Wow, it must be hard to go to a conservative school. My school is pretty liberal, but we had abstinence-only education, too. We had sex ed in 7th grade, and back then, I believed everything that the teacher said. I wish I knew what I know now and that I had stood up and told the truth about contraceptives and sex.

Good for you for sticking up to people! I probably wouldn't have the courage to do it, especially if I was the only one who felt that way.

I don't have any tips besides to keep doing what you're doing, maybe you'll change a few people's minds about things.

First, I want to applaud you for being so willing to stand up to your friends and classmates. So many people don't have nearly as much courage as you do, especially as a high school freshman!

I had some pretty intense abstinence-only (slash outright lies) sex ed in high school; I don't think I went in as prepared as you were, but one thing my friends and I would do is ask for specific facts and figures. "How many people contracted cancer last year from condoms? Where can I find out that information? What percentage of birth control users gain weight? What study was that, and on which specific type of birth control?" I did this in a curious way, as if I truly just wanted more information. I found that this severely discredited the speaker, when she couldn't answer any of our questions.

This post really brought me back... I'm a college sophomore now at a school with a Women's Center, an active GLBTQI community, etc. but just two years ago I was in the midst of coming to terms with feminism in a private Catholic school that preached abstinence only.

The online community can be an AMAZING place to get support and grow as a feminist even when you are physically in a place where your feminism is getting little support. Feministing is a fantastic place for this but there are other sites too. thefbomb.org is a new teen feminist blog, for one. Also, since you mentioned sex-ed specifically, have you ever been to amplifyyourvoice.org? I'm a blogger for Amplify - they feature teen bloggers talking about feminist issues like reproductive rights, you can even register and add your own opinion!

On the abstinence only front I totally understand your frustration because it is all too familiar to me - I too was the girl trying to set the facts straight to her friends in whispers during abstinence-only speeches and lessons. I'm tempted to encourage you to question your teachers out loud when they spread misinformation but I understand the major risks of taking something like that on!

Whats your school's policy on clubs? Maybe you can try & start a young feminists group at your school to get some help in taking on these issues :) Good luck!

If you ever want someone who's been through this all before to talk to you can e-mail me at sunfollowers@gmail.com.

Also, if you're compelled to start a blog of your own to speak out, let me know, I'm trying to compile a list of resources for teen feminists here: http://imaginetoday.net/im-a-teenage-feminist/

-Jill

Your situation sounds a lot like mine in high school. Small, Christian, conservative public school. I know how much of a struggle it can be. Luckily I did not have abstinence-only education (definitely abstinence-themed, but not abstinence-only), so I can't give specific advice.

But, I think that it is ultimately important to talk to as many people as you can about the false things that the teacher is spreading. Raise your hand and ask questions in class about the misinformation in class. You could even bring your concerns to the school board with other people who share your values (however few they are).

It sounds like you are approaching being a feminist in high school well so far, especially for being a freshman. I know I was too shy to say anything as a freshman, but that changed as I went through the grades. I just kept looking forward to college where I could choose where I went based on the values of the school and the student body.

I would say keep it up and keep questioning what people say. I think that's one of the best ways to point out the prejudice in what people say. You could even look at starting a feminist club or something. But it's just important to always stand up for your values.

as far as abstinence only education classes, my recommendation is to arm yourself with accurate information, and be the person who continuously raises their hand to point out the factual errors whenever the teacher makes them.

the CDC is a good source of information. so is the alan guttmacher institute.

thank you guys! i will be sure to take all of your tips and hints :)

hey Caitlin, I totally understand your situation. I am a recent high school graduate who wne through the same thing. I actually got sent to detention for saying the word vagina in class once. First are your parents supportive of your beliefs? Will they get mad if you get in trouble at school even if its for stupid reasons? If the answer is yes to the first and no to the second question I suggest that you stand up to your teachers, faculty, ect. They cannot do anything except put you in detention for standing up for your beliefs, even in school we have rights granted by the constitution that they can't fight against. When you speak up in class do it in a nojudgemental way that makes it seem like you are only trying to learn and the teacher may not even harrass you about it. As far as the other people in your school goes, it'll make you unpopular but you need to inform them that the things they say are wrong and hurtful and they shouldn't be saying things like that. Anyways do you really want to be friends with people who do not accept your views or respect others rights to live their lives. If you need help or would like to just vent my email is sabrinnie621@aol.com. Its a tough position to be in but you can get through it, and support is only a mouse click away

If I would offer some advice, I would say that you should first do a lot of research into what feminism is and the alternative viewpoints that are out there. Considering that you can't be more than what, 16, it would probably serve you better to wait to label yourself until you are familiar with more information, though you might experience a kind of "growing out" of the feminist phase.

Scarleteen.com is a kickass sex-ed website. If nothing, you could direct your friends over there.

Good on you for speaking up. :) Unfortunately trying to put forth a sex-positive viewpoint in an environment like that can be like banging your head against a brick wall, but I think you've hit on the right approach in pointing out double standards and making information available to those who want it. Start with the things you can change, y'know? Defusing everyday incidents of slut-shaming and gay-bashing with a dose of nice cold logic is a great way to make a difference among your peers.

Okay found what I was looking for:

"...the good judge in a particular area is the person educated in that area... This is why a youth is not a suitable student of political science [feminism]; for he lacks experience of the actions in life which political science argues from and about.

Moreover, since he tends to be guided by his feelings, his study will be futile and useless; for its end is action, not knowledge.

...an immature person, like an incontinent person, gets no benefit from his knowledge."

-Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics

There are a few other sentences from that same Aristotle text you quoted that I think are relevent.

"...the deficiency does not depend on age, but results from following his feelings in his life and in a given pursuit..."

"But for those who accord with reason in forming their desires and in their actions, knowledge of political science will be of great benefit."

In my opinion this is a little off topic, because I don't think you can really equate feminism with political science. But that said, I also think the idea that teenagers can't be good students of political science is insulting. As a 16-year-old college student working toward a degree in political science, I think it's a discredit to hermietastic to imply that she is too young to come to a rational decision regarding her own political and ideological beliefs.

In a society where teenagers are often stereotyped as apathetic and ignorant regarding political and social issues, I hardly think it wise to discourage someone from making a stand for what they believe in because they're young. I think it's great that there's places like this where young feminists can come to ask questions, and that that should be encouraged.