Yep, I'm queer, and it's the primary thing I identify as (which is amusing, because it makes many un-queer allies nervous when I use it in mixed company). My own usage was reinforced by the identity and inclusion wars over trans women. So many people seemed to want to strip away what they felt were their identities from me, so I just figured, fine, take woman, take lesbian, take all these words if me being them challenges you so clearly, but you can't take queer - no matter what you say I am, I'll always be queer.

Queer here. Queer is my word for "SERIOUSLY, I'm NOT straight". I'm a femme bisexual leaning lesbian, and I'm beyond tired of people assuming that since I dress girly and have a longterm boyfriend, I'm a straight exhibitionist party girl or bi-curious. People seem to react more believingly to "queer".

Also, it doesn't erase my boyfriend from my life, as "lesbian" does, even though that's how I identified before we met.

there was a DARcomic about this exact topic last week; a reader here actually made a post about it.

http://www.darcomic.org/2009/06/23/identity/

im not the biggest fan of the word "queer," personally, although i respect the right of anyone to call themselves whatever they want. every word, even "queer" has is stereotypes and assumptions that come with it, and im just so over it. i personally dont think "queer" is any less of a loaded word than "bi." with that said, people should be able to identify as either of those words *without* the assumptions that come with them.

i am attracted to a wide spectrum of people, so, when questioned about my orientation, i usually say i am attracted to humans. :D

I've always interpreted queer to mean "One who refuses to be labeled according to sexual preference."

I feel like queer is more of an adjective than a noun, if that makes sense. To queer is to reject identity labels, so to make queer a label kind of contradicts what queer theorists were writing against. I will say I am in a queer relationship, but I identify as bisexual. I just have problems with the idea that a word that is meant to react against and reject labels becomes a boundary-policing label.

To me, queer is not just a word that describes my sexuality, but also my beliefs on gender. I have been attracted to men, women, and people who don't fit into that binary. "Bisexual" doesn't fit because it upholds the binary, and because it sounds so clinical to me! I also have never felt that I have two sexualities - I am just attracted to people, and how I feel about people usually has nothing to do with gender. Using the word "queer" is a political statement, saying that I reject typical notions of how gender should work. It's been difficult in my family, since my mom can't understand why I dislike the word bisexual, but it's really important to me to describe myself that way.

"...I feel that my sexuality is fluid. Its something that could change and probably will change as it already has."

Oh shit! Don't let the Conservative Christian Homo-by-choice bigots hear you say that! They'll cart your queer ass off to conversion camp!

Kidding, of course... >.>

It's actually very refreshing to see other people say that they choose to be with one sex or another and that sexuality is fluid and not always something you're born with.

I read a book about this very same issue recently; I think it was called "Queer by Choice" and it discussed the lives and personal journeys though sexuality of dozens of GLBTQ people. Strangely, it was mostly the women in the book that were more comfortable saying that they chose to be gay/bi or with whoever. The men were less prone to saying it was absolutely %100 biological.

I think that for too long we have let our opponents frame this whole debate as choice=illegitimate/biological=legitimate when it comes to issues of sexuality. I understand how it's easier to say, "Well, I was born this way and so were all other homosexuals and that means there's nothing you can do about it, so stop trying!" But that sort of argument totally invalidates the lives and experiences of those who do chose to be with someone of their same sex, or those who see sexuality as something ever-changing and a healthy, enjoyable exploration.

I saw queer as something that could be applied to both gender and sexual orientation. But I have a question: does it have to be applied to both? Like, could you be queer as in "I don't identify as any given gender" and still be attracted to only men, only women, etc? Or do you have to be queer/pansexual if you identify as genderqueer? (And by "have to" I mean do the two go hand-in-hand?) Is queer an all-encompassing term for gender identity AND sexual orientation or can it refer to only one or the other?

i identify as queer because i oppose the belief of monosexuality (being solely attracted to one sex/gender or another). i don't identify as bisexual because i feel it isn't inclusive of varying gender identities. to me being queer simply means not identifying with the perceived societal norm of monogamous heterosexual relationships. along the lines of:

"you're queer, what exactly does that mean?
"not heterosexual, and that's ALL you need to know thank you very much"

I identify as queer often, too. I have issues with almost all other identities- "bisexual" has a lot of baggage, not to mention that it leaves out the gender-variant folks that I'm attracted to. "Pansexual" is good but isn't widely understood (so I have to explain it all the time), plus I dislike the connotations it has of "gender-blindness" or love of personalities before gender, something I don't feel. But "queer" just works- it has few limits like the other labels and it's like this great aesthetic. I don't know how not-queer people react or what they think when they hear it, but if you use it with other queer people, they just "get it". It doesn't require anything more.