I know this webcomic has been mentioned before here (since that's how I found it) but this week's comic was AWESOME. I really like the last panel which says, "Man, do I really gotta revolve my identity around who I find fuckable? I'd rather define myself through my accomplishments..." Her disclaimer for this one is also really good, I thought, "Before you flame me, please remember I'm only speaking about my personal experiences with sexual identity, I am in no way trying to imply that anybody else should/will have a similar evolution."
The reason I like this so much is she's hitting on a point I think is really significant- we shouldn't have to define ourselves by who we find sexually attractive. Sure, my orentation and sexuality are a huge part of who I am, but why should I define myself by that? Why should anyone? I'm curiuos what everyone else thinks about this.
(PS I'm a little nervous about posting since this only my second post and my first one got overwhelmed by a MRA who was convinced most rapes are just women trying to get out the consequences of ill-considered sex. I hope this one goes better)
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I love DAR, and I thought about commenting on that strip specifically, also.
I love that strip because, when you read her archives, you see the same changes. She was fully questioning her sexuality during her relationship with her now-husband when she identified as a lesbian, which she had defined as only liking girls. Then she realizes she loves him, previous labels be damned, and doesn't worry about it but still makes some commentary about it.
It's really interesting to have such an evolution of thought available... almost like reading a diary.
That was a good comic.
I appreciate Erica's sentiment, but I don't know that we can really transcend these sexual identities as long as our culture(I'm posting from the US) treats them differently. I mean what if she had wanted to marry another woman rather than her husband?
Love the idea. Have to admit I hadn't even thought of defining myself according to who I find sexually attractive, but I'm against it now that I think of it :)
I wanted to post a community message about this one http://www.darcomic.org/2009/06/16/vibrator1/
but it never went through, Dar is extremely funny and should be on most people's must read list.
I like it, I go back and forth with labels because sometimes I think they are necessary and some times I think they are limiting. I consider myself bisexual, so I am queer and totally identify and want to support gay rights, and feel a very personal connection to gay rights, but since I am bisexual and don't fit in a nice little lesbian box, I feel limited. Not to mention the fact that I don't think who I find attractive is anyone else's business, unless I want to tell them. However, since gay rights are being discussed right now politically I feel if I don't tell people, that I am hiding it and the more gay people someone knows the more likely they are to vote for gay rights.
I think labels are sometimes useful and often inevitable, for we use them all the time (how many years have you been alive? what religious beliefs do you have? are you a student, or a lawyer, or a...?)
But we sometimes do want to stop and wonder why the labels we're choosing from are arranged the way they are. Eve Sedgwick challenges this in Epistemology of the Closet when she asks why we define our "sexual orientation" according simply and exclusively to the sex of the person we're attracted to. Most of us would admit that we're also attracted to certain gender(s) (maybe even more than a certain sex?), we're attracted to certain body types, body parts, sex acts, modes and levels of intimacy, etc. etc. Why aren't these just as important to our sexual identity?
Sometimes we want to obliterate labels altogether! But I think multiplying them until it's harder to police the "norm" is sometimes the more likely scenario.