Talking to kids about feminism
I'm not around kids a lot, and don't know too much about this, but i think something that should be a bigger part of the feminist discourse is how to empower young girls to resist sexism, and how to do it using the most simple terminology possible.
Can people give examples of a time when they pointed out sexism to a kid, and it got through to them?
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This is an issue that hits close to home-- I have a six year old niece. I've found that, at least with her, feigning confusion is very effective. She once made a comment about how boys couldn't kiss other boys. I asked why not, and she gave me the "It's just not allowed" speech. I said, "You know, to me, that sounds pretty silly," and hoped it sunk in. I did something similar when she said that girls couldn't have a particular job (don't remember what it was). I guess I'll see how effective this is as the years go on...
With kids, most of the time all you can do is plant the seed and model nontraditional gender roles. You can point out the small things girls are 'required to do' in our culture to fit conventional beauty standards. For instance, while working at a camp, I started a conversation about how girls felt they had to apply make-up and do their hair after swim time and the boy did not feel they needed to do this. That started a debate. I'm not sure if they understood completely what I was going for, but I think I planted a thought in their mind about how culture 'requires' different things of men and women, boys and girls. I also modeled being the 'lead' counselor and the tough one, though my partner was male and at first the kids expected him to be in charge of discipline.
Joan
Its good that you are thinking about this because even if you do not have interactions with kids a lot you will occasionally and I find that there is always some reason to talk to them about sexism. I'm eighteen but my brother and sister are significantly younger than I am and I was home schooled for the majority of their lives and my mom worked so I was the main care taker while they were little. One of the main things that I can remember really sticking is telling her to always make sure that if she reached the door first to open it and hold it open for anyone behind her. This is a suttle way for her to be taught to debunk the men have to hold the door open for women thing and she doesn't even need to give a feminist answer, something that I seem to find makes men more likely to insist on doing whatever it is that they are doing and refusing to let anyone else do it.
First of all, great topic. I think talking to children is hugely important to feminism, since gender roles are picked up as they go along. It is far easier to prevent bad habits from starting than it is to change ourselves from our gender roles as we become adults.
I haven't had a lot of experience talking to young girls about sexism and I'm really interested to hear people's angles and success stories. But I have noticed that young boys really benefit from adults that they look up to setting a positive example in regard to gender freedom. Just sending the message that there isn't a "boy way" and a "girl way" to do everything goes a long way towards combatting the sexist messaging imprinted in our culture.
Because of the assumption that sexism only applies to girls, boys generally don't get taught to resist sexism, which means they learn, instead to perpetuate it. (This isn't to say that girls do get taught about sexism enough, but the sexism lesson or "girl power" meme is generally reserved for them when taught at all). Teaching boys to fight sexism, even to assert themselves in the face of male gender roles can turn a future feminist obstacle (a possible homophobe, rapist, or general kneejerk defender of the patriarchy) into an advocate.
This is especially true since most of the gendered strife that males face occurs when they are younger, and the pressure to do the boy thing is constant. Teaching them to resist this pressure goes hand-in-hand with teaching them respect for womens' struggle.
Show them this great educational video about feminism :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWF3GhS_WQA&feature=related
I am SO grateful that my niece and nephew have a gay aunt (their father's sister) to counter my sister & brother-in-law's very traditional ways. She is a police officer (their aunt) and just an awesomely strong woman in so many ways. My niece is 10 and my nephew is five. I think so much about how I should be there for both of them NOW (I live 3 hours away) to try to instill feminist values in them and it really torments me that my job keeps me away. I know they need my sort of influence constantly in order to grow into the loving and thoughtful, non-egocentric people they can be but in my absence I have all the confidence in the world in my dear sister-in-law and her partner's behavior will show them more than words ever could. Still, I would LOVE some tips on books that could help...
Thanks in advance!
I think one of the major keys to getting kids, especially young kids under age 10, to understand a concept like feminism, you need to use things that they can relate to and are right in front of them.
For instance, my girlfriend's little cousin just turned 6. He has the most liberal, pro-feminist parents in the world, but for some reason he's got this problem with "girls do this and boys do that" and, most troubling of all, "boys are better and can do more things than girls." Recently, we were out on a little outing to the park and since he's crazy about skateboarding at the moment, I pointed out to him that nearby there was a girl skateboarding and doing some pretty advanced tricks. He looked at her and said, "So girls can be good skateboarders too?"
And just yesterday I went to the beach with my little step siblings, aged 7 and 8, and the 8 year old boy was surprised that I was wearing boys' swim trunks instead of bikini bottoms. He turned to me with this look of utter confusion and said "Why are you wearing a boys' swimsuit?!" and I said "Well, I'm covered up on top, but I like wearing swim trunks because they're comfortable." And he said "Yeah, but girls don't usually wear those." I said, "I do. Girls can wear whatever they want." His reply was "I guess so," which doesn't sound like he was all that convinced, but usually he argues and argues so it was definitely a step forward.
Anyway, long story short, it takes baby steps. A big talk on what feminism is could potentially be very confusing to a young kid, but little reminders here and there that girls can do what boys do and vise versa will eventually accumulate enough that you can start to actually discuss with them what it means to be a girl or a boy, and that girls and boys can do anything they want regardless of gender, etc. And depending on how old they are and their personal level of maturity, you can even discuss current feminist issues, to a certain extent. i.e., you could mention, "Did you know that sometimes women get paid less money than men even though they do the same job? That's pretty unfair, huh?" That puts it in pretty simple terms and allows them to give input and engage in discussion, which is probably more interesting for them than just listening to somebody else talk.