Note: I wrote this over a year ago, and I feel that now is an appropriate time to share it with everyone. I post this in honor of Dr. Tiller, my amazing co-workers, and everyone everywhere who fights for choice.
Originally written April 23, 2008
“Abortion”. A word that still jars people, a word often whispered in public spaces, and a word that brings about a visceral response from most, no matter where they stand on the issue of reproductive rights. My stance has always been one of fervent support of a woman’s right to choose: to choose to end an unwanted pregnancy, to continue a pregnancy to term, and to have at her disposal the information and supplies she needs in order to be in charge of her body as she navigates the fertile stage of life. I never thought I could actually feel more strongly pro-choice until I started working at a women’s clinic that offers abortion services. The right to have access to legal and safe abortion was something I never questioned, yet now I see how extremely important it is for us to never be complacent about this right, and, in fact, we must be proactive about protecting it. This fight for reproductive freedom is about the inviolable right to be the one and only person allowed to make a decision about the fate of one’s very own body, and, thus, one’s entire life.
I’ve held hands with and wiped the tears of women from all walks of life who have made the decision to terminate a pregnancy, and being there for these women has taught me so incredibly much and truly changed my life forever. People would probably be surprised at how often I witness women bonding- telling life stories, laughing, and wishing each other luck- as they sit in the pre-op waiting room. I’ve advocated for women while they experience the typically five-minute procedure fully awake (rather than under general anesthesia, which means they are completely asleep), and I’ve cared for them afterwards in the recovery room, where it is not uncommon to see them share tears of joy and relief. I’ve answered these women’s questions, quelled their fears, and simply listened to them explain why they are there, though no explanation is necessary in my book.
The reasons these women choose abortion and their feelings about the procedure are as varied as the women themselves. Some women are ending a pregnancy they wholeheartedly wanted yet had to terminate due to a fetal anomaly or a maternal health condition. I’ve seen women who were survivors of rape and incest; these women’s circumstances greatly sadden and horrify me, as well as incite a seething anger deep within me toward the people who have violated these women in such an atrocious way. However, these same women instill an overwhelming amount of pride, respect, and compassion in me as they make a life changing decision, which for many allows them to move on, to heal, and to take back their bodies and their sense of power. Considering abortion a so-called “life-changing” decision strikes me as ironic in a way, in that by making this choice women are often attempting to keep their life on its original course, or maybe even trying to move in a new direction without an unnecessary, unwanted, and undeserved burden.
Many women I see at the clinic already have children, sometimes two or three children who are under the age of 5, and have recognized that they don’t have the resources, ability, and/or the desire to raise another child. Some women are childfree and come to these same conclusions, whether it means they wish to remain childfree throughout life or want to postpone childbearing until they are truly ready to have a child. Many minors- young women under the age of 18, who in the state of Georgia must notify a parent or guardian before having an abortion- come to the clinic with their mothers and, sometimes, even grandmothers. Seeing these young, brave girls hugged tightly and told “I love you” and “I’m proud of you” by their moms right before they head to the operating room is always something that tugs at my heartstrings. No matter why the women are there, no matter their circumstances- I see each woman as an individual human being who has the undeniable right to make her own decisions regarding what happens to her body.
Some of the most shocking (and rewarding) things that I have heard women say at the clinic are, “Wow, you guys are so supportive”, “I can’t believe how great you guys are!”, and “Thank you so much!” The reason I consider such gratitude and awe so surprising, even disappointingly so in a way, is that it highlights the fact that abortion itself is not supported and not considered an inherent right in our society, and women who seek abortions still do so under a veil of secrecy and with the expectation that they will be judged. At the clinic where I work, the women are respected as able to make their own bodily choices, treated with empathy and care as they make their decisions, and considered brave, strong, and responsible for taking charge of their lives as they have every right to do. As an aside: one of my favorite pro-choice bumper stickers says, “If you can’t trust her with a choice, how can you trust her with a child?” I love it because it exposes the stark reality that taking away the right to choose means taking away any sense of respect for women as autonomous and conscientious human beings.
It is about time that society treats these women the same way we at the clinic do, and the fact that they are not treated this way in public is plainly telling us that our fight for equality, freedom, and reproductive justice is far from over. We must demand respect for our rights, not only to abortion, but also to decide how to control and manage our reproductive lives using birth control, fertility treatments, or any other method that allows us to choose when or whether we decide to become a parent. No one else will stand up for these rights if we don’t. At the very least, others will incessantly try to strip our rights away, and, unfortunately, we are watching these anti-choice efforts -sometimes subtle, sometimes blatant- occur every day. We must stay completely vigilant and respond with immediacy and zeal with each challenge presented to us. Our bodies, our minds, and our very lives are depending on us to stand up and proclaim that the right to choose is ours, and ours alone .
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I would like to start by saying Thank You!
This is a very amazing post! It is a rarity to have someone post about abortion on a positive note. I must say that I have never agreed more with anything than I have with this posting. It was truly moving and an amazing reminder that there are people out there that care about a woman's true right to her own body. Abortion is not an easy decision for any woman to make but it is a decision they deserve to have and should not be criticized for it. So Thank You!!