When I went to kindergarten most of my friends were girls, in fact all of my friends were girls except for one boy and his name was Chelsea. Looking back to that time I don't think I quite understood that Chelsea wasn't a girl. After all, he had a "girl's" name and to my simple mind that meant he had to be a girl, right? Perhaps if I was in kindergarten today I would have assumed that half the girl's in the class with names like Riley, Logan, Hunter and so on were in fact boys.
We progressed into elementary school together and at some point I thankfully learned more about the differences between girls and boys and that it wasn't just based on a name. Looking back though, I did also observe just how confusing having a name of the "wrong" gender can be, for the teachers at least.
This experience I think led to my fascination with names. Today I notice the trend, which seems to get stronger and stronger, of parents giving their daughters so-called "strong" names, which most typically means "boys" names. Are there really no 'strong" classical girl's names that can be used?
While I don't believe that names define gender and wish that parents should be able to name their child free from traditional gender assoications that put names on one side of a list or another and actually choose a name just because they like it or not, I dislike that for the most part this trend is also one way.
For the most part it seems socially acceptable, perhaps even more desirable, to give a traditional boy's name to a girl, but horror of horrors should it go the other way. We seem to be suggesting that giving a girl a boy's name will lead her to be strong and empowered and independent, suggesting that these are all male qualities that she could not somehow achieve if she was not given a boy's name to help her along the way through life. Converesly to give a boy a more traditional girl's name leaves parents cringing at the idea that this would suggest their boy was weak, or a sissy or gay or girly. Girly indeed! The idea that association to anything female is to be avoided and has no redeeming positive qualities.
So the trend continues as boys names cross from the boys into the grey area of so-called unisex names which for the most part is a misnomer for boys names used on girls. Indeed as a name nerd it is amusing at times to see discussions on unisex names where people make a list of unisex names for girls and unisex names for boys (the former always much longer than the latter). Of course if a name was truly unisex there would be just one list.
Then at some critical mass, the unisex name crosses into the domain of the girl's and thereafter it shall mostly remain. There is certainly anecdotal evidence at least to suggest that the adoption of boys names by girls is much higher than girls names by boys. Equally the resistance of a name crossing from the boys to the girls is much lower than the converse of a girls name crossing over to a boys name.
Trends certainly do change and over a timescale of 50-100 years names that are considered as labelled for boys and girls now can certainly change again. But the idea of associating gender and all the stereotypical associations of that gender with names to my mind just reinforces those stereotypes even further.
My challenge for parents would be that if they are looking for strong, positive and empowering names for girls, look to a list of traditional names for girls first and rethink those names, give them a chance. You don't have to use a boys name to give your daughter those associations. At the same time, if you are truly in favor of cross gender name swapping, then go ahead, but don't be aghast at the idea of finding a suitable girl's name for your son too. If it works, it works both ways! To suggest otherwise is playing into the gender stereotype trap.
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My challenge for parents would be that if they are looking for strong, positive and empowering names for girls, look to a list of traditional names for girls first and rethink those names, give them a chance.
I guess I don't see the value in choosing a name just because it was traditionally a girls name. A lot of things are traditionally feminine, but we reject many of those too. My instinct is to move to dissociate strength and similar qualities from maleness and empathy and nurturing and similar qualities from femaleness, rather than clinging to traditionally female things. Then nobody will care whether the name was traditionally male or female.
I do agree that the asymmetry is annoying, but think that's a function of our cultural attitudes toward gender, and this is the deeper issue that needs to be addressed.
It depends on whether you consider a child's name a subversive act. I would be cautious beforehand because the child has no say over the matter, though I suppose he or she could change it later on if he or she felt so compelled. In the same way that I don't like it when parents use their children as extensions of themselves I am a little wary of parents who make such statements on behalf of children who may not share similar sentiments once they grow old enough to form their own separate consciousness.
It's a hell of a balance to maintain. On the one hand, I want to impart values to my son- that's part of my job, right? But on the other hand, I don't want to impose unfair expectations on him. Name-picking was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.
Try an online search for name meanings. Two examples:
http://www.behindthename.com/
http://www.name-meanings.com/
I'm sure you'll find as many strong "classic" girl names as you want. Here are some familiar names that literally mean strong.
Breanna Strong, Virtuous
Bree Strong One
Brianna Strong One
Brianne Strong One
Bridget Strong
Brigette Strong
Brigid Strong
Brigit Strong
Bryanne Strong One
Carla Strong One
Carlotta Strong One
Carly Strong One
Kaori Strong
Karla Strong And Womanly
Matilde Strong In War
Ondrea Strong, Courageous
Vallerie To Be Strong
Brian and Carl are male forms, but others appear to have none, ie, are probably meant to be female.
Gail/Abigail = Big
Oddly, there are only two names, female, with the meaning of big. There should be a load of male names of various cultures that mean big, like Taro or Dai from Japanese.
As a guy who was given a girls name I can attest to the fact that girls who have unisex or even outright boys names have it a lot easier than guys who are given girls names. Not that my mom was trying to make some political statement so she assured me, she just simply preferred the spelling and sound of Alexandra ending in -dra rather than -dre or -der and decided no matter whether she had a daughter or son that was the name she would use.
Growing up with a girls name has left me more appreciative of some feminist concerns and issues which is one reason I have lurked (until now) here. Of course it was impossible to get anything with my name on it that wasn't classically "girlish". I've even experienced being pre-selected / excluded for certain tasks/roles during my school life based on my name/assumed gender by those who didn't know me.
While I haven't changed my name, although I go by Alex most of the time, and don't hold any strong negative feels towards my mom for naming me as she did, I don't think parents should use cross gender names to make a statement. There are enough reasons for kids to be cruel to each other as it is and a cross gender name just makes it even easier.
In Elementry school, having a "boy's name" was no pinic for me. When Toni is spelled with an "I" it is considered a girl's name but I still got picked on because of it. One time is middle school a kid said I was a crossdresser. When it first started in kindergarden, my mom said next year I could go by my middle name, Robin. Sadly there happened to be a boy named Robin in my class that year so I couldn't use it.
It got so bad I tried to go by Antonia. Toni is a nickname for Antonette or Antonia. But only one or two close friends actually called me Antonia. My teachers wouldn't do it so I eventually went back to Toni. Atleast by high school people stopped giving me shit because of my name. I was picked on for other stuff but that's a topic for another day.