*One Voice of Many. Because I speak in a tone of privilege. I speak believing my thoughts are important. I want to acknowledge that my voice is only one of many voices and I do not understand why I was born in a place and time where I can be heard. I don't take the responsibility lightly. I hope that my voice will give strength to the voice neglected in each of us- because I believe peace will come when humanity learns what it means to truly hear all parts of ourselves.*

We need space where the feminine voice exists alone. We are socialized into a world of masculinity and if given the option, we'll retreat back into its walls. The feminine voice does not know itself well enough to constantly defend itself. She needs a break to just be.

Voice. It's such a powerful thing.

I was raised to speak openly and vulnerably. And vulnerability can be a strength but in this dominating political world, using apolitical words is a political statement. And so too, vulnerability is a weakness in a world of power.

I feel like I was never given the guard of the masculine voice over my personal, intimate thoughts. I hate how open and vulnerable I feel I consistently am. I wasn't given a choice-- I was RAISED by a father with trust issues to be honest, open and vulnerable. And yet, these are things he never has been.

It's time I claimed my voice back for myself.

I don't think he ever actually put a finger on me sexually. Only recently do I see- do I understand- how intimate thoughts are connected to intimate acts. He violated me by violating my mind. By manipulating the direction of my thoughts and feelings. 

Any human being given too much power will abuse it.

I am learning to claim my sexuality as my own.

This forced openness has made me the communicator I am. Able to relate to people in a human way, honestly and openly. I value this level of sharing- because it leads to so much growth and genuine love. It enables me to extend genuine love to humanity through my words, like a caring mother.

I believe within each person, regardless of how they identify, is a neglected feminine voice. She has had to defend herself to the well-known masculine voice over and over. Sometimes, the body she finds herself in or the time and place- makes it impossible for her to truly know herself.

Create and insist on this purely feminine-loving space. Otherwise, she can never be strong enough to defend herself to the masculine voice.

The masculine has a history and can reference it's archives of self. What about herstory? How did history affect herstory? Where is she now? Be careful not to retreat to the comfort of history's self in search of herstory. Start growing your own tree, without worrying about defending it against the next strong breeze.

She needs the space to just be. To define herself in her own words, to be all she is in her contradictions and complexity, to be heard, to be appreciated-- Not just by others but by herself.

Fear restrains her voice. The risk of walking around naked in a world of clothed voices, makes her search for self difficult. She must learn to be stubborn about finding this space, where she feels comfortable.

She must remember that the point is not to find the approval or advice of others- but to find herself and speak to be heard... she's been waiting long enough for that.

Free her.

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August 5, 2009 6:23 PM

[0+]  Mina said:

"...What about herstory? How did history affect herstory?..."

Now I'm wondering if any stuff written by women and/or girls in Latin has survived. Let me check...aha, there's a whole bunch of references in http://books.google.com/books?id=rjzBMLaT_lcC ! It's Women Writing Latin: Women writing in Latin in Roman antiquity, late antiquity, and early modern Christian era by Laurie J. Churchill, Phyllis Rugg Brown, and Jane E. Jeffrey. :)

Why Latin? The term "herstory" reminds me of Latin because English gets both "history" and "story" from a Latin word for "story," "historia," that actually gets labelled as feminine. Latin has noun declensions and 3 noun classes labelled masculine, feminine, and neutral (like the way German has 3 noun classes labelled masculine, feminine, and neutral, Spanish has 2 noun classes labelled masculine and feminine, and Swahili has 8 or 9 noun classes none of which are labelled masculine or feminine), so in Latin dictionaries it's usually listed as "historia, historiae, f." Meanwhile, Latin doesn't have separate words for "his" and "her."

So, thanks for the reminder! :)

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