oh the old..... 'how can you be a feminist if you....?' (insert any number of things one could do, such as wearing a skirt, make up... have esx with men... etc).

this obviously stems from the rigid definition people hold of what a feminist is, and has a lot to do with their own personal issues. their definition of feminism really doesn't have to be your problem, but they forget that. i've never been confronted for wearing a skirt, per se, but i have been asked about clothing in general (especially when it's very 'fashionable' or revealing) for example "how can you wear a dress like that and call yourself a feminist?". my answer is usually along these lines: "i guess your definition of a feminist includes telling women how to act?".

i personally always thought being a feminist meant fighting for women to have choices about themselves/their lives. some people, of course, will always criticize women for whatever they choose to do. what can you do? you can just continue to be yourself.

another response could always be: "a mere outfit isn't going to change how awesome i am".

oh and as for skirts in the winter: i wear two pair of tights and pull my leg warmers all the way up to my thighs. works like a charm.

I'm totally with you on this. I can't stand it when feminists berate other feminists (or any women) for wearing something or doing something that is "girly".

And as for skirts specifically - I've never understood why some feminists reject them in the first place. Are they considered overly sexy? A tight pair of jeans is alot sexier then a skirt. Or is it just because it is mostly only women who wear skirts? If so that's not a reason to reject them. If anything that's all the more reason NOT to berate women for wearing them - we are women aren't we???

Besides, instead of always trying to force women to give up stuff like skirts in order to be the same as men, why don't we ever try to get men to be more like women? Why not try to get men to wear skirts instead of making women stop wearing them??? I reject the notion that women always have to be the ones to change - how about men change for once.

That's ridiculous. Of course you can wear skirts. I do it all the time. I also like vintage dresses and even occasionally pink. If someone makes a comment just point out that it's anti-feminist to tell women what they can and can't wear. I also agree about pants being confining. I never understand it when women say they're more comfortable.

How stupid, rude and ridiculous of that woman, and anyone else who says anything.

I'm a hardcore feminist and I love fashion - I wear dresses, skirts, pants, jeans, shorts, t-shirts, tanks, sneakers, heels, flats, sandals - whatever strikes my fancy on that particular day (and fits and works with the weather and all that). I also love jewelry and make-up (my current thing is brightly-colored liquid eyeliner). My hair is pretty short but a stylish cut. Hell, I have to work harder than most people to be fashionable, especially on a budget, because I wear a size 16/18, which is not available in all stores and often the first size to go in stores that DO carry it.

It doesn't make me less of a feminist. Sometimes I think it's a feminist action in and of itself because it's a fuck-you to the whole "smart OR pretty" thing. I can be both, so suck it. haha

I love that you juxtapose the two things. I do that sometimes too, except I'm more likely to wear a skirt with the t-shirt from some punk band. That's fun. A frilly skirt and heels with a Rancid shirt? Awesome.

It's bull. I think this is one of those things where some feminists have turned on anything understood as feminine, and uphold anything understood as masculine, which obviously comes with a whole lot of other problems.

Have you seen those shirts that say "THIS is what a feminist looks like"? They're great, especially when worn by men, and women of all shapes / sizes / races / fashion choices.

My theory is that non-feminists feel threatened by feminists who don't look like their image of what a feminist should be, because if feminists can wear whatever we want, well... they could be anyone! You could be talking to a feminist right now and not even know it! If we can't pick out feminists by looking for a certain haircut, a certain type of clothing, etc, then we might just have to watch ourselves and assume that anybody could be a feminist! How terrifying!

And some feminists are also threatened by feminist women who choose to act in more stereotypically "feminine" ways (wearing skirts, using makeup, speaking quietly, pursuing typically "feminine" hobbies like sewing, etc), because they are concerned that you are doing these things because you were socialized to or because you are afraid not to, not because you actually want to. But as my mom has said to me a number of times, "my generation of feminists didn't fight so that your generation would have to live within strict rules like your grandmother's generation did. We fought so that you could choose what makes you happy and what you think is right."

So rock the skirt! I sure do!

Please never stop wearing feminist t-shirts with skirts! We need to let people see that feminism isn't about adhering to some rigid doctrine about what we can and cannot do - it's about being free to make our own choices. I love skirts and dresses (I'm wearing one right now!) because they're fun, and like you I find it hard to find pants that are comfortable. It's sad that some second wave feminists think that feminism can just be reduced to something as small as the fashion choices we make - they're missing the point, and it's important to keep being yourself and showing people that yes, everyone can be a feminist no matter what they look like or what they wear.

I, personally, don't like wearing skirts and rarely do so. I've never gotten used to having to watch how I move to avoid showing my undies, few have pockets I can clip my work ID to, I find pants perfectly comfy so long a they're not too tight, and from a purely vain perspective they're usually not flattering to my body type.

But, know what? That's me. How skirts don't work for ME, for MY life. It'd be ridiculous of me to expect every other woman on the planet to have the same experience, and equally ridiculous to assume a single item of clothing always means the same thing about the person wearing it.

Finding bottoms for me is hard, because I have wider hips and skinny legs. Skirts have basically saved me from getting frustrated by jeans. I hardly ever wear them anymore, since skirts look so much better on me. And they always fit, which is wonderful. I'd rather wear a skirt that I look nice and feel comfortable in than spend the rest of my life looking for a pair of jeans that do the same thing, without ever finding them.

I adore skirts; they are the most comfortable garment for me. I even bike in skirts (I have mastered the art of not flashing anyone!) I do not think their is anything un-feminist about skirts. Clothing is clothing; it is meant to cover our bodies. People need to stop politicizing every little choice women make and keep their nose out of other people's business.

Joan

Keep on wearing whatever you want!

I am a girly-girl, if you will. AND a feminist. I love skirts and dresses, shopping, manicures and pedicures, brazilian waxes, wearing a thong and doing my hair. That is me and I make NO apologies whatsoever. But as a feminist, I realize that each woman is completely different. To me, at least, the very point of feminism is to have that choice; not to limit it. I could care less what any of us wear because to me it's our ideals and beliefs that matter most. By limiting and criticizing our wardrobes, we actually promote the exact opposite of what feminism should be (by my definition anyway).

So screw the lady at grocery store. I hope you gave her a piece of your mind.

The answer to your question is very simple:
People can be ignorant and narrow minded.

You have the choice to blow off silly responses to your appearance or to educate in a myriad of ways.

One way to respond to the question of your skirts and dresses is to suggest that men also wear these very comfortable and freeing articles of clothing as well. Tell the ignorant person who is seeing feminism thru a limited lens that you are making a statement in the hopes of liberating men from wearing such ugly and uncomfortable clothes. As him / her to join you in your mission to get more people to wear dresses and skirts.

Do not be bothered by another's perception, be your own woman.

good luck

I wear what I like and what I am comfortable in above all else. In my mind, that is all I should have to think about when deciding my wardrobe choices.

That's great if you live on a desert island and interact only with wolves. Our choices, even the most insignificant sartorial choices, influence other people's choices. For many women, femininity is compulsory. Every time a woman wears a skirt, she signals that she agrees that women should wear skirts. Whether you mean to signal this or not, it's a signal that gets read by many, many people, affirming their belief that female=skirt. Likewise for many of the feminine things women do - wear lipstick, high heels, do porn... Your choices affect whether other women even have choices. Every time a woman wears a skirt, she makes it that much harder for other women to choose pants.

On the other hand, feminisim is about having more choices, not fewer. Eschewing all things feminine sends the message that there is something wrong with femininity, and that message is a very subtle form of misogyny.

So are damned if you do, damned if you don't? Well, yes. Such it is to be a woman in a patriarchy. That doesn't mean you should say "fuck it, I'll do what I want." For one thing, everyone should examine why they want what they want. Some women want to feel feminine and sexy - why does wearing a skirt do that for them? Also examine what messages you might be sending and whether you want to send them in a particular environment. Examine what the consequences are of not sending that message - see how Hillary gets beat up for wearing pants suits? I mean, geez.

I recommend doing all this thinking in the shower or here in the forum. When you're getting dressed in the morning, just do a sniff test and get out the door. Who has time for all that cogitation before breakfast, anyway.

I also prefer dresses and skirts. And I don't forget how to fight, or build a set, or any of the other things I know how to do when I'm wearing them.

It's ridiculous to assume that women are suppose to look a certain way in order to be a feminist. Last time I checked, one of the things about feminism is for a woman to choose like her clothing style, the way she wants to like, her sexuality, her opinions, her education, many things really.

I know how you feel. Being in high school you already have a lot of expectations but being a feminist in high school, you have more people judging you by what you wear, I've always liked tight jeans, high heels, mini dresses, pencil skirts, mini skirts, cute tops, fashionable coats and jackets, cropped tops, and sometimes baggy jeans with my cropped tops. A lot of people have given me crap for it in the past because a feminist isn't supposed to show off her body or dress like a girl. I feel like as long as I'm confident and comfortable with what I'm wearing it should be okay. But obviously my classmates don't see it that way.

On the second day of my Junior year last year, I found out that there was a Women's Studies discussion during the first week of school and I was interested in joining the class so I checked it out to see what I was getting into. The first thing I noticed when I walked in was a bunch of girls starring down at me because of the mini dress and heels I was wearing. The topic was about cat calling and I said that I didn't feel comfortable when men cat call women and that not only does it seem disrespectful and playing down the other gender, it also was a way of men thinking that if you look good or you're dressed in a sexual way, you're doing it for their approval. Some girl in the class called me out and said, "you seem like the type that doesn't mind getting male attention." All I thought was, this girl sort of proved my point.

I wouldn't have joined the class if the teacher didn't support me to join the class. Overall I think that you shouldn't be judged for your choice of clothing.

Like you, I am very curvy and hate pants (except yoga pants). I find them very confining and jeans that fit me properly are way too expensive. I wear skirts at all times (Even in winter- I layer 2 pairs of tights and wear boots). I'm fairly high-profile in the feminist community in my area and surprisingly, I haven't gotten many comments about it.
I think part of this is due to the area I'm in- most of the feminist community I'm in are heterosexual cis women who present in rather feminine ways. Maybe it's because most of these people know me and my actions speak louder than my skirt? I don't know.
I think about it a lot, though. I'm fairly radical, but I wear dresses, have long hair and wear makeup. I do wonder if it's better to consciously reject those gendered "feminine" things even though I like them, or if it's more feminist to do whatever the hell I want. But then I think about whether I inherently like pink and babies or if I'm just socialized to... of course there's no way to know.
I struggle with this topic every day, even though no one ever heckles me about it. Sigh... if you come up with an answer, let me know?

The only times I feel strange about wearing a skirt is when I'm going somewhere that it will be an expected clothing "choice" (wedding, fancy party, church).

Since I rarely attend these kinds of events, I don't have to worry about it often. However when I do, it is a big annoyance for me. Most times I opt for pants, but you can bet if I feel like wearing a skirt to the grocery store or out with friends, I sure will with no second thoughts.

I feel it's fine to wear whatever you want, so long as what you decide to wear didn't come from others' expectations. So this would apply to both feminists who find skirts inappropriate, and others who expect stereotypical female clothing to be worn.