My opinion of my father has been sinking lower and lower as we both get older and my father exposes more of his misogyny. Not that he'd think he was a misogynist.
Last night a news report on Jaycee Lee Dugard described how she had been 'a sex slave' to Phillip Garrido... which I heard my father comment
'Oh yeah baby'
In a raunchy voice.
I've told him multiple times how when he groans or comments on the attractiveness (or unattractiveness) of say a female character on star trek that it bothers me. Now he's making a joke about the kidnapping and torture of a woman being sexy.
And I want to move out all over again.
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My father does the same thing. I wish I had some strategy to tell you, but his mind was made up long ago. My father is the king of condescension if I ever dare criticize him.
Sometimes all one can do is make sure one's life is different. If you have kids someday, I know you'll make sure to raise them not to think in those terms.
To put it another way, use him as an example of ways not to do things, and be prepared to cut him out of your life if it becomes necessary. Sometimes, that's the best you can do.
:(
get a job, save up, do well in school and move out with a plan~ use his resources, ie., free room and board as long as you can stand it. Be as prepared as you can be when you do venture out on your own.
How old are you? That comment sounds beyond the usual tacky comments. I think most men who would say something like that in the first place (maybe while drunk at a bar) would at least censor themselves around their children. The fact that your father is willing to say something like that in front of you sounds like a pretty bad sign... You should be making a serious plan to move out, even if you need to save up for awhile first.
What?! I'm sorry, but that's just fucking sick! I've heard my own stepfather make comments about women before, but Jaycee was KIDNAPPED AND RAPED AS A CHILD! If he finds that sexy, he's got WAY more problems than just not being able to see past his own misogyny.
What does your mother think of this? Did you tell her? How old are you? I've had friends when I was a teenager who had rough (or, like in your case, extremely creepy) family lives and they were able to work it out to where they could live with a friend until they were 18. Hopefully you have friends that would be willing to take you out of that situation. Try talking to some of their parents and see what they say.
Fucking creepy... If it were me, I would have thrown something at his head, father or not.
...This person's mother could have passed on, or not be in their life for all we (I?) know, or just not be involved with their life when it comes to their father.
My mother has pretty much given up on trying to get him to censor himself more then he does. My mother actually grew up with a father who had psychotic breaks possibly triggered by PTS from the war. Compared to the stories she's told me about her father, putting up with the occasional skeevy comment seems like nothing, though my dad has never joked about something like this before.
One of the reasons I haven't moved out is to stay with my mum because we're really close.
One of the most annoying things is that my father shuts down when confronted about the things he says. He won't say anything he'll just look away and I can't tell if he is or isn't listening or if he just doesn't want a confrontation. This is how he seems deal with every disagreement between family members or criticism against him.
My standard response to things like that is "thanks for demonstrating why feminism is still relevant". Usually said in a snarky tone of voice.
Ewww! I had to take a shower after reading that! My deepest sympathies for your situation.