I know that there have been posts before about The Proposal, but I really just feel like I need to rant.
So, I finally went to see The Proposal with a couple of friends of mine. I really liked it, it was cute and funny and had a love story and happily ever after, etc. etc. I think romantic comedies are adorable, but it's also difficult to watch them because as a feminist, you inevitably find things you don't quite appreciate.
When the movie opened, for the first few scenes, I thought Sandra Bullock's character, Margaret, was awesome. I respected her for being strong and not taking crap from anyone. I especially respected her for continuing to do what she wanted despite the fact that everyone called her "it" or a "witch".
But the movie paints her out to be a complete bitch. Why does every strong woman have to be portrayed as a bitch? And why are strong men portrayed positively? I just didn't like that just because she did not take crap from people, all of a sudden it makes her a horrible, horrible person.
Also, the movie makes it seem like she was basically cured by love. Here's a strong woman who falls in love and then proceeds to let out every vulnerability she's ever had. Like the time she cried in the bathroom when someone called her a bitch. Really?? So, the people who made the movie wanted to portray her as either a bitch or not a strong woman at all.
And the entire time, Ryan Reynolds' character Andrew is trying to rise above her. Because heaven forbid a woman ever be more powerful than a man.
And finally, when he is trying to convince her that they love each other, blah blah blah, and she tries to protest, he yells for her to shut up. And then, when he's kissing her, someone in the background says, "Yeah, show her who's boss, Andrew."
Margaret is also painted as an incredibly lonely woman. Why in the world does her life suck so much when she's a strong woman who doesn't take crap from anyone and all of a sudden brightens up when she unravels all of her vulnerabilities, etc.? I'm not saying that if you are vulnerable or cry that you are not strong. No, not at all. But apparently, that's what the creators of the movie think because at the end, she doesn't even have power over her employees anymore. No one is scared of her now.
And what's also frustrating is that when I left the movie, I mentioned to my friend Joanna that I liked it, but from a feminist viewpoint, I was iffy about it. She then proceeded to tell me to "shut up" and that "it was just a movie".
Yes, I know it was just a movie, and that romantic comedies don't really have the responsibility to be all socially aware, but I don't think I was wrong in being frustrated.
What do you guys think? Should I just leave it at that, that it is just a movie, or am I justified in being frustrated about all of this?
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I don't think that it's just a movie. The problems you identified with it are something that Hollywood feeds us time and time again. It's like Hollywood doesn't have any other script for women. If movies (especially romantic comedies) presented a wide variety of women in different situations with different personalities, this one movie probably wouldn't leave you feeling very frustrated.
One trope this movie had that made me cringe was the funny-old-lady character, where the grandma was just so cute and so funny because she's old! And she's being goofy and clueless! And look, old lady talks about boobs! Why don't grandmas in romantic comedies ever get a bit of dignity?
Absolutely. This story line is so cliche. I think specifically of Deliver us From Eva w/ LL Cool J as the male lead. A woman painted as strong and independent is basically painted as an evil woman out to destroy her friends'/sisters' relationships and can only be calmed down by a love interest. One thing that really annoyed me is that she was a health/safety inspector. One of the things that was suppose to make her evil is when she refuses to be lenient on this restaurant owner and rips him a new one when he asks for an easy grade. REALLY?!!! i don't know about others but I would like to think that health code inspectors are supper strict, you know, help me avoid salmonella or other things that can be caused by lax health code adherence. But no, goodness forbid a woman, even a health inspector,be stringent about enforcing regulations.
Dang it, this was what I was going to say! :)
This is why I hate romantic comedies...all the insipid roles anyone who's not a white male is forced to play.
I think EVERYONE in the majority of romantic comedies are portraying insipid roles.
And what's also frustrating is that when I left the movie, I mentioned to my friend Joanna that I liked it, but from a feminist viewpoint, I was iffy about it. She then proceeded to tell me to "shut up" and that "it was just a movie".
Oh, that's familiar. I had a group of friends that I used to watch movies with regularly. There were many movies that simply left me fuming because, well, that's Hollywood for you. I'd toss out a critique of the movie and my friends would quietly roll their eyes and tell me that I was making a big deal out of nothing. After a time, I noticed that they invited me to go to movies far less frequently. Ah well.
These days, I'm pretty picky about selecting movies I'm willing to see. There's an abundance of aggravating crap out there.
This plotline and characterization is typical of romcoms, which is exactly why I never watch them. Honestly, so-called dick-flicks are much better at portraying strong, capable women on an equal footing with men!! Go figure...
I didn't enjoy the movie for exactly the reasons you stated bothered you.
It's always the same plot. The same characters. The same ending.
The main female character is always either portrayed as a raging cold-hearted bitch, or a pathetic needy child.
These common characterizations are also what make me dislike the series "Twilight" so much. I just finished book 2 and I'm completely appalled with how needy Bella is. I wouldn't want my pre-teen daughter reading a book that would make her think that she can't do anything unless she has a strong male love in her life to help her with everything.
Taming of the Shrew coined it (okay, or something else even earlier) and now everyone copies it: Strong Woman gets cowed by Just The Right Guy.
Ironically the movie based on Taming of the Shrew, 10 Things I Hate About You, didn't totally appall me. But maybe I just haven't seen it in a while and I need to watch it again with the feminist goggles on. I seem to recall Julia Stiles' character starting out strong and continuing to be strong for the entire movie. If anything, dating Heath Ledger's character made her realize that she could still be a strong woman while having a dating life. She started out believing that this wasn't possible and that "sharing" herself with someone would compromise her individuality and/or make her less of a strong woman or less of a person in general or whatever. At least, that's how I interpreted it ... maybe I just plastered my own interpretation onto an actually-sexist movie, I don't know.
Didn't see The Proposal, because after watching the trailer I was convinced it would only piss me off. Sounds like my hunch was pretty accurate.
Littlefox took my shrew comment.
I rented "the Proposal" last night to see for myself if it was as bad as "The devil wears Prada" and all the rest of the "Chick Flicks" that are the most insulting to CHICKS of every type of movie.
I am a screenwriter/actor who must tell you all the truth. Movies suck ass because the people who write the movies and actually get them read and bought by the fatass baldass white men with studios and money to make them......are male. So we are left with crap roles, and movie goers think we in the industry condone these things or LIKE them even. NOT TRUE!!!!!!
Women who do a few of these horrific films many times make their way into the production side of it in order to get better films out there. Remember, romantic comedies can really be sweet, take Nia Vardalos for instance. Her female leads aren't particularly changed in any capacity when they find love. They just suddenly have a boyfriend.
The guys who write these "Proposal" types would LOVE more than anything to "break" a wild woman so they write about it. Truthfully, these "CHICK FLICKS" are really "Dick Flicks" they are really meant for men to think that women who are strong are either evil or lying. Let's try to get more women to write screenplays. That'll change the fabric of everything.
I'm rooting for this too!!
I don't see how being strong and being lonely are somehow incompatible. In fact I would argue the stronger you are often the lonelier you are, as you likely have much less people in your life who at the same level as you and/or who love you. She is an example.
I don't see any flaw with being lonely. It doesn't make her any less strong. And I do kinda hate how feminists discount the affect love can have on you. Not to defend everything in this movie, but I think it's very reasonable for her to undergo a change when falling in love.
(For the record I've never seen the movie so take my 2 cents with a grain of salt).
I know that strong people can be lonely a lot of the times, but it seems like all strong women are portrayed as lonely. So, the message it sends is that if you're strong, you won't have friends or a man or whatever.
And I know love does have changes, and that's fine, but there are people out there who find ways to remain strong even while they are in a relationship. The majority of female characters in Hollywood movies apparently can't do that.
I find it hardest to be strong when I'm lonely.
Romcoms consistently have the same ending. I haven't seen The Proposal, but I do want to recommend a movie I loved that didn't fit the usual mold.
Sunshine Cleaning stars Amy Adams and Emily Blunt, two women protagonists who learn to be strong in their own ways. They are sisters who team up in their own business: a crime-scene clean-up business. And they find their own paths to happiness- the ending doesn't bring in the knights in shining armor.
Your last bit about your friends reminds me of an episode of Scrubs...JD's intern keeps making small mistakes, and every time Carla tells him "relax, it's just one little mistake." After this happens about a dozen times, JD snaps and says "Yes Carla, each time is just one little mistake, but when you add them together they become MANY mistakes."
This is what I always tell people who tell me "oh it's just a movie, lighten up." It's not just a movie. It's a pattern, and being exposed to patterns and repeated messages is how human beings learn. If it was just once then no, it wouldn't be a big deal- but as the other commenters have pointed out, it's one movie of a great many with the same plot and the same messages about strong women.