Okay, so I personally probably wouldn't buy a necklace in the shape of my vagina. Because really, I'm already wearing my vagina. And I'd rather spend my money on books and ice cream, like I always do. BUT I don't poo poo the idea of vagina necklaces because vaginas are somehow gross. Someone I know posted a link to How Much Do You Love Your Vulva? Wear it! and when I visited the site, I saddened by the responses it got.
While there were a few people who appreciated the artist's work:
those are beautiful, a cross between Georgia O'Keefe and so much that is fabulous about being a woman; thanks for highlighting, Perez, and congratulations to the etsy artist for doing this for herself and all the rest of us; true vagina love is long overdue, xo
Most of the comments looked like this:
that is by far the ugliest fucking thing I have ever seen!!!! Seriously I mean what the fuck is the point of that??? and ps. if you have major nasty beefcurtains, why the hell would you want to show it off in the first place?? So gross
Particularly disturbing is how much extra attention the one non-white vagina is getting:
WHO THE HELL WANTS TO WEAR THEIR BEEF CURTAINS AROUND THEIR NECK? LAME ASS WASTE OF MONEY.THE BLACK/BROWN ONE IS ESPECIALLY DISGUSTING..EWWWW LOOKS LIKE IT STINKS!!
Seriously, do all brown ones look like burned bacon on the edges?
The black one looks like that fake dog chit!! lolololololololol Just like the real ones ahahahahahahahahah
the "african american " one is beyond gross, wtf is wrong with the lips?
And to the woman who wrote:
All you people saying "It's beautiful! Appreciate your vulva! Have some respect for yourselves, girls!" need to shut up and stop telling people what to feel. If you think it's beautiful and want to wear your private parts as jewelry, go right ahead, but for the rest of us who find it disgusting, let us decide how we can best respect ourselves as women.
I would like to respond. Yes, you can find it disgusting. And you can decide how to best respect yourself as a woman. But you are not just disrespecting yourself. You are disrespecting other women too. You are insulting any woman whose parts resemble the ones represented on the necklaces. I already said I don't see myself wearing my vagina as a necklace- but there is a huge difference between making that decision and saying that other peoples' vaginas are gross looking.
I also wonder what motivates so many women to insult the vaginas so brutally. I would tend to think it is because they don't want anyone to think that they too have a non-porntastic looking vagina. So rather than saying "That's normal. And okay." they say "That's disgusting," meaning "Please don't think my vagina looks like that! Love me!" Why can't we love each other even if our vaginas won't be starring in any porn films?
The shaming going on on this site is truly sickening. I encourage everyone to visit and post more supportive, woman-friendly comments. :)
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w00t feminism, right?
Great piece. I don't agree with all of it, as a proud wearer of one of Vulva Love Lovely's pieces, but kudos to you for issuing a well-written and well-deserved kick in the pants.
errr... I'm not sure how I would feel seeing a some guy wearing a dick pendant. So I'm not exactly big on this.
I take issue with the brown vagina. WHy? I'm a black woman my vagina has NEVER looked like that. The rest look perfectly healthy the brown one looks like somethign is wrong with it. When is it normal for one lip to be a billion shades darker and a totally different texture than the other?
FAIL.
As for the general comments about vaginas being gross, that's really sad. I patiently await for the women who are ready to rip to shreds anyone who dares not keep her name upon marriage to come tear a new one on those who say vaginas are gross and ugly.
Um, not all black women's vaginas look the same?
And I don't see anything wrong with the different shades of lips or size or whatever. One of my vagina lips is bigger than the other. Not all vaginas are going to be cute and symmetrical like the ones you see in porn. I think if anything, it creates more of a realistic perspective on vaginas and how they may not always look "pretty" but that does not mean they are ugly or disgusting.
So its normal for one lip to be a TOTALLY DIFFERENT TEXTURE tan the other? It's normal for thattexture to resemble characteristics of infection or disease? Seriously?
I'm not comparing it to porn. I'm a WOC my vagina doesn't look like that. The only vagina I've seen that looked like that (texture) was white but the same texture and it had an infection from a sex ed class years ago.
IIRC, all the "realistic"* pendants are modeled directly on photographs, usually photographs of the customers themselves. It might not look like yours, but are you sure it doesn't look like its owner's? Maybe it's a scar or birth irregularity of some sort.
* There are other ones that are inspired by flowers, etc., so they look like nature-vulva hybrids or something. Obviously those are not meant to look like anyone's. :)
I think they are kinda cool looking. I would probably wear one if the general response wasn't "EEEEEEW, girl parts a nasty!!!1111 eleventy_one! Beef-curtains!" That kinda view is exactly why we should have more exposure to vaginae. I honestly think the only reason that "EEW!" is the general response is because we've been told it is "nasty" for years. I don't think I could be friends with, let alone have sex with someone who thinks that way about my body.
I don't want this to come off the wrong way, or for anyone to think it's disingenuous, and as I am writing this, I am searching my brain for the right way to pose the question, so here goes:
I believe I was a feminist long before I even knew anything about feminism, but once I started learning more about feminism, I have never understood the fascination and obsession that surrounds vaginas; even the term "Vagina Monologues." Is it that we are trying to normalize the term in order to strip its acquired vulgarity under the patriarchy? If so, then I understand. Penis has acquired the same type of vulgarity, and I believe these words are more accepted today anyway.
But with all of that aside though, I still don't understand the fascination that surrounds the vagina. I know there are major issues that still exist today, along with body image issues that feminism needs to tackle, but how does this involve us learning to love our vagina, and how is that conducive to the fight against any of these issues?
Please don't take this the wrong way, it is something I've pondered for a while.
I think a lot of it has to do with the lack of education young girls receive about their own anatomy. In most cases girls and women do not even know the proper names for their own genitalia, some may not have even seen their own vulva. From a young age boys are taught that they have a penis and testacles (or "balls" for simplicity). In most families, parents will give cutesy names to describe their daughter's genitalia. They won't know that the outer part of their genitalia is a Vulva and it consists of lips, the labia majora and minora, the clitoris, etc. I learned to just call it my crotch or "pee-pee." There are even college aged women that don't know the proper names - hence everyone calling the entire area a vagina. The vagina is internal, there is no way you can see it unless you have a speculum. I think this is an extreme example but there was one woman in my college sexual health class that didn't know we urinated out of our urethra, she thought it came out of our vagina! Yikes.
Also, the sociocultural representations of the vagina that are present are very negative. Some of these representations include the vagina as inferior to the penis. The vagina as absence, a young girl learning that they have a crotch and they are different than a boy because they lack a penis. They don't even learn that they have this amazing reproductive system within them. Also, the vagina as a passive receptacle for the penis; this falls in line with the idea that women are passive in sex and don't receive pleasure. The vagina as vulnerable and abused. The vagina as sexually inadequate, i.e. not tight enough or not virginal enough for the penis. The vagina as disgusting, every girl learns from some societal outlet that the vagina smells like fish, it's wet, and generally something gross that needs to be deodorized and hidden. And the vagina as dangerous, if you haven't hear of vagina dentata look it up, it is ridiculous, and then rent the indie film "Teeth." We also hear representations of the vagina as a black hole. Such representations have implications for women's health and well-being, and in order to promote women's sexual and reproductive health, these pervasive images need to be replaced with more positive representations.
i don' get it either. i find it disgusting and not because its a female body part. i'd feel the same way if someone walk around with an ear, or worse a penis, on a necklace
"USArmyWifeALLOVER" says, "And what's with the tiny dicks growing out of them?" How sad it sounds like she doesn't know what a clitoris is. I know the middle one looks rather big but it's obviously a clit.
Acutally, I've seen these before but just realized they are each done to represent the vulva of an actual woman. Hmm.
I wonder how much these women have actually looked at their genitals with a mirror. They might be surprised.
And yeah, the insecurity is astounding.
I wouldn't wear these in public but only because I wouldn't want to see a man wearing a necklace of his penis.
And for the hundredth time, the vagina is the birth canal and everything outside that is vulva. Why are people afraid (or unaware of) the word vulva?
Lynne, yes, I think we do want to normalize it to some extent. I realize vagina and penis are both words people wouldn't normally say at the dinner table and that's fine but think of the difference if a male refers to male genitals around other males (and possibly girls who just have to put up with it) and if a female refers to female genitals around other females (or maybe males). One is funny or complimenting someone (he's got balls) and the other is gross or never happens.
Sorry about using the word "vagina" instead of "vulva." If you asked me to define the two words I would get it right, but I suppose I do say one when I mean the other sometimes. Thanks for calling me out on it!
I am all for positive representation of female genitalia and a push for more societal acceptance of female anatomy but I really don't think we are going to make much of a change on a comment thread on the Perez Hilton website. I think it is very sad that these men and women are so uneducated about the female anatomy and are so disgusted by something that is either right between their legs or something that their sexual partner might have between their legs. But I think to render change in this area of acceptance we need to really push for reproductive health education in schools at a young age and encourage parents to teach their kids the proper names for their genitalia and how it works.
"Beefcurtains"? I think that is the worst word to reference parts of the female anatomy I've ever heard--and I thought "slit," "gash," "wound" and suchlike took the cake.
I know that's not really intended to be the takeaway from this post necessarily, but seriously.
I'm not sure I would wear jewelry that is clearly a representation of my genitals (of whatever type) in any setting where I would not feel comfortable exposing my actual genitals. Pretty much limited to play parties or private dates with lovers at the moment; although I could see myself wearing it as part of a drag outfit. Maybe a more subtle stylized version; or something historical and awesome like a vulva pilgrim badge. I think if I decided to get bottom surgery someday this would be something I'd commission, as a sort of memorial, you know. Maybe given as a love-token, or troth-plighting exchange (although I don't think I'd wear a replica of a lover's genitals in public if I felt uncomfortable wearing my one of my own).
Although maybe I'm coming at this from the wrong angle, and people should be able to wear representations of their genitals wherever they want, without having it possibly be construed as an invitation to view the original. *shrug*
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Obviously, these commentators have never seen a real vulva up close.