Spring is here and love is in the air. This morning I awoke to news that one of my best friends is engaged. Two weeks ago I performed a liturgical dance to "The Prayer" at another pal's wedding and I have two other friends getting hitched this summer. It's all so romantic!
At the wedding I danced in a couple weeks ago the reverend officiating the ceremony made a statement that I wish I could broadcast in every church in the country. He said that the Bible describes marriage as a relationship based on mutual submission.
As a Christian feminist nothing gets my blood boiling like a person using the biblical command "Wives, submit to your husbands..." to excuse a man who is insensitive, demanding, controlling and even abusive.
These folks tend to ignore the fact that just a few verses down in Romans 5:25 are the words "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
Both husbands and wives are to give themselves up for their partners, and you don't even have to be a Christian to appreciate that it takes selflessness and compromise to make a relationship work. But if there's only one person being selfless, only one person compromising all the time, that marriage is doomed at "I do."
That is all. Now go brush up on the Electric Slide and the Cupid Shuffle to get ready for all those wedding receptions.
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Thank you for your post. I recently read the Quiverfull book and was so disgusted by the Vision Forum posting about Kathryn Joyce that Courtney alerted us to yesterday. Part of the post on the Vision Forum site talks about those who would try and ruin the "plan" for wifely submission to their husbands. It got me thinking about exactly what you have posted here.
In those communities women are not able to speak out about abuse, or any variety of problems that could be happening in their families, because to do so would be to disrepect their husbands and therefore the women are acting out of turn. It seems that these limitations actually inhibit the growth and health of these families that they hold in such high esteem. It makes NO sense to me.
Like you, I believe that in ANY relationship there is a need for submission and humility (from both sides) but it is grounded in the spirit of love and mutual respect. It has to be! Problems that arise in relationships can't be solved in a holistic, healthy way without the voices and participation of both parties.
Yes, yes, and yes! Couldn't have said it better myself.
I dont think this is as good as youre making it out to be. I consider just verbal spin by the preacher. Submission could mean different things for either gender, so essentially you could still be supporting the old gender dichotomy and roles while claiming its the same thing when its not. Anywyas, who wants to 'submit' to your partner anyways?I dont think a relationship is based on submission. Isnt that still patriarchal?
Um, I don't really think these verses describe equality. It says a man should love his wife and make sacrifices for her, and in exchange for this, the woman does what her husband tells her. It's justification for taking away the power of a woman to make her own decisions. "Who needs the freedom to lead her own life when she can have Love? Who needs power to effect changes in her personal life and in society when she has someone who will sacrifice his life to take care of her?" This is basically what the verses say to me. Trust me, it's not an even exchange.
Yeah, thats what I thought.
There is nothing about mutual submission in those verse. The situation described is still that of a superior/subordinate relationship; the only thing that the Romans verse adds is to tell husbands to make it more like a parent/child relationship than a master/slave relationship, but even if a parent will give their lives for their child, it is still obvious who is actually in charge while they'll around.
I think that is a great way to interpret those verses. :)
Thanks for the post!