I don’t know if this is right avenue for this, but here it goes anyway.
My mom and me fight all the time, about feminist issues. I don’t know what to do when a disagreement pops in conversation anymore except just walk away, since she won’t really listen to a word I say. For instance:
This morning we went the gym together. The man checking in our cards looked over at me and asked ‘if anything was wrong’ and that I should smile. I responded ‘Oh, nothing’s wrong: this is just how my face looks’ and just walk away. My mom then later is upset that I didn’t smile. I try to explain to her that the man was in fact being rude by demanding I smile, and that it happens to me all the time in public places- but she doesn’t care. I’m just being sour and a ‘beautiful girl like me should smile more’.
I’m at my wits end here. Help?
2 Comments
I was just thinking about a similar incident at work:
At the time, I was working as a cashier for a “big box” store. My break was almost 2 hours late, I had a migraine, and I had mentrual cramps. If that wasn’t bad enough, my line of customers went all the way down across the main aisle. A male customer told me, “Smile! It’s not that bad, is it?” usually, I would try to squeeze out a smile because customer!, but I was not having that day. “Sir, I’m sorry, but I’m in a whole lot of pain right now.”
His response: “Oh.”
So, you were definitely in the right. You may have a pretty smile, but that doesn’t mean anyone is entitled to it.
Ultimately remember, YOU’RE the one living your own life, not the guy at the gym, not your mother, not anyone else. You shouldn’t feel you have to smile unless something makes you feel that way.
As far as your mother not fighting with you over it, I’m not sure what to say.