Recently in Friday Feminist Fuck You Category

I know there has been stuff about Erin Andrews everywhere lately, some good and some bad, but I just had to post this. Apparently she is now being harassed by the paparazzi (shocking I know!) and she recently made a 911 call about it. Of course, this call has found it's way to the interwebs and it is, also of course, being picked apart by various bloggers.

Well this one Yahoo sports blogger, Chris Chase, has decided that Erin Andrews' story of being filmed in the nude in her hotel room is "full of contradictions" and "there are shades of gray everywhere." Um, I'd like to give that a big: NO, and a big: What...The...Fuck...?!?!

According to Mr. Chase, people have been saying everything from about Erin Andrews from her being a victim to "she brought it on herself, blame the bloggers, blame the internet, etc. There is no right answer though." Yes, there is a right answer: she is a victim. A victim of a horrible crime of someone deciding to peep into her hotel room, video tape her while she was naked and post that video on the internet! That is the right answer Mr. Chase. How can one even begin to describe that situation as being one that has "shades of gray?"

And, of course, in his and many others' eyes her 911 call only furthers their idea that she's in it for the fame. Maybe she leaked the tape herself to get more popular? After all, she did refer to herself during the call as "the girl that was videotaped in my hotel room in the nude" and said she's been "all over the news." Doesn't that just mean she's an attention-seeking whore?

Generally I avoid comments on these types of horrid blog posts but two did stick out as actually using their brains and, I think, are worth noting:

Nikkithunder said: "I want to know how Erin "cultivated her sex appeal"....because she is attractive, that means she's automatically using her body to get more attention? It seems as if you are criticizing her for being upset about people all of a sudden prying into her personal life. You said that "she lived in front of the cameras". No she hasn't. She's done a job in front of the cameras...two totally different things. She has had her privacy taken away from her, and it seems as if it's being insinuated that she's being hypocritical, because now she has reporters outside of her house, and that makes her a bit upset. I hope the person who did this is brought to justice, and I hope that she could somehow revive her career, whether it be on ESPN, or anywhere else, b/c nobody deserves such humiliation. This post is overly judgmental and insensitive to me."

And Rich C: "Chris Chase...there are issues of gray everywhere? If you really believe that you are an idiot. She was filmed through a peep hole, what part of that is remotely acceptable? She isn't like Paris Hilton or Kim who filmed a sex tape. She wasn't doing anything other than staying in a hotel room, yet somehow she brought this on herself by clamoring to be on dancing with the stars? Are you crazy? She is a beautiful woman, and to assert that she brought this one herself because she wanted fame is ridiculous. Fame doesn't equal videos of you naked across the web, the fact that you would assert that is crazy. This is one of the rare issues that is black and white. Somebody filmed her without her knowledge in a private place, without her approval. That is illegal, and to assume that she was somehow asking for it sounds childish."

So how about a big Friday Feminist Fuck you to Chris Chase and the rest of those jackasses who think this situation has "shades of gray?"

This might be more about being a decent human being than a feminist. Whether you are a founder of an anti-abortion group saying Tiller got what he deserved or a writer asking if this act is wrong, there is sympathy for Roeder.

Saying things like "Tiller deserved it" is somewhat condoning what Roeder did. It may be a mild form of it but it's still sick. According to Roeder's ex-wife, he started by supporting the killings of abortion providers and bombing of abortion clinics. Do you really want to be on same road as him?

What kills me is that if someone said anything like this about other acts of terrorism like 9/11 or Oklahoma City, people wouldn't stand for it. Of course, in those cases the political beliefs behind those acts are very rare among Americans. So because there are a good number of anti-choice people in this country, suddenly these things become somewhat okay? A decent human being wouldn't stand for this. Had the situation been the opposite, a pro-choice advocate killing Randall Terry for example, I would not say anything that anyway condoned it. I would never say "he deserved it."

I've been very upset the past few days. I met George Tiller around the time he was shot in 1993. I was six at the time so I don't really remember him. My dad was the one who really knew him. I won't go as far as to say they were friends but they were on a friendly basis. My feelings may stem out of sympathy for my father and my personal pro-choice stance. Even after mentioning my personal connection to Tiller people will actually dare to say these things. Some even going as far as to compare Tiller to Ted Bundy. (FYI: I called the person's argument weak because it relied on a bad comparison) This makes me doubt they would practice some desecration if they were talking to Tiller's family and close friends. This shows how sick and twisted people can be in this world.

It's not Friday but here's a big feminist fuck you to all people who on any level condone violence against abortion providers.

Dear Mr. Orlando:

I was quite shocked and disappointed to receive your email stating that you would no longer welcome our business simply because we are a pro-choice organization. It is disappointing that you would give in to angry protesters carrying hostile signs about your business rather than supporting the paying customers who were well-behaved.

On the St. Louis Catholic blog, it quotes you as saying you will no longer provide services to Planned Parenthood. We are not Planned Parenthood and never have been. We are an organization of religious groups and individuals. At the banquet were dozens of clergy. There were also many politicians and directors of several other non-profit agencies. They are all quite dismayed to hear of your announcement and many have vowed to remove their business from you.

Not actually Friday yet, but a big FFFY to the store Forever 21. Awhile back, someone posted about F21 starting a new "plus size" line, and how ridiculous we thought the whole thing was.

Well, our predictions have come true:

You know something is seriously wrong with society when an 11/12 is put under plus-size.

Even though it's early Saturday morning and I'm tired, I still have to give a giant Friday Feminist Fuck You to Sarah Palin for invoking the anti-choice argument that pisses me off the most at a recent Right to Life rally:

I can look at a scared, embarrassed unwed teenager carrying a child, and I can look at a desperate adoptive parent's eyes, see their longing for a child, and I can know for sure, Vanderburgh Right to Life, you are doing the right thing, because you are planting those seeds, reminding us that children are meant as perfect gifts, not as burdens.

In other less convoluted words, Sarah Palin is suggesting that women have children they don't want so that they can give them away to a woman who can't get pregnant. She is telling women with unwanted pregnancies to think about every other woman in the world and put herself last before she decides what to do with her pregnancy.

Fuck you, Sarah Palin. No woman has to rent her womb out to anyone who is so "desperate" to have a child that they'll only adopt one from a knocked up teen who considered having an abortion. There are millions of kids around the world who don't have parents and are waiting to be adopted. Most of those kids will never be half as healthy as little Trig Palin or live to see their first birthday like he will (although, thankfully, most of them won't be political pawns like Trig. Speaking of which, fuck you again, Sarah Palin, for using Bristol and Trig as political pawns.). There are more adoptable kids in the U.S. than there are parents willing to adopt, which leaves a lot of foster kids out on the street on their 18th birthday. The couples who are that in want of a child can adopt one of those children. So can you, Sarah Palin, who has yet to adopt a single child. Guess she's not ready to walk that walk.

I can't give you the specific page, since I'm at the dorms and my copy of "John Adams" by David Mccullough is at home, but I just rediscovered something that pissed me off about that book. It's actually the sole reason I stopped reading it -- the simple statement lost all my respect for Mccullough as a writer and author.

Now in writing a book about John Adams, Abigail Adams is bound to come up. They're like peanut butter and jelly -- you can't mention one without mentioning the other. Anyway, in the book the famous 'remember the ladies' line is mentioned.

Mccullough quickly says that Abigail Adams didn't really mean that she wanted rights for women -- he says that she was joking.

Actually, I've found several websites saying that she was joking. Was she? I don't believe she was. Yes she might've realized that it wasn't likely to happen, but was it a joke? No! Wishful thinking? Maybe. But I'm sure she wasn't laughing. After all, she was a strong, intelligent woman who was literally running a household and a farm at the same time while her husband was away, a husband she wasn't just a wife to, but an equal to in terms of mind?

Abby wasn't joking. Don't suggest she was. By saying she was joking, one can dismiss her intelligence and ferocity, and somehow make her more "feminine" or docile. By saying she was joking, you can undermine how political women were then. By saying she was joking, one gives the upperhand to John Adams in that marriage, when so much evidence points to them considering each other their equal.

I really don't understand why Abigail Adams would mention in so many letters, both to her husband and other people, that women should get a slice of the independance pie. She wasn't a comedian. She wasn't spreading a good joke. She was expressing her (practical) opinions. Deal with it, Mr. Mucculough. Maybe you should write a biography on someone other than men.

It is not yet Friday, but I have a big Friday feminist fuck you to the men at my favorite bar last night.

We're just two girls at the bar and we feel like gazelles at the watering hole.

You want to buy me a drink? Fine. You want to buy my friend a drink? Fine. Does this mean that we are REQUIRED to talk to you? At all? I thanked you, now go away.

Thank you for the 3 dollar drink, I'm so glad I didn't have to break my bank for that extra rum and coke. Thank you. As a professional woman, I know I can't afford the 3 dollar drink, after I've already had six of them. That extra 3 bucks would really kill me. And why have you been making googly eyes at both of us all night, but only wait until we are already intoxicated to decide to buy us drinks? Fuck you.

After six dollars and fifty cents, we are supposed to fuck you?

I don't think so.

Liberal talker Ron Reagan (son of the president, brother of the right-wing wacko talker) rarely evokes the bullshit moralism traditionally associated with the political party of his now-sainted father, but today was another story all together.
Today Reagan had Steven Hirsch, co-chairman of Vivid Entertainment on to discuss Vivid's offer of $1,000,000 to Nadya Suleman for being in a single pornographic movie. The question Reagan intended to get answered was

"is Hirsch being a good [sic]humanitarium and helping this woman or is he a sleazeball who is out to make money off of someone's unfortunate circumstances?"

But frames it in such a way that no one with any possible amount of self-respect would do pornography. Fuck you, Ron Reagan."How would you feel," Reagan asked Hirsch, "If you found out that your mother had done a porno when you were a child?" Hirsch answers thusly: I would respect my mother for doing what she needed to do in order to take care of her family; then talks about how Suleman needs to be able to take care of her family and needs a job to do it."But she would have to have sex with a bunch of strangers," Reagan chides, then gets up on his high horse about how the children will react, "what if they see it?", and how Hirsch is exploiting Suleman, closing the interview with "don't take this the wrong way, but I hope you will someday be ashamed of what you're doing here." (That's not a direct quote, mind you.)Fuck you, Ron Reagan.First of all, regarding the children: IF Suleman decides to do this movie, gets her million bucks and raises her children with that income, I'm pretty sure someone is going to have the mind to tell her that there's no shame in doing pornography (which is essentially what Reagan is pushing), and would teach the kids that mom did what she "had to" and that there's no shame in doing some work in order to provide for your family. Moreover, what child would ever want to have anything to do with a porn movie that their parents were in? 

Ok, so I just really need to get this off my chest..... Friday Feminist Fuck You to Sexist Teachers!

My teacher today in class honesty just told a girl, "You go and get a high education and then marry a man and you can get the house you want." WHAT THE FUCK?

When I protested against the latter part of his statement he jokingly replied, "Oh Lucy, dont get mad, you know, you know." He was not just trying to pull my chain, he was totally sincere and was then trying to joke it off with me like a laugh and a warm smile could change the fact that he just insulted me on almost every level.

I understand that this teacher is from Nigeria and there is a different set of social norms, and I understand that the gal he was talking to plans on getting her MRS degree and wants to be a stay at home mother (disclaimer, there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home parent, but she does not need see the need to have any independent skills either-one husband away from welfare). Their situation  is still not an excuse for assuming that I cannot get a house or financial security without a male spouse. 

In my still pissed off stage.... Fuck you sexist teacher. You are supposed to be a guiding light for youth, thanks for not supporting me.

Just in time for the Friday-Feminist-Fuck-You, I found out, via Margaret Cho's myspace, that she had recently done an episode for the show "The Doctors," a CBS show that is, not surprisingly, produced by Dr. Phil and his son. The episode that she did was all about the lovely little reproductive organ, the vagina.

Unfortunately, this clip is all we'll ever see of the episode because, well, I'll let Ms. Cho say it:

"You can imagine how disappointed I was to hear that the show was never aired because the powers that be at the networks thought that it was too racy! That is ludicrous and ignorant and perpetuates the ‘mystery’ of the vagina! How are we supposed to learn about our bodies if we aren’t even allowed to discuss them in detail? The show was set up so that women could talk to each other frankly about what is going on down there, and if we aren’t able to bring up the subject even in a medical context, when can we bring it up? I think it is a great disservice to women to silence us when we attempt to share truths about our bodies.

Are we supposed to believe that our bodies are somehow wrong and dirty and bad because we are female? This kind of thinking is archaic and misogynist. I expect better from the world, and certainly more from television. Turn the a/c off and turn your minds on!"

Emphasis mine.

So, Dr. Phil and all the other powers that be behind 'The Doctors', fuck you. Seriously, fuck you. This only perpetuates the idea that women's bodies are disgusting, wrong and shameful, and further stigmatizes women's medical treatment.

Oh, and another fuck you for having a plastic surgeon on your panel. Seriously??

Ok, so it is not Friday but this episode of Dr. Phil definitely warrants a "fuck you".

I was watching election news and it went to a commercial break. I flipped through channels and came to Dr. Phil and these older women were discussing how they thought there was a heterosexual dating double standard. I naively thought that the episode would seriously discuss dating double standards in our society. Unfortunately, I was wrong and all the show did was infuriate me.

The show featured a a 58 year old grandmother who liked to date younger men off of the internet and flew around the world meeting men. All Dr. Phil did was tell her how weird and "desperate" she was. A quote from the grandmother:

"There's a huge double standard for women and men... "On my profile, I started at 48, then, I went to 44, 35, 33, 29. I had 50-something guys who were looking for a 36-year-old girl."

In a society where older women are told that they are ugly and romantically worthless after a certain age, it takes serious guts to defy those standards and date anyways.I agree that internet dating can sometimes be dangerous.However, the fact that that woman has the courage to defy social expectations and go after what she wants is pretty awesome!

So, an incident happened last night with the good 'ol fiancee. I let him open an early Christmas gift, which just so happened to be a cute nightie I got for myself. I put it on, and then after I came out in it, sitting on his lap, he asked, "Are you going to go put on makeup now?"

What?? I sat there, in shock, and started crying silent tears. Ouch. He instantly apologized, but still, remember:

We Don't Have To Take It.

Another time, we were watching a film and I said, "I like that woman's boobs." He replied, "Yours will look just like that after you get lipo."

Now, keep in mind, I do like to put on makeup before having sex (occasionally) and I do want liposuction (due to a stomach surgery I had several years ago), but still:

We Don't Have To Take It.

I'm just making this point because I feel like I read so many posts about other feminists saying things about their significant others, and it has just made me wonder if we accept the love that we think that we deserve.

Yes, no one is perfect, but really, we have to draw the line.

We Don't Have To Take It.

My Friday Feminist Fuck You goes out to all the stupid comments made by significant others regarding body image, verbal abuse, or any other demeaning thing said to someone.

FUCK YOU!

I came across this wonderful (*sarcasm*) website today: MensNewsDaily

I don't really know what to say. The website is designed to appear as a "Men's Rights" organization, and maybe I am overlooking something (I don't think I am), but it seems like the whole site all about anti-feminsm. Watch the videos in the left hand panel (from a post called "Great Men's Rights Videos"). I am speechless....

Also, look in the "Op/Ed" section at these articles:

• Tragically, but true to the radical feminist agenda, the Obama/Biden Democratic ticket portends an escalating war on boys, men, fathers, and families.
• Why Governments Love Feminism

That second article linked me to this "Angry Harry " blog. Which includes this ever-so-lovely "Feminism for Male College Students: A Short Guide Rather than the Lies," which can be found here .

What is so sad is that I Googled "Why I Love Feminism" and this "MensDailyNews" BS came up first. I originally logged on to write about why feminism changed my life (it's cliche but it did), but this just offset my mood. I want to cry and throw things! I am just so frustrated and offended... and it's like, what can I do? I could email this misongynist but that will only fuel his fire.

I really do not have words, like this makes me sick.

This morning I'm seething - SEETHING - at the ridiculous but predictable behavior of Senate Republicans concerning the big three automakers' bailout. As other have pointed out, it is nothing short of class warfare. None of the things they're so concerned about regarding the automakers were even an issue in the Wall Street bailout. Nobody worried that those who worked on Wall Street made too much or insisted on having good health care. Why? Because the people who work on Wall Street look like, talk like, and dress like said Republicans. They live in the same neighborhoods, went to the same colleges, and share similar investment portfolios. Some of them even used to work alongside each other.

On the other hand, the auto workers are lowly blue collar folks who have been nothing but uppity all these years, demanding fair pay and good healthcare. In addition, many of the Senate Republicans who are so opposed to the bailout have state-subsidized foreign auto company plants in their states that are non-union, and who contribute tidy sums to their campaigns, as noted on the Rachel Maddow Show last night. But to me the big issue is the hostility Republicans feel for unions, especially one as powerful as the UAW. Finally being in a position to destroy the UAW has obviously given Senate Republicans a giant hard-on, and they're not going to back off no matter what the consequences to the economy. After all, their sector of the economy is not threatened. Those who have been voted out will go back to their private sector white collar jobs, and those who remain will continue to earn a tidy sum working in Congress.

Given that fact, they can smugly say "Fuck you, blue collar workers. Fuck you Michigan." And that is exactly what they're doing. So fuck them. Fuck Senate Republicans, who claim to be "the party of family values," but gleefully choose to put thousands of families on unemployment. Fuck their elitism, and their implicit insistence that they are the only ones who deserve job security and good healthcare.

OK, I'm done now.

'Tis the season. While getting our daily Stewart/Colbert fix last night, we were definitely made aware of this by the plethora of obnoxious ads exhorting us (well, really just him) to remember that "diamonds are forever," "every kiss begins with Kay," and that if he doesn't want me to talk shit about him to all our family and friends, he'd better "go to Jarrett." For some reason these ads (along with the "give your spouse a car for Christmas" ads) seem even more obnoxious to me this year. Maybe it's the recession and the lay-offs. At any rate, fuck the jewelry industry for building ridiculous expectations and trying to make men feel shitty about themselves if they don't invest in jewelry every year. Fuck them for equating gold and diamonds with love and respect. Fuck them for teaching children that this is the way adult relationships should work. And fuck them for ignoring the social and economic implications of their trade.

OK, rant over, back to work...

Oh yes, to be sure, "good girls don't get ink" is an old old OLD line. Those who further wanted to shame those of us who get tattoos came up with the term "tramp stamp" for those tattoos that skinny, slutty women overwhelmingly get on their lower backs.

I've even had my dragon called a "tramp stamp" because people who have never seen me in person (or are unable to understand what "high waisted" means) seem to think that that dragon in the middle of my back is in fact on my lower back.

Frankly, it's offensive.

But, as a loud, foul-mouthed, unabashedly sexual, heavily drinking, porn-loving liberal feminist, I'm pretty used to being told I'm not a "good girl". Pretty sure that most tattooed women are used to that kind of shit -- except, tattoos are becoming increasingly common, much to the shagrin of Ms. Liz Jones of the notoriously anti-woman Daily Mail . (Via. )

"They are a mark of temporary insanity, instantly turning the classiest, chicest woman into trailer trash. Not for nothing are they known as 'tramp stamps'."

Yes. A woman's physical appearance determines entirely their level of classiness. That's why there are no fat chicks at fancy parties for classy people. That's why people with tattoos don't have classy weddings. That's why blondes have more fun.

"Classy" and "chic" are traditionally words that apply to appearance because in the bad old days, before people decided it was okay to be themselves, you could tell the working-class from the upper-crust based on their clothing. Since the surge in middle class, however, it's become increasingly difficult to tell the working-class from the upper-crust, and "classy" has become a personality trait. A person's class, at least this side of the pond (the Daily Mail is based in the UK), is now determined based on how they treat others, whether they are heartless bitches who judge other women as "trailer trash" for having tattoos or not.

Read the whole thing at Art of the Possible .

I've got my dander up. Way. Way up.

I know I'm a white(ish) person who has never been randomly followed or searched in a store because of the color of my skin. I've never been pulled over for driving-while-black. I've never experienced a lot of the things that those with darker skin than mine have experienced, but I still get really fucking pissed off when I hear about it happening or see it on the goddamn news.

This week, not only has Senator, and I use the term very loosely, called Barack Obama "that one" (Southern code for the n-word, or so I hear), but there are fuckers out there actually galling to call Senator Obama a "fucking n****r", "terrorist", "Arab", telling him to "go home" (to Africa? to Arabia?), whatever, all because the John McCain campaign has whipped up the frenzy of racism so that he might try one last-ditch effort to get his sorry, racist, classist, misogynistic, homophobic, cowardly ass elected. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Sure, John, you can have the KKK vote, but the more you go down this line, the more you're just going to be left with the asshole who got arrested for threatening an election official with a gun because he needed his voter registration card so he could "keep the n****r out of office".

Please forgive but I am some kinda pissed off right now. Actually pissed off is putting it nicely, I am simply disgustted.
Today I went to lunch with a female co-worker who I always thought was just an all-around cool person. While I wasn't sure what exactly her political affiliation was, I loved discussing all the irony and ridiculousness in society. She is very intelligent and always brought an interesting perspective to things. Anyways,she asked me if I was in any clubs at school and I told her how I was a member of a student group called N.O.W.C.A.N. (National Organization for Women Campus Action Network, basically a college version of NOW) and I explained to her what it was. She then asked me what kind of stuff we did and I'm really bad explaining stuff on the spot so as I was about to answer her question she goes "You just sit around and discuss different brands of tampons, right?" Although I was pissed at this point, I was used to getting those "joking" kind of reactions from people who didn't really know much about feminism. Only, her remark wasn't followed by the usual laugh or "I'm just kidding" add-on, and it really sounded like she was dead serious. I then laughed nervously, replying, "No we discuss women's rights and issues." My co-worker then said, still serious, "Right, so you talk about what brand of tampons to wear." At this point I felt so unbelievable uncomfortable and my phone just happened to ring (thank you god)so I picked it up and that was basically the end of it.

Right now I just want to cry or scream or punch something I am so outraged. But the person I'm most upset with is myself because I just let it go. Feminism is supposed to be about standing up for women and I should have stood up for my feminist values when she tried to attack them, but no, I caved under pressure and changed the subject.
It's one thing if I had simply decided it was not a battle worth fighting, but the truth is, and please try not to judge too harshly - I'm scared of what people will think when they find out I'm a feminist. I've always been very self-conscious and I avoid confrontations at all costs. No matter how hard I try not to care about what other people think, it really does get to me.
And as proud and fullfilling as it is for me to say "I'm a feminist," I just get so frusterated with people's negative/sexist reactions to the simple statement. I get knots in my stomach when someone asks me about N.O.WC.A.N. I even feel the need to read feministing in secret because, frankly, I am tired of being put on the defensive, I am tired of always having to justify feminism, and most of all, I am fucking sick and tired of "So you sit around and talk about which brand of tampons to use?"

But I am not going to give up that easily. Countless women have sacrificed their lives so that we could get to where we are now, and I am not going to let that feminist flame burn out. In fact, I am going to look at today's incident as one more piece of evidence for why we still do need feminism.

Thank you for letting me vent, I feel much better now. Stay strong feministingers!

In June of 2007 I experienced a date rape that involved the guy I was out with utilizing physical and mental manipulations in order to convince me that if I did not have sex with him I was judging him unfairly and wasting his precious time (as though he had hired me, paying me in pizza, to have sex with him. That's not my profession). In May, I shared this experience with a group of people who are really good at taking standardized tests, and a firestorm began in which I was accused of making a false accusation of rape because, by their judgment, I was not sufficiently raped.