I read this at the website NotAlwaysRight. If the Barista's experience is true, the story is very sad. But the "why aren't you smiling" discussion has made repeat appearances here at feministing, so I thought I'd share it.
(Note: I’m a customer and overhear this exchange while waiting in line.)
Barista: “Here’s your change… have a nice day.”
Customer: “You know, you haven’t smiled once.”
Barista: “Sorry.”
Customer: “I’m so sick of the attitude of people in the service industry! Is it so hard to give your customers a smile as you’re pouring water through beans? You all are so arrogant, it makes me sick!”
Barista: *eyes begin to well up*
Customer: “Why aren’t you smiling?!”
Barista: “…because my father died last night.”
(At this point, you could hear a pin drop. The customer is literally glared out of the shop, forgetting her coffee.)
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Sad or not, if you're unable to perform a basic function of your job (in this case, polite friendliness to customers), you shouldn't be at work that day.
This is not a "Women should smile more!" issue of sexism. It's not sexism at all.
Your personal life should not interfere with your professional one, even if you just pour coffee at Starbucks.
If you find that it is, stay home. Call out.
You're obnoxious. Not everyone can afford to not work any day they don't feel like it. And I rarely ever see male baristas being cheery, and no one ever lectures them.
oh. The male baristas are always way friendlier than the female ones when I get coffee...
“I’m so sick of the attitude of people in the service industry! Is it so hard to give your customers a smile as you’re pouring water through beans? You all are so arrogant, it makes me sick!”
That is just, simply, a rude thing to say. To anyone. Ever.
I get grumpy and cheerful people at the counter.
And if a person (m/f) behind the counter is forced to work the day after her father died, your labour laws are seriously effed up.
Seriously.
Poor thing.
(and the kind of person that doesn't recognise the fact that there's a lot of people out there who cannot afford to miss a day at work, even in the most tragic of circumstances need to seriously reconsider posting their condescending SHIT here.)
males are always more... women are always more...
i'm having trouble taking your statement seriously
Staying home when really depressed over a death is not always a good idea. Sometimes the healthiest thing is to keep busy. Not every body gets off days or can afford to also. Yes, people performing whatever job should be friendly and polite (and this includes bosses to their workers) but the flip side is that customers need to be friendly and polite too. Lecturing somebody cause they are not smiling is not friendly or polite. Regardless, everybody has their days, and a death certainly qualifies. If the barista had insulted her customer unprovoked than it would not really be ok, but simply not smiling is not cause to get such an a-hole lecture.
but the flip side is that customers need to be friendly and polite too.
Customers aren't being PAID to be friendly and polite. In a customer service position, part of your paid duties involve that polite friendliness.
The customer isn't an employee who has behavior that is mandated via paycheck and agreed-upon terms of employment.
Ideally, yes, people's personal lives would not affect their professional ones, but come one, cut her some slack. Not everyone can avoid working every time they're upset. She might have to work that day, and every other.
Then don't let it interfere with your job. I'm sorry you find that harsh, but that's how it goes.
It's simply unprofessional to let your personal life impact your professional one, period.
have seen customers treat female customer service personnel this way, demanding that they be cheery, and complaining when they aren't.
Again, because customer service employees are SUPPOSED to be cheery, they are being PAID to be cheery.
I have NEVER seen someone tell a male stranger to smile.
I get it all the time from random women. Sure, anecdotal, but just because you don't experience it doesn't mean it doesn't occur.
There is a difference between being rude and not being friendly. "Not smiling" != rude. "Demanding a smile from someone you don't know" DOES = rude.
Most management (if not all) in such industries WILL, in fact, stress the importance of smiling at your customers, as a lack of one is perceived as "unfriendly".
I think what you're missing here is that at the root of everything, the customer and employee are both people and deserve to be treated with respect, regardless of who is "paying."
One of my best friends used to work for Starbucks. He earned $7 an hour, no benefits of any kind. I think it costs a little bit more than that for an employer to require a certain mood or demeanor from you. As I said before, everyone should be treated with respect, but that doesn't require a smile and a kiss on the ass. I don't know if you've ever worked in a service industry situation, but six months of working at Wal-Mart taught me that having to smile in front of every customer felt a little bit like my heart was being raped. It was a feeling I can't explain, but if I spent too much time smiling when I wasn't happy, I couldn't manage to actually feel happy when I got home.
"I think what you're missing here is that at the root of everything, the customer and employee are both people and deserve to be treated with respect, regardless of who is 'paying.'"
Exactly!
The customer in the post was completely rude. If I was in her position, I'd want to ask the barista "if it's not too personal, what's wrong?" (although I'd probably wimp out and not say anything, just look a bit sad myself in an attempt to show sympathy, if there were people in line behind me).
It's wrong to wish death, disaster and dismay into a fellow commenter's personal life, but damn, you are in serious need of some perspective.
Echoing what other people have said: some people literally cannot afford to take a day off of work. Whether it's because of previous outstanding illness which has taken all their sick/personal time, or it's because they don't get paid enough to allow for them not to work, some people simply cannot take a day off -- no matter the circumstance.
You said this:
Customers aren't being PAID to be friendly and polite. In a customer service position, part of your paid duties involve that polite friendliness.
The customer isn't an employee who has behavior that is mandated via paycheck and agreed-upon terms of employment.
As someone who works in a customer service phone center, I can tell you flat out you're wrong. I'm not paid to be nice to anyone. I'm not paid, even, to deal with asshole people. I can refuse to serve anyone I want to on grounds of them being abusive. Anyone in a service industry can refuse to give that service to anyone deemed threatening or abusive by the worker. It's their obligation to do their job; their job does not involve taking shit from random strangers about smiling.
The customer in the OP is being abusive to the barista. Smiling is not necessarily courtesy and politeness. This customer is confusion platitude with good service.
The barista took the order and did everything right. There's nothing the barista didn't do, as far as I can tell, aside from not smile. Smiling is not an obligation of good service; this customer is a shithead.
Your comments about unprofessionality involving the death of a loved one are seriously skewed. Any manager with any sense of talent and pride in what they do will recognize that that employee will not be able to perform up to 100% standard. It cuts in all directions.
No. The barrista is being paid to serve coffee. Treating people with respect is part of being human, and everyone deserves to be treated politely. Smiling is not part of being polite. Smiling is an extra bonus.
No, customers pay for profesional service, not a smile. If you think that somehow, because you're paying, people are supposed to be bright-and-sunny to you, you're dead wrong.
If you need someone to make you feel good about yourself, you need a shrink, not a cup of coffee.
As a few other people have said, baristas are being paid to serve coffee, not to take care of your feelings. I'd also like to add that there is a term for this- emotional labor- and that it's something that women are disproportionately expected to do at work. This works in two ways. First, women are overrepresented in customer service fields where they're expected to take care of people in some way- flight attendants, for example, are often expected not to just attend to physical needs but to be a comforting presence and to say reassuring things. Second, when men and women are both working the same job, women are still expected to do the emotional aspect of the work more often. This is what everyone has been talking about on this and other threads when they've said no one bothers male coffee-makers about not smiling, as long as the coffee is on time and made correctly.
The point is, maintaining a particular emotion and fostering pleasant feelings in other people is WORK. If it's part of a job, it should be legally recognized as part of the job and it should be something employees are compensated for in addition to their other duties. If it's not part of the job, we should be leaving minimum wage baristas the fuck alone.
I understand that you feel that women are made to have more emotional labour in the workplace, but you fail to recognize the fact that men are expected to take on more physically exertive and dangerous work. For example in the police force in many countries where there are both male and female officers, in a dangerous confrontation with a violent individual, it will be the man, not the woman, who will have to deal with them.So before you start citing the inequalities in what kind of work is expected of whom, look at both sides of the coin.
Ideally, yes, people's personal lives would not affect their professional ones, but come one, cut her some slack. Not everyone can avoid working every time they're upset. She might have to work that day, and every other.
Besides, I'm inclined to say she did her job just fine. She poured the coffee. The customer got what they paid for.
Most importantly, I suppose it's conceivable that this wasn't sexism, but I would say 99 times out of 100, it is. I have seen customers treat female customer service personnel this way, demanding that they be cheery, and complaining when they aren't. I have NEVER, in my entire life, seen someone act like that to a man. I have NEVER seen someone tell a male stranger to smile. Maybe this customer was such a person as would do that, but I highly doubt it.
I, a 44-yr old, ordinary looking guy, actually have gotten that twice, both times from some random man somewhere in his 60's. (Just out on the street, not as a customer service rep.)
I happen to be blessed with the sort of face where, when the mind gets involved in another task, the face goes into neutral, which on my bone structure looks to many people like a scowl. I think they maybe think they are being helpful.
I think next time I may look him square in the eye and say, "I had a stroke when I was 38. I AM smiling."
Interesting to hear that this happens to guys, too. I have the same thing- my "neutral" face is interpreted as a scowl. I've found out in roundabout ways that people I've never spoken to think I hate them because I'm always frowning at them.
In high school, I found this button that expressed it all for me, and wore it for about two years straight. It said "Yes, it does hurt when I smile." People left me alone. It was beautiful.
If you find that you (due to your boss/manager or your economy) are forced to go to work the day after your father dies, even though you are not able to perform the stupid rutines a spoiled, arrogant customer insists that you have to to for their enjoyment, then it's about time you organize and fight for the right to get the worker's rights that we have in most other democratic countries.
I think this story could be used to highlight how women are always supposed to be smiling, and just how rude it is to call someone out on not smiling.
But, I believe Barista is a gender neutral word? This might not have been about a woman at all.
In a customer service job, you are required to be friendly and cheery to your customers. Anyone who has ever held those jobs will tell you that their managers stress that.
If you're rude to customers, you'll be in trouble. The end.
It's not rude to be offended when your customer service associate isn't being pleasant. It's their job to be pleasant.
I think it's a jump from "barista didn't smile," which was the perception of the customer, and "barista was rude," which neither the exchange nor the customer in question indicates. One can be perfectly pleasant, polite, and professional without being smiley - the folks who fixed my smoothie a few minutes ago were just that.
Having worked in the service industry, quite frankly, I think *customers* are the ones who often need to work on things like basic manners ...
And maybe I'm being overly sensitive on behalf of this barista, but yo, I am so sick and tired of nearly everyone I encounter (on the street, on the bus, in stores and restaurants) thinking that my emotions are public property and open to comment.
There is a difference between being rude and not being friendly. "Not smiling" != rude. "Demanding a smile from someone you don't know" DOES = rude.
And the job of someone in customer service is to be of service to the customer, in this case, to make and serve coffee. Being pleasant is often a nice bonus for the customer, but it's not the main requirement.
I've waited tables and bartended for years. Guess what, there were days that I didn't feel like smiling all fricking day long. That's perfectly fine and my managers thought so too. I worked the day after my grandfather died and my manager said, "Do the best you can, I understand." Not, "Well to fucking bad. Get out there and smile or don't come in at all." As long as I was still able to get the orders right and wasn't cursing out the customers for no reason they didn't care. All that really happened on those days was that my tips weren't as big as usual. No where in this exchange did the customer say anything about the barista being rude, she just wasn't smiling. Oh my god, call the cops!
People have shitty days and still have to come to work. That's life. People have bills to pay. They don't deserve to be lectured by some asshole customer or you about not smiling while pouring coffee. That customer rightly probably felt like shit after hearing why this barista wasn't smiling and hopeful said customer will think twice next time before lecturing someone about something so stupid in the future.
No one said she wasn't being pleasant. Christ.
I waited tables for a number of years, you really cannot please everyone. Some will think you're too cheery, not cheery enough, too attentive, too distant, etc. Different generations interpret things differently and really, "here's your change, have a nice day" should probably have been sufficient. (assuming the change was handed politely and a pleasant look was exchanged, even if we all do have personal issues that affect our moods). The customer may have been having a bad day as well because that was a pretty obnoxious thing to say.
Wow. Yeah, it was definitely the customer being obnoxious there.
Those who work in customer service, especially women, are seen as public property. I worked in a shop and got comments of the 'why aren't you smiling, why can't you look happy' etc. etc. type a lot. I was perfectly pleasant - just not smiley.
The barista, whether smiling or not, certainly isn't being impolite. It's unfortunate that the barista had to work the day after her fathers death, but whether a company allows you to take time off after a family death or allows you PAID time of is different. Not everyone can afford to do that. And clearly, the customer has never worked in the service industry.
multipass - I've worked several service type jobs and never once in my contract did it say I needed to be cheery. It said I needed to provide prompt, polite and accurate service, not that I needed to smile every second of every day. So before you go assuming they're being PAID to do anything, you better be sure you know exactly what is in their contract.
"Customer: “I’m so sick of the attitude of people in the service industry! Is it so hard to give your customers a smile as you’re pouring water through beans? You all are so arrogant, it makes me sick!”
And not the faintest inkling that her own attitude might be a contributing factor in her experience of the world around her. Sigh.
I'm so glad to have read everyone's comments on here, with the obvious exception of Multipass. As a barista, it's refreshing to see so many in support of the days we have that don't necessarily make it easy for us to smile at every person who comes in. And most of us do work for tips as well, even if we still make minimum wage - which means that we accept the fact that tips might go down if we fail to meet a particular customer's needs. Sounds like this customer needs a serious reality check. My favorite saying is "EVERYONE should have to work in service for some amount of time in their lives!" Multipass, sounds like you need the same.
"EVERYONE should have to work in service for some amount of time in their lives!"
Definitely. Either that or we need a magical system where everyone who has never worked in service is automatically charged gratuity. :)
My favorite saying is "EVERYONE should have to work in service for some amount of time in their lives!"
Sadly, this would be quite difficult for some of us - I basically excluded service from my list of possible jobs because I have a middling-to-severe very noticeable speech disorder, plus some autistic issues that would probably make it an unmitigated disaster. That said, I do my best to be extremely polite to service people and not make their lives harder because I know they're doing a job where I suspect I'd crash and burn within hours.
I never expect a smile from service people. I know what a rough job that can be and figure they have enough on their plate.
"I never expect a smile from service people. I know what a rough job that can be and figure they have enough on their plate."
Exactly!
Also, I admit I had occasionally snapped at a customer service worker myself, like after not being able to find any trousers that fit in the 7th store in the mall (like "nothing fits!!! I have hips wider than my waist, why don't any clothes makes think women are like that anymore?!"). I immediately apologized for being such a jerk.
After all, the sales associates in the store don't pick the merchandise, decide which items get made, etc. That's also what I said to the sales associates who apologized to me for not having what I wanted (like "It's not your fault, you're not the one who decided what gets made, you have nothing to apologize for..."). It seems like training for the job these days includes taking the blame for all sorts of stuff one didn't do, which is damn sad.
As someone why has worked in customer service non-stop since she was 16--no, smiling is not a requirement of the job.
Being polite, yes. Does that necessarily translate to smiling at every customer? Nope. Granted, I try to, because I like making tips. If you're rude to me, I'll preform my job and give you prompt service, but I'm certainly not going to to out of my way to be friendly to you. Many employers, especially outside of giant corporate chains, don't mind an employee being curt with a rude customer--some have, in my experience, gone as far as encouraging it in the past.
I'm a good worker because I'm efficient and polite. Not because of my smile.
Also, customer service is not looked at the same way in every country. In some countries, conversing with the person behind the counter/waiting on the table is almost unheard of. Depending on where you are, its discourteous to try and engage someone in that sort of interaction in conversation. They ask, you serve, they pay. Done.
Customer: “I’m so sick of the attitude of people in the service industry! Is it so hard to give your customers a smile as you’re pouring water through beans? You all are so arrogant, it makes me sick!”
Who pissed in your coffee this morning? Oh yeah . . . .
He earned $7 an hour, no benefits of any kind. I think it costs a little bit more than that for an employer to require a certain mood or demeanor from you.
That's really poor. I would hate to be your employer, if that's how you think. That's the kind of person who steals office supplies because they don't feel they're being paid enough. Or whom slack excessively at work, because "They're getting what they pay for."
Hate your job, love your job, but you're still being paid to do it. To intentionally do it poorly because you feel you deserve more for it is a hideous work ethic.
I don't know if you've ever worked in a service industry situation, but six months of working at Wal-Mart taught me that having to smile in front of every customer felt a little bit like my heart was being raped. It was a feeling I can't explain, but if I spent too much time smiling when I wasn't happy, I couldn't manage to actually feel happy when I got home.
But the point is, you're expected to. I use facial expressions when social/work situations require them. I feel silly about it, because I don't normally use them, but I do it anyway. That's just how it works.
It's wrong to wish death, disaster and dismay into a fellow commenter's personal life, but damn, you are in serious need of some perspective.
First, you're a sick individual. Second, I watched my father die in my living room. And moved on.
And, just for fun, I'm divorced, too. And worked the next day, and nobody even knew about it.
I think I have enough perspective, thanks.
*sniff sniff* Is that a troll I smell?
Troll: someone who posts controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.[wikipedia, emphasis mine]
I'm pretty sure Multipass means what he/she says and isn't saying it just to get a rise out of people. That doesn't make it a decent attitude to have (and I certainly wouldn't ever want to work for him/her), but the frequent accusations of trolling whenever anyone says anything offensive are, in my opinion, problematic: calling someone a troll is tantamount to saying "you don't really believe that, you're just saying it to get a rise out of us."
Again, let me be clear in saying that I'm not defending Multipass' opinion, which I personally find somewhat reprehensible. In the absence of evidence to the contrary though, I think we should probably go ahead and assume that he or she is speaking their honest opinion.
On the other hand, I acknowledge the possibility that I'm completely wrong and have just been *very* effectively trolled.
On topic: I think part of the issue here is that most of us are operating with different definitions of politeness. I don't think anyone here would claim that it is okay for someone in a service position to be impolite while performing their job, so the real question is "what constitutes being impolite?" While I think that the answer to that question will vary substantially from person to person, when evaluating someone's job performance it seems reasonable to assume that they should be held to general societal standards of politeness.
It also seems that, in general, a bright and cheery disposition, while certainly something that most people would like to encounter from service personnel, is not required in order to satisfy the societal requirements for politeness.
There was plenty that was irrelevant and inflammatory about those posts, but maybe it's just wishful thinking to say he's a troll
Brother, just because you suffer from some sort of complex, perhaps due to society's sexism, that renders you unable to have emotions does not mean that others shouldn't have emotions.
Learn to be compassionate and feel for others - it'll get you a long way - and I am not even talking feminism here.
I just read about two minutes of your post and I want to divorce you. I wonder how your husband/wife could have lasted long ...
How long was it?
I just read about two minutes of your post and I want to divorce you. I wonder how your husband/wife could have lasted long ...
How long was it?
I figured this would come round eventually.
"Oh, he holds an opinion I disagree with! I must assume that any ill issues in their married life must obviously have been their fault, despite my complete lack of knowledge of the situation!"
Good job, really.
No, it was completely my ex-wife's fault, in it's entirety, if you must know. Not that it's any of your business or concern.
God this is such a disaster. Marc-- inappropriate. Multipass-- just stop commenting!
Awesome! Problem solved!
Mark, just because Multipass obviously has little to no respect for people's feelings doesn't mean we have to stoop to his level. Your comment was not appropriate.
I did not in fact wish misfortune on you, merely expressed disbelief that you could maintain such a harsh stance in the face of personal experience. Be that as it may, your wish for a world so thoroughly professional as to leave no room for compassion in the face of tragedy is pathological.
I did not in fact wish misfortune on you, merely expressed disbelief that you could maintain such a harsh stance in the face of personal experience. Be that as it may, your wish for a world so thoroughly professional as to leave no room for compassion in the face of tragedy is pathological.
Sure sounded like you did.
Anyway, I can maintain such a stance in the face of personal experience because of that. I understand the importance of keeping the personal from the professional.
That said, the professional world SHOULD be so professional. You can have time for personal issues in your personal time. That makes the most sense to me.
Multipass is one of those people who has probably had numerous 'loogie burgers' and 'dishwater drinks' because of her (?) delusion that those working in the service industry are dancing monkeys there for entertainment value and to inflate her sense of importance and entitlement.
Also, your class privilege is showing. Check that shit at the door before you come back in here telling minimum wage workers what they are and aren't paid to do.
Multipass is one of those people who has probably had numerous 'loogie burgers' and 'dishwater drinks' because of her (?) delusion that those working in the service industry are dancing monkeys there for entertainment value and to inflate her sense of importance and entitlement.
Uh, lol. Service industry personnel are, in fact, there to serve other people. That's the name of the game. Not to sit on their cellphone at the drive through, or do any other various thing I've seen them do.
Also, your class privilege is showing. Check that shit at the door before you come back in here telling minimum wage workers what they are and aren't paid to do.
How is it "class privilege"? I'm afraid you don't even know what you're talking about. Just read the comment above from the person who worked at Walmart. Managerial staff are quite clear that employees are to smile at customers, as they can otherwise easily complain that the employee was unfriendly.
No, people in the service industry are people who provide service not servants.
Behave like a nice people and those in the service industry will treat you with respect. Act like a douche and don't be surprised when you find your bread under the canned goods.
If you don't know what class privilege is, then you probably have no business making comments like that on a feminist site.
Perhaps it's time to learn a bit about the challenges of working class people, and understand that not everyone can or even can AFFORD to take a day off.
Not everyone has the same opportunities as you, nor do they experience pain the same way as you.
That person working to serve you isn't a freaking slave - it's someone who has emotions, who experiences pain, and how has human challenges. There's more to that person than the freaking uniform they're wearing.
Check your freaking privilege.
Again, when they are at work, they ARE that "freaking uniform". Their personal troubles, struggles, hopes and dreams are completely irrelevant to the job they are doing at the time.
There's no "freaking privilege" to check. It's a valid statement. You know nothing about my life, or anything from it to be able to make that statement.
I'm sorry that I don't take abuse from customer service reps who hate their jobs and choose to take that frustration out on customers.
Abuse to you is not receiving a smile?!?! Gee, I wish I had your PRIVILEGED life. If that was the only thing that went wrong in my day I'd count my lucky stars.
No, he was blathering on about the fact that person behind the counter is this that and the other thing.
I was pointing out that all of those are aspects of that individual's personal life, which has nothing to do with their professional life.
Gee, I wish I had your PRIVILEGED life. If that was the only thing that went wrong in my day I'd count my lucky stars.
I fail to see how disliking customer service personnel's propensity towards rudeness is a "privileged life".
You don't even make sense with that statement.
No, the only one blathering here is you. Notice the only one agreeing with you is...you.
The only thing this barista is said to have not done is smiled. Apparently that's abusing the customer in your eyes. Look up privileged. I think it would do you some good. Also maybe try to understand that YOUR experience dealing with grief and loss isn't EVERYONE'S experience dealing with grief and loss. I know it's a tricky concept but come on, you can do it.
I worked as a barista for 5 years all supporting myself all through college, and their absolutely was a double standard between behavoir expectations of male and female baristas.
Mind you, this wasn't a chain, but an independent shop. Female baristas were expected to be super bubbly, but male baristas didn't have too because they were being cool.
Customers expected coolness from the male baristas and would ask how his band was doing. Like there was an assumption that any man working as a barsista was just transitioning into being a great artist or whatever. So their brooding was to be expected.
The same leeway wasn't available to female baristas. I can only imagine that the assumption was that we had nothing better going for us and better damn well flirt our asses off.
I really don't understand what all the argument is about. A barista that was doing her job was given unsolicited advice about how she should "smile more." The customer was very very rude about it, and the barista gave her a statement that shocked the shit out of her. As far as I'm concerned, if a customer decides to chew me out for just doing my job (without a silly ass grin on my face the entire transaction), I have no problem even lying to the person about my father's death. It is not a customer's place to tell a service worker to smile. One can be very professional and polite without smiling. If you think your service employees owe you a song and dance routine, well sorry-- you're wrong.
Hey kids, let's stop piling on Multipass. Asshole he is. But from his description of his view of social interaction ("I use facial expressions when social/work situations require them. I feel silly about it, because I don't normally use them..."), he probably has a lot bigger problems. We neuroatypicals are people too, even if we aren't well trained.
Yeah, that statement was an eye-opener. One would think, however, that Multipass might have enough awareness to realize that his responses fall far enough outside the norm that they can't be expected to apply to the rest of the world.
Puts a whole new spin on making allowances for people, doesn't it?
It still doesn't change the accurate opinion that one is supposed to separate their professional and personal lives.
("I use facial expressions when social/work situations require them. I feel silly about it, because I don't normally use them..."), he probably has a lot bigger problems.
I find this a little problematic. Different is not a "problem", or does not mean that someone "has problems".
I wouldn't consider it to be having problems.
I work a minimum-wage job at a department store to get me through grad school, and to be honest, as it's not my career path, I don't treat it like my "professional life." Thus I act the same there as I act in real life.
Generally I'm very polite and cheery--the management tells me all the time that they get positive comments about me. That's because I'm inclined to be polite to people who are polite to me. Also--I have some discretion about giving people minor discounts that could go one way or the other, giving them coupons, etc, just stuff the management leaves to the sales staff, and if you approach me with a problem and you're polite about it, I'll probably give you some extra coupons, etc.
If you're a rude snot, I'll be rude back. I'll do the minimum to get you out of my face and out the door. And after you leave, you can bet all of the other employees and even management at times are discussing what a snot you were and how we hope not to have to work with you again.
I'm willing to bet you haven't worked in service, or if you have, it's been a number of years. I wish people like you could sit behind a register for eight hours.
That being said, the majority of people I deal with are very nice and polite and I'm the same way back to them.
People are still people, when it comes down to it, and we'll cooperate if you will. It's up to you how you want to treat people, but let me tell you first hand, if you're polite it has benefits.
Yup. Though I must say that though sitting behind a cash register for six hours is bad enough, that in many of the jobs (and the one I worked) we had to stand the entire time (either on the floor or behind the cash register) except for our lunch break, and dressed up, not in sneakers. Thats what really made that job bad and not something I had really thought about until I had to do it.
Expecting people to keep their personal and professional lives completely separate is why mothers are still discriminated against in the workplace. Need to pick up your kids from daycare or school on time? Not my problem lady, you shouldn't have had kids or else stay at home with them. Us big boys are trying to do some real WORK and we don't let our personal lives interfere in making as much money for our employers as possible.
Please.