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I've been commenting on feministing for a while now, but this will be my first post. So, officially, hello out there!

I am a Jon and Kate Plus 8 watcher. It's a bit of a guilty pleasure for me, I have to admit. I get a kick out of seeing how cute the kids are and how amazing their family dynamic really is. Hey, family vacation were hard enough in my family growing up with only me and my brother to worry about, I cant imagine trying that with eight!

Now many of you out there may have realized that the rather media famous couple has been going through very hard times and has very recently filed for a divorce. While divorce is a very common occurrence in marriages in today's society, I couldn't help but notice the media coverage of it all and the way that people have been talking about their marital problems.

It seems to have come down to taking sides. Are you on Jon's side, or Kate's?

While I wouldn't personally be overly bothered by that fact, I have been taking sharp notice to the fact that it is Kate who is being blamed for their marital problems. On blogs and online surveys, Kate is being held at fault and words like 'bitch' and 'whore' are being thrown around.

While Jon has been accused of having an affair with another woman, Kate is being blamed for their problems and divorce because she 'yells alot'.  

So, for anyone who watches the show or has taken any notice to the media bashing of Kate, any opinions of the matter?

I haven't seen the movie yet, but I stumbled upon Andrew Klaven's (from Pajamas Media) review of The Hangover.  His comments on traditional gender roles and how it has changed today got my blood boiling:

A lot of critics get all huffy about this depiction of the sexes - read the silly little fellow who wrote the review in the New York Times by way of example.  The standard line seems to be to blame it all on childish filmmakers pandering to adolescent audiences.  But you know what?  I suspect a lot of it is simple realism.  More and more often I meet young guys just like this:  overgrown kids who are their grim wives’ poodles.  They sheepishly talk about getting a “pink pass,” or a “kitchen pass,” before they can leave the house.  They can’t do this or that because their wives don’t like it.  They “share” household and child-rearing tasks equally - which isn’t really equal at all because they don’t care about a clean house or a well-reared child anywhere near as much as their wives do.  In short, each one seems set to spend his life taking orders from a perpetually dissatisfied Mrs. who sounds to me - forgive me but just speaking in all honesty - like a bloody shrike.  Who can blame these poor shnooks if they go out and get drunk or laid or just plain divorced?

But he doesn't stop there.  He goes on to say that "marriage is a large sacrifice for a man" because he "gives up his right to sleep with a variety of partners, which is as basic an urge in men as having children is in women".

Somehow he thinks that by adding that he has been happily married for 30 years, his comments are excusable. Instead he minimizes a woman's role to basically cleaning, cooking, and child bearing.  How typical.

I came across this thread today over an obviously sexist Burger King ad and was reminded of the depths of anti-feminist sentiment still present today.  The comments ironically deny the existence/importance of sexism while highlighting the attitudes and obstacles feminists struggle against.  Eek.  Photo here

Hello, I’m a relatively new, yet avid reader of Feministing, and a self-proclaimed “baby feminist.”  Over the past few months I’ve learned so much from this website and all the contributors.  I guess it was only a matter of time before I worked up the courage to contribute something myself.  Bear with me because this is a bit lengthy. 

Last week I saw the box-office hit “The Hangover.”  I’d heard nothing but praise for the movie – that it was hilarious and the perfect summer film.  So on a lazy Sunday I finally decided to see the movie that everyone was talking about.  From the beginning, I enjoyed a few laughs here and there with the other movie go-ers.  That is until, the humor evaporated for me in one scene.  But I’m getting a little bit ahead of myself here with this statement.  First I’ll explain the concept of the movie, for those who have not seen it. 

The premise of the “The Hangover” is that a group of four men go to Las Vegas to celebrate a blow out bachelor’s party for one of their friends. They begin their night by toasting on the rooftop of their hotel and downing a shot of Jaeger before setting out on an epic celebration of the single life.  The next scene cuts to the morning after when an intense hangover sets in and three friends realize that the fourth - and groom - is missing.  The hilarity ensues as they progressively try to piece together the activities from the night before with no actual memory of the night’s events.  There are bruises, a missing tooth, a tiger, a chapel marriage, theft and much more, which just adds to the question, “What the hell happened last night?”  That must be some hangover…

But there was a small twist in the story to explain that “the hangover” and the night’s activities were not alcohol-induced, but actually the product of being drugged. 

I wanted to reach out to the forum and ask, is anyone else out there writing/reading about gender and popular music?

I write a blog myself, called Rock and the Single Girl .  I try to discuss issues around women in punk and hardcore, I try to talk up women in good bands (and the guys who support and work with them).

I posted this a little while ago: Feminists We're Calling You, Please Report to the Internets. And there I ask exactly what I'm asking here: what suggestions or recommendations do you all have for good lady and possibly feminist music critics? 

Thanks so much in advance for your help, everyone!

You can file this under mostly irrelevant but maybe amusing.

Seeking to re-brand in order to distance itself from controversy and diversify in a tough economy, notorious private military company Blackwater Worldwide has abandoned all iterations of its butch but amateurish bear paw/cross hair logo in favor of something a little sleeker . 

Spokesperson Tyrrell explains, ""We've taken the company to a place where it is no longer accurately described as Blackwater," and accordingly, been re-named "Xe," pronounced "Zee."

The company formally known as Blackwater did not attatch any particular meaning to Xe, and are probably unaware of it's use as a gender-neutral pronoun.  I imagine it was a happy accident.

More information on Xe (the pronoun)

More inforation on Xe (the company)

Crossposted at citizengirl.org

Ugh, so some of you might be aware of the latest Sarah Palin publicity ploy.  She went to NYC to get a little face time and do some interviews and brought some family with her.  David Letterman catches wind of it and cracks a bunch of jokes about her.  Including a joke about a baseball player and notorious womanizer getting Palin's daughter pregnant.

Oops:  the daughter that came to NYC was the 14 year-old and not the 18 year-old.

So there's been all sorts of outcry from the Palin camp.  Accusations of joking about rape have been repeatedly made and a few snide comments about how Letterman is just trying to ride on Palin's coat tails. Letterman made a serious apology, stressing that if he knew that it was the minor daughter, then he would have never cracked that joke.

Ok, so here's the part that I think we ought to discuss.

Letterman's explanation that he was referring to her 18-year-old daughter, Bristol, instead of her 14-year-old daughter, Willow, who accompanied her recently to New York, was met with derision by the governor. She called the remarks a "very convenient excuse" that took him a couple of days to present. "It was a degrading comment about a young woman. I would hope that people really start rising up and deciding it's not acceptable. No wonder young girls especially have such low self-esteem in America when we think it's funny for a so-called comedian to get away with being able to make such a remark as he did and to think that that's acceptable, " Palin said.

My knee-jerk reflex is to hate on the Palins and support Dave.  Because I think its fairly obvious that the joke was on Bristol.  But when I think about it, she's still right and its a sexist joke.

I'm just a junior feminist, so its still tough for me to pull apart "respecting women" into feminist and anti-feminist components.  And please don't interpret this as condoning or supporting her politics.  But maybe we should acknowledge that we agree sometimes, while pointing out the distinct differences in the source of our agreement...

I don't know.  Anyone want to help me parse this one out?

You may or may not know about the upcoming movie District 9. It's a side note, don't worry if you don't. You may also know of Comic-Con, an annual comic book convention. Again, sort of a side note.

IGN recently opened a contest centering around the movie, and the winner recieves a trip for two to Comic-Con, to meet the cast and crew of the movie. Cool, yes? Well, except for the part where you have to have a penis to win.

That's right. Only males can enter.

WHAT? My mind is blown. Yes, we're talking about a website with a mostly male readership, but SERIOUSLY?

I'm not sure how to take action against this. If anyone has ideas on how to send the message that this is unacceptable, I'm ready to hear them.

So, i work at the gigantic green and white coffee company on every corner and i love it. but sometimes, most days, most hours, people are total total assholes to us. What's shocking is that the things they say are so unbelievably beyond rude. They transcend normal low-level rudeness. These people say things to me that are so rude if i weren't wearing an apron and we were just talking i'd sever the friendship then and there.  Cases in point:

You all know about the Fling Chocolate campaign, the 85 calorie finger of chocolate release by the Mars Company that is currently sold only in California and online. You can check out the television commercial here .

After checking out the website and advertising, I feel like I’ve learned some important things about myself, as a woman. I’ve saved you all time and angst and have listed the top 5 lessons below – beware, I’m fraught with sarcasm.

1. Sex and Chocolate are like the same thing! Women go crazy for chocolate and they go even more crazy for “healthier” versions of chocolate. We love it so much that it’s pretty much a substitution for sex – does it seem like we’re having a sexual escapade with a guy in a dressing room? No! We’re eating chocolate. I think Sarah Haskins has made this point far better than I ever could.

2. Eating regular chocolate should make me feel like I had an affair! When you end up “in bed” with chocolate, you risk gaining weight or getting fat. That should make you feel like you cheated on your partner which means you should be feeling guilty and horrible about it. That’s why a fling is great! It’s less guilt than a typical affair and we can relate to that because we’re flippant and looking for ways to give into our desire without compromising our morals/bodies. After all, we should be naughty but not too naughty. Good thing fling chocolate can help us keep our diet – and values – in check.

3. The only time I can refer to my sexuality openly is when I'm actually talking about something else. Using coded language that is usually considered taboo with regards to women’s sexuality is perfectly acceptable when you’re describing chocolate. That’s how we can feel like we’re going outside of our puritan values without actually disrupting or challenging those values .

4. I love shiny pink things. I don’t know about you ladies, but as soon as I see a shiny pink wrapper, I’m sold ! It’s still in small discreet packaging, just like tampons and “womanly subjects” are supposed to be, so it won’t embarrass you to *gasp* eat it in public!

5. I'm unable to talk about my health and health food alternatives unless they’re delivered through sexual innuendos. With sexual innuendos available to tell me how to live, what could I possibly want safe, honest and accurate information for? I’d rather have my nutritonal information and health conscious alternatives wrapped in a shimmery cloak of guilt-free sexiness.