Recently in Children Category

I know feminists devote a lot of energy and time to thinking about how people have a tendency to "gender" things (and why they shouldn't be at all) but this last week, I sort of got a short introduction into what may be the hardest things we have when it comes to un-genendering...

our names.

As I've said before, my parents have 5 girls. Now, my name is quite sterotypically female, as is the name of my next sister. The 10 year old, however, is named Wesley Ray. My mother picked the name for a very dear (male) friend of hers who passed less than a week before the birth, and she thought it would be nice. My youngest sister is named after my father's police partner, who was wounded while assisting him in a call, and her name is Corey. In between them is Wren (after the bird) and Quinn (which is a very Irish name). Now all these names are not traditionally female, to be sure. If you heard Wesley and Corey spoken, you'd might assume they were male, and Wren and Quinn, well, you may not know what gender those people were.

I just get extremely tired of people who, upon meeting our family, find it prudent to exclaim "I thought you were a boy!" or "Why does a little girl like you have a little boy's name?" And then the kid gets stuck trying to explain why they have the name they do. Wesley got stuck with a blue name tag in preschool on the first day, because the teacher assumed anyone with that name was male, and it sort of irked her.

I understand that we come from a society that has specific "boy" and girl" names, and it seems like we are not meant to deviate from the set-our parameters, but it gets under my skin! I am starting to become of the opinion that strictly adhering to "boy" and "girl" names isn't such a great idea and maybe we'd be better off if we could just name our children what we truly felt reflected on us best and what "fit" them the most! Granted, I think even I would be a bit taken aback were I to meet a woman named Mikey or Dan or Stevie or something to that effect, but I would do my best to get over it quickly and just move on.

So, are there any women out there who have a traditionally "masculine name" or have given a non-gender conforming name to one of their own? I'm really interested in hearing thoughts on the topic, since I have not met a great number of people in this situation before. Should we just, as a society, get over gendered names and move on, or do you think the confusion would be too great if we did?

Tonight my cousin Maizie who's 7 years old stumbled upon my copy of The Guerrilla Girls' Bedside Companion to the History of Western Art. She read some parts, but mostly asked me to read various captions to pictures of all the "nekkid people". She wondered why all anybody did back then was paint naked people? And some parts were just too naked for her sensibilities. But she did ask me why the book was written and why it would need to be written, because aren't girls good painters too? Now, obviously she has no appreciation for the way women are treated differently than men, and I did skim the portions that I thought were too graphic. She asked a lot of interesting questions. She marveled at the fact that women weren't allowed to read or write, and were basically property of their husbands, fathers, and brothers. I think that maybe just talking about it, especially in a home environment and community that indoctrinates kids with the ideas of Good Girls and Bad Girls is hopefully a step, albeit small, in the right direction.

So, I've just spent like two hours searching for an empowering gift for my 10 year old cousin. I was thinking that I could maybe get a bunch of dress up costumes for her (ie; doctor, president, astronaut), but not only would that be a little pricey, but she's probably getting out of the dress up phase. Maybe books? She is the youngest, and her two older brothers always get the fun things, while she gets Bratz dolls (which I promptly told her were unrealistic images of women) and makeup kits.

I'm sure y'all have some great ideas. Please, throw them at me!

I have a question to pose to the Feministing community:

How and when should you talk to your kids about abortion?

I have been a strong Choice supporter since I had my Feminist Awakening (yes, it deserves to be capitalized!) in college, but I'm now being confronted with an issue seemingly more complex. My stepson especially is very interested in politics -- he came with me to an Obama rally in Columbia, MO and helped my fiance and I canvass for local Democratic candidates. We often have discussions that center around how Democrats are different than Republicans (we're not big on bipartisanship, but it's also simplified because he's 8), but haven't yet breached the Choice issue.

In thinking about what I would say, I became concerned that my opinion would seem cruel to he and his 5-year-old sister who both love little babies.

How can I argue for the pro-choice point of view in terms that are simple enough for kids to understand but also effective?

Click on pic for trailer.

Amy is coming out with a new digital series with ON networks that celebrates young girls who are changing the world by being themselves. The show - Smart Girls at the Party - aims to help girls find confidence in their own aspirations and talents, and to prove that you don't have to be famous to be interesting.

Amy, we love you.

This Friday our daughters' daycare/preschool has its annual Halloween party. For the most part it's a fun event with a lot of cute kids. But every year there's a couple of the girls who wear these costumes that make the other parents wonder wtf their parents are thinking. Here are a few examples of what I'm talking about. Last year the winner of the WTF! costume award was a 6 y/o who came dressed as a Bratz doll, complete with ass-revealing skirt, tube top over padded bra, fishnet stockings, and clear heels. I'm almost afraid to wonder what it will be this year. What possible argument could be made in support of this (by anyone who's not actually a pedophile, I mean)? Any suggestions on how these parents could explain to their daughters in a tactful, feminist, non-authoritarian way that the costume they've chosen is inappropriate?

The local girl scouts are having a sleepover at the mall and can earn a merit badge from it.  Seriously, WTF?!?!?  I have to admit that I like to shop and have certainly spent a lot of time doing so, but it's not exactly a habit that needs to be taught and encouraged.

Probably a good idea to stay away from the mall that night, too ;-) From the San Jose Mercury News:

Now that's a sleepover: Girl Scouts and Brownies from Santa Clara County will be camping out at Westfield Valley Fair during a mall sleepover night that begins at 7:30 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 25, and ends at 7:30 a.m. Sunday. The Scouts and their troop leaders and chaperones will be spending 12 hours at the shopping center participating in events that include shopping, eating, a dance party and learning about the Earth's climate change with reps from the Climate Project.

Many of the mall retailers will remain open for the girls and their guardians to shop after Valley Fair closes to the public at 9 p.m. And instead of s'mores and hot dogs, the munchies include a midnight pizza party at Pizza My Heart.

"Several thousand'' Scouts are expected at the first-time event for the shopping center, Valley Fair marketing director Stacy Carroll said. And yes, the Scouts earn a badge for their mall sleepover experience.

Ok, so was watching TV, as you do. And this ad comes on...pretty normal. BUT here's the problem; the ad was for some new product named, "Girl Gourmet" a mini cupcake maker...so? Not so bad? Well, the ad featured several young girls all giggling and laughing and making lovely pink, "girly" cupcakes with mountains of sprinkles...and that's GIRL gourmet, featuring GIRLS with PINK cupcakes...no boys...only pink...cupcakes.

Am I the only one who sees a problem...?

Hey, the kids wanting this but you know, embedding sh*t like this in their brains so early???

My partner and I were just shopping for pajamas for our two-year-old son through Old Navy's web site. It makes us nuts that babies' and children's clothes are so strangely gendered (shirts with waists and busts for baby girls? trucks and tools for boys, cartoon animals and hearts for girls?), and it's a pain to have to shop through two separate categories of clothes--Baby Boy and Baby Girl--to see everything in his size. Anyway, we were thinking of buying him this set of pajamas with a sweet animal print when my husband said "Oh, no--we can't buy THOSE" and pointed, distressed, at the name of the color--Chastity Pink. For babies. (Well, for baby girls, anyway.) That's just weird.

I wanted to share this with others who would find this comment as awesome as I did. 

I am a mentor for a 9 year old girl through Big Brothers, Big Sisters.  As one of our ongoing projects, we are scrapbooking some of the activites we have done throughout the months.  While we were scrapbooking, I helped her write out the title Big Brothers, Big Sisters Outing on top of her page, and she said "Why is it Big Brothers then Big Sisters??  I want to put Big Sisters, Big Brothers."  I laughed because I had the same thought as we were writing it out!  I love how she can see inequality and comment on it so innocently. 

Thanks for letting me share my story!