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First day as a clinic escort

This job might end up being fucking amazing.

I honestly had no idea what to expect.  I do know that I didn't expect to only see about three protesters present when I rolled up at 10 am.  Granted, it's not like I'm looking for a big raucous crowd where I might end up having to fight somebody, because that's bad juju all around.  But I was prepared for more than I saw.  Even the lady in charge said it's pretty boring most of the time, although things can flip quickly.

Over the course of a couple hours, only a half-dozen or so protestors showed up.  Overall, it's not something that would be worth a post, except every single one ended up fitting some basic archetype that, while I had never thought about them previously, seem like they might exist at any clinic protest ever held.

Old Yeller:  Calls out "Choose life!" at everyone going into the clinic from the sidewalk, despite the fact people are cracking up at him. Blissfully oblivious to the fact 97% of the clinic's patients are not involved with an abortion.

Singing Lady:  Walks up and down the sidewalk singing the same six lines ad infinitum.  Can't actually sing.  Amusement value increased by the fact she has to continually read a little card with the words.

The Reverend:  Shows up in a minister's black suit with white collar.  Unknown if he's actually clergy or had to steal it from someone.

Sign Guy:  Possesses very professional-looking banners.  Usefulness to cause mitigated by absurdity of banners (AbortionBreastCancer.com say what?) and absolute crap jury-rig job erecting the signs with PVC pipe and zip ties lodged in the open windows of his car. Struggles with placing and dismantling signs so mightily escorts actually consider finding ways for him to do it faster, except that would mean he'd stay longer instead of leave sooner.

Silent Prayer Guy:  Stands at the sidewalk with a rosary and stares at the clinic door.  Does not speak.  Presumably wears sunglasses so he can look elsewhere without losing whatever "effect" he's having (or being busted for hypocrisy).

The Giver:  Stops people at the driveway and hands them rosaries and pamphlets.  Almost everyone stops and takes something so as not to be rude.  Absolutely unfathomable that this guy actually gets something accomplished.

Tweedledee and Tweedledum:  Not seen, but told of; described simply as the married protesters.  No one remembers which is which.

I've actually had no intention of telling people I'm doing this because I don't want it to look like I'm showing off or whatever, but I couldn't resist calling a friend of mine, explaining where I was, and holding the phone up so he could hear Singing Lady go on.  As we talked, every time she walked by he would say, "Jesus christ, is that the same woman?"

I realize there are places where the regular protests are nastier than the special-occasion ones here, and part of me wishes I was at one of those because they need more support than relatively peaceful places like this.  Much respect to the workers at those places.  But I can only react directly to what I see, and what I saw today was ridiculous beyond anything else.

Any other "types" I should possibly expect to see?

Posted by Spiffy McBang - August 21, 2009, at 06:29PM | in Activism
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8 Comments

[0+] Author Profile Page Hannah said:

That sounds like a really rewarding job (:
if you don't mind my asking, how does one go about becoming a clinic escort? It's something I'd like to look into since I'm on the lookout for a job.

[0+] Author Profile Page Spiffy McBang replied to Hannah :

Well, first things first- it's volunteer work. So if you're looking for a paying job, this ain't it.

If that's ok with you, try Googling Planned Parenthood for your city, maybe with "volunteer" added on. I couldn't find anything at first, but that's what a couple of people did for me when I asked the same question here a little while back. I said where I lived, though, and they used that. I can't find their comments, though... sorry. Hopefully you won't fail at search engine as badly as I did.

[0+] Author Profile Page kahri replied to Hannah :

It can be really rewarding, but also really frustrating. When the crazies are screaming at you you want to say a million things (even if it's just "shut the heck up" 250 thousand times over), but you can't-- or at least, you shouldn't.

I see an escort's job as being patient focused-- get the patients and their friends/partners into the clinic where they can get continue with their appointment. Do whatever possible to keep a calm atmosphere so you can focus on everyone's safety-- and by everyone, I mean the patients, their friends, your fellow escorts, AND the protesters.

Your job is to minimize the impact that the protesters have and that means keeping quiet and staying patient-focused. If you engage with protesters, they feed off the attention...

Do you have the Blocker? She's an archetype I've seen in TV documentaries about clinic protestors: she's the one who stands directly in front of you, constantly reciting Hail Marys. No matter which way you step to get around her, she steps to block your progress, and you just know that the instant you touch her she'll charge you with "assault".

[0+] Author Profile Page Spiffy McBang replied to Cactus Wren :

Didn't see her, but I don't think I will, thankfully. As it was explained to me, the police here handle any situations at the clinic with a very even hand and, as such, are widely respected by both sides. They say don't mess with each other, and as such, there's a basic rule of non-interaction.

Now, if there's a big rally... we'll see. I'll keep an eye out.

[0+] Author Profile Page Siby said:

Thank you for volunteering to be an escort. :)

[0+] Author Profile Page Gopher replied to Siby :

Exactly!

[0+] Author Profile Page kahri said:

The place I escort has the "good white people with white baby in stroller..."

See. They like babies so much they even have one of their own.

Maybe they'll adopt your fetus, too. All you have to do is be pregnant and give birth on their behalf.

(Oh yeah, and don't listen to those escorts, who have never had abortions themselves, because they are either evil nazis who want to kill brown babies or they're foolish girls deceived by the devil and they want to see you burn in hell because they don't understand that every woman longs to be a mother and every woman regrets her abortion when she kneels before the altar of god...)

Makes you yearn for earplugs. I just sing songs under my breath or recite my favorite poems.

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