should) but this is a great opportunity for the school to discuss sexism in a meaningful, practical way (as in, not theoretical or just talking about suffrage, but talking about it in the context of the students' everyday lives.) People who do not see the problem with this are not "laid back" as compared to those who do, I think they are more likely missing the point. Maybe we don't need to go crazy over it (though a 5 day suspension is hardly going crazy... LOTS of kids do drugs and that is the suspension, and I'm not saying they all get caught, but I think sexism is also very detrimental to learning and the punishment does fit the crime) but we should be able to see that it is problematic.
So braves-- you are in a tough position. Probably what you ought to do is seek out some feminists in the flesh and get some comfort where a few people can tell you that YOU ARE RIGHT TO FEEL THE WAY YOU DO (you are:) ) and then maybe if you feel like it- try to set up a discussion at the school around sexism, or talk to middle school boys and girls about it. We need to be able to see that big deal or not, this is problematic, and symptomatic of a larger problem.
Do you know what? My 16 year old sister told me the other day that she was afraid to cut her hair into a bob because her "superficial friends might desert" her. I don't think she really thinks that... but maybe she does.
I'm glad you tried to talk to your brother about it, and I'm sorry he didn't understand your position.
Its completely unacceptable for these boys to select random girls and rate their hotness against each other in FRONT OF EVERYONE. If they want to rank the hottest girls, fine, but this "March Madness" style, announce it to everyone thing is really awful.
People are sympathetic because the administration vastly overreacted to the whole thing. If they'd given the kids a warning and then detention if they kept it up, it wouldn't be in the news so much and people wouldn't be as sympathetic.
I would not be surprised if your brothers are more proud of sticking it to the man than the contest itself.
I don't think a five day suspension for this type of thing is an overreaction at all, it shows that the administration is serious about not tolerating this type of behavior and that students who participate in this are not going to get a little slap on the wrist and a wink. I have seen kids get suspension for much less (in my opinion) offensive behavior. And detention after a warning if they keep it up? Please. Kids get detention for not doing an assignment. That would have been a joke.
I'm guessing standards for discipline are pretty different where you and I went to school. I got a 2 day suspension for being in a fight with another student once so that's the stick I'm measuring this against. If you're handing out suspensions to students who call each other names or whatever, then I suppose that would be relatively appropriate.
Regardless, I suspect that at this point it's undoubtedly more about getting the school administration's goat than really caring about the contest, and given how much media attention and sympathy they're receiving, it sure sounds like the goat has been got.
Standards must be different in the schools I work in. Of course the students here don't get suspension for "calling names" (unless the names are racial slurs which continue after the student has been talked too/had detention, etc) but I think what these boys were doing was much worse than regular old name calling. It was organized to the extent that they had shirts printed. I agree that "getting the goat" has something to do with it, but I also think it goes back to that sense of entitlement I mentioned where these boys think they are entitled to do whatever they want (especially when it comes to degrading women) and not have a real consequence for it.