I understand that this is perhaps not the right community to share this with, but, I find today's modern wave of feminism very offensive to me. I find a lot of the sentiments on this site very hurtful, and sometimes it seems like some of the women here want me to be ashamed just because I am a man.

Sometimes I feel very unfairly treated. I am a young white male, and there are no special interest groups for me. In fact, if I want to stand up and be proud of my white Dutch heritage, I can't, because the term "White power" is seen as a racist term, where as the term "Black power" or "Female power" is seen as a politically correct term.

Ladies, how am I supposed to take pride in what I am? How am I supposed to not feel shamed by this modern wave of feminism? I have never done anything to hurt anyone, and yet I am judged incorrectly as being "privileged" just because I am white, and male.

But I assure you, nothing is further from the truth. I have had to work hard, bust my a**, and earn everything I have now. No one has ever given me preferential treatment just because I am white, and a man. In fact, I have even been passed over for jobs BECAUSE I am a white man, because companies wanted to look more "diverse", so they would hire people of ethnic origins.

Sometimes I feel very disadvantaged because when I talk with feminists, some of them immediately take a negative tone with me just because of the color of my skin, and my sex.

What do you think I should do? Should I stand up for myself? How can I show the world that I am proud of what I am without being judged?

Tragic as thy are I have a hard time tying these two events together.

This was a very good post. I've thought a lot about the way we think about social problems as "isolated incidents" lately, and how that originates from and is reinforced by some of the libertarian ideals that are commonly espoused by Americans - the primacy of the individual is the biggest example, but also the faith in capitalism.

I definitely get where you're coming from with Implicit Associations. In fact just the other day I was walking around town (I'm on vacation in Costa Rica) and my dad was looking for a place to get his money converted to the local currency. We came by what looked like a bank and we tried to open the door, but it was locked. Shortly after we tried it unlocked and a man in a suit opened the door and asked what we wanted. It did turn out to be a bank and we got our money changed, but I was struck by how alarmed I was at seeing this hispanic man in a suit. If it had been a white man in a suit I would have assumed he was the businessman that he was, but I saw him and I thought "crime" immediately. Why would I think that? I think it's very true that we internalize stereotypes to an alarming degree.

Thank you for posting this.

Hmm...you know, the page makes many assertions which I frequently do not see practiced by those whom claim to be feminist. For example

"A misogynist hates female autonomy. That is the core of the definition of misogynist."

Personally, I have been labeled as a misogynist simply for disagreeing with women, or even questioning feminism. Sometimes I just want to have a conversation about the issues, but I am rejected for discussion because my opinions oppose some certain feminist ideal. It makes discourse with some feminists very frustrating when I am not allowed to express my opinions about certain matters.

For example, I have been banned from pro-abortion websites just for stating why I am personally against abortion, even though I always do so in a respectful, non-antagonistic manner. Sometimes I feel like people don't even want to discuss an issue because they are afraid that my points might be valid.

The way I see it, I welcome any and all challenges to my opinions, because if I am never challenged, I will never grow.

Another thing which worries me is something I read in the FAQ of this site. It says that they don't censor people, but it also says that if your posts do not further the feminist agenda of this website, that they may be deleted, and you might be banned. I don't understand how that does not equal censorship of any dissenting opinion.

If feministing.com is in fact right with all their assertions, shouldn't they welcome any dissenting opinions? I mean, if they are right, then there should be no fear of opposition. Am I correct in this thinking?

Thank you! You've written what I've tried to articulate many times in talking with people who have that bootstrap mentality: "I achieved everything I have all by myself, so why can't anyone else?" This attitude that people of color (of any class, but especially low-income) contribute less to society informs everything from reluctance to fund social investment programs to the racist violence we've seen lately.

And, to Astroboy: anyone who wishes to take part in a feminist community has an obligation to examine how they interact with privilege. As a white woman from the rural south, I am privileged in many ways, and under-privileged in a few. This can be a frustrating, humbling process, but it's valuable.

In our "Race, Gender, and the Media" class, we have discussed some the idea that America is now in a "post-racial society". I tend to disagree with that idea on most levels, but just looking at the incidents within the past few weeks that have a basis in white supremacy you have to reject the idea that our society is post-racial.

The issue of racism is deeply engrained in our psyche, from the media we grew up with and watch now to the interpersonal relationships and reactions we have both witnessed and observed. These “unconscious biases” as Sen refers to them can lead us into a “modern racism”. Modern racism is formed more along the subconscious and subtle prejudices and actions based on race, and less on the public racial biases that were more prevalent in the past (but are still quite visible in actions such as the recent shootings).

But to even say that the majority of racists in our society are “modern racists” would be incorrect even. Growing up in a more southern state in a mostly white semi-rural area, I still have relatives who tend to use racial slurs like there is nothing wrong with it.

@astroboy: Sometimes the concept of privilege is a little harder to grasp at first. It may not be that you’ve had preferential treatment in finding jobs, but there are more subtle ways in which we as white men in America have privilege. In one of my posts I refer to a chapter by Peggy McIntosh titled “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack”. (http://www.case.edu/president/aaction/UnpackingTheKnapsack.pdf) I would suggest reading that to help gain some perspective of what privilege can cover; try substituting other minorities for some of the examples if that helps to understand male privilege rather than white privilege.

Certain moments stick with you in the process of unlearning privilege. In my first quarter at Antioch College in Yellow Springs, Ohio, I had no idea nearly all the students in my dorm were white until a couple of black brothers came over from their dorm to talk to us about what i'd never heard of before, "institutional racism." I didn't get how i was a racist, since two of my four best friends in high school were black. It took an incident in a dime store to inform me. The man ahead of me was paying for a soda and handed the older white woman behind the counter his money. Rather than take it from his hand, she told him, "Put it on the counter." In that moment, I saw my white privilege, the privilege of not being insulted with impunity by somebody whose delusion makes them imagine they are too good to touch anybody with darker skin than theirs. Multiplying that moment by millions makes for a vast amount of privilege I never before had been aware was mine, even as I hung out with Donald and his older brother Ray for two years in high school. I had had no inkling of the kind of shit they had to put up with from fools not that much different (at least in skin color and level of imagination) than me.
To astro guy, read Tim Wise on whiteness. For that matter, read Toni Morrison on Blackness and American literature. If you care enough, you'll study, read a variety of sources, listen listen listen and then maybe find the answers you're seeking in quiet reflection, and next time ask questions with less of a tone of righteous hurt or victimhood and more of a tone of humble amazement that human beings have been being so vicious in so many ways that escaped your/our notice for so many of our early years on this planet.
But you may take the easy way out and join a "men's rights" group that loves to mock feminism and pretend to be the victim of women instead of trying to understand the complexity of society's various forms of disenfranchisement, and take responsibility for knowing and avoiding indulging in the diversity of divide-and-conquer tactics the colonialist ruling classes have used to maintain and expand their domination over the rest of us, regardless of our sex, sexual orientation, age, income, level of success in school or the military or jail or wherever, our ethnicity or size or "looks" or speed or talent or various rankings and statuses etc.

The really frightening thing about these tragedies is when I think back to a few months ago. When the Department of Homeland Security released a report stating that right-wing extremism posed the most dangerous threat of domestic terrorism to this country. After Obama was elected, white supremacist groups were totally stoked about it--because they knew it would be a powerful tool for recruiting and radicalizing new members. A black man is president, look what this country has come to, we have to reclaim America for the white race, etc. It's great propaganda fodder.

But when that report came out, people were flippin' a shit all over the place. Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, and co. were popping blood vessels in outrage. American terrorists??? And white ones at that??? Madness!! (Apparently, everyone has forgotten about Timothy McVeigh)

Fast forward a couple months and look where we've found ourselves.

If you asked an 8 year old to draw a picture of a terrorist, everyone knows what they would draw.
Say the word terrorist to a full-grown adult and chances are, the same image will materialize in their minds as well. When will Americans face that perhaps the most imminent threats to this country are right here among us.