Well, maybe there are shades of difference because of the "women" versus "ladies" word choice, or maybe that's just a question of politeness. But for what it's worth, I am the only female in my graduate program and I refer to my classmates collectively as "the guys." Not to emphasize that they are male and I am The Female, but simply because it comes out more naturally. I'm not denigrating their intellectual capabilities or trying to separate myself...in fact, it's more like trying to erase the gender-caused gap with a term more colloquial than "my classmates" or "the other people in my program."

So I'm inclined to say the use of 'ladies' is not sexist, although in my case there is no question of 'women' versus 'ladies' or of perpetuating the way Othering women erases our individual accomplishments.

I don't know, maybe if you gave some more examples of what he says. As posted it sounds harmless and fine to me.

What exactly would you prefer he said, especially when referring to a group of people?

No.

More context is needed. Is your husband only referring to his coworkers as ladies when he is criticizing them, or is this his general mode of address? There is a world of difference between "the ladies at work think that the company should review our current health plan," and "the ladies at work can't ever seem to do their damn job right the first time."

Also, is your particular concern with the word "ladies" or with the fact that your husband is lumping a group of women together? I've never viewed "ladies" as a problematic descriptor, and find that it has its uses. (Especially when directly addressing a group - as in "ladies and gentleman, please direct your attention to the front.)

I have been known to quibble over "ladies" as an effective way to address women, because too often I have seen/heard it used in a not-so-vaguely facetious manner when a classy gentleman is trying to pick up women by impressing them with faux-chivarly.

That said, I think your husband's use of the term is appropriate. It doesn't appear that he's mocking or being denigrating in any way, and the context seems similar to (as other posters have mentioned) when a group of male peers is referred to as "the guys."

I think "ladies" is a word used by men who have figured out that they can't say "girls" but don't get why not.

Of course, not everyone is like that, but I've encountered it enough times that the word "ladies" sets me off.

How many times have you talked to him about it? I'm seeing a problem if you have told him numerous times that you dislike that language and he continues to use it. "Ladies" might not be sexist, but disregarding your feelings about it is.