For one of my classes in school I'm focusing on the sexism in the Abstinence-Only education curricula that is put out in many public schools. I've found some good information about this, but most of it comes from blogs like this and aren't really good resources. We have to use mostly peer reviewed articles...etc.
Just wanted to put this out there if anyone knows some good articles about this subject, and also to just open up conversation about the issue. I know that in middle school (it was a private school) we had somewhat of sex education--if you can call it that. We had a preacher come in and tell us how we were going to be bombarded with pressures to have sex by boys and peers when we got to high school and that we needed to stay strong. We weret told a variety of things, such as "girls who give in to pressure to have sex usually have low self-esteem" and "if you have sex with someone you give them permission to take your heart and stomp on it" and other things like that. We also were told how we could get horrible diseases and/or get pregnant if we gave in to pressure to have sex.
Of course, nothing was mentioned about girls actually wanting to have sex, nor was there any mention of protection. It was simply "Don't do it---or face the consequences".
How was your sex education? Was it in a public school? Did you notice any sexism? Blatent lies about sex?
With funding going back to abstinence only education, I fear many students will hear what I heard, and it's not a good thing. If it werent for my internet prowess and the fact that there was a planned parenthood close enough to skip school and secretly go to for birth control, I would probably have ended up pregnant because I would have had no clue about protection in high school.
Opinions? Stories?
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The extent of it was one month's worth of uncomfortable instruction when I was in fifth grade. Girls were taught by one instructor and boys taught by another, but most of what we focused on wasn't anything particularly informative, but mostly ways to prevent spreading HIV/AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases. Even then I found it frustratingly incomplete, but apparently that was all even a somewhat progressive system in the South could ever hope to achieve.
Other than that, I received much the same treatment in a health ed class taught by a football coach and one day's unpleasant viewing of ancient slides of sexual organs in advanced stages of syphilis. No one ever mentioned the term "abstinence", but instead of pushing an agenda, it pushed nothing at all. It was pure facts without any means of linking them together. I'd call it cowardly more than anything.
That definitely seems to be happening in a lot of schools...the "nothing at all" approach. This is just as bad as abstinence only. Not every teenager can go to their parents (I sure couldn't have), and we all know that generally teenage friends aren't the best people to go to for safe-sex information.
I feel so fortunate to have grown up in Canada, because this doesn't seem to be an issue. Sex ed was part of our regular health curriculum, so it was spread across several years, and the public health nurse made regular stops at the school to answer questions and the like. I don't really recall any sexism in it, though this was years ago and I wasn't as aware as I am now. Still, it was pretty value-neutral as well as comprehensive. I really got a sense that they were helping us to take charge of our sexuality, rather than warn us to guard it.
My (Canadian) sex education was also very thorough. (I actually kept the notes and referred back to them, when I was becoming sexually active four years later).
Unfortunately, I think the Catholic schools in Canada are not nearly as comprehensive in sex ed as the public (which, for schools who have dedicated 'family studies' classes, what can you expect?)
The sex ed I got in public school was pretty comprehensive, though as usual subjects like what precautions two guys or two girls ought to take when having sex together were absent.
My (Catholic) private school wasn't bad, though they did push abstinence as the *best* option. I do remember being told that the oxytocin released during sex bound people together emotionally, so don't have sex or you'll a) stay in a bad relationship longer than you really should and/or b) be even more hurt when you break up. Both the guys and the girls got that lecture though.
When I was in high school, I was taking courses to prepare for going into the medical field. So every year when we got to the reproductive system we got comprehensive and scientific lessons covering everything. Anatomy and physiology of the male and female system, what happens in the body during intercourse, all of the different types of birth control and how each one works, signs and symptoms of the diseases of the reproductive system (sexually transmitted and non-sexually transmitted), and what happens inside the body during pregnancy, childbirth, and abortions. No guilt trips, no pushing religious agendas, no slut shaming.
Another Canadian here. As far as I can remember, we had a pretty good talk once when I was younger (grade five or so) that was very basic but also no-strings-attached. I had sex explained in no uncertain terms, and we were encouraged to anonymously ask questions about anything at all by writing it out on a piece of paper and putting it in a box that was handed around; I remember finally learning a fair bit without any judgments. In high school it was a little more comprehensive, with STDs and various forms of birth control discussed, with a lot of focus on condoms and how if we were going to be having sex, condoms were very very important for prevention of transmission of STDs.
I don't remember any mentions of anything other than totally heteronormative, boys and girls sexual encounters, but I didn't get the impression that sex was bad or terrible or shameful. It just was, and we should have some knowledge about it.
My school (public, BTW) even covered bits of homosexual issues, though probably not as well as they could. Pretty remarkable, actually, considering I was going to school in the ass-end of nowhere, and values are still relatively conservative.
The biggest issue was when they started actually issuing new texts on the subject which covered intercourse a little too, uh, in-depth than some people were comfortable with. (Like we hadn't already found the anatomy texts in the library)
I took "sex ed" my freshman year of high school (I put it in quotation marks because it was really just a one week-long unit in P.E./Health class). My classmates and I got both sides: Abstinence-only and comprehensive.
Even though I was only fourteen and didn't know half as much back then that I do now (I'm twenty), the abstinence-only part didn't sit well with me. The teacher had a motivational speaker-type come in to talk with us about ~saving ourselves~ for marriage and whatnot. The speaker was a young woman (like, college age) and she told us a story about how she had had premarital sex in high school and now regrets it, yada yada yada. You know the deal. That stuff was corny, of course, but the part that really didn't sit well with me (I couldn't really vocalize it at the time) was the activity we did. She started out with a clean cup of water. Then she had us chew on Oreos and spit in the water, dirtying it. This, of course, was a lesson in how if you have premarital sex and with more than one partner you (*cough*girls*cough*) are a filthy slut AKA damaged goods. Sometimes I wish I had had the words to speak up during this slut-shaming bullshit.
Anyway, at the end of this, "I'm Worth Waiting For" stickers were passed around along with brochures that listed alternatives to fucking on dates, like baking cookies or volunteering at the soup kitchen or whatever. Most of us had the good sense to mock this.
Now, the comprehensive. It was definitely very heteronormative. I don't remember if the teacher really addressed homosexuality or not. If she did, it was very brief. Still, she went over all contraceptives (even lesser-used methods, like the female condom and contraceptive foam) and was (as far as I knew) truthful about their effectiveness and how to use them.
That's so crazy. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff I've read in some of the abstinence only books though...it's sad. As for my education, the fucked up demonstration they gave was taking two whole sheets of paper and glueing them together (supposed to be a boyfriend and girlfriend having sex) and then ripping them apart (them breaking up I guess) and showing that if you have sex with someone and you break up (which they of course imply you will if you aren't married, although the guy I had sex with in high school I ended up marrying and we've been together since then) you will no longer be a "whole" person since the papers didn't come apart completely.
What kind of shit is this? Sex is different for everybody, and it can be a great thing if treated with respect and making sure it's safe. However they won't ever tell you that in these sorts of classes, which can really put a guilt-trip on kids who have had sex--and a lot of teens do, although they try to tell you that really no one is having sex even though it seems that way.
We also got the whole "guys need different things than girls in relationships" and "guys are more turned on and can't control themselves so you girls better watch what you wear or you're asking for it" sort of stuff.
Sad.
OMG, Oreos?
This crap should be illegal.
I wonder how it is that they could be performing sex education like it was the 50's?
Sex ed was such a joke at my high school (Catholic!). First of all it was part of the required health class for sophomores taught by the head basketball coach. It was basically like what you would expect, "Yes condoms exist but they fail and odds are you will get pregnant. Abstinence is the only 100% way not to have sex, that's what you should do. And then only have sex with your husband."
lol, I can't help but think of the health teacher from Mean Girls.
"Don't have sex. You WILL get pregnant, and die."
Ha ha. The sad thing is that's really close to what they say! Maybe a bit more subtle...
Some of us can't go to our parents or friends. I was raised VERY conservative Christian (my childhood memories are of protesting abortion on the side of the road and trying to convert my high school to Christiandom--all the while not really having a clue what I was doing) so sex was a no-no. If I had asked about safe sex that would have been asking to be shamed or punished. Thanks to being fairly resourceful and having the internet I did ok on my own--but not all teens can do that. So if they don't get good education in school they might not get it at all. And that whole "don't have sex" thing--it doesn't work. Cuz I did anyways--and so do many teens--regardless of their sex-ed history. The only difference is whether or not they know how to be safe.
My parents asked me to talk with my younger sister about sex after she came home thinking abstinence was HOW you got pregnant.
Her sex ed class used language that was confusing for her (she's a pre-teen) basically saying condoms and birth control prevents pregnancy, people who use abstinence get prgnant. She listened to everything they had to say, came home, and looked up what abstinence meant and of course needed clarification on WHY not having sex meant you;d get pregnant or have STDs and her being a virgin was scare dout of her mind that if she didn't have sex ASAP she'd contract something or get pregnant.
I explained to her abstinence alone works (sans rape of course) if you actaully abstain from sexual intercourse AND sexual contact, no matter how bad you want to. And that condoms and other methods only work if you use them correctly and properly each and every single time. But try as I might I couldn't undo the idea that every guy wanted to have sex and would try really hard to get her to have sex with him. I hate that the push is that all boys (because they usually have these conversations with CHILDREN who aren't even old enough for a learner's permit) think about of girlsis sex and that either you're the type of girl who says yes to everyone or no to everyone. THAT part of sex ed has to change. The sooner the better.
That should be "abstinence only works if.."
Did anybody think to ask that preacher if he had told the boys about how wrong it is to pressure the girls for sex in the first place, or how boys who pressure girls for sex are just trying to impress their peers (another form of low self esteem perhaps?)????
Did anybody think to ask that preacher if he had told the boys about how wrong it is to pressure the girls for sex in the first place, or how boys who pressure girls for sex are just trying to impress their peers (another form of low self esteem perhaps?)????
Yes ma'am. Their answer was that men were visual and more easily turned on than girls, and therefore had a harder time controlling their urges, so it was the female's responsibility to not dress in revealing ways and to not encourage sex by kissing boys (the implication being that than she couldn't stop) - so, you know, if anyone is wondering where rape apologetics start, it's probably fair to assume it's in a Southern Baptist church.
My experience was much the same as yours. It was private school, and there was absolutely no mention of sexual health, discussion of reproductive anatomy, or information about contraception. We were given an anecdote about a woman who has sex before marriage as a lollipop that has been licked by so many people that no one wants it because it is dirty and sticky. And, of course, though it was assumed that as females we didn't want to have sex and could only be pressured into it, the onus to abstain was placed entirely on us. This was especially emphasized by the dress code (we weren't supposed to tempt the boys).
When it came time for me to start having sex, I had to educate myself entirely. Thank god for the Internet and Planned Parenthood.
Second that! My mother tossed away three editions of "The Guide to Getting It On," before I learned to hide it good enough. She was a bit conservative and brainwashed by all that Dr. Laura, Dr. Dobson abstinence only Christian crap. Now, luckily things are different.
Oh god, don't even get me started on Dr. Dobson. I read an early version of the book Preparing for Adolescence when I was six because my parents recommended it, and finished it thinking that people had sex with their feet. Seriously.
I had "Family Life" in grades 5 and 7 when I lived in Winnipeg, they basically told us the mechanics and the reproductive system.
In grade 9, I moved to Ontario, where I had a mandatory gym class. PArt of it was taught in a class room where they talked about, health, drugs, alcohol etc. But I don't at all remember being taught about contraception, safe sex etc. At least not in the classroom. They never preached abstinence until marriage.
I think they should have a mandatory sex ed program in all schools, in my grade eleven year there were 4 pregnant girls. That's when the nurses came in to hand out condoms and sell the pill. I think the school noticed the baby problem
OMG! I'd totally forgotten about "Family Life"! That was my 2-8th grade "sex ed" as seen by the Catholic Church. It was supposed to be "age appropriate" and depict church approved views. They were a different color every year and had stupid exercises you had to do.