I began working at my office job when I was eighteen. Two months out of high school (before the economy crashed), I was fortunate enough to become hired as a computer operator for my local system of higher education thanks largely to a friendly disposition and a willingness to learn-- and work odd shifts.
My office has a decent female vs. male ratio. My boss is a woman and I was replacing a female operator who moved to technical services. Many of our programmers and managers are women, and the only department that is all-men is telecom (but it's a fairly small department, so I think it's by accident and not design). The decent gender equity in employment made me suspect, right off the bat, that I probably wouldn't have any issues with sexism.
Indeed, the problem began as what appeared to be ageism. Everyone immediately assumed I was a student worker right off the bat, which was forgivable, since I was (and still am) the youngest full-time employee. Since most people at my job are old enough to be my parents (or grandparents), I was frequently treated like a favored daughter. Things I would do were "cute." When I displayed superior technical skill to a coworker, it was novel. I became the fashion standard for the office (which is bizarre, considering I'm a gender-bender and alternate dressing butch and a femme depending on my mood). To be fair, the latter is odd, but probably nothing discriminatory.
I rarely volunteered my age except to say, "No, I'm not a student worker," and it eventually came to my attention that most people thought I must have been in my late twenties.
That was when I began to wonder.
Would anything I did be "cute" if I was a man?
Would people be comfortable putting their hand on my chair as we talk if I was a man?
Would people be so fixated on my "fashion" if I was a man?
Would it be novel when it turns out I'm intelligent if I was a man?
In general, would I be treated in such a diminutive fashion if I was a young male rather than a young female?
For the most part, I have been treated with total fairness, and I've been at my job long enough that I'm a fixture now. People do seem to think that they have to talk about my clothing or hair when they see me, and while I still don't understand it, an equilibrium has otherwise been reached. I'm only reminded of the strange way people behave around me when there's a new hire or an outside consultant, and then it starts all over again-- standing closer to me than they would a male colleague, acting like I can't possibly be as competent as someone else, asking for a male coworker when I'm the first to respond to a problem, having conversations with my chest.
If I was a young man, would this happen? I doubt it.
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Indeed, the problem began as what appeared to be ageism.
If you were a young dude you would find that your biggest problems come from older (over fifty) women.
Its seems like they are carrying a lifetime of shit and try and dump it one the weakest male in the social structure.
What a lovely generalisation. Let's not feed the trolls, and leave it alone.
Hmm, that probably wouldn't happen. But you get a new bag of issues when you have a penis. Although many of those things asked I've seen done to both males and females.
As a young guy, you need to prove yourself to everyone. Not just that your competent enough for the job, but that your mature enough to show up.
Let's not assume men don't get the same. My experience says otherwise.
I will agree about ageism, one of the most overlooked prejudices. I understand entirely where you're coming from on that side. Ageism has a nasty habit of sticking around, so get in there and say you won't tolerate it. Reason with them, but you have nothing to prove. Administration is the next step...
Raintiger, I don't think you are imagining things.
I transitioned from male to female in my twenties. I was treated very, very differently after I transitioned. Sexism stood out like a sore thumb, because I could easily contrast my experiences when people thought of my as a guy with my experiences when people thought of me as a woman. Generally speaking, I felt as though I were being treated like a child by many men and some women. I've heard other trans women noticing this as well.
timberwraith, I second your observation.
I did my my bodily correction at age 40+, thus at that time had some 20 yrs in computer industry. In the appearance of a male, I was *never ever* questioned!
Nowadays I have to accept fighting of male prejudice against "women cannot possibly know anything about computers" on a regular basis!
Not that hard but it bothers me as I have more important objectives at work :o)
Besides, ageism is rearing its ugly head for me too!
Again, can a soon-to-be-50-woman be an asset, know anything, learn new technology? *sic*
I'd say at least some of this is more ageism based.
Until recently I worked part-time as a mail clerk and the one of the head offices of a bank (I was let go when the entire mail room was closed and the work all outsourced).
I am a young (20) white male, so I don't experience discrimination first-hand very often. I can say when I was at the office I was often called cute by some of the women and "little man" by some of the men. I never complained because I didn't work long hours, the money came in handy for Uni and frankly I never wanted to build a career there. Some people did fixate on my fashion and did get treated with a sense of novelty.
I am not saying sexism wasn't a cause in your situation, I just wanted to say that I think ageism is very much alive and treated as 'playful' in the office