I have a confession to make.
I completely forgot about this website about a month after I made my last, and only, post. When I discovered this blog last summer, I was amazed by the community and the great stories that everyone had to tell and, eventually, I made that first great leap of faith and wrote something myself. Needless to say, I was ecstatic when a few people actually took the time to appreciate what I had written and comment on my entry. I was excited. I was enthusiastic. I was full of ideas and ready to make them a reality.
And then senior year started and there were five AP classes and twelve college applications to the most selective schools on the east coast and hours and hours of figure skating practice every week and, just like that, all thoughts of feminism and my love of writing for the sake of writing were lost. I suddenly found myself drowning in the chaos that I had always prided myself on being in control of. After three years of thinking of myself as a master of the art of 'time-management and organization with minimal to no stress', I couldn't take anymore and was officially done. Only problem? I was six months too early. So after eleven years (and three months) of private school and great grades, when those big, fat envelopes from Ivy League institutions were so close to landing in my mailbox, I was suddenly a high school dropout.
I still have a hard time thinking of myself as a dropout because in my mind, I'm just taking time off. Which I am. I'm completely fine with the turn my life has taken because, while my parents and friends and teachers think I'm completely crazy for doing this, I know that a) I needed this, b) my life is not over, despite what my parents have driven themselves into thinking over the last six months, and c) the fact that I'm sitting in my room writing this while at this very moment my former classmates are receiving their diplomas does not change the fact that I am still incredibly smart and, if that last statement didn't make it obvious enough for you, pretty fucking confident in myself, my decisions, and my future.
I'm sure that was probably far more than any of you want to know about me or my life, but if one good thing has come from this crazy mess of my life that I can't help but enjoy, if only because I've always loved seeing other people completely shocked by my words and actions, it's that I've rediscovered what I found out last summer when I first visited this site: everybody has a story and a voice and there's always somebody out there longing to listen and respond and connect. So to whoever is reading this, thank you for being that person for me.
And this time, I promise to stick around for more than a month.
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While completing high school and going directly to university/college is probably the most efficient route, it's not the only one, by any means. And it's a real shame that that isn't usually communicated to high school students.
When I was in high school I had absolutely no direction, but was put under constant pressure to figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. The result? I dropped in and out repeatedly before I finally found some direction. Then I blew off high school entirely, went to college, and then to university for my B.Sc. And it has all worked out just fine.
Good for you for knowing what you need to do, and doing it despite what everyone around you seems to think of it. :)
My friend was in a similar situation during her junior year. So she left high school and did her final year at a study abroad program in Egypt. I do not no the name of the program but she said school there was a lot easier and on top of that she learned arabic!
They have programs like that all over the world. I'll post the info here in a little bit. But yeah, finish your last year of high school through a study abroad program! Then you will have a high school diploma+foreign language skills!
It sounds like we're similar in a lot of ways (the figure skating and AP classes and college craziness).
I'm in college now at one of those Ivy Leagues that everyone seems so obsessed about getting into. While I love my school and I know I'm very lucky to be here, I've learned that getting into the best college and trying to be perfect really is not as important as it may seem. I was so fixated on achieving all of my goals that I had put my happiness aside, believing that the moment I got that big, fat envelope all the stress would melt away. But it didn't work that way. There were new goals to obsess over, new classes and applications to overwhelm me. Ultimately, I had to find a way to bring balance to my life and maintain my drive and determination without basing my self worth solely on my academic achievements.
To relate more to your story, my freshman roommate decided to take a semester off halfway through her first year at college. That single semester turned into three, but she did come back despite all the expectations that she would never return. And she told me that the time off was really what she needed to get her life together and reconnect with her family.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that if things get overwhelming and you need a break, then I think it's a great idea to take that time for yourself. People are always going to doubt your choices if they don't follow a standard path, but only you know what's right for you.
I think young people these days are put under way too much stress. It's really a shame...they don't even let you be kids or teens anymore, it's all about having the right extracurriculars and the right classes and the right volunteer work. :(
I agree. Becky, if you go back to high school and continue on the same path you were going, all the power to you. But if you decide to go back and graduate with good marks but not all the AP classes and go to an average university, then that's great too. You will still get a degree. And hey, if you don't go to university at all and get a more hands-on job through a community college, that's great too. It's nice to have choice.
My ambition ran out partly in 4th year of university when I realized getting into a psychology grad program would be hardly than I had thought. I got accepted to teacher's college which is 9 months instead of 24.
I think young people these days are put under way too much stress. It's really a shame...they don't even let you be kids or teens anymore, it's all about having the right extracurriculars and the right classes and the right volunteer work. :(
I've finally returned to my home town, gone back to college, got my license and begun working at what I hope to be the career that will keep me until retirement.
I'm 40 years old. I have also dropped out of college twice.
I could have saved myself a lot of trouble if as a high school graduate in the 80s, I had decided it was all right for men to be nurturing and gone into nursing in the first place, instead of doing what "smart" kids did in the mid 1980s and trying to become engineers. I wouldn't have had to uproot my family and put our futures at risk putting my career on hold as a 36 year old student.
However, I do not regret the experiences I have had along the way studying completely unrelated things at university in the 1980s, working at numerous other jobs in the meantime, or living in Japan for 12 years. I certainly would not give up the wife or children I have because of the long detour I took in life.
I hope things work out for you. I've learned that having a positive outlook on life, having self confidence, having direction in life, and being open to opportunity (I was unfortunately not those things) are more important than being smart.
Seems to me you learned a lot from dropping out, you couldnt have learned at school.
That's always the way, eh...
I learned nothing in university, and in the year since I left I've learned 1000000000000000000 useful things.
Oh, to the OP - If you want to go back to school, don't put it off indefinitely. I'm not saying rush back this September, but the longer you're out of school the harder it is to go back.
i went through an existential crisis my first year of medical school (for various reasons), and everyday i considered switching to a totally different career. i was also near failing a course many times throughout the year, so even if i hadn't quit myself i might not have had a choice!
i passed the year though, and am now doing summer research before second year starts. as horrible as the first year was, it was very important. before i was so caught up in achiements that i lost sight of the real reasons i wanted to be a doctor. it was neccessary for all my assumptions to be shaken to the core, so i now have deeper and stronger reasons to do what i'm doing. and instead of measuring success by my achievements i'm learning to see success in being resourceful and hard working in the present.
i hope you have sympathy for your parents and well-wishers who are freaking out! your decisions are difficult for them to accept. but do stay strong on figuring out what you want in life and what you want to do, without the illogical constraints of family/friends. good luck!! as i've learned getting into med school, the linear, non-interrupted process of education is not the only option or even the best option.
Practically every day of my first and my second years of medical school, I felt like what you must have felt like last year...
-this is not the career for me
-these are not the colleagues I want to have
-why am I putting up with all this bullshit so I can spend all my time on paperwork and none of my patients will be able to afford adequate healthcare anyway
-I hate medical school!!!
It's seriously an awful experience. I wanted to drop out many times.
I'm a week and a half into my third year now, and I love it, I love it! For the first time in a long time (except maybe at MSFC meetings!), I'm excited that I'm going to be a doctor. I actually look forward to going to school - that's novel.
So I just wanted to say this -- second year will be hard. Make sure you have a good support system. Talk to your friends and loved ones about how hard it is, because it is hard and it is miserable. And forget those overbearing assholes I know you have in your class because they're faking it. Second year is hard. And it seems interminable. But eventually, it does end, you'll make it through, and third year will be amazing.
Oh, and enjoy your summer! I don't get a break until THANKSGIVING. Now, that's just wrong.