That's right. I was feeling under the weather today, and the fact that's I've been so neglectful of my physical needs, I decided to do a google search on good exercises for hips and thighs (since that is where I store most of my weight). I was scrolling along when a headline caught my attention. I clicked on it, and got this article. It turns out, a study conducted by researchers from the universities of Pittsburgh, and California resulted in the findings that women with a larger hip to waist ratio stores more fatty omega 3 acids, resulting in better brain growth, and is found to be more intelligent than her counterparts.
Obviously this does not mean that bigger hipped women are always smarter than any other. We all know that it is not just one factor that determines intelligence, but a number of factors. Needless to say, it did help me feel a little bit better though. At least whe I am sitting, and it feels like the big bang is performing an oncor in my chair, I can go back to that article.
Reading the comments to one of these articles though (I will try to search for the link since I lost it), I began to think about something else. We all know that big hips have been correlated with fertility, and of course that is what some of the comments alluded to (more cushin' for the pushin' etc.) One of the comments mentioned something along the lines of "It is not her brains I am after." Another comment mentioned something like "Damn, no luck in finding a ditz with big hips, huh."
Well, it brought me back to those days where women and men usually separated on occasions where the family gathered. With women being in the kitchen, mostly talking about the the things they shopped for, or the things their husbands got for them, the latest gossip around the neighborhood, or just plain cooking recipes. Never anything beyond this. The men were all confined in their plume of cigar smoke talking about "serious matters." This is something that has bothered me for the longest time. I have heard on a number of occasions while arguing with another guy about this, that studies have shown on average that men are smarter than women. In doing my own research, I have found, interestingly enough, that men deviate more than women on the scale of intelligence, meaning a higher rate of both very low intelligence, and genius scores.
I find the former hard to believe though. I believe that this supposed lack of intelligence (even the results of these studies) indicate both a cultural, and psychological phenomenon.
I believe that most women are raised to learn that men do not like being shown up, and that it is not "dainty" or attractive for a woman to be smarter than a man. Therefore she applies this knowledge when seeking a man. It has also been evident throughout time, and there has always been a generally wide held belief that women do not/and should not need to be smarter anyway.
In my own personal observations, even in my current relationship, I have observed that most men look for women who are "easy to get along with", translation" obedient, "simple minded", translation: always happy, and just lives to bake platters of cookies for everyone. Put shortly, these men didn't want a girl that would challenge his knowledge and embarrass, or more importantly, bruise his ego. So I am curious, how many men have you come across like this in your lives? How did you handle it? What are your thoughts on women having to dumb themselves down, or be met with extra hostility due to their knowledge and expressing their opinions? And do you believe that it would be more scientifically accurate to say that both men and women share the same capacity for intelligence?
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I can't speak for "most" men, but I personally always looked for women of intelligence who weren't afraid to show it, but who had figured out the trick of being very intelligent and very happy at the same time.
When I was dating, I quickly figured out that I was looking for a woman who was a little, well, weird, because I'm fairly weird as well. And once I put that in my filter, I stopped worrying about what was up with the majority, since I knew by definition I wasn't looking for one of them. Instead I started looking for ways to filter down to just the ones I thought I'd be compatible with.
Nothing personal here MikeT - but it's just not that simple with guys.
I have been single most of my life because I have challenged men's subconcious misogyny (and my own) right from the first date. You need to to get any sense of equality, as a woman.
And I have done it in a happy manner sometimes...and not so happy when they are being blatant. And nothing has worked!
It is pointless to say that you can find a man who is compatible with you in every other way...if he is not willing to challenge his own in-built misogyny.
Personally, I don't buy the "there's someone out there for you somewhere" line. I found a better match in my wife than I ever thought I could, but it took a long time, and was basically dumb luck. I do, however, think it's impossible to find a good healthy relationship if you're pretending to be something you're not.
Hi Lynne C. Here's an interesting post at Restructure about a study showing that even the "male intelligence is more variable" theory is incorrect and is actually a reflection of societal sexism:
http://restructure.wordpress.com/2009/06/09/gender-difference-in-math-ability-variability-driven-by-social-inequality-study/
My brother is a fairly conservative Sean Hannity-idolizing guy and his idea of a perfect mate is a woman who's smart, but not smarter than him and who's college-educated and has a career, but would be willing to drop that career to make and stay home with babies. Oh, yes, she also should be thin and beautiful, regardless of the fact that my brother himself is short and fat and of average looks. Is it any wonder why he hasn't dated anyone in years and that the only two relationships he's ever been in have been with women who used him for his money?
I've only had four serious boyfriends in my life, one of whom I am now married to, and all of my relationships have been with men who valued my intelligence. Of course, I find this trait to be one most valued by older men. One ex was a few years older than me and two were almost as old as my mother. My husband is just three years older, but we met in my late 20s and his early 30s.
I have to say, linking intelligence to one physical trait sounds like bullshit to me. Even if there is a disclaimer saying that "this is not always the case". Imagine if it said that white women "tend to be smarter" than black women, or that men "tend to be smarter" than women. Even if you put the very convenient disclaimer, the harm is already done.
Put shortly, these men didn't want a girl that would challenge his knowledge and embarrass, or more importantly, bruise his ego.
Your statements are pretty inflammatory. For one, wanting someone "easy to get along with", does not mean "obedient". If you can't get along with your SO, it's not going to work.
Secondly, no, if I still dated, I wouldn't want a woman who was interested in embarrassing me.
Would you want an SO that thought it was a good, healthy idea to embarrass you or make you look stupid?
How can you rationalize that as a good thing?
Like you're basically saying that men should sit back and get women that will go out of their way to embarrass them and that that is actually "important".
Makes no sense to me.
The underlying assumption is that a man is inherently embarrassed by a woman who knows something he doesn't, or is smarter than he is.
That's certainly a stereotype and appeal to the male gender role, but many people conform to their gender role. I've no idea how widespread that's likely to be, since I've no stats so all I could offer is worthless anecdotes.
Which in itself is an assumption that men would be more embarrassed by a woman knowing something he doesn't know then a man.
Take for example my relationship. I'm in Chemical Engineering, my GF is in Bio-Chemistry, and my best friend is Physics. Gah two science geeks.
We all have fields which overlap, but if I was to be shown up on something in my field by either I would be embarrassed. As for learning something I may challenge them, but feel no more threatened from being corrected by my GF then best friend.
In my experience, the more intelligent a man is, the less he cares about a woman being smarter than him/outspoken in her intelligence. Or, more accurately, intelligence is a trait to be enjoyed in a woman.
I have a very flirtatious friendship with a man who is, by his own admission, not quite as intelligent as me (though imho we're pretty much equal). And our conversations are almost all of the variety "Let's discuss in detail this topic we're both passionate about" "God you're so hot right now"; knowledge and intelligence are as much a turn-on as physical attributes because it makes us more interesting to the other. And for him, I can tell that it's almost like I'm posing a challenge for him, and he's more than willing to accept it. (It's a very fun arrangement and I would recommend it to anyone)
Coincidentally, it backs up what Rachel said about older men valuing intelligence more, because my friend is also quite older than me. And while the plural of anecdote is not data, it is food for thought, at least.
Not to nitpick, but a large hip to waist ratio and large hips are not the same thing. You can have very small hips (and an even smaller waist) and have a large waist to hip ratio. Or you can have big hips (and a big waist) and have a small waist to hip ratio.
I accidentally wrote waist to hip ratio, but I meant hip to waist ratio.
Anecdotally, of course, I see it pretty often in my workplace. Then again, I work in the science field and around a lot of middle-aged to old white males. If there is a woman, she's usually the lowest on the totem pole with some sort of science-related degree OR none at all, her role as an admin asst.
As far as men, I find some men do prefer not to be challenged, this in the workplace as well, and this includes men who claim that they want an intelligent, assertive woman. I'm not saying all, but yeah I've come across these type of men.
Hello guys. Thank you for the comments. I just wanted to apologize for the glaring spelling errors in this post. I had actually written it in haste, was trying to copy and paste it into another document, and hit submit in the process by mistake. I couldn't take it back. Just had to put that out there. Here is a link from youtube that I also wanted to add to the mixture, a satire that pretty much sums up everything I was talking about in this post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w
This is an interesting post.
That said, I certainly wouldn't want to date anyone who was difficult to get along with, or who made a point of bruising my ego on a regular basis. I really wouldn't want to date someone who embarrassed me frequently. People like that are called douchebags.
I've never dated a guy who was clearly threatened by my intelligence. I don't dumb myself down for anyone, and I never have -- frankly, being that fake is too much work. I know guys like that do exist, but so far I haven't dated any, or at least, any willing to admit to it. I think I scare them away.
Most of the "dumb yourself down to please a man" advice I've heard has come from women, which is really just sad.
Dumb yourself down to please a man is horrible advice. However being nice and not rubbing in his face things you know that he doesn't is just common sense. In my experience I've met more girls who felt entitled to remind me of everything I didn't know then guys who felt threatened by a female's intellect.
I think there are a lot of people like that. I don't think that kind of behavior is as much being intimidated by someone else's intelligence as it is showing off.
There are a lot of people who like to show off -- everyone likes an ego boost -- and those people are annoying. No one should date them.
Well my ex just dumped me because I didn't enthusiastically support every idea that popped into his head.
So I'll get back to you on that one...