I've been thinking lately about the stereotype/cliché that frat boys are date rapists, and it's been bothering me.
I'm not concerned for the frat boys' sake. I've heard awful things about many of the frats on my campus, so if the reputation keeps girls away (or at least keeps them conscious of the dangers at frat parties) that's definitely a good thing. And denouncement of date rape is always a good thing.
I've been feeling, though, that the frat boy cliché is just an easy way out of the issue. If the campus date rape problem is limited to frat houses, then it's quite a simple problem: girls just shouldn't go to frat parties or date frat boys. I don't worry about people thinking that all frat guys are date rapists, but I do worry about people thinking that all date rapists are frat guys.
An example: a male friend of mine, when the issue of sexual violence came up, said "I'd say that at least 75% of the rapes on campus are committed by frat guys." I immediately disputed that, and he just said "Well, *I* still think that's true."
I'm Canadian, and Greek culture isn't nearly as big at our universities as it is in the U.S., so his statement bothered me even more. Regardless, in either country, date rapists are not just the obviously obnoxious guys who have "girls drink free" parties. The people committing sexual assault are not a specific type; some of them are frat guys or athletes, others are nerds, others are indie kids, others are musicians, others are in student government, and many don't fit into any easy category.
Date rape doesn't just take place in frat houses, it takes place in non-Greek student housing, campus bars, parking lots, classrooms, libraries and really any other location where someone can sufficiently isolate their victim.
I think that using the Frat Guy as the stereotype of a date rapist continues to obscure these difficult, uncomfortable, frightening realities. What do you all think? Do you think the frat guy cliché is an easy out, or do you think it plays no role in obscuring the facts?
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Maybe it's just me, but I've never assumed all frat guys to be date rapists. Drunken louts, yes, but rapists, no.
I've often thought that limiting any critiques of college life to the Greek system really takes away from what the issue really is.
I was in a sorority. I was also involved with non-Greek friends. I lived in campus dorms, I lived in our sorority house. The drinking, the pot, the sexual assaults - I couldn't point to any problem that was worse in one area than the other. I've heard people insist that the peer pressure to drink is worse in Greek life than it is elsewhere on campus, but none of my sorority sisters ever harassed me for refusing to go out drinking on Thursday night because I had class the next morning like my floormates did in my dorm.
I think binge drinking and sexual assaults on college campuses is a problem, period, that cuts across all groups and people who aren't part of any identifiable group except "young college student." So yes, I think that targeting one group and warning people about them obscures what's really going on and prevents any meaningful solutions.
Mind you, I'm speaking from my experience at a large state school with a large Greek system and a very wide variety of people and groups and different levels of academic seriousness depending on who you were talking to. I have no experience with going to a small and/or private college so maybe someone else's experience would be different.
"If the campus date rape problem is limited to frat houses, then it's quite a simple problem: girls just shouldn't go to frat parties or date frat boys."
How about those frat boys stop date raping, as opposed to putting the responsibility on women to avoid them? I'm not saying that all frat boys date rape; in fact I agree with the first comment that I never assumed they were rapists. While this isn't the point of your post, I do think it's about time that Greek Life (and specifically fraternities) took a more hands-on approach to address sexual assault within their community (I say "more" because I know there is some programming that already exists). My university (a large Big Ten school) started a program this year that requires all first-year students to attend two-hour workshop that explores the definitions of sexual assault, rape, and relationship violence. Similar programming could be very beneficial for fraternities if they're hopeful in losing their "date rape" reputations.
The point the OP is trying to make is that date rape on campus is typically associated with fraternities, when it actually happens across all social aspects of campus life. The OP wasn't actually putting the onus on women to avoid potential rapists, just pointing out that if the problem was that easy to identify then that solution would help. The problem is that not all date rapists are frat boys, so avoiding frat brothers doesn't mean you are avoiding a potential rapist.
If all rapists were somehow marked in such a way that all women knew they were dangerous, then yes, women could take some responsibility in avoiding rapists. The fact is that rapists are not marked and we don't know who the rapists are, so telling women how to avoid them is like telling a fisherman to avoid fishing in one spot of a lake because the lake is full of fish.
That sounds like a great program that your university has, I really wish that mine had anything like that. Even requiring people living on campus to do a program like that would make a huge difference.
Of course the responsibility shouldn't be on women to avoid date rapists. My point was pretty much that clichés about what rape is or who commits it gives the false impression that it is possible for women to just avoid rape, when in reality that is impossible to do.
Even though victims shouldn't be the ones to have to prevent rape, if there was actually something I could do that would prevent myself from being raped I would do it (unfortunately there isn't). I think clichés about rape trick people into believing that women CAN avoid rape just by avoiding certain types of ppl (like frat boys). It's one of the (many) things that keeps hiding the real rapists and keeps victim-blaming alive.
It plays a role in obscuring the facts to some extent. I think that the culture of some fraternities makes sexual assault seem like no big deal or makes it harder to prosecute (the whole protecting your brothers thing) and perhaps on some campuses frat members do perpetrate more sexual assaults than other students. However, because sexual assaults are so under reported, it's hard to get an accurate picture of who the perpetrators really are and whether or not they are involved in fraternities.
The fratty date rape stereotype is just like the back alley rapist stereotype. Based slightly in fact (back alley rape and frat rape are real problems), it has attained cultural status because it is an othering system used to separate The Normal People from The Rapists.
Most people aren't raped by strangers in alleys or predatory frat guys (although many are). Most people are raped by people they know and at least partially trust--people they think of as "Normal" and certainly not Rapists.
We really need to change the cultural assumption that rape is only committed by Others, and that our friends and loved ones and ourselves are immune from scrutiny.
"it has attained cultural status because it is an othering system used to separate The Normal People from The Rapists."
yes. thank you for articulating that so perfectly.
also just wanting to say, nicely put. good point!
"I'm not concerned for the frat boys' sake. I've heard awful things about many of the frats on my campus, so if the reputation keeps girls away (or at least keeps them conscious of the dangers at frat parties) that's definitely a good thing. And denouncement of date rape is always a good thing."
Be careful, asserting that all frat boys are rapists is closely associated with the idea that anyone who associates with frat boys should expect to get raped, which is victim blaming.
Secondly, be careful not to create a fear culture. Asserting that rape will occur at frat parties will have negative consequences for women and men. While no woman ever deserves to be raped, no woman should ever have vigilance required of them; this situation mandates fear. It is uncomfortable for women and unfair on men too. See the discussion here: http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2008/03/07/feminism-friday-popularity-of-long-debunked-rape-myths-talk-about-disheartening/
I'm not at all involved with the Greek system but I know a lot of people who are, and most of them are decent people
Oddly enough, the only person I've ever slept with who verbally asked me whether it was okay to take off my underwear -- frat boy. And I've slept with a lot of people.
Stereotyping is rarely productive.
Same experience here. My first sexual experience was with an American Football player (at a UK university), what I guess you would call a 'jock' in some ways. However he was incredibly considerate, made sure I wanted to do it, asked about contraception etc. I still have very fond memories of him.
Interestingly, the only person I know who was ever accused of rape was a skinny, indie-music-listening, 'pretty boy'.
Perhaps the 'frat boy' culture is the problem - excessive drinking, treating women like conquests - but it will never help us identify individual rapists. Unfortunately, you just never know - which is why saying it's down to women to protect themselves is hooey.
I also agree about the 'othering'. However, male acquaintances rarely take this well! Once I wanted to walk home alone on campus because I was hot and bothered from a night out, wanted to leave at a time of my own choosing and not wait for others, and needed some alone time. A male friend chased after me and insisted on walking me home. I made the point about how I was far more likely to be attacked by him or one of the other guys I lived with, and that our halls of residenc was a far more likely place for a woman to be raped, than on the darkened campus paths. WHOA did he get offended!!! I made the point I was talking statistically, not actually accusing him or any of the other guys, but he just didn't want to hear it. I think guys themselves often Other rapists so they can believe they are as distanced from them as possible, when in reality it could be any of their friends. Perhaps this is part of the educating we need to do for men and boys...
funny, the one football player i dated was so so good about positive consent - made sure to ask if things were ok, and responded very quickly to the slightest bit of body language i gave that showed i might not be into it.
and i was sexually assaulted by a hipster indie kid. so yeah.
nothing really to add, just wanting to say really good post.
All African Americans tote guns and love fried chicken, all Asian people practice Kung Fu, everyone over 60 is a terrible driver, all Middle Eastern people are terrorists, all Caucasians are bad at sports, and all gays love to decorate.
Anybody a little offended? Are these stereotypes gross generalizations?
Then why are all frat boys rapists?
I am in a respected fraternity at an Ivy League school and I consider my fraternity a close-knit brotherhood of like-minded men who share certain bonds of friendship and use these friendships to achieve personal, intellectual, and social growth. Do we like to drink? Yes. Do we sometimes get out of control with parties? Yes. Are there some 'frat boys' who are douches and rapists? Certainly. But are there some politicians, doctors, and clergymen who are douches and rapists? Of course.
Some 'frat boys' behave badly but that's not because they belong to a fraternity. It's because fraternities are made up of people and some people behave badly. To stereotype an enormous group of people based on the actions of a tiny portion of their population is hardly fair. It's no different than stereotyping any other group of people. Comprende?
Well, I guess no Spanish-speakers will read this since they are all too busy mowing yards, right?