DO NOT: Approach me as some puzzle to be solved, test to be passed, game to be played, system to be hacked, land to be conquered, object to be possessed, or (to simplify/generalize) thing to be acted upon in order to achieve some result. I am not a chat bot which will dish out flirtation or approval or any goddamn thing you are looking for if you just press the right buttons. I am not a mathematical function whose variables can be manipulated to make a pretty graph. I am not a security system that can be circumvented in order to reveal pussy. If someone approaches me with this mindset- I can *feel* it and I recoil.
DO: Approach me like I am a sentient human being with her own volition and will and vector in her life and in her day who might have her own objectives- because despite how fucking adorable I look in that outfit and how approachable I look with that smile and how much I may represent every Manic Pixie Dreamgirl fantasy you’ve had since 7th grade- I am not there to fulfill some unmet need of yours.
DON’T: Stare at me for more than a few seconds without saying something or looking away. I am not a scrambled porn channel to be deciphered by watching it with a tilted head and adjusting your television. Yes, my top is revealing. Yes my skirt is short. No, I am not part of the show, and I am not included in your price of admission.
DO: Say something. There are few hard and fast rules about what you can say- to me anyway- but I can tell you that it’s a whole hell of a lot more about how you say it. I am an earthy bawdy girl- I may actually bite if you say something risqué- but it will depend 10,000% on how you say it and the vibe I get from you. “Beautiful day, isn’t it?” may sound tired and trite- but guess what? If it’s actually a beautiful day (and your odds of that are pretty good here!) then saying that pleasantly and without expectation is perfectly likely to get me talking to you. Which leads me to:
DO: Understand this very important distinction: Expectation DOES NOT EQUAL Appreciation. You said something you thought was nice- I don’t owe you a trick now. Even if I thought it was nice too.
DO: Imagine a role reversal. Imagine a dude looking at you that way, approaching you that way, and saying that to you. Does it feel creepy? Does it make you feel aggressed upon or weird or defensive? Then try a different approach.