A couple of weeks ago I went to a guy friends going away party, and his girlfriend and brother got him a stripper.
I did not know what to expect having never seen a female stripper in action, I wasn't going to watch at first but the 3 other females convinced me to stay and oh my it was a sight.
I'm not judging or criticising women for being strippers and I'm sure there might be feminist strippers out there, and I'm not trying to offend anyone here. But what this stripper did in a suburban backyard in the barbecue area on a rug on the floor in front of young drunk men makes kinda think, have things have gone to far I mean what is next. (Let me just say Lots of lube a lollipop and various adult toys were involved)
It made me sad watching her she had no expression on her face, like she disconnected herself from what she was doing. I suppose it was way of coping with the disgusting behaviour or the young guys watching.
Just to compare things I was at a hens night once and there was a male stripper, he danced around and it wasn't till the end of his routine that he was in all his glory which lasted like 1 minute tops. I'm not saying that male strippers should be making balloon animals with their bits and pieces but compared to what female strippers do there is a huge difference.
I know strippers have been around for a long time now but Is what I witnessed the "NORM" now? The party was in my home town of Brisbane, Australia. Just out of interest has stripping outside of strip clubs become so out there in other parts of the world like the UK, America and Canada?
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You are confusing sex work. That was not stripping, that was prostitution.
When people hire any kind of performer for a party, it is their CHOICE as to what the performer will do.
A clown can have balloons and throw confetti, but, if you are an environmentalist, then you may want something more ecological.
You wont have a magician use a rabbit if you are against animals being used in acts or are allergic to rabbits.
When I stripped, I knew women who actually performed strip - tease and Burlesque at parties.
They were paid $250 and up + $150-200 for their security guard. They were strippers. They danced in full view, did not go into rooms for "private shows". Strippers do not fuck toys or people as part of the "strip-tease". Strippers do not give blow jobs.
Prostitutes who perform at parties do.
Different groups that fall under the general heading of "Sex Worker".
Strippers and Burlesque dancers belong in that category as much as major film actors who've removed clothing on screen do. But, they are there, whether it makes sense or not.
If I was you, I would have a talk with the GF and Brother that hired her.
I also recommend you ask, "what type of "show" will be there", before attending any parties in the future.
Some people enjoy that type of thing. Personally, I don't like to be a part of anything like what you described. And I was a "stripper" for 7 yrs.
Though it was certainly not mere stripping ... I am not sure her masturbatory performance was technically prostitution either (at least under normal legal definitions of the term). My understanding is that prostitution involves sexually servicing someone else for money -- not sexually servicing yourself (or an inanimate object), in view of others, for money.
kbz
ok then, call it a sex show, but don't classify that as stripping. It is not accurate or fair to do so. What was described was a sex show, got it?
Good luck.
Well, she wasn't stripping for starters: she was fucking herself in public, big difference. I guess next we'll need to start having women cut themselves with razor blades or suck donkey cock for a group of drunks once people start getting desensitized to women publicly masturbating for money.
In my personal opinion (so no need to have a coronary if you disagree), if those things must happen it's best done not in mixed company. I really get fed up with the idea that as a hetero woman I'm supposed to just sit back with the guys and watch them leer at other naked woman performing sex acts as though it's something I'm supposed to get as much of a kick out of as them. At the very least I'm not supposed to mind or else I'm just a jealous prude. Women are always expected to show what good sports we are about this stuff, all while being extra careful to never bruise a fragile male ego. I just don't think enough men can understand how all this looks from a woman's point of view, to be a member of a group that is constantly viewed first and foremost as a sexual vessel whose value os measured by how much you can arouse a man at any given moment. Just be careful not to like sex TOO much, or else you're just a whore and barely human at all. It just gets old.
This is coming from a woman who likes sex a lot, enjoys porn (that doesn't depict rape or violence), wears fitted feminine clothing and makeup, and is comfortable with my own nudity. I'm just sick of the pornification of the whole fucking world where everything from Halloween to birthday barbecues are dominated by attempts to be 'sexy' in one way or another...it's all about pleasing da mens.
totally agree.
I second that as well. It just makes me depressed more than anything.
I'd be horrified if I found out that someone bought my boyfriend a girl that was masturbating in front of him for a birthday or celebration. I would almost consider that to be an intimate act as that's something I do with him. At the same time I feel like I would have a hard time convincing others that I'm not a prude or crazy for thinking this because "boys will be boys". Give me a break!
Well, she wasn't stripping for starters: she was fucking herself in public, big difference. I guess next we'll need to start having women cut themselves with razor blades or suck donkey cock for a group of drunks once people start getting desensitized to women publicly masturbating for money.
In my personal opinion (so no need to have a coronary if you disagree), if those things must happen it's best done not in mixed company. I really get fed up with the idea that as a hetero woman I'm supposed to just sit back with the guys and watch them leer at other naked woman performing sex acts as though it's something I'm supposed to get as much of a kick out of as them. At the very least I'm not supposed to mind or else I'm just a jealous prude. Women are always expected to show what good sports we are about this stuff, all while being extra careful to never bruise a fragile male ego. I just don't think enough men can understand how all this looks from a woman's point of view, to be a member of a group that is constantly viewed first and foremost as a sexual vessel whose value os measured by how much you can arouse a man at any given moment. Just be careful not to like sex TOO much, or else you're just a whore and barely human at all. It just gets old.
This is coming from a woman who likes sex a lot, enjoys porn (that doesn't depict rape or violence), wears fitted feminine clothing and makeup, and is comfortable with my own nudity. I'm just sick of the pornification of the whole fucking world where everything from Halloween to birthday barbecues are dominated by attempts to be 'sexy' in one way or another...it's all about pleasing da mens.
I've never seen a private strip show, as you apparently did -- but that sounds more like a sex show rather than a strip show.
I have personally only been to a strip club twice. Many American strip clubs are topless only -- those that are fully nude clubs are not allowed to serve alcohol (BYOB). At the one fully-nude club I have been to (co-ed bachelor party), there was no penetration or masturbation at all. There was stripping, nude dancing, and while there were certainly intentional spread-legged displays and occasional external rubbing, there was no insertion of anything (at least on the stages ... I cannot speak to what goes on during lap dances).
Stripping is a difficult area for feminism. On the one hand, it is as clear a delineation of the objectification and sexualization of women as you can find. I would say that it causes body-image issues as well -- although the dancers I saw at the two clubs I have been to were certainly real women, with all the curves and flaws that we all have.
On the other hand, I don't want to criticize women for making the choices they have to make. You've got to do what you've got to do ... and if taking off your clothes (or even masturbating) in front of men is what you have to do to make things work, it is not my place to criticize or judge.
kbz
Modeling and acting cause more body issues...as does Ballet.
As a stripper, regardless of your body type you learn very quickly that there someone for everyone. Men like all types, women customers too. When I became a stripper, my confidence level went way up and I learned that I was indeed beautiful, though I do not look at all like a model.
I have "ethnic" features, I'm only 5'4" and weighed 125lbs. while stripping. That's what a model of 5'10" weighs. I weigh 155lbs. now and I'm still happy with my body.
I do admit to obsessing more about my physical appearance when I made my living being looked at.
It's part of the job.
I like the fact that you question whether expectations for female strippers/performers are higher than those for male ones. I think it's a very valid question, and one that is not often asked in the whole "stripping" debate.
However, I wonder why you write, in reference to the male stripper, that he was "in all his glory." Is that a euphemism for an erection? Or is this a value judgment on the more explicit part of his performance? Because if so, why is it that an explicit performance by a male is "glorious" while a similarly explicit performance by a woman is degrading? After all, if he was in "all his glory" for just a minute or so, while she did much more complicated things for a more extended period of time, isn't she that much more "glorious?" Could it be that her facial expression was due to the fact that she was performing physically challenging acts that she had to concentrate on? (think about the pathetic looking smiles of figure skaters and ballet dancers, who probably love what they do).
I am not, of course saying that the setting for that strip act was appropriate, or that she was treated well, or that she loves her line of work, I am not so naive as to assume every stripper is in it for the thrill of the art. But I did wonder as to the different undertones of your description of the female/male strippers, and I wonder if the reason for that is your disappointment with how far the female performance went, or that you have different attitudes towards men/women in this line of work.
it was a sex show, not a strip tease or "strip act" as you put it.