I would like to state, for the record, that I know what people are talking about when they say feminists are no fun. Personally, I think I’m a hoot. But I do have moments when I think “Man! This would be a lot more fun if I didn’t believe the things I believe, know the things I know, and generally look at life from a feminist perspective.” Over and over again I look at what is around me and am probably overly offended. Aaaand what I am about to write about is no exception.
The other day I took a quiz on Facebook called “What body part are you?” and was proud and not altogether shocked to have been told I was a vagina. Ah, yes. A vagina. The part of my body that gives me so much pleasure. That has the power to send a human out into the world. That gives me orgasms and puts me in line with the celebrated cycle of the moon when I have my period. Oh, glorious, glorious vagina! What shall this facebook quiz have to say about your wonder?
Meow!
Thats right.You're a pussy.Otherwise known as the vagina,snatch,gash,poon,love socket,fleshy taco. You may not be the prettiest of body parts,especially when you let your beard grow uncontrollably,but you make men feel warm and safe.Most of the time.There are a few days a month when,well,lets face it,you make us see red and you walk around surrounded by a bitch all the time.
Now, if you view the world the way I do you are already going “grumble grumble heteronormative grumble offensive grumble body image grumble grumble.” But for those readers who may not be frequenters of feministing.com, (and for my own soap box craving nature) let me break it down. Let’s start at the very beginning:
Meow!
Thats right.You're a pussy.Otherwise known as the vagina,snatch,gash,poon,love socket,fleshy taco.
Well, while I might not want to hear my lover sexily whisper anything about a “gash,” “love socket,” or “fleshy taco,” the author is write that pussies are sometimes “known as” these things. So I suppose it isn’t altogether offensive. So far okay. Now:
You may not be the prettiest of body parts,especially when you let your beard grow uncontrollably,but you make men feel warm and safe.
GRUMBLE GRUMBLE...sorry. You hear that? Vaginas aren’t pretty. Hmmm...wonder why labiaplasty is becoming so popular. Wonder why almost 80% of women in this country think there is something wrong with the way their vagina looks. Maybe its because of stuff like this. The idea that the vagina doesn’t look EXACTLY HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO LOOK! Oh, but THANK GOD we can make our pussies less repulsive by getting rid of all the hair, so we can look like children and/or porn stars. Not saying that it isn’t okay to shave down there, but it is just another way women are asked to change their naturally grotesque selves to conform to imposed standards of “beauty.” Wait...wait! Its all okay though. Because we make men feel warm and safe with our vaginas. Never women, because we’re all straight. And if we are gay its only when we’re super hot and doing it in front of men, of course. But again, at least we make men feel good in spite of the hideous beast lurking between our legs. Whew...I feel better now. Let’s read on!
Most of the time.There are a few days a month when,well,lets face it,you make us see red and you walk around surrounded by a bitch all the time.
AWJREFGKAJRFBA In other words, “Vaginas are good when they are pleasing men. When they are going through the natural menstruation process they make men angry. And women have no right to be less than 100% cheerful when they are having painful cramps and being treated like they are disgusting for it instead of getting some sympathy.”
My main issue in this is that it is all written from a man’s perspective. Forget the fact that it is a completely heteronormative mysoginistic man. Even if it wasn’t...there is not one thing about vaginas being pleasing to women. Nothing about female orgasm. Nothing about bearing children. It is solely about vaginas as they relate to men. They are ugly, but acceptable because men can put their dicks in them. In fact, the only reference to women is that they are “bitches” when on their periods.
Now wait...maybe the description of penises in this quiz is just as offensive. Let’s read, shall we?
You're a Dick!
Otherwise known as a penis,schlong,dong,member,phallus,etc. You usually lay around doing nothing but it doesn't take much to get a rise out of you.That is,unless,of course, you have had too much to drink, you're really,really old, or someone has kicked you really hard.When you get over excited you tend to stiffen up and eventually throw up all over the place.Excelente'
Hmmm...nothing about pleasing women. Nothing about men being jerks. Nothing about penises being ugly or men having to groom themselves to be accepted. Just a cute little blurb about what the penis does and does not do, followed by the judgement “Excelente’.” Is it me, or is this totally not the same??
So...let’s try this again.
You’re a pussy!
Otherwise known as a vagina, snatch, twat, cunt, fleshy taco etc. While part of you is naturally introverted, if someone presses the right button you can go crazy and start to sweat. That is, unless, of course, you are really, really old, or have JUSTpushed out a baby and are feeling like you’re tired and stretched a little thin right now. When you get over excited you tend to quiver and eventually wet yourself. Excelente’
Okay...its not perfect. There’s a reason I don’t write Facebook quizzes. But its at least as clever as the “You’re a Dick” one and written in a manner that is comparable in terms of point of view and respect for the bearers of said body parts. I even kept in “fleshy taco” just to prove that I’m still fun.
In conclusion, I’m just tired of seeing judgements of my body and my womanity (can that be a word?) everywhere I go. I can’t do something as benign as taking a facebook quiz without having insults hurled at my body. Seems like such a small thing, and it is. But I’m tired of these small things that make up everything. I guess that’s all for now. Happy rantings, everybody! Love your vagina. Love your penis. Love your bodies.
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When you said at the beginning that you tend to get overly offended I thought your post would be about something relatively inoffensive. But after reading the whole thing I don't think you're overreacting at all. That's just blatant misogyny, no question about it.
*sigh* I can't say it surprises me, I much regret to say. Since Facebook has something like 300 million users, this reflects a huge sampling of human opinion. Food for thought – and speaking of throwing up…
One of the blessings and curses of the internet is that it lets anyone who can type (not necessarily spell) can spill their own opinion and viewpoint to whomever is willing to listen. You're justified in feeling offended, but I have long ago come to the perspective that the internet will always provide excellent instances for me to be outraged.
Ignorance can be bliss, as you said. And it's also, in my opinion, reason for us to take into account that we might do well to learn to pick our battles. If we don't, we end up exhausting ourselves or unintentionally giving our opponents some ammunition. When there are clear-cut, glaring examples of sexism and misogyny that cannot be painted by opponents as overreaction, then we ought to come out in force.
I am thinking someone should make a quiz entitled, "What Dumbass Facebook Quiz Are You?"
The sexism sucks, but then again, it's Facebook - if you think that's horrible, try Youtube.
Well that's just...horrible...
And am I the only one that has never heard of a vagina being referred to as a "love socket?" Maybe I'm just incredibly lucky in that sense, but if some guy used that lovely little euphemism with me I might just have to throw up all over him.
Thanks for the comments! I should clarify. It wasn't that I thought I was overreacting to the sexism. The paragraph was obviously very sexist. What I meant was that I felt quite silly about getting growly over something as inconsequential as a Facebook quiz. Just for the record.
And yes...love socket. Yesterday I whispered to my lover..."I love it when you put your pork sword in my love socket." Best sex we ever had.
Oh my god! Pork sword! I just started busting out laughing at my desk at work. Now everyone is looking at me funny. I learn new things every day it seems on this site :)
That's hideous. Anyone can put any kind of crap on Facebook: http://tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/09/facebook-poll-should-obama-be-killed.php?ref=fpblg