I am friends with a wonderful man. In his younger days he was an anti-racism activist. He respects (actually respects, not "respects") women. He is supportive of my feminist status. However, I have noticed something that makes me stop dead in my tracks. It is so unlike everything else he believes in. My friend is sizeist. He is naturally thin and always will be thanks to genetics. I really like him as a person but occasionally he says things that boggle my mind.
I'm reaching out to you folks for help. I don't know how to bring any of this up. Do you have any suggestions? I'm not very good at stating my case in arguments. I tend to become really combative without realizing it.
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Some more specific information seems necessary. Sizeism, like any other -ism covers a very broad range of behaviors and mindsets. What exactly is your friend doing or saying?
Sorry. I didn't include that because I couldn't think of any solid examples of exactly what was/is said. Hmm. I've noticed that if he is complaining about someone he'll mention their weight as if it is pertinent information when it clearly is not. That is the thing that sticks out in my head the most. His defense is always something along the lines of health issues or it says something about their character.
Okay. Given that he sounds progressive and egalitarian in other matters, it may just be that he's never been exposed to any alternate viewpoint. Broach the subject with him casually (maybe not in response to one of his comments) and send him to Shapely Prose.
"Fat is a character flaw" is something that is deeply embedded in our society, and that is continuously and subtly reinforced by nearly every element of media and culture. It's not surprising that he's internalized this.
Personally, I'd stay away from the "fat is unhealthy" vs "fat is not necessarily unhealthy" debate, and instead address the fact that even if being overweight is unhealthy, not being healthy doesn't make someone less deserving of common decency.