First of all, good luck.

You need to do what is right for you. You can (and should) discuss it with your boyfriend, discuss it with your family, with adults you trust. But ultimately, the decision, the choice, must be what is right for YOU. If you feel that ending this pregnancy is the best thing for you, than do it.

2 more things. first, the Christian clinic lied to you. Regret is not inevitable. Abortion is generally a safe medical procedure. Know that they are trying to scare you into continuing your pregnancy, and forget everything they ever told you.

second, go back to the real clinic, and ask for counseling. If they tell you they don't offer counseling, ask them for the name of someone local who can give it. If they won't give you a name, call a Planned Parenthood- hopefully they can advise you on the phone, or find a counselor in your area.

Ultimately, you must do what you feel is best for you.

I've never experienced the agony of having to make a decision like this, but I'd like to at least offer you my virtual support in whatever decision you feel is best for you. And it is YOUR decision to make. Not your boyfriend's. Not his family's. I would definitely recommend talking to a trained professional (not an anti-choice propagandist) beforehand. You can call Planned Parenthood toll-free at 1-800-230-PLAN. Best of luck to you in this and your future endeavors.

I had an abortion last Summer. I was 18 years old, starting college in the fall, and knew in my heart that this was not the right time. To have had that baby would have been a disservice to myself, and the child. It was hard at first, and many tears were shed; when the decision was made, in the weeks that followed, but beneath all the pain was the knowledge that i had done the right thing.

It's wasn't easy, but when i looked things over long term i figured making this choice now and continuing with my education and life so i could give my child the life i wanted to instead of stopping before i'd even begun was for the best.

I wish you the best of luck, no matter what choice you make.

First off, I'm surprised others haven't left comment on this.

I might be a faceless commenter over the internet, but I'm also a young woman, in college, with a supportive and loving boyfriend with whom I want to have children, whose family would be delighted if we started a family. I also know that it is the wrong time for me to start a family and will be until after I'm out of school. I would abort immediately after finding myself pregnant.

I'm sorry you were misled into a Christian anti-choice clinic whose mission is to scare and emotionally manipulate women into keeping children they can't manage or don't want. I'm glad to see you kept your appointment with the abortion clinic and I understand why you're feeling nervous about this, especially with the clinic having no counseling services (which is very surprising, I thought they were almost mandatory). I hope you look on the internet for credible information about the procedure to temper your fears about the process--it's not as scary as it sounds.

What I'm interpreting is that you know what you want to do, you'd just like some more support in your decision. From what you've posted, you sound like you know that abortion is the best choice for you right now (especially with medical school on the line). I suggest you go through with the procedure, go to medical school, become a great doctor who can help many people, and then when you are ready begin a family you can love and support fully. There is nothing to be guilt about. If you don't want this pregnancy, don't keep it.

I just wanted to share that I am going through a similar situation:

I am 25 and in graduate school, married, and just found out that I am pregnant (this morning). I was on BC pills for 6 years, but they started making me have semi-serious health problems, so I went off them LAST MONTH...and was using NFP, condoms, spermicide, and being extra careful, and Boom, first month...unfortunate.

The worst part is, we were planning on trying to get pregnant next march so that I would have the baby after I graduated, but before I went on for my Ph.D. or started a full time job. So, I understand your momentary pause about having an abortion with someone you could see yourself having kids with--my husband and I were planning it. But, I cannot have a child-I would have the kid in the middle of the semester, lose my TA funding, etc, and I feel no connection to this embryo.

Now I am in the irritating situation of trying to find an abortion provider--in the deep south--and realizing that planned parenthood doesn't even perform abortions in this state-and the nearest one is 2 hours away (and I'm in a mid-sized city). I know this is best. Giving up my education and ultimately my career is not. I do not feel guilt or sadness over this because it's just the possibility of a baby---not a baby.

I'm sorry you're going through this-do contact planned parenthood in your area and good luck.

If you're concerned or conflicted and feel like you need to talk to people, whether friends or counselors, it would be a good idea to find out how far along you are so that you know how much time you have to make the decision. I hope you can find a Planned Parenthood or somewhere else that will give you actual facts, and support you whatever you decide. Good luck!

I just want to extend my best wishes to you, whatever you decide. What a difficult position to be in, especially when your boyfriend and his family are in favor a choice different than the one you sound to be leaning toward. Don't necessarily take as word what you learned at the crisis clinic, but do your own research and try to talk to someone unbiased. I hope this turns out well for you.

First, let me express my sympathy that you are going through this at all, particularly at a transitional point in your life that's probably stressful enough as is. The way I read your post, it seems to me that you've decided that abortion is the best decision for you and I'm responding accordingly.

While no emotion (or even contradicting mix of emotions) are wrong, I think that women often feel guilty after an abortion simply because society sends them the message that they should feel guilt. On one side we have many people who proclaim that women who have abortions are murderers. And there is a culture of shame surrounding abortion that prevents a real discussion about the things women experience before and after. The very rare times abortion is represented in the media it's usually a torturous decision that leaves the girl/woman overwhelmed with grief and guilt. The truth is that many women feel a great deal of relief after the procedure but it's taboo to admit to having an abortion, much less express a positive emotion relating to it. Don't feel ashamed if you feel a sense of relief. You have a right to take control of your own life and decide what's best for yourself. There is no shame in doing what you know is right not only for you but the family you may have in the future.

Here are some links that may help:
Backline A website and hotline that includes support for any decision and post-abortion support
Personal Abortion Stories
Abortion Stories This is a livejournal community and you must join to read new posts but it offers real stories from people who have experienced abortion. It may help you feel like you are not so alone.
I'm Not Sorry Specifically positive stories from women who have had abortions
4exhale Is a post-abortion counseling website and hotline
A guide to post-abortion healing This may be useful if you find yourself struggling after an abortion.
Planned Parenthood many resources relating to abortion

A word of warning. Be careful if you decide to look around the internet for abortion stories because many are pro-life sites masquerading as neutral "share your experience" websites.

I've never had an abortion, but I feel for you because my mother had two and she shared very deep, sensitive things about those experiences with me. I'm sure my mother never totally resolved if she was happy with the choices she had made. We were really, really poor growing up and I remember going without food pretty often, so I know it would've been even harder if she had two more mouths to feed. On top of that, my father was never around, even though he promised he would be if she "kept the baby."

My mother was a devout, Catholic woman. When she found herself pregnant with me, she told her mother and my father. Both parties urged her to have me, and both parties said they would help raise me. Two years down the line, my father was seeing other women and my mother's poor family was of little assistance when it was time to buy groceries or diapers. For her own reasons, my mother got involved with my father again and again, resulting in two more pregnancies. She told me, much later in life, that after looking at my life and how I had been abandon by promises people had made to her -- she said she couldn't bare to see it happen to more of her children. She didn't want the abortions -- she would've rather been in positions where she could carry her pregnancies to term. She loved being my mother, but she felt it was the right thing to do because when people broke promises made to her, the one who got hurt was me.

I'm not saying that your boyfriend or his family will break promises or that having a child will put you in the same situation as me and my mother, but I offer up my mother's painful past as example that in life we sometimes choose to do things for the good of others. Examine your life and the life of your family. Do what is best for the future. Be responsible to your own wishes -- your deepest wishes. Do not feel obligation from the sentiments of others. Be your own person.

(P.S.: I see those bumper stickers on people's cars. They say, "BE GLAD YOUR MOTHER WAS PRO-LIFE." Sometimes, I'm not.)

I just wanted to add my voice to the others that wish you the best as you make a difficult decision that belongs only to you. Also, I want to note that you also have every right to expect support from other people, regardless of what the decision is.

You deserve the very best in the way of help, care, love, and happiness (in whatever way you want to define it).

I have never had an abortion, but I know that if I got pregnant I would, no questions asked. I am lucky, however, that my boyfriend feels the same way as I (Including never having kids). The point is, it really isn't his choice, or his parents. It's YOUR choice. I know everyone here is saying the exac same thing, but still, I just stopped by to offer support for you. Do not let anyone talk you into keeping a baby you do not want. I am also 20 years old as well, and being 20 is scary enough without going through this. Good luck with everything, and I hope that you do what's best for you, not just what's best for everyone else.

This is your life and your body. Only you can know what you can live with at the end of the day. Know that NO MATTER WHAT you decide, it is not "wrong" or "evil" or "selfish". Those are words used by people who want to control you. And it is not your boyfriend's body or his choice, it is yours and yours alone. It sounds like you have a good idea of what you want to do, but outside influences are pulling at you. That's normal and understandable. I don't have any other good advice for you other than to do what is best for you and no one else. Nothing new here that no one else has said, but sometimes anonymous support on the internet can be helpful. :)

Please get counseling from a sympathetic professional. See if the clinic you went to can refer you to someone or call a local college's health center. You deserve support, what ever choice you make. And remember that the choice is yours. You seem like a smart person; I'm sure you will make the right choice for you.

Good Luck,

Joan

I'd like to throw in my two cents and support. First, according to the National Abortion Federation, the most common emotion women experience after an abortion is relief, not regret. It sounds to me like you have made your decision, but are now second guessing yourself due to the lies told to you by the crisis pregnancy center. Like other commenters wrote before me, those places are there not to help you, but to manipulate you to achieve their own agendas. I too find it odd that the true clinic did not offer counseling, I am sorry to hear about that. However, it does not seem to me that you need more counseling, it seems that you need support in your decision. It is your choice, and you appear to either have made it or are leaning toward the side of having the abortion. Don't let others talk you into or out of it.

I forgot, you may want to go to NAF's website and read more for yourself:

http://www.prochoice.org

Please please please choose a decision that is right for you and not for your boyfriend/his family/your family. Your boyfriend seems to care very much about you and if this is true, he should support you no matter what you decide. You have a huge future ahead of you and there is plenty of times after you achieve personal goals to have a child. I'm about to study abroad next semester and I couldn't imagine turning this opportunity down to have a baby.

If you do what is truly right for yourself, whether it is to have the baby or an abortion, you won't have regrets.

I would just like to reiterate what others said: YOUR decision is the RIGHT decision. Make sure that it comes from you. Your BF is wonderful, I'm sure, but if you have a baby for him (and not yourself), it could do terrible things to the relationship.

Whatever choice you make, remember that you have a world of feminists here who support you and know that you can make the right call for your situation.