(Originially posted on The New Gay)
On Tuesday, Zack created his Field Guide to DC Fags for all of you out-of-towners coming to DC for the National Equality March. Since we believe in equal opportunity here at The New Gay, I’ve created a field guide to D.C. lesbians for all of you ladies planning on marching (and socializing) this weekend.
Old-School Lesbians–You know the type of lesbians I’m talking about. The ones who are older, still live by some of the butch-femme rules, and can teach you more about lesbian history than you could imagine. You can usually find these women at Phase 1, playing pool and thinking about the good ole days.
Hipster Lesbians–Hipster lesbians in D.C. are pretty much the same as hipster lesbians everywhere. Skinny jeans, plaids and flannels, asymmetrical short haircuts. They’ve got messenger bags and ironic glasses. The main difference is that D.C. hipster lesbians are probably a little more genuine and self-aware than your average Brooklyn hipster. Though there’s definitely that faction that’s always threatening to book it to Brooklyn.
Organic/Vegan Lesbians–These lesbians buy all their food at the local farmer’s market every weekend, protest capitalism, write spoken-word poetry and are vegan. You can usually find them at the Takoma Park farmer’s market. They are also really into grey water, compost and bike riding. If you are a carnivorous person who doesn’t know much about environmentalism, your conversation topics may be limited.
Rugby Lesbians–Rugby lesbians play on one of the D.C. area’s three women’s rugby teams: the Maryland Stingers, the D.C. Furies and the NOVA Piranhas. There are also rugby lesbians from the area colleges–American, Georgetown and George Washington. Rugby lesbians tend to roam in packs, hitting up good beer specials. They also tend to only sleep with their teammates or other ruggers–so your best pick-up line option is probably something related to that time you got stuck in a monster ruck.
Non-Profit Lesbians–These lesbians work for non-profits and are really, really, into their work, which probably revolves around saving whales, the planet or cats. These lesbians are dedicated to most things political, and are generally lucky enough to have partner healthcare. They are good catches.
HRC Lesbians–Older lesbians that have the money to make big donations to HRC. Some of these lesbians will befriend you and your girlfriend at a semi-awkward, semi-empty HRC cocktail hour, promise to text you about that weekend’s WNBA game, and then never text you. These women are heartbreakers.
Power Lesbians– While power lesbians are everywhere, there’s no shortage in D.C. These women have some of the best jobs in the District, whether they are journalists, non-profit leaders, lobbyists, lawyers or working on the Hill. These ladies are fierce and probably will be in some sort of V.I.P. area at all times, even at the march.
The ‘Is She a Lesbian?’ Lesbian–It’s not that you don’t think this lesbian is gay. It’s just that you just don’t know that she’s gay until she casually mentions her girlfriend (or her ex-girlfriend) in conversation. Most of her friends are straight, and she’s not out on the scene that much. She’s probably pretty femme-y and works the usual 9 to 5, probably for a consulting firm.
These are just some of the lesbians I’ve noticed around the D.C. area. Other D.C. lezzies, make sure to chime in. And those of you in town for the march, feel free to post your finding in the comments as well.
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How the fuck did this stereotypical piece of shit get through moderation?
This is so fucking offensive. Glad to see this site is a safe space for lesbians.
Sweet! When I go to march against inequality I can push all the queers into cute little boxes. Imagine how much easier this will be for my pea brain. Now I don't have to do pesky things like evaluate each person as an individual.
My girlfriend is a Non-Profit Lesbian?
I kind of thought this was cute and funny and very tongue-in-cheek. My interpretation is that it's sort of an in-joke, and certainly not meant to actually put anyone in a box.
That's what I thought too. It's also surely what the poster thought. Judging by the first three reactions, we were all wrong.
Maybe only the people that thought it was offensive spoke up...
Maybe if someone said "OMFG I am such a Rugby Lesbian!!!!" it would have gone over better...
So should we call for an official vote or something?
If you want, just ask der editorial staff
considering that it is coming from a lgbt news website, I think its supposed to be satirical
No doubt it was satirical.
Same here. I'm not offended. Maybe if it was by someone who wasnt a homosexual, but that isnt the case. It would also be funny to see one on straight people.
I have to say, far from being offended when I read this I was thinking 'I'm a hipster vegan non-profit lesbian,' where's the box for that?
I think, like a lot of things, this could have been done offensively (a comment about being dressing badly in the old school lesbian paragraph, a male gaze angle in the 'is she...' paragraph, a dismissive tone to the vegan/organic and non-profit paragraphs, etc.) but wasn't.
I can see why saying it was tongue in cheek might be problematic, as that's a reason often used to dismiss criticism of homophobia/transphobia/racism/sexism and on and on, but I think it's valid here.
I think this is our community gently poking fun at itself, not our community being ridiculed, and I don't think the author was trying to put anybody in a box so much as she was describing the boxes some of us have ended up in.
"I think this is our community gently poking fun at itself, not our community being ridiculed . . ."
Exactly what I intended to say, but more precise.
Why is there no mention of femme / "lipstick" lesbians??? Surely they must make-up a big enough group to warrant mention. Or is that what the "Is She a Lesbian" category is supposed to be for? I hope not.
"Old-School Lesbians-You know the type of lesbians I'm talking about. The ones who are older, still live by some of the butch-femme rules..."
That one?
Everyone--I'm the Editor that published this post yesterday.
I also found the humor to be overly stereotypical, but also recognized it was coming from a Queer run site in DC (and a lesbian writer) that often writes things based in stereotypical humor.
I apologize if it offended folks--I realize content for a queer specific site can probably use humor differently than a more mainstream site meant for folks outside the community.
We don't have strict guidelines about what gets posted on the community site--pretty much everything, unless its really blatantly anti-feminist, goes up.
Stricter guidelines may be in order, but again apologies if folks felt offended by this.
I wrote some snark but didn't find the article offensive. The poorly constructed stereotyping comes off lazy instead of witty.
This was neither offensive nor funny - but, at least from my vantage point, it surely was stupid and intellectually lazy.
And just because the piece originates from an LGBT website is not an excuse to use the word "fag."
It sort of reminds of those dumbass chain e-mails about "What liberals believe" bullshit.
This goes to prove that just because you're gay, feminist, liberal or otherwise does not preclude you from being stupid.