I was at a pretty low-key party last night with some friends, mostly all just sitting around a large dining room table eating and drinking. I don't exactly remember how, but somehow the conversation turned to race, which is of course normally quite charged; we're not a bunch of social activists or race experts, but a group of scientists who have a lot of different opinions and, my guess is, different exposure to the study of race and class on either an academic or personal level.
I was most happy to find one of the new guys in our department was not afraid to adamantly point out his white male privilege and "white liberal guilt" and to question "Why don't we have any black friends, why is our department all white, why is this CITY all white?" Ahh, new friend! (You can definitely question whether or not he should feel any guilt, that is legitimate, but at least give him props for admitting his feelings.)
You can imagine the knee-jerk reaction of most at the table:
"I've just never lived anywhere with a lot of black people. Are you saying that I should go seek out black friends? I think that's MORE racist!"
"Why should I feel guilty? I'm not doing anything wrong."
"Anybody could move to this city if they wanted to, no one is stopping them." (The cost of living is over 150% the national average here.)
"Well what are YOU gonna do about it, what is your anger doing?"
"There's no real problem because everyone is treated equally."
It's amazing to me, who immerses myself in blogs like Feministing every day, that people still don't see a problem with inequality and just say that the blatant injustice in this world "is just how it is" or "is not a problem." Certainly, I read about these sentiments, but don't expect them to be expressed by my own friends.
A few of us continued in the conversation for the whole night. Some upsetting things were said, but in all we felt like we wanted to engage in the conversation. However, that was only a few of us. Sitting here the next morning, I think that the most upsetting thing to me was that most of the attendees (all white men, and later one woman) just got up and left the conversation less than ten minutes after it started.
I think what I'm most upset about is the fact that I should have used this to explain my anger. Because later in the conversation, when the first guy and I were pressured on basically how to solve inequality, I pointed out that we don't have to have all the answers, but people have to recognize it and be angry about it before anything can change. Someone asked me again, "What's the point of being angry?" I should have better explained that if this conversation had never happened, if we had kept our mouths shut, then no one else would have recognized the problems at hand. Another guy kept saying that within 100 years, there would be no discrimination, but I pointed out that wouldn't be the case if people aren't angry and if people keep saying (as he did earlier that night) that everyone is treated equally when they are not. I should have explained that when half the party gets up and leaves the table to avoid having this conversation, things will never change. When they are insulted and offended and defensive when you try to suggest that they have an inherent privileged position in society, they'll never see what's wrong and resist ways to change.
It was definitely an experience that was thought-provoking and that I haven't had since moving here for graduate school. Although I'm still offended by the words and actions of some of my friends, I'm glad that at least these things came out in the open rather than being hush-hush about it all. And at least now they know how I feel, too.
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If by Rudyard Kipling, modified by me.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Woman, my daughter.
"Why don't we have any black friends, why is our department all white, why is this CITY all white?"
If the city is indeed all white, then it is hardly surprising that the department is 'white' and that friends are 'white' also.
I am puzzled at the OP: is it really a problem if the city is (overwhelmingly) 'white'? I mean, really?
I've googled and found that, for example, Honolulu has a 'black rate' of 1.3% (1992 figures). Albuquerque has 3%. Detroit has 76%.
Does one deduce that Honolulu is racist? Do the people of Honolulu need to be shamed? Should they do anything about it?
The questions are rhetorical. I feel that you are probably seeing inequality in places where none exists; is there "blatant injustice" in Honolulu?
If battles are to be fought, I would suggest that the battlefield for justice should not be Honolulu or Albuquerque - choosing those cities looks odd.
There are more ethnicities than just black and white. Honolulu and Albuquerque are ideal cities to fight for racial justice (srsly, Honolulu is odd? Do you know nothing about the path to Hawaiian statehood? Albuquerque? You know that's in New Mexico, right? With Native American Indian populations? Who were practically slaughtered out of existence in the path to US sovereignity? And never quite recovered? Hell yes, Albuquerque is a battlefield.).
The mere existence of an ethnic majority in a city is not problematic. How it got that way and how the marginalized classes are treated are. And remember - the ethnic majority is not necessarily the privileged class. Take Detroit. Detroit got to be a black majority city by white flight. Detroit is like the poster city for racial injustice despite being majority black.
Why is indeed the question to be asked, and when the roots of why are discovered, take steps to eradicate them. Eradicating racism won't lead to ethnic uniformity across the US, but it will lead to people of all ethnicities having equal access to resources, ie, housing, police coverage, utilities, education, regardless of where they live.
Frumious,
You make valid points. However, they are beside the point that the OP was making (I think). To paraphrase the OP: The city is overwhelmingly white and most people I meet have mostly white friends, and they do not feel guilty about it.
As you rightly say, there are historical reasons why the racial mix is uneven, and why even the majority group can be underprivileged.
But that does not mean that someone in a 'white' city, who has 'white' friends is him- or herself racist. It is an accident of their situation.
I will also add that conflating uneven mixes in cities with injustice is a non sequitur. Mixed cities can be unjust and Unmixed (?) cities can be just.
And relating the mix in a city to the inustice in the world is stretching things a little far.
I wrote a post about a similar situation a week or so ago here. I think you were brave to break the silence around the issue and pursue the topic despite social pressure to not challenge white privilege. I'm glad you found a group who wanted to engage with you.
As for the others, I suggest you forgive their fear, if you can, and try to give individuals another chance to engage when he/she is in a less pressured atmosphere. People are not really given the tools including basic information about the facts of privilege and the true history of Racism in our country in connection to how this history has lead to inequality today. Some "friends" may remain committed to their misinformation and ignorance, but others could learn something from you including how to speak up in face of pressure to remain silent.
@FrumiousB and smiley: Dead on FrumiousB! There is a history in these places that is largely glossed over and obscured in mainstream historical narratives regarding how and why we live in an unequal world. This obfuscation is one way in which people, white and non-white, are disempowered from discussing and taking action to eradicate inequality in our society. If you don't have the basic facts, you can't solve the problem.
I'm in teacher's college and I feel like we talk about race and class in half my classes so I'm used to being around people who mostly get it. It's a surprise when I get into a conversation with someone who denies their white privilege.
You don't have any black friends and you've moved to an all-white city? Wow, I can't even imagine.