By Kim Nacita, Queens University Student Panelist at the Feministing Tour
I was asked a couple of weeks ago by a friend to speak during Person's Day about what it is like to be a feminist today. I declined because the thought of public speaking makes me want to vomit. Which, I gotta say, I've been doing a good job of not doing so far. Anyways, when I mentioned this to another friend she said "Oh, what does she want you to say? That being a feminist today sucks?" And I laughed, because we both knew that's exactly what it is. Being a feminist today is HARD. And I don't mean to diminish the struggle that feminists have gone through before our generation. But right now, trying to talk about feminism to people outside of my Social Science-y university group that I surround myself with is like trying to prove to our Prime Minister that we have a colonial history. They don't understand where you're coming from, they don't care and they think you're joking. And I don't blame them because feminism is a term that I learnt much later on while I was doing my undergraduate degree. Growing up, I was suspicious of the Catholic Church's disapproval of homosexuality, I was aware of the prevalence of violence against women and realized how racism affected men and women of colour differently. But I didn't think that fighting against these issues as well as a whole host of others, were what this whole idea of "feminism" was until about my third year here in Kingston. I say Kingston, and not just Queen's because my involvement in the Kingston community is one of the things that has saved me and continues to save me from going insane in our little university bubble. I realized once I stepped out of Queen's and into Kingston that there were women who fought these battles on the ground as opposed to on paper. Those who know me, know that theory makes me uneasy. It's not that I don't think theory is important, but to put it crudely, although theory helps me to understand why I feel safe walking home at night, it doesn't make it any less dangerous for me to do so.
But getting involved in the community is different when you've got an expiration date. For most of us, as students, we assume that we're only going to be here until they hand us our degree. I mean it's no wonder that some of us are hesitant to create new traditions here since sustainability is such a huge problem. The Women's Centre itself continues to struggle to find people to fill in spots once we leave. Time, for us, as students, is very crucial since we practically live on deadlines and marks. I'm saying this not only for the students who feel like they're the only ones trying to juggle school, social life and personal missions, but for the community members who might at times reasonably doubt our commitment to Kingston. We struggle on both ends trying to balance our lives while attempting to navigate all of these newfound ideas of feminism.
Feminism, for me, has always been about finding a place to situate all of my "differences". And the more people I meet who consider themselves feminists, the more grateful I am by these differences. There is a lot of comfort in knowing that we're not all the same. It means that we still have much to teach each other and ask of each other. I take a gender studies class and the other day, a few of the students talked about our apprehension towards disagreement. We are so afraid to challenge each other or to put out ideas that can be challenged that we sometimes tread too lightly on topics that we`re passionate about or ideas that we think may be too taboo. Sometimes we are the strongest critics of each other than we potentially silence productive dialogue. Or at times we are too afraid to be painted with that "angry feminist" brush. But feminism, for me, has always been about that uncomfortable feeling that shoves me out of my complacency. At times, I'm too busy using humour as a coping mechanism that I forget that it's okay for us to be angry. That we should be pissed off about the violence against women that is STILL prevalent today, about how domestic and undocumented workers are treated in this country, about how girls grow up idealizing an unattainable and singular form of beauty, about "Girls Only" toys focusing on household work, about homophobic slurs that leaders on this campus spout and the Islamaphobia that our fellow students have to endure. I, in my oh so infinite wisdom, give you permission to be angry. Because we know now, that this anger turns into something much more. It turns into our demand for something more than we have, although some would have us believe that we have enough. It turns into conversation and mobilization. And we can't forget that along with this anger comes humility. Because as quickly as we can point out someone's privilege, they can point out ours. We, ourselves, are privileged in so many ways. Enough that we have time out of our own days to come here tonight. But this is not one of those white guilt/male guilt type moments. We have proven, in this city, whether by editorials in the newspaper, marching the streets or lobbying, time and time again, that we want change.
So I must say, that feminism is alive and well here at Queen's and in Kingston. Evident by this evening's double booking of Feministing speakers as well as speakers on Islamic Feminism. There is a buzz of feminists in this campus and unfortunately, sometimes it is difficult for us to find each other. A few weeks ago, I sat in a room with our small but dedicated group at the Women's Centre, which I'm glad to say includes a member from Women in Science and Engineering, And in the room, that day was Caleigh, the co-chair for the Queen's Feminist Review, Vlada, who is of course the chair for the Women's Empowerment Committee, Lara, the equity coordinator from the SGPS and I realized that this was the first time I had really come in contact with these organizations all at once. There are so many of us that consider ourselves feminists but somehow we've lost touch of each other. I implore the people here today to look around this city and within the institutions such as Queen's, St. Lawrence and RMC and find your allies. I think considering ourselves as just feminists, these days, does not quite encompass our complexities. We are anti-racist activists, environmentalists, queer activists, academics, male allies, critical theorists and more. I have also been lucky enough to sit in planning committees with women from Kingston Interval House, Sexual Assault Centre, Immigrant Services in Kingston and the Area, Dawn's House and Three Sisters Kingston, Independent Living Centre and though some of these women may not consider themselves feminists, they are doing the work that positively affects women's lives today. We are so privileged to live, however short or long it may be, in Kingston where we can affect change so readily, if we only support each other through it.
So thank you for coming out tonight. This really shows your commitment to this complex idea we call feminism.
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At times, I'm too busy using humour as a coping mechanism that I forget that it's okay for us to be angry. That we should be pissed off about the violence against women that is STILL prevalent today, about how domestic and undocumented workers are treated in this country, about how girls grow up idealizing an unattainable and singular form of beauty, about "Girls Only" toys focusing on household work, about homophobic slurs that leaders on this campus spout and the Islamaphobia that our fellow students have to endure.
this right here. Exactly it. I think that as feminists we forget that one of the patriarchy's doings is teaching us not to be angry. Well, that stops here
If you haven't given this speech yet, please change this line:
>> "...continues to save me from going insane in our little university bubble."
Ableism is not feminism.
Anger has a role and a justified function but there is a world of difference between responsible anger and irresponsible anger. Just as the best public dialogues on sensitive topics have a moderator to keep everyone in line and focused, that is the only method by which I feel comfortable introducing or allowing anger into any debate.
Rebekah, I'm glad that that part spoke to you! I feel like the audience really felt it too.
Audentia, unfortunately I have already given the speech. Thank you though, for pointing that out to me. It was not my intent to denigrate anyone, but that is not an excuse for my thoughtless word use. I know that I still have much to learn.
Comrade Kevin, there is indeed a difference between responsible and irresponsible anger. I hope I didn't give the impression that we should be irresponsible about it. I meant to point out that anger, which we're so often denied, can be a catalyst for our own activism.
This forum is GREAT. And if you get a chance to go to one of the feministing campus stops... DO SO!