Crossposted on www.the-F-word.org
We frequently get door-to-door salespeople shilling everything from home security systems to cable TV to Jesus. I was working in my home office last week when came a sharp rat-a-tat-tat at the door. I covertly peeked out the Roman shade to see standing at the door a spry man in his 50s with a shiny bald head anchored by greying fringe. There was an incident not too long ago a few streets over in which someone claiming to be fundraising door-to-door hit an elderly man upside the head with a crowbar and proceeded to rob him. I am not the kind of person who regularly engages in fits of histrionic paranoia, but considering that I work from home and am a magnet for social aberrations, I generally don't answer the door to people I don't know when alone. I was unfortunately spotted, however and reluctantly opened the door to a door-to-door vacuum salesmen for Kirby, who kindly complimented the biosphere that is my front yard and explained that he was just signing people up for a $1,000 drawing. The eight months of sheer boredom and anguish I spent as a desperate 16-year-old trying to sell windows on commission to raise money for driver's ed flitted across my mind and so I obliged him. I seriously did not intend to mindfuck him with my feminist wiles, but, well, read on...
Salesman : Okay, what's your last name?
Me : Richardson
Salesman : First name?
Me : Rachel
The neighbor's very friendly cat who lives on our front porch interrupts by pawing on the man's pants. I tell him that it's not our cat, but rather our neighbors, and because they have two Great Danes with heads the size of basketballs, he claimed our porch long before my husband even bought the house.
Salesman : You're married? What's your husband's name?
Me : Brandon [Pause] And his last name is Clooney (a pseudonym, of course)
Salesman : [Looks up confused ] Clooney, did you say?
Me : Yep, Clooney -- C L O O N E Y
Salesman : [smiling ] Oh, okay. Your fiance or whatever. Hey, I asked one guy if he was married and he told me that his husband's name was... There's every kind of lifestyle these days.
Me : Nope, he's my husband. We're legal.
Salesman : [smile wavering ] You're MARRIED? And his last name is Clooney?
Me : Clooney. That's right.
Salesman : But YOUR last name is Richardson?
Me : You got it.
The by now thoroughout nonplussed salesman goes on to try and weakly pitch Kirby's line of ridiculously expensive vacuum cleaners and carpet cleaning services. I inform him that we have wood floors throughout most of the house. He inquires about the carpeted stairs he sees over my shoulder that leads to a carpeted second-floor.
Me : No thanks. We're going to replace it in the near future, so it'd be a waste of money cleaning it.
Salesman : Well, at least it'd be clean first before you replaced it. And our services are really quite affordable. I could schedule you a free demonstration...
Me : Nah, that won't be necessary. We don't even go upstairs and we have a lot of other projects that need done first.
Salesman : [Interrupting me ] Well, maybe I can come back when your husband gets home...
Me : [gritting teeth ] I don't think that will be necessary.
0 TrackBacks
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry: A conversation with a door-to-door vacuum salesman.
TrackBack URL for this entry: http://www.feministing.com/cgi-bin/movabletype/mt-tb.fcgi/15427
sounds like the guy needs to vacuum his brain out before he makes another sales pitch to a woman.
Arthur Miller's,"Death of a Salesman" had more insight than this guy.
Oh, something similar happened to my grandmother... 50 years ago!
Her uber-friendly golden retriever, who they always joked would hold the flashlight for a burglar if asked, growled the guy out.
I don't think that will be necessary
"yah, cause if you can't sell to me
naw' you can't have my baby's money..."
"Vacuum Salesman Blues"
In related news, there's such a thing as a door-to-door salesman in the year 2009.
There's every kind of lifestyle these days.
OMG. Marriage equality and personal autonomy, crazy times!!!
Hahaha...I had a person for the Foster Parents Plan come to my door before who, when filling out my form, asked me if I was a "Mrs, Miss or Ms," and when I answered the latter, he said "OOOh, mysterious!" I still don't know if it was supposed to be a folksy joke or a pick-up attempt, but I resent that it gave him the opportunity to try and pick me up.
For the record, I did sign up--but for the kids, not because of his expertly humanitarian salesmanship.
Are you sure he wasn't trying to pun you? He could have said "ooh, MS-terious"...
The reaction to the name difference is pretty silly, as well as the "lifestyle" comment. You'd think he wouldn't be that thrown by it, jeez. However, it may be hard to interpret where he's coming from with the "Should I come back when your husband gets home?" remark.
My sister lives in MD where she gets tons of door to door people. She ALWAYS asks them to come back when her husband gets home, not because he makes all the household decisions or anything like that, but because she feels vulnerable letting strange men in her house with just herself and her 2 year old. It's possible that this salesman had experienced many people reacting as she does and asks out of courtesy. Or..he could be a sexist prick. Not knowing the meaning behind his question, though, it would be hard to tell.
It could also be that she considers a vaccuum a large enough purchase that she wouldn't buy one without running it past her husband first. However, if she's already indicated that she has no need for one, then the 'come back later' bit becomes more patronizing.
And 'at least it'd be clean first'? Who cleans the floors before tearing them up?
Yes, but "overly persistent salesman" is a different conversation from "overly sexist salesman." Generally, door to door salespeople are like telemarketers. They'll try every possible tactic before they give up or the door is closed in their face.
You know, I'm not even married but sometimes I tell salespeople at my door that I need to clear a purchase with someone else just to get them to back off.
My husband is in the Army, I did not change my last name when we got married, and it sounds an awful lot like the conversations I have every time I talk with someone in the military or works for the military.
What a pain in the ass. I was hoping you'd give him a very long and drawn out explanation of why you didn't take his last name. That'd be a the real mindfuck.
Or even to pointedly ask "do I really need to explain it for you?" or straight out "have you never encountered a married woman whose kept her own surname?" just to highlight his ridiculous reaction.
Of course he at some stage has encountered a married woman with her own name! I think the people who act dumb about it are just trying to make their point ("ur not a real laydee"); bringing them down a peg by being straight about it is a lot more effective than just ignoring them (as stupid as it is to have to explain yourself)
I usually do say something like "Oh, I'm one of feminists" or "Yeah, I'm pretty fond of my name" to brush off the awkwardness in these situations and I was nearly about to do the same thing when it dawned on me that I don't owe anyone any excuses for my decision to keep my name. It's not like this is a new phenomenon or anything... women have been going by their maiden name or a hyphenated surname for centuries now. And actually, it was kind of amusing to watch what must be a novel feminist concept for him to click in his mind :)
First, that salesman is a jerk!
Now, and off-topic:
"...The neighbor's very friendly cat who lives on our front porch interrupts by pawing on the man's pants. I tell him that it's not our cat, but rather our neighbors, and because they have two Great Danes with heads the size of basketballs, he claimed our porch long before my husband even bought the house..."
Earlier today I saw some news about another cat saving his neighbor's life:
"Cat saves man from burning home," 18:44
GMT, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 19:44 UK:
"...Engineer Andrew Williams was asleep when the fire broke out at his bungalow in Bracknell in Berkshire.
"As black smoke filled the property, his neighbour's cat Hugo came through a cat-flap and raised the alarm by clawing at the father-of-two's face.
"Rescuers said that the fire could have killed Mr Williams if he had not been awoken by Hugo. A smoke detector had been moved during work on the bungalow...
"...Hugo is a regular visitor to Mr Williams' home..."
I don't want to be all "GET A CAT FLAP NOW!!!" but I thought you might find this interesting. :)
I was going to ask my cat if she would save me in such a case, but she's asleep next to her catnip mouse right now. Lively one, she is. :-p
I'm a door-to-door fundraiser and you wouldn't believe how many times I get "well I can't give any money without clearing it with my husband first". And the whole excuse of being afraid of a strange male doesn't work because I am female. It's so frustrating. I just want to say, well you're clearly an adult so I'm sure you could give to a charity you find worthwhile without clearing it with anyone. This guy is certainly clinging to the "good" old days. But if a nice not-for-profit canvasser comes to your door, be kind an help them out with 30 bucks! :)
I don't know. My partner and I always run out-of-the-ordinary purchases past each other, especially if they are over five to ten dollars or so. It is just part of respecting each other when we have shared resources, plus it keeps us from spending over our budget. :)
I say that when I'm just trying to get rid of people...
Yeah, but this wasn't a purchase, technically. It was for a free carpet cleaning demonstration (where they then pressure you to buy a $2,000 vacuum cleaner). The fact that I had already told him "No thanks" should have sufficed.
Apparently, nobody ever taught this guy rule # 1 of sales:
The Customer Is Always Right
In this case, if the customer and her husband have different last names DO NOT question her lifestyle - just make sure you spell both their names correctly!
He let his antiquated social views get in the way of closing a sale - always a bad thing to do if you are a commission salesperson!
The army is horrible about women keeping their names. I know a couple who were accused of adultery (which is illegal under the uniform code of millitary justice,) because people could tell they were in a relationship and assumed because their names were different that they were married to other people.
Honestly it's not very uncommon to keep your name after marriage. I really am surprised more women don't keep their names after marriage, especially if you're more established in a career. Most people aren't getting married right out of high school anymore.
When telemarketers call for my S.O. and I answer the phone, they assume I'm "Mr. Jennings." Annoying, but it's my out: "No, there's no Mr. Jennings here."
Haha, yeah when they ask for Mrs. Clooney, I know it's a telemarketing call. I always tell them that "Mrs. Clooney does not live at this address," which is true since my mother-in-law lives several towns over.
When I was married, people automatically assumed that I had also taken my husband's name. They asked if I was Mrs X, I pointed out that my husband's mother didn't live with us and perhaps they'd like to deal with me instead. It really used to mess with people's heads. I also made a complaint to the tax authorities, because I wrote specifically to state that we were getting married, but that I was keeping my name. They wrote back to me with my husband's name, and worse, his initial as well. I was furious.
It's a partnership, not a takeover bid!
The thing is, I know lots of people who use different last names, so you wouldn't think it would really scramble anyone's sensors anymore. They might comment on it, but it's so common you'd think they'd get it.
My wife did not take my name when we got married in 1989. Before our son was born in 1990, someone we knew who had been in a similar situation told us that the hospital would automatically list him on his birth certificate with his mother's last name (and her as an unmarried mother) unless we could prove that we were married. After that, there would have to be much administrative or legal wrangling to get the child's name and bastardy status corrected. So, we actually brought our marriage certificate with us to the hospital, and when they were preparing the incorrect birth certificate, I stuck my head in, whipped out our marriage documents, and insisted that they list our child with the hyphenated name that we had agreed on. I think I did this in 1994 with our daughter, too.
Kind of OT: I HATE door-to-door salesmen. They tend to rip you off. I have no issue with just slamming the door in their face. That might sound harsh but my door is not a place of business and after being ripped off by one, I'm never going to bother talking to one again.